Talk about children's emotional intelligence development
Text/Xiucai
Empathetic teaching from parents will teach the child to be an empathetic person. If IQ determines a person's direction, then EQ determines how far the person can go in this direction. What exactly is high emotional intelligence? The most commonly used full name for emotional intelligence is "emotional quotient", which tends to measure a person's ability to manage emotions, and can also be understood as: the ability to regulate one's mental state and get along with others. It includes independence, empathy, responsibility, self-confidence, self-discipline and many other aspects. The real high emotional intelligence is more like the cultivation and cultivation that radiates from the inside out.
For the cultivation of children's emotional intelligence, parents are the child's first teacher, and the most important teacher. To cultivate children's high emotional intelligence, pay attention to these six points:
First, praise others: There is a good saying, "the degree of comfort you say determines the height you can reach." A child with a "sweet mouth" who knows how to praise others appropriately will always make people happy, happy to be close to them, and of course, more likely to succeed. Of course, whether children can learn to speak well depends on the teaching and dialing of parents, because they are copying, pasting, upgrading parents' words and deeds, if you want to have a child who talks well, the best way is to talk to them well first and show them how to talk well.
Second, without emotions, poke people's pain points: everyone has their own taboos, and they all dislike others to mention their taboos. In order to be quick for a while, deliberately exposing people's shortcomings and poking people's sore spots will not only hurt the other party's self-esteem, cause the other party's disgust, and sometimes may also attract resentment. Xiao Zhong quarreled with his classmate Xiao Lin over a small matter, Xiao Zhongzui couldn't quarrel stupidly, and blurted out in a fit of anger, "You speak so viciously, no wonder you were abandoned by your mother and said that you were a burden." As a result, Xiao Lin beat Xiao Zhong on the spot. After Xiao Zhong's mother knew the reason, she criticized Xiao Zhong fiercely, and pulled him to Xiao Lin's house to apologize. It turned out that when Xiao Lin's mother divorced his father, Xiao Lin wanted to live with his mother, but his mother gave up his custody in order to make it easier to remarry in the future, and said that it was a burden to take him. The words "abandonment" and "burden" have always been a pain in Xiao Lin's heart. Teach children not to poke people's pain points even when they are angry, and make fun of other people's flaws and misfortunes, because then they will not get pleasure and others will not get warmth.
Develop a little sense of humor: "If matches burn in your pocket, be thankful, fortunately your pocket is not a depot of explosives." Chekov used to comfort his friend with such humor. Humor makes people happy, humor makes people laugh, people with a strong sense of humor can turn sadness into laughter, can turn failure into motivation, and humor can always give people a lot of inspiration. Our children, to be honest, the pressure is quite high, reading is very hard, but life can be happy, have a humorous heart, have a sense of humor, the string of English words does not seem to be so abhorrent, the headache of mathematical formulas does not seem to be so difficult. Children can be humorous, less stressed, and good grades.
Fourth, less whining, less complaining: whining and complaining are strong negative emotions. Although on the surface we seem to be accusing others and venting our grievances, in fact, it ignites the fire in our hearts, leaving us in a "state of internal attrition" at all times, which slightly wears down our patience, confidence and initiative.
Fifth, face up to failure and afford to lose: From the perspective of child psychology, it is a normal phenomenon that children "cannot afford to lose". No matter what, children always want to do better, be better than others, and gain the recognition of those around them. However, because the child is young and immature in all aspects, he does not understand his strengths and weaknesses, and once he is inferior or lost to others in front of others or in group activities, he will show dissatisfaction and unhappiness. Most of the so-called frustration and powerlessness of children are learned from the day after tomorrow. When children do not do well, parents will always scold like this: "You didn't put your mind on learning, I'm afraid it's not reading material!" Over time, children will also use these ideas to evaluate themselves. Therefore, when the child encounters setbacks, we should not hold on to the child's mistakes, nor focus on the results, the important thing is that the child is willing to try and work hard in the process. Let the child face failure squarely, so that she can be strong in failure and setbacks, and will not be defeated by failure and setbacks
6. Be willing to listen: A philosopher said, "God gives us two ears, but only one mouth, which means that we should hear more and speak less." "But the children I meet around me rarely listen to what others say. Many parents are distressed, children will interject at will when adults speak, and worse, they can't listen to what mom and dad say. How can children patiently listen to others after they have finished or done something before asking questions, rather than interrupting what others are doing? Listening should be mutual, and when adults listen to children, children listen to us. As an adult, you must first lead by example and respect your child in the same way that you treat adults, rather than dismissing them. In other words, as parents, we don't just say no to another adult when they ask us a question. Similarly, when confronted with a variety of questions that our children ask us, we must treat them as adults. Children will be respected because they are respected, and then they can learn to respect others in being respected. Children are born with the ability to develop into an adult with high cognitive capabilities, but they need time to grow. For children, truth is not the most important thing. What they need is someone who can listen to what they have to say, a warm hand when they feel bad, parents who make them feel safe, and the ability to open up to their parents. In doing so, you seem to give up the "harsh" educational means for the child, but in a gentle and firm way to let the child understand right and wrong, make him more aware of his emotions, and let him learn how to "reasonably" manage his emotions as he grows. Empathetic teaching from parents will teach the child to be an empathetic person.
【About the author】
Qi Xipeng, pen name Xiucai, male, born in July 1978, master of Xi'an University of Technology, Heze Municipal Party Committee Party School.
One Point No. Jing Yatin
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