(This article is from a reader's contribution)
01
My daughter, 34 years old, married, son in the third grade.
For many years, I have been in the core department of the unit, my business ability is superb, and the leaders have recognized me.
Everyone says that the core of our department is strong and promising, for example, you will understand:
Among the existing leadership team of the unit, 3 out of 5 were trained by our department.
From the platform, ability training, and personal connections, it is the best department in the whole unit.
Staying here, in addition to being busy with work, has many benefits for personal development.
I am grateful to the leaders for appreciating me and putting me here. My career plan is to keep my position, do my job beautifully, and promotions will come naturally.
My home is seven or eight kilometers away from the unit, the planned subway has not yet been repaired, and I drive to work.
My female section chief is about 45 years old and outgoing and hot.
At work, she agreed with me a lot, appreciated my ability, and said many times that my alma mater (a certain southern 985) was her high school son's dream school, so she praised me.
She lives next door to me, she can't drive, and she used to take the bus to work.
Since I met her twice in the first two years by car, she has gradually become accustomed to commuting to and from work in my car every day.
Wait for me at the bus stop every morning, rain or shine, and wait for me in front of my bus after work.
She also offered to give a ride, but I was also on the way, and she couldn't spend a few more money alone, so I politely declined.
She was not polite, so she didn't mention it again.
With the daily hitchhiking relationship, in addition to work, we gradually became familiar with personal friends, and I also went to her house to eat a few times.
I can feel that since commuting to and from work together, I have become closer to the female section chief.
Her preference for me at work was obvious, and she helped me win several training trips.
02
On the way to and from work, in the car, most of our topics revolve around families and children.
I will learn from her, how to cultivate an excellent son, whether to attend extracurricular classes, and so on.
Her husband is a small leader in the city, who is busier at work and often away from home.
Her son has been under her control since he was a child, and he currently lives in the best high school in the city.
I also talk about my family, and sometimes I ask her about her confusion.
I talked to her about two of our family's biggest problems.
First, my husband works in the audit system and often travels for ten days and a half months, coupled with my son's naughty and difficult to manage in elementary school, I feel very hard alone.
The second is that the elderly on both sides are not in good health, and from time to time they accompany them to run to the hospital, and they have to ask her for leave, and apologize for not being able to take a ride.
She understood all this, and comforted me that the thirties were the most chaotic time, but also the happiest, and after a few years, everything will slowly straighten out.
Her mood is always very stable, and her speech speed is not hurried, giving people a very reliable and down-to-earth feeling.
03
In the middle of last year, I received a notice that I was suddenly transferred to another department that was relatively unpopular.
When I heard this, I was blinded and stood for several minutes before reacting.
I didn't expect that I would suddenly be transferred if I did a good job, and I didn't hear any wind beforehand.
I took the minutes of the meeting and went to the female section chief emotionally, saying that I did not want to change departments, and I wanted to stay here and work under her.
She poured me a glass of water, first stabilized my emotions, and then said that she knew that I was going to transfer away, and soon after the leader had decided to inform her.
She fought for me for a long time and tried to keep me, but to no avail. She regretted the loss of me as a general, but she had no choice but to obey the decision.
In the end, she comforted me and said that multi-position training is a good thing for me, and my resume can be richer, which is also a sign that the leader wants to train me.
In the future, even if I am no longer in her department, she will continue to care about me and help me fight for opportunities.
04
I left the original department with regret. At the same time, a new young man was transferred and sat at my old table.
Everyone rumors that his father is a department-level cadre with a background, no wonder I made room for my position.
I have always been convinced of this, who makes me less tough than others, even if there is a work record and a section chief who helps me stand on the platform.
I'm sure I've never been in a business trip at work, and apart from that, I can't figure out what else I'm going to lose.
It wasn't until recently, by chance, that I realized the truth.
The source of the information is my current supervisor.
On the high-speed train returning from a business trip with him, we were chatting about some trivial matters, and he suddenly asked me if I had offended the former female section chief.
I was confused, no, I respect her, and we all go the same way to and from work, and we get along very well.
The leader told me that since the first half of last year, female section chiefs have frequently gone to different leaders to hum and strongly demand that I be transferred out of the department and replaced with a capable boy.
The reason is that there are many trivial things at home, my husband is on a business trip, the children rebel and what old people are sick, take up a lot of energy, and do not give strength at work.
Next, the department has to carry out a series of big projects and big tasks, and she thinks that my state is not suitable for such an important department, and it will drag my feet and waste people's heads.
And he also said that at first, the leaders rejected her, thinking that I was doing a good job, and for a while they couldn't find a suitable person to replace me.
But she kept going to find the leader in charge of the leader and the leader in charge of personnel, insisting on changing people, and finally the leaders were annoyed, so the new person changed me as soon as he came in, and finally stopped.
After hearing these words, my first reaction was not to believe it, thinking that the leader must have had a festival with the female section chief, and he said that these must be transferring our relationship.
Later, I thought it was wrong, I only talked to her about these trivial things in my family when I was chatting in the car, who else could there be but her?
Even if this leader is suspected of adding fuel and vinegar and deliberately arching the fire, it must be based on facts.
05
This is undoubtedly a great lesson and loss for me.
First, my current position is an order of magnitude worse than the original, in terms of strong core degree and personal future.
I went from the center of the stage to the edge corner, and to say that there was no gap would be fake.
Second, the eldest sister, who was very trusted and cared for, stabbed me in the back, which hit me harder from an emotional level.
I feel like a stupid big sister, and I took out my heart and lungs and finally was sold and returned to the number of people.
Through this painful experience, I have learned several lessons:
1. Don't talk too much about family matters with your leader.
The more you talk, the more they will have on your weaknesses.
You treat them as listeners, saying things that are annoying and big and small, but they will only stand in the position of the leader and analyze whether you can work hard and whether you are a good subordinate.
2. It is best not to let your leadership colleagues take your car to and from work every day, and it is easy to get into trouble if you are uncomfortable.
In fact, I have long been a little annoyed by her hitchhiking, and it is difficult to speak.
Originally, I drove alone, and I was very relaxed.
During the half hour on the road, I could listen to my favorite radio and songs, and even sing two songs to myself.
But since I had her in the car, I had to put away my comfort, be forced to socialize, and feel much more tired.
No, it's social trouble.
3. Many leaders do not thank their subordinates for their "kindness", but take it for granted.
Previously, in order to give the female section chief a ride, there were several times when I wanted to go somewhere else after work, but I insisted on driving her home first.
As a subordinate, the main thing is to be sincere and enthusiastic. Thinking that people will definitely think about my good, and consider me more when there are good things, right?
The result? People pretend to be big-tailed wolves on the surface, but behind their backs they are punishing me and harming me, and they don't remember it at all!
Many leaders are actually like this, in their eyes, subordinates serve themselves that is called natural and righteous, maybe after serving for half a day and picking on you.
In the face of such a leader, don't give indiscriminately, everyone is businesslike, and I don't want to spend a little more effort.
Since I found out about this, I refused her to continue the ride, and directly told her that I was going to pick up my husband from work, and I would not go along with it in the future.
The old lady stopped serving. Unfortunately, enlightenment came too late.
(Contributor: Hikari Sakura; Ye Zijun text sorting, plagiarism must be investigated)
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I am Ye Zijun, more than ten years in the system, down-to-earth workplace experience, honestly teach you to avoid pits. Follow me and make you grow faster!