Retrace the lens: "magical" nausea, wanting to vomit, stomach pain
Shortly after the start of the new semester in September last year, a mother brought her child to the outpatient consultation of the psychology department of Xinhua Hospital, the child was fine last semester, and signed up for a swimming class during the summer vacation.
The mother thought it was caused by her child drinking unclean water from the pool, so she didn't go to swimming lessons. However, after the start of school, the child was nauseous and wanted to vomit as soon as he went to school, and took him to the hospital for a digestive system examination, but nothing abnormal was found. When you get home, the child watches TV and plays with the computer, just rest for a while.
If parents force their children to go to school, the child will cry at the school gate, saying that his stomach is particularly uncomfortable, and parents have no choice but to take the child home, and once home, the uncomfortable symptoms magically disappear.
Beware of "school start syndrome"
In the opinion of psychologists in Xinhua Hospital
Such situations are not uncommon!
Generally speaking, children may have difficulty readjusting to the environment with a strong sense of rules due to their more free work and rest and looser management during the summer vacation.
Taking swimming lessons or returning to school, in a stricter environment, this discomfort brings stress and bad emotions that children are difficult to realize, and sometimes manifests themselves in the form of physical discomfort, which may be nausea and vomiting, or dizziness, headache, palpitation, shortness of breath, stomach pain, etc.
Children are less flexible than adults in adapting to changes in their routines. That is, children's flexible transformation and adaptability are still developing.
I don't know if parents have found that some children will have a difficult time entering the state when they suddenly resume the rhythm of school after a long vacation, such as winter vacation and summer vacation. In fact, it is not difficult to understand that this is the "school start syndrome", and those "magical" nausea, wanting to vomit, and stomachache are the child's red stress "alarm" signals.
September 1st, the new semester is about to usher in, the school season, how to let children really "happy" to go to school?
Xinhuajun invited psychological experts to support, on the one hand, to help the child adjust his state and set goals for the new semester; On the other hand, you should also pay attention to helping your child de-stress and have a good chat with your child before school starts.
1. Set the goals for this school year: Many people like new year and new resolutions, in fact, any kind of hard work does not have to be in the new year, but can also be at the beginning of the new school year. So the new semester started, and we set a suitable goal.
For example, recall where the main academic difficulties of children last year were. Then all the adults, including the children, discuss which one is the most important or critical, and then set it as a goal to overcome this school year. In addition to reviewing difficulties, remember to review your child's strengths during the previous school year to encourage your child to continue and continue in the new school year.
2. Establish organization with your child: Take your child to a stationery store to see what aids are needed in order to better organize things this school year. For example, different color file bags, book covers, file folders, label paper, markers, etc.
The choice of sorting, labeling, and organizing tools should be suitable for their child's level of complexity and difficulty, and can help him organize and manage his school belongings independently.
If you're not sure, try it out to see which tool or method works better.
3. Plan this semester's after-school activities with your child: How to plan your child's after-school time in advance for this semester? Discuss with other adults, especially about your child's interests.
You know, many after-school activities are beneficial to children's attention. For example, should you add sports, swimming or dancing? Do you want to further develop your child's hobbies, drawing or playing the piano? Do you want to take your child to some concentration or executive training program?
These activities have different schedules, so plan them well in advance to better organize your child's time. It is necessary to be colorful and balanced, so as not to get too tired for the child.
4. Let the child observe you make a family calendar: demonstrate to the child how to anticipate upcoming events and how to plan and arrange, which not only shows the child the ability to plan, but also informs the child of some pre-arranged things in advance, and the possibility of the child to cooperate will be higher.
These arrangements include longer-term ones, such as "if you reach the goal we set this semester, we will consider going to Hong Kong during the winter vacation", as well as medium-term ones, such as going to Xinhua Hospital every Saturday morning to attend an attention training camp starting in October, and the immediate "we have to do some preparation before school starts".
In addition to taking the child to do some practical tasks to prepare, it is also excellent for parents to sit down with their children and chat with their children to have free time before school starts. No matter how old the child is, talk about it in a way they can understand.
If the child has some difficulties in school, such as difficulty maintaining concentration, small movements, easy to provoke small friends, then whether it is the teacher-student relationship or the peer relationship, it may make the child feel frustrated, thus affecting his self-esteem.
Although on the one hand it is necessary to emphasize the importance of rules, its behavior and academic performance should strive to meet the standards of most students. But don't let your child feel out of place because of a temporary, lack of achievement in certain aspects.
Therefore, emphasize his strengths to the child, such as children who like iQue too vain, maybe have a lot of ideas, will give birth to a lot of creative new ideas, and are curious and willing to accept new things. Active children are more energetic and may have certain strengths in sports.
Children are enthusiastic in their hearts and want to deal well with their friends, and this willingness to establish a good partnership is also appreciated.
Your child may need your help to identify which classmates are more likely to develop good partnerships with them. This is not to interfere with children's friendship. For example, you can let your child describe his impressions or opinions about the classmates, and then you have a general understanding of the personality, preferences and other characteristics of the child's classmates.
Some students may appreciate the child's temperament, and with these classmates, the child feels that he is accepted and recognized, which is more conducive to developing a partnership. But in the process, children still need to be encouraged to develop self-control and develop boundaries of social skills.
There are also some students who may have an aura of concentration and calm, if the relationship between these classmates and children is good, encourage them to get along more, and the child can also hear the power of concentration and calm from the peer relationship.
Many children see teachers as their enemies, bring endless homework, and have nitpicking requirements for learning. Therefore, there is a fear of the teacher, and I have to obey, but I am unwilling or even disdainful.
On the one hand, we must teach children to respect the teacher, and try to discover what are the strengths and abilities of the teacher as a person who deserve our respect? For example, the English teacher's board book is particularly beautiful, the Chinese teacher's recitation is particularly generous, and the math teacher is particularly good at singing and dancing.
On the other hand, we must guide children to cooperate with teachers, teachers are not enemies, knowledge difficulties that we have not yet mastered are enemies, teachers and students are standing on the same front to overcome difficulties together.
If the child can think like this, "Teacher, she is quite strict, but she is also very cool, and I can still count on her when I get stuck." "That's great.
Helping your child prepare for the new semester is definitely not a single parent's task, so talk to your spouse. In the new school year, the child's class schedule and after-school activities may change. Communicate with your spouse in advance about the timing of both parties. Who picks up and drop-off on which day, who accompanies which activity, and who is mainly responsible for communication with the teacher?
In addition, also communicate with the spouse about the child's situation, try to unify the opinion, which of the child's performance is indeed a problem that needs to be changed, which problems are the top priority, and what to do specifically to help the child's development. Remember, the same opinion of both of you, the same attitude towards the child, is the basis for achieving the best results.
Talk to the adults in your family
It is important to remember that adults who get along with children can adopt consistent attitudes and requirements for children, and behavior management can be effective and work together to help children develop better.
The incooperation of just one person is also likely to negate the efforts of multiple others. Perhaps some adults do not yet understand the difficulties that children suffer, such as difficulty concentrating, sitting still, and remembering what they have learned. Let your child describe his experience and how he needs help.
You know, maybe other adults won't agree because of your opinion, but they may agree with your approach in order to help your child.
Talk to yourself
Pick a free time, find a quiet corner, and talk to yourself in a comfortable position.
In the past semester, what knowledge and skills have you learned for children to promote child development, help concentration, and help behavioral self-control?
What academic difficulties did you and your child experience this past semester? How did you overcome this together? What obstacles are in front of you that prevent children from achieving better academically? Do you know the answer to how these obstacles can be solved? If you don't know, where to look for answers?
What new challenges may children encounter in the upcoming school year? When and what should you do to help your child better cope with these challenges? What tips and strategies are likely to continue to work for you and your child in the new semester? Or what adjustments are needed? To help children be calmer and more focused?
Talk to your teacher If there is a back-to-school day before school starts, you can also try to talk to the teacher. Especially when the teacher is new to the child's class, it is recommended to meet the teacher in advance. Introduce the characteristics of the child to the teacher, including advantages and disadvantages.
Regarding the advantages, objectively report what the child may do better, and the teacher can consider discretionary arrangements, which will promote the child's self-esteem. For example, you can tell the teacher that your child has a lot of ideas, is willing to try new activities, and has a good sense of humor. If there are activities or tasks after school to make use of these strengths, I believe that the child is extremely happy and will bring great joy to the child.
Regarding the shortcomings, what kind of help do you hope the teacher will give, or summarize which tricks are better based on your past experience, and share them with the teacher.
For example, when a child is in a self-study class, if there is no close supervision from the teacher, it is easy to be influenced by others, and the whispers or small actions of other classmates will affect him. He will involuntarily pay attention to the movements of other students, and delay the task at hand. In this case, it may be better to put him in a relatively quiet seat, away from doors and windows. Now that the Internet is very developed, if it is difficult to achieve such communication with teachers face-to-face, it can also be done through email, WeChat and other means.
Some parents do not know what to say or do except nag their children to study and supervise homework.
In fact, communication is very important in addition to learning! Don't let your child have chronic tiredness, don't start tired of school before school starts, and don't alienate your child from their parents and have nothing to say because of learning.
However, if the child does always procrastinate and be inefficient, don't take it lightly, or come to the psychological clinic before school starts!
Friendly reminder: Xinhua Psychology's concentration/self-control and emotion management training courses are mostly scheduled on Friday afternoon or Saturday morning, and the specific situation needs to be registered for an appointment in the outpatient clinic.
Please click on the link for outpatient appointments
☞ : Clinical Psychology Clinic