A reader in the background said in a private message: My due date is in November, and my mother-in-law wants to find a "blessed person" from her hometown to "step on" the child, but she has a serious cleanliness fetish, and she doesn't like strangers to come to the house, so she is very resistant, so the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very unpleasant recently. What should she do if she asks for help?
I have indeed heard that in many places in the north, there is a custom of "stepping on life". In these places, it is believed that whoever picks up the child first after birth will have the baby's personality and luck in the future.
Generally, when the expectant mother is pushed into the delivery room, the family will invite a "blessed person" to wait with her, and let this person complete the "first hug" after the birth of the child.
This fan's mother-in-law is looking for such a "stepper", and it is said that the "Fukuzawa Man" chosen by her mother-in-law is over 70 years old. This old man has 3 children, her family is not only prosperous, the children are also very contentious, her 3 children have been admitted to key universities from small places, and they have all stayed in big cities, and the key ones are still very filial, so the old man has always been a famous "person with deep blessings" in their village.
The netizen said that in her husband's hometown, many people who gave birth to children would call this old man a "stepping on the raw person" in the past. Now that they have arrived at their home, it is about their grandson, and even if they are thousands of miles away, their mother-in-law wants to be blessed.
But the expectant mother, who has received an elite education all the way, feels ridiculous, she does not understand what age it is, how can anyone still associate fate with such a "mysterious" thing?
What she couldn't understand even more was that the other party was more than 70 years old, in case something happened on the way here, who could be responsible?
Besides, how is the other party's health? What about personal hygiene? She can't even know that the newborn child has weak resistance, who can guarantee that there will be no problems?
After thinking about it for a while, I can actually understand the concerns of this expectant mother. Give the newborn child to a strange old man, the other party's physical condition is completely unknown, which mother will not worry in her heart?
Therefore, when the fan asked what to do, I still suggested that she had better convince her mother-in-law, after all, the child was born with almost no self-resistance, and the requirements for taking care of people were still relatively high. But if the elderly have to insist, they must also ask about the health status of the other party.
3 types of people want to hold children, no matter how good the relationship is, they must refuse!
If the other party wants to hold the child, but there are the following three situations, even if you tear your face, you must refuse:
The first: people who do not pay attention to personal hygiene
Most young people rarely have hygiene problems, but a small number of elders tend to neglect personal hygiene issues. For example: some elderly people go out for a circle and hold their children without washing their hands when they come back; There are also some elderly people who like children too much and kiss them when they hold them;
They don't understand why they wash their hands before holding their children, why they don't let them get close to their children? Sometimes it is even felt that young people dislike them.
As everyone knows, people with poor personal hygiene are basically bacterial petri dishes that can walk, and no one can guarantee how many viruses they encounter outside.
And the newborn child is resistant and fragile, and what we parents can do is to exclude "possible bacterial exposure".
So if there are some people with poor personal hygiene awareness who want to hold the child, don't be afraid to tear their faces, must learn to refuse, and remind them: the child has poor resistance at birth, trouble to solve the hygiene problem first!
Second: People who are sick or carry the virus
Before the child 6 months ago, the immunity to the outside world basically comes from the mother, and their ability to resist external risks on their own is still very low, so the family should also be vigilant for those who are sick or have just recovered and want to hold the child.
Because these two types of people will inevitably carry some viruses, once the antibodies in the child's body are ineffective against these viruses, it is a huge challenge for the child.
For example, some very common viral infections (such as influenza, colds, etc.), although not very harmful to adults, but easy to cause serious complications and even death to newborn children.
Therefore, if the person holding the baby is at risk of potential disease, parents still need to intervene and advise them to wait until they recover before contacting the baby.
It is also recommended that people who are unwell should consciously stay away from their children as much as possible and not give the virus an opportunity.
The third: people who smoke regularly
When burned, smoke releases 38 toxic substances including nicotine, tar, carbon monoxide, aldehydes, nitride and so on. People who smoke for a long time will inevitably get these harmful substances on their clothing.
The harm of second-hand smoke has long been proven, when holding a child, harmful substances will enter the child's respiratory system with contact, and the respiratory system of infants and young children will be more sensitive than adults, and long-term exposure to second-hand smoke will increase the risk of sudden asthma, pneumonia and other respiratory diseases.
Statistics show that the proportion of mainland men smoking is as high as 50.5%, which means that half of the men may have a smoking addiction. So when these people want to hold children, families should also pay more attention.
For young babies, those who have just finished smoking and smell of smoke want to hold the child, even close parents must refuse. After all, the baby's respiratory system is not perfect, and the body is still very fragile, so parents can only say: everything for the baby, please forgive me.
What else to pay attention to when holding a newborn child?
After the baby is born, parents carefully choose the first person to hold the baby, not only superstition, but also for the health of the child.
In fact, in addition to who is the first to hold a newborn, there are some points that need to be paid attention to, and it is also worth paying attention to by new parents.
First, protect the cervical spine
Newborn babies are like a small ball of meat, they will not work their own, they cannot support their head, so be sure to support their neck and head when holding the baby:
- Hand support: Use your left hand to support your baby's back, neck and head, and your right hand to support your buttocks and waist. Hand support is used to lift and lower your baby from bed.
- Wrist holding: Place your baby's head in the crook of your left arm, your elbows to protect your baby's head, your left wrist and left hand to protect your back and waist, your right forearm to support your baby's legs, and your right hand to support your baby's buttocks and waist.
Of course, it should be noted that it is best not to hold newborns vertically. Vertical hugging will make the weight of the child's head all press on the cervical spine, which is a kind of injury for the baby whose cervical spine has not yet developed;
Of course, it is also recommended not to hold for a long time, let the child lie more and crawl more is more conducive to the child's development.
Second, don't hold it just after eating
Many parents have a natural closeness to their newborn children and always want to hug them.
But you know what? When the child is born, the gastrointestinal function is still very fragile, and the children's stomach and cardia muscles are relatively loose physically, but the pyloric muscles are very tight.
As a result, if the child is picked up just after eating, the food eaten can easily overflow from the cardia, causing vomiting.
Therefore, after the newborn has just finished drinking milk, it is recommended not to pick it up immediately, you can first put the child to lie down reclining to help the child unblock the stomach and let the milk digest.
Finally, interact with your child more when holding it
Babies born from their mothers are actually very sensitive to their surroundings, so it is recommended that mothers interact with them more when holding them.
For example, gently saying words such as "mother hugs", "baby is well-behaved" and so on will give the baby a lot of security.
In addition, it is also recommended that when mothers hold their children, they hold the baby's head on the left, which helps the child clearly feel the mother's heartbeat, because the baby is used to listening to the mother's heartbeat in the mother's body, and hearing such a familiar sound after birth will produce a sense of intimacy and make it easier to adapt to this situation, so that the baby's emotions can calm down.
You see, holding a baby is not simply a matter of holding it, and a child is not something that anyone can hold casually. There are actually a lot of things we need to pay attention to as parents, have you got it?