A long-planned escape
Su Min never thought that one day she would be free.
Finally, he took back the white Volkswagen Polo he bought when he worked in a supermarket for two years, and no longer worried about his wife suddenly taking away the car keys;
The co-pilot eventually stopped chatting and preaching.
You can also eat what you want:
In the past, she used to cook light meals to satisfy her husband's taste, but now she carefully adds chili peppers to the pan, stir-fry meat with chili peppers, and scrambled eggs with chili peppers until cooked. Chili pepper. His nose was sweating.
On the morning of September 23, 2020, he came out of the underground garage, and his daughter gradually disappeared into the rearview mirror.
He continued walking, drove the car out of the gate of the complex, joined the traffic on the main road, and turned onto the main road. His car drove faster and faster until it left the border of Zhengzhou.
Su Min is no longer a wife, mother, daughter or grandmother, but just an ordinary "tourist".
For the first half of his life, "patience" was a consistent theme.
When he was a child, when his two older sisters went down to the mountains in Qamdo, Tibet, and were tasked with cleaning up their dirty pants, he had to resist the same indulgent desire.
When she was young, in the face of her husband's violence and indifference, she insisted that her daughter form a complete family.
The daughter graduated from college and is looking for a partner. In order not to embarrass her daughter, she held back.
Two grandchildren were born, and she still had to take care of the children and endure them.
Until one winter evening, his unfathomable life came to an end.
That day, he searched online for a time-travel novel as usual, and somehow clicked on a link from a blogger who shared his self-driving travel experiences.
Su Min was suddenly taken aback:
Is there such an option?
Su Min thinks he can do it too.
He immediately told his daughter, who watched the video and thought he was just joking, and told him when he might not be able to come out.
The princess gave birth to twins, and Su Min had to take care of the children.
But Su Min's goal this time is clear: "I said I would go to kindergarten when my son went to kindergarten next year." ”
When he left, he prepared silently for almost a year.
On the surface, she is still a good grandmother who takes care of her family, but in fact she keeps a secret:
In her spare time to take care of her grandson, she searches the Internet for self-driving guides.
If you see useful gear, add it to your Taobao cart, from tents, lockers, refrigerators to small pots and pans, rice, oil and salt.
In order to earn money for the journey, he secretly began recording short videos.
During the day, I would "sneak" up some ingredients, such as cooking, rolling noodles, and making samba sauce. In the evening, while everyone was resting, secretly edited and posted.
You can't tell your husband, otherwise you will be ridiculed and your daughter and son-in-law will be ashamed to see you. Su Min didn't expect spring to come. In March, both parties agreed to send their grandchildren to kindergarten. Unexpectedly, all this was interrupted by an epidemic that swept the country. Kindergarten registration was delayed, and Su Min could only stay at home.
"Come on, you still dare to go out." The man had a smile on his face.
Su Min didn't want to worry about him either, and continued to push the shopping cart.
In September, Su Min finally sent her granddaughter and husband to kindergarten. Su Min felt that she had "completed her mission".
She said to her daughter that I gave it to her when it was the hardest time to raise a child, and I will play in the future.
His daughter was worried about Su Min's safety, but he proved his determination with his actions:
Order now and add to cart.
The courier brought them home one by one, and my husband panicked a little.
"If I go, he will have to leave his daughter's house and there will be no one to cook for him." Su Min said.
Her husband tried various methods to stop her, starting with the most common method of repression.
After the tent was installed on the roof of the car, people said, "It's a shame to spend this money." "You won't live for two days. For a while, everything you did was new. ”
Later, he even wanted to apply for an ETC card in the car, but was scolded by his son-in-law and gave up.
Su Min decided in his heart that this time he had to leave, and there was no way back.
"I can't live like this anymore."
Modified rooftop tent with various equipment in the trunk. Photo: Yin Shenglin
Now Su Min's tour bus is full of people:
The carriage was filled with food, portable gas canisters, water, pots and pans, and the back seat was filled with suitcases, cashmere coats and autumn pants.
- He decided not to come back in autumn and winter.
There are also Xiaoice boxes, solar cells and even wireless routers, which have been charged for half a year.
He drove all the way from Zhengzhou to Xiaolangdi in Sanmenxia, and then stayed in Xi'an for a week.
He never walks at night, looks for parking at night, spends half an hour or more pitching a tent, and sleeps on the roof of his car at night.
Along the way, they parked in empty parking lots, free RV campsites, and gas stations on the highway.
At first, he was afraid of being seen by passers-by and had to hide while eating. Later, he gradually got used to different appearances, setting up tents, making ladders, and "moving smoothly".
On the way from Xi'an to Chengdu, we have to detour around the Qinling Mountains, and the steep slope scares experienced drivers.
Su Min walked on the mountain for eight or nine hours, and saw only two cars on the road, but the fear and loneliness disappeared, and he only felt free.
At noon that day, the Qinling Mountains were shrouded in fog, and the visibility was less than 200 meters. Su Min stopped the car and stood in place for a while.
The wind is also the wind of freedom. He made a short video and sent it to his family:
"Look at the steep road and beautiful mountains".
Only the princess answered and told him to stay safe.
Su Min's travel video @ 50-year-old aunt self-driving trip
When I met Su Min, he was already in Chengdu. He was thinner than I thought. She is more than five feet tall, with a ponytail and a linen sweater, looking light and fresh. Within a month after Su Min came out, he drove more than 1,000 kilometers and filled up with fuel five times. His driver's license was deducted nine points for various accidents.
But at the same time, her smile is the most in so many years of marriage.
Perhaps, according to her daughter, this decision was a bit hasty, but only Su Min herself knew that she "really couldn't stand it."
To be with him is stress, pressure, pressure
Su Min and I drove for four days, from Chengdu to Yibin to Yunnan.
Along the way, Su Min tried her best to save costs, but she never paid the water bill in the service area, and most of the food was provided by herself.
Seeing his favorite souvenir in a beautiful place, he played for a long time but decided to put it down.
You can even find the cheapest way to take a bath: find a bathhouse on Dianping.com and buy a bathhouse for twelve dollars.
Before leaving, he had saved 20,000 yuan and spent 12,000 yuan on living expenses. Fortunately, the monthly pension of more than 2,000 yuan is still being issued. Now, he still has a card of more than ten thousand dollars, which he can't touch.
"The money left is limited, and I am afraid of something going wrong (I need it very much)."
He rarely takes toll roads because his ETC card is tied to his wife's bank card. As far as my husband knows, more than 100 yuan will be reprimanded.
He drove long distances, and when his wife filled her tank, he would transfer money to her.
Su Min told me that after more than thirty years of marriage, she found that her husband did not eat spicy, but liked fishing;
Knowing that he turns on the television and constantly switches between sports and news channels, and that he is most interested in the upcoming battle;
I knew he had heart disease, high blood pressure, and how many glasses of water he had won in table tennis, but I couldn't understand what was going on in his mind.
Often, the two seem to live in parallel worlds:
When I was young, I took my son shopping. mother and daughter first, husband behind;
After her daughter went to boarding school in high school, she slept in different rooms.
When he hears that his wife closes the door and leaves, he has the right to use the sofa and TV to watch his favorite series.
When her daughter graduated from college, got married, and had children, she had to live in the same house. Su Min and her husband just bought a mattress.
He slept upstairs and his wife downstairs. At night, they all put on headphones to play with their phones.
Clothes and shoes are always separated.
For a long time, Su Min even wanted to buy a curtain to separate the bed, but gave up because she was afraid that her daughter-in-law would think her home was too strange.
Back home, Su Min did not dare to speak more.
Since man's greatest pleasure is selectivity, his children and grandchildren must also be selective.
He kissed his grandson on the face, and his wife said the saliva was poisonous.
He teased Xiaobao and said, "The baby is so dark." His wife said, "How can you say that? ”
Black spots are normal.
"You can't say this, you can't say that." Su Min felt that his life situation was really unpleasant.
"You don't have freedom of speech in your own home." Su Min can even judge her situation based on her husband's expression:
His wife, who was not yet angry, looked him in the eye. The big eyes that once touched her on a blind date now scared her: "I'm afraid she'll hit me when she's angry." ”
Su Min said that when her husband was angry, he would drop things, hit people, and drive her away.
At worst, he gets angry and pulls his wrist. He could certainly hit her, but he hesitated and threw his wrist away.
The other party took it and hit him on the back, which hurt for days.
Su Min grew up in Tibet. He has a sincere personality and sometimes speaks without thinking.
In order not to be beaten, he rarely spoke in front of him.
"Living with them is stressful, stressful, stressful."
During Su Min's annual meeting, everyone ate in the restaurant. His wife suddenly opened the door and came in, pulled out a stool and sat down, and said to everyone:
"Sorry, he has a mental problem, and he is not allowed to participate in the class reunion in the future."
They just wanted to embarrass me and after my husband left bored, he apologized to everyone.
The classmates couldn't stand it anymore and said to him: "Go away, I'll help you find a better one." ”
Su Min smiled and did not answer.
Su Min always had a question in his heart.
One day, the two quarreled, and he couldn't help but ask his wife:
I'm not pretty, do you like me?
Sorry, this question has not been answered. M: Do you think you're handsome?
He also thought, is it because he has a girlfriend, his relationship with his wife is not good?
Two years before her marriage, Su Min had become a full-time mom when the fertilizer factory she worked for closed down.
In a dormitory in her husband's ward, three people slept on one bed.
But he soon discovered that his wife was good at math, and when he had to pay her monthly living expenses, he asked her to go where he had been last month to find money.
- Every purchase should be reasonable and reasonable.
Su Min thinks it's a kind of self-deprecation, shopping, cooking, laundry, cleaning, taking care of the family.
Isn't that enough?
Do you still have bills to pay your wife and children?
Unable to accept this "economic sanctions", he began to work part-time to earn money.
Over the years, he worked as a tailor, street sweeper, waiter, newspaper delivery man.
At first, she wanted to prove that she could earn money and earn her husband's respect.
"If you can't resist hard, you can only resist softly."
Unexpectedly, this was just the beginning, and the two soon became an official "AA system" marriage.
When her husband buys vegetables, she cooks them; When her husband buys vegetables, she cooks them. When her husband buys vegetables, she cooks. Every New Year's holiday, when visiting relatives and friends, I will buy gifts. Once, Su Min's mother fell ill and used her husband's medical insurance card to buy medicine, but the other party changed the password the next day.
Even the bride's wedding red envelope was sent repeatedly. The grandson also bought himself a birthday present. As a result, her husband did not respect her, and calculating and dividing money made the relationship between the two more estranged.
Su Min and her girlfriend's family have been neighbors for more than ten years, and they are often jealous of their marriage:
The man gives all the money he earns to his wife to buy clothes.
"He has a lot of clothes." Su Min said.
Sometimes two people go shopping together, buy clothes and go home, and the other party's husband brags, but my wife doesn't know that you bought new clothes for half a month.
If people don't have you in their hearts, they won't take you seriously.
For lunch during the trip, Su Min likes to eat spicy. Photo: Yin Shenglin
In 2019, Su Min was diagnosed with moderate depression.
The doctor told me that there are two blood vessels in the human brain, one is the "Yangtze River" and the other is the "Yellow River".
The front end of the Yellow River blood vessels is slightly blocked, the blood supply to the brain is insufficient, and there is often headache and dizziness.
Worst of all, she often cried uncontrollably at home and started taking depression medication.
Su Min felt that the previous questions were unanswered.
- She gave up and had no illusions about her husband.
Then he found that only his wife smelled "disgusting" and then found that everyone else had the same smell.
The same smell, unpleasant smell.
Marry a good wife
After driving hundreds of miles, Su Min dared to call her mother for the first time after leaving home.
He just said walking, not much.
My mother's concept is still stuck at the point of "everything will be fine when I go home". He always advised Su Min to live well. If you meet such a person, what will you do if you have children in the future? How can a child be neglected?
"My mom always said he was kind-hearted, just a little picky."
Su Min knew that in her mother's eyes, if her husband did not cheat and did not divorce, she felt that "life can continue."
He wouldn't tell his mom. After the age of thirty, she and her husband hardly lived together anymore.
Sometimes she feels guilty and complains to her mother, but her mother complains:
"I didn't ask you to marry me, nor did I ask you to find this. You have to find it, and you find it painful. ”
Su Min always felt that she had lived up to her mother's expectations and married a good husband.
A "good husband" is someone who has money, power, and can help the family.
Well, he thought, this wife was chosen by himself, and he really couldn't blame anyone else.
Before the age of 18, Su Min grew up in a Tibetan family until her father suddenly moved again.
The year after returning home, he worked as a laboratory technician at the fertilizer factory where his father worked.
At the age of 23, Su Min wanted to get married. Most of the girls in the factory got married before the age of twenty, and the children were more than one year old.
Slowly, he heard some rumors. Some say he came back from Tibet with a bright smile and a very picky face. More importantly, he wanted to escape his real family.
His mother disciplined him from an early age. Without permission, Su Min will not cut her hair without permission.
After I get off work, girls of the same age live in the dormitory. After work, they sang and played together, but my father told me to go home and live there, and I had to pick him up no matter what time it was.
Every month's salary has to be handed in - the younger sister's family does not have a job, and as the eldest sister, she has to contribute to the family.
In his view, marriage at that time was equivalent to "living independently", having its own family and being able to freely use its own time and money.
Soon she met her current husband through an intermediary in the factory.
They had only met twice before they got married.
Su Min left her parents' home as she wished and moved to the staff dormitory.
The freedom did not last long, and she became pregnant the same year they got married.
He did not expect that a husband with "vision" and a marriage that "fit" his standards would become his biggest shackles for decades to come.
We walked on mountain roads, through dark tunnels, the light only lasted for a long time, and we fell into darkness again.
Su Min suddenly laughed, with a hint of mockery. He said that this is how he married into his native family:
"From tunnel to tunnel."
But for his daughter, he will not accept a repeat of the tragedy.
My daughter's academic performance was a bit low when she was young. After graduating, he worked as a clerk. He got married at the age of 27, and he was never in a hurry, hoping that his daughter would be free.
Su Min also told her daughter to "find a good husband", but the meaning was completely different:
You should be kind to your daughter and think about her. It is better to have the opportunity to earn money. It doesn't matter if the family has money or not.
After her daughter became pregnant with twins, she resigned from her original unit and became a stay-at-home mom.
After giving birth, she was stressed, suffered from postpartum depression, and often blamed her son-in-law.
One day, the family went to work, left early in the morning, went to lunch in the evening, and returned home in the evening. The princess also said that the son-in-law did not see the children all day.
When it was his turn to watch, he sat down on the couch and started playing with his phone.
Su Min was nervous every time she saw her daughter angry.
"I just think you work all day and earn money to support your family, and if you don't get money in a day, why would you do it?"
Seeing his wife like this, he felt that all men were the same: "Afraid of getting angry, afraid of making money, afraid of being looked down upon." ”
Su Min always felt that her daughter's luck was unstable. In order to wait for her son to grow up, she urged her daughter to find a job so that she would no longer be dependent on men.
"I was a little scared, so I did everything I could to bathe him at home." Before leaving, he took all his son-in-law's shoes and cleaned them.
Stay at a gas station along the highway. Photo by Yin Shenglin
For the dignity of her daughter, she still needs to maintain a peaceful friendship with her son-in-law. When he cooks, he consciously asks two questions: What does your dad like to eat? Do you want to eat again today?
"Actually, I don't care." Su Min said.
I've been out for a long time, and my husband has never asked me anything.
If it is not necessary, the two people will not be in "direct contact" and will communicate in the family group if necessary.
Some time ago, my husband suddenly posted a group high-speed rail ticket. Su Min clicked and found himself back in his hometown.
Su Min was a little proud, "He drove my car when he returned to his hometown. "But now my husband can't drive anymore.
But she still couldn't help but send a WeChat message to her daughter:
What did your father do when he returned home?
It's all about money
After thirty years of lonely and depressing marriage, Su Min never decided to divorce.
At first, he stressed that if a daughter wants to have a complete family, she will not be humiliated by her parents when she gets married.
At the end of the conversation, he said it was the only reason he could put it on the table and be accepted.
In fact, they have a lot of realistic considerations.
In a sense, he has "nothing" in this house. The house belongs to his wife and the car to his daughter.
"Think about it, if you divorce and move, how much money do you need to find a house, can you live on that monthly salary?
What about the kids? Which house should I go back to? Aren't you causing trouble for your daughter?
Still struggling after divorce? Why bother?
As he left, he wondered if he could live a better and calmer life after this experience.
If you feel right, get a divorce; If you feel that you need each other, then let's go.
They believe that, after all, a complete family is a symbol of "justice."
I can't bear to build this family through my own fault and divide it because of my own fault. They gave up, at least I still had a full house.
Most importantly, "the aunt's most difficult period is over," he said. The hardest time of her life was working while taking care of her daughter.
Now that the children are old and life is better than when they were children, why can't they live?
Anyway, I bought my own car so I could travel on my own.
He argues that wives are based on the same practical considerations:
He now suffers from a variety of diseases, including high blood sugar, high blood pressure and heart disease. Who wants to be with him?
If you find a rural person, ask for money anyway. Where can I find someone like me who is willing to live AA with him? Ironically, the county's marriage records were lost years ago.
When I got married in the 80s of the 20th century, the Civil Affairs Bureau only kept books manually, and there was no electronic declaration.
If you want a divorce, you must apply for a new marriage certificate.
Only in the family side will two people let go of the "grudge" and look like relatives. In the event of a big event, the husband can still be trusted. After her father's death, she helped take care of him. In the past, he managed his retirement on his own and looked for connections to cope.
When asked about the beautiful moments in their marriage, Su Min sat for a long time, looking back in her mind about her life 23 years later. He thinks it happened thirty years ago.
After giving birth to her daughter, she went to her in-laws' house for confinement and could not eat too much meat.
I said, "You have a lot of chickens, but you didn't give them to me." I don't know what he was thinking, but he was right. I just told his mom to kill the chickens. ”。
At that time, my wife felt sorry for me. He made a special slingshot, knocked the chicken off the tree, and made soup.
The next marriage was not happy and depressing, and Su Min never thought of changing her husband.
When you meet someone who can talk, you can't end the conversation just by saying a few words. If your photo is taken well, you will think that he is handsome and nothing else.
She believes that everyone's marriage will have problems, and good love can only happen in TV series.
He saw "The Heirs" from "The Heirs" and Jin Dong from Wang Kai, and felt that the illusory story was the best.
There are a lot of blind dates now, but only people who are really dating, so I prefer people who are really dating.
Photo by Tengda Su Min/Yin Shenglin
It was getting late and we decided to spend the night in the motorway service area. The night in the south was foggy, and trucks were still driving by at three o'clock.
Su Min turned over and over in the tent and sat up abruptly, indicating that his chest was tight, and there was an indescribable feeling of falling.
After a while, I fell asleep under his fist, and I fell asleep with a stuffed monkey in my arms.
The doll was originally purchased by the daughter for her grandson. She loved it and put it on her top bunk. After coming out, he was worried that he would not be able to sleep at night, so he accepted it.
The next day, she told me that a few days earlier she had received a call from her sister asking for a refund.
After his father's death, he left tens of thousands of funeral expenses. He needed money and stole 25,000 yuan.
The third brother believes that he takes the most care of his father in this life, and all funeral expenses should be borne by him.
The other day, my sister heard from her best friend that she was going on a trip. He was so angry that he called her to make trouble and wanted to break up with her:
"You have the money to drive to travel, but you don't have the money to come back to me?"
Sumin is located in Shushan and Zhuhai. Photo: Yin Shenglin
Travel seems to be just a shift from one routine to another.
We met two retired male civil servants in Shushan, Zhuhai, and walked together. Not many middle-aged women like her to travel alone.
Someone else asked him: Why didn't your family come out?
Su Min climbed the stairs in front of him without looking back:
We play table tennis at home. We have different hobbies.
south
Before traveling by car, Su Min used travel novels to fill in the gaps in life. He would rather see Doctor travel through time. A person of unknown origin becomes a divine doctor in a different time and space, and can decide his own destiny.
The tone is cheerful. If he could travel through time, he would still be willing to get married, but he needed to find someone he liked.
"It's not like this life. At least I need to know if he's good for me. ”
In Su Min's memory, the closest time to love was when she was in high school.
The son of a father's friend wrote a love letter and put it in his textbook.
Su Min was startled when he saw it, and quickly ran to the office and handed it to the teacher. The boy was punished for this.
The other party was angry and ignored him.
"When he was punished, I was also scared and did not dare to look at him for a long time." Su Min said. After graduation, the two never contacted each other again.
Thirty years later, we meet again.
Many of his classmates gathered to drink, and he was one of them.
At that time, Su Min tried to help her daughter take the exam. Knowing that the boy had resources in Tibet, he casually asked if he could help.
The other party immediately agreed. He turned around and forgot about it, until six months later, when he received all the documents and documents sent by the boy.
"I thought he was just stopping by."
The hot pot on the table was filled with steam. He suddenly put down his chopsticks and asked me in a rude tone:
"Tell me, does he still like me?"
At first, Su Min thought that her husband was angry, but after a road trip, she actually felt sorry for him:
He managed to escape and gain freedom, but his wife's physical condition did not seem to allow him to act recklessly.
For the past two weeks, I have spent a few days in the hospital to recover.
He has a close relationship with his daughter. My daughter used to see him beating people when she was a child, but grew up estranged.
When he remembered that his wife turned on the TV and sat alone on the couch watching news channels, he was curious:
Maybe he didn't like it that much? But when playing football or fishing, do you need to have a common topic with others?
However, he felt that he was no longer important. Too much time was wasted and both sides lost.
This time, Su Min intends to "live a good life for himself." Even if he had millions, or could choose to remarry, he didn't want to worry anymore.
This was the most liberating period - to get rid of the burden of motherhood.
No intimacy, no more comfort – even happier than the "second freedom":
When he was young, he and his friends in Tibet went to the valley to pick wild fruits, which were high and high. If you come back from dinner and have nothing to do, you can play a few more rounds of "hopscotch".
Su Min posted this travel video on the short video platform and forwarded it, instantly gaining thousands of fans.
He later found that the video coincided with a hot topic: some middle-aged and elderly people were involved in the "fake Jin Dong" scam, and everyone suddenly became interested in love.
More than one woman left him a message:
I really envy that you can still drive. Even if we wanted to go out, we didn't have a choice.
They are scattered in Chinese towns. She is someone else's wife, mother and daughter. He couldn't escape and could only keep going.
When we said goodbye to the ancient city of Zhaotong in Yunnan, Su Min warned me to be careful about my feelings:
"Don't choose irresponsible love like your aunt."
When he said something lovely, he was immediately stunned, and his eyes lost focus.
"No, it's not love," she corrected herself, "it's just marriage." ”
Next, he wants to go to Kunming, then Lijiang and Dali, where he can camp in Erhai and fall asleep listening to birdsong.
Finally, I went to Hainan for the New Year.
The son-in-law originally wanted him to go home before the New Year, but Su Min "didn't want to work for everyone anymore."
They do not consider return dates or the future. The only thing he was sure of was the direction:
He wanted to drive Little Polo all the way to the warm South.
Source: Auspicious Studio, Snack Bar