I watch "Fengsheng": parenting has a way, good and evil are teaching, independent thinking and cultivation

Written on the front:

I don't know if everyone went to see "Fengshen "?

What attracted me the most about the film was the display of the relationship between multiple fathers and sons.

Through the processing of details and the comparison of the languages of different characters, I saw what education should look like, saw the benign possibility of parent-child relationship, and also saw the important role of autonomy and thinking ability.

I saw the education received by Bo Yi Kao Ji Fa and Ji Chang, who treated them as independent living beings; I also saw Yin Shou's jealousy and wariness of Yin Jiao.

Similarly, the different choices of the protons also showed me Ji Fa's ability to think - which is also the key to his final breakthrough.

This article only analyzes the personalities of the characters in the play, as well as discusses parent-child parenting, and does not involve any discussion of the cast and crew.

The full text has a total of 5872 words and a reading time of 15 minutes

Education is important, and leading by example is even more important

Whether it is good or evil depends on how it is taught.

When Xi Bohou saw Lei Zhenzi in the grass, Nezha Yang Jian advised Xi Bohou to be careful, because Lei Zhenzi was a deputy monster. Instead, Xi Bohou held Lei Zhenzi in his arms and said the above words: "Whether it is good or evil depends on how it is taught." ”

Subsequently, Jiang Ziya and Yang Jian sent Lei Zhenzi to Kunlun Mountain.

At the end of the film, we can also see Lei Zhenzi, who returned from cultivation, saving Xi Bohou from danger. Lei Zhenzi's face is still scary, but his behavior is very warm.

(Image from official media platform)

The dispute between sexual evil and sexual good has been going on for a long time, so let's put it aside. Sexual evil does not mean that we can do nothing, and sexual goodness does not mean that children can keep it forever. It is more likely that human nature is complex and that acquired development is determined by a combination of factors.

No matter how we understand human nature, it is predetermined, and we are powerless to change; And the day after tomorrow is uncertain, there is still a lot we can do.

Most families invest a lot in their children's education, indicating that "believing in the role of education" is a consensus.

We can't just let children learn and improve themselves, but in the process of parenting, we parents must first continue to learn what kind of education can produce good results.

The story of wolf children is widely spread, and children who leave human society and let wolves raise them, even if they return to human society later, it is very difficult to learn to walk, and as for speaking, they can only learn sporadic words.

This not only shows the importance of the environment and education, but also reminds us to pay attention to children's early education.

For example, language learning, if you miss a certain stage, there is almost no chance. Although many ideas and habits still have the opportunity to be revised in the later stage, the early influence is still important.

Like a blank piece of paper, the first color will become the base color, and the rest of the later colors, no matter how colorful, cannot erase the base color.

The background of a child's life depends on how parents draw it.

(Image from official media platform)

Corresponding to Xi Bohou's collection of thunder Zhenzi, Yin Shou met Daji, but the situation was very different.

Daji sensed Yin Shou's ambition and said to Yin Shou, "You want to be the king of the whole world." ”

Daji, who was grateful to Yin Shou for saving his life, first helped Yin Shou possess Yin Qi and assassinate the first king Di Xin, so that Yin Shou could ascend the throne.

His son Yin Jiao questioned that Daji was a demon fox, but Yin Shou did not listen. Even if Bi Gan let Daji eat his seven exquisite hearts, and the demon fox appeared, Yin Shou said:

"You all say that the white fox is a demon, and she is obviously Xiangrui. Only she knows what I want. ”

From this point of view, it is not Daji who seduces Yin Shou, but Daji appears in accordance with Yin Shou.

An interesting hypothesis can be made, if Lei Zhenzi meets Yin Shou and Daji meets Xi Bohou, how should things be reversed?

At the beginning of the film, Yin Shou led the Proton Brigade to attack Su Hu. Under Yin Shou's deception, Su Quanxiao chose to cut himself to stimulate Su Hu and boost his own morale.

The horse did not dare to advance because he was afraid of fire, and Yin Shou told his subordinates:

"What a horse sees is decided by man."

He then ordered his subordinates to cover the horse's eyes with a red cloth, and the horse continued to move forward in the flames.

Ji Fa defended Yin Shou in the conflict with Ji Chang, and mentioned that he had seen many things with his own eyes, and Ji Chang reminded:

"What you see is what he wants you to see."

I don't know if Ji Fa thought of the horse blindfolded by the strip of cloth when he heard this.

Invisible, does not mean non-existent.

Horses can't see fire, but they can still be burned by fire. It's just that these horses are so similar to protons, and they "go to the soup and do whatever they want" in Yin Shou's deception.

Think about our own lives, if we encounter someone similar to Yin Shou, who has authority and status, but is not right-minded, the child's cognition does not know how to be distorted. Even if you are fortunate enough to wake up later, it may be difficult to believe anything and fall into another pain.

Yin Shou wants the protons to be used willingly under his control, even if it costs his life; Ji Chang wants his children to be safe and live his life.

Look, the results of different people's guided education can be described as very different.

It is true that there are differences in children's talents, but children are also highly malleable.

Imitation is a human instinct, and it can be said that parents largely shape their children's early three views.

"Lead by example" is not an empty phrase. When you blame children for losing their temper, looking at their phones, and doing things impetuously... When you look at yourself, the child is the parent's own mirror.

Acquired education is a transformation agent that can guide children on different paths; Acquired education is also a catalyst that can firm the path that children want to take.

(Image from official media platform)

Ji Chang's words made Ji Fa wake up a little and brought Ji Fa the opportunity to change.

Ji Fa finally passed through the deception of Yin Shou's language, understood his personality in Yin Shou's behavior, and stood on the opposite side of Yin Shou.

Therefore, in acquired education, behavior occupies a greater role than language.

For example, my junior brother in elementary school needs to preview his homework and memorize texts in advance.

In the morning, he was very distressed to carry it, and cried because his parents said mocking words.

(The printed text is in the hands of the younger brother for a day, from flat to crease and crack.) This "work of art" continues to advance in the hands of the younger brother. I quipped that this is a piece of contemporary art, which can be named "traces of disgust of the back", and the creases flow with grievances that the younger brother dares not speak. ）

The grievance of the little brother is, why am I endorsing and you are playing with your mobile phone?

Parents will remind their children to learn, but parents should not be expected to play with their mobile phones while letting their children learn.

Parents who emphasize the importance of learning do not lead by example, and the integration of knowledge and action will exacerbate their boredom with learning in their children.

In the evening, I saw that he still did not memorize it, first let him listen to me read it with feelings, first set the standard, and then let him read it ten times. While he was reading, I was writing on the side, and I could hear him reading with emotion.

Because of the emotional investment, the whole recitation process will not be so boring.

There are also examples of this in the film.

Bo Yi Kao is very gentle, and it can be seen that he was influenced by Xi Bohou. Xibohou was able to guide not only in language, but also in behavior.

In the wheat fields of Xiqi, Xibohou is not not unagricultural, but also goes to the field to see the growth of wheat. Presumably, these actions of leading by example have invisibly cultivated the temperament of Bo Yi Kao.

Therefore, the teaching as I understand it is to grow with children and educate them with actions, not just words.

Make your own choice and break free from existing shackles

Conform to the family of origin

It doesn't matter who your child is, it doesn't matter who you are.

When Ji Fa fell into the confusion of who was his father, Xi Bohou said the above words.

In the temple of Delphi, there is a stone tablet that reads "Know thyself".

Knowing yourself is very important, and knowing yourself is also very difficult.

In recent years, the term family of origin has appeared so frequently.

Childhood experiences and parents' education will undoubtedly have an indelible impact on us, but we must not think that we can only be trapped in deep difficulties because of our original family.

Yin Shou's thirst for power and rebellion against the family were not for nothing. As the youngest son, he was not recognized by his father, and he fought abroad, while Di Xin's eldest son, Yin Qi, was comfortable and happy in the public. Even if Yin Shou returned from the battle, Di Xin did not pay too much attention to him, but only paid attention to Yin Qi dancing the sword for him at the celebration banquet.

Seeing Yin Qi's sword dancing Di Xin laughing and praising it, Yin Shou would think: Why is the person dancing the sword not himself, why is it not himself who is praised, why is the world he fought everywhere not his own?

This also has the scene where Yin Shou destroys all the ancestral tokens in the ancestral hall.

So, let's look at Ji Fa again.

In the part where Yin Shou asks the four protons to kill their biological father, the protons face the same thing, but have different reactions.

Chongying Biao, the son of Bei Bohou, directly killed his father after being patted on the shoulder by Yin Shou;

Eshun, the son of Nan Bohou, did not listen to Yin Shou's words, and instead killed Yin Shou, but was killed without success;

Jiang Wenhuan, the son of Dongbohou, did not know what decision to make for a while, and his father directly answered his sword for the sake of his child's life, and he knelt beside his father's corpse and wept bitterly;

Ji Fa, the son of Xibohou, made the final decision, and he pleaded with Yin Shou, saying that he would have to wait for Ji Chang to confess his guilt before he could be killed, and Ji Chang was imprisoned and survived.

Ji Fa's reaction here is very commendable, judging from the fact that he saved both himself and his father.

He did not intensify the conflict, did not kill his father or assassinate Yin Shou, but used words to ease up the matter first.

He calmly analyzed the situation, seeing himself as a master of destiny rather than a submissive.

From this moment on, he chose to become a hero instead of being trapped in Yin Shou's language.

Different choices, different paths, different lives.

Protons' reactions also tell us that the environment does shape people, but beyond the environment, human autonomy is also worth affirming.

Chongying Biao saw Yin Shou's death at the end of the film and shouted, "Everyone listens to my Northern Bohou." ”

He is very similar to Yin Shou and is despised by the family, so he is very hungry for power.

And Jiang Wenhuan's character is also reflected again at the end, when he chooses to let Ji Fa go while guarding the city gate, and decides to fight against Yin Shang.

What kind of internal drive you have, you will do what kind of things.

So how to develop children's autonomy?

The key is to lead by example. For example, if parents have the habit of running, children will easily participate in running. In addition to running, it is more important for children to feel self-driven happiness, which in turn forms a virtuous circle.

In addition, there is no single solution to the problem for children to realize.

For example, children can brainstorm, think of different solutions, and compare the advantages and disadvantages; Encourage children to communicate with others more and see how others will deal with the same thing; Try to provide open-ended questions to get your child to think freely.

Of course, some support is necessary to give the child room for trial and error.

Critical thinking as an important part of the ability to think, a review of the literature shows that some scholars in the last century defined:

"Critical thinking is purposeful, self-calibrating judgment. This judgment is expressed in the form of interpretation, analysis, evaluation, inference, and an explanation of the evidence, concept, method, criterion, or context in which the judgment is based. ”

(Image from official media platform)

The above definition sounds a bit abstract, let's take a look at it in conjunction with the movie.

Yin Shou is very good at grasping the psychology of protons, repeatedly mentioning that they are abandoned children, and inspiring their hatred for their biological father. Such words are very lethal to protons.

Su Quanxiao died in this way "righteousness and awe".

But the protons believed Yin Shou's words to varying degrees.

Ji Fa is one of them, he is also thinking dialectically while saying the words to protect Yin Shou, and insists on doing what he wants, he will question and will not be gullible.

In other words, Yin Shou's words were not his single source of information. When Ji Chang said something to him, although he resisted, he still listened, so he was ordered to hunt down Ji Chang and let Ji Chang leave, and at the same time decided to rebel against Yin Shou.

Ji Fa is always perceiving, thinking, and looking for the truth in abnormal things, he will not adhere to inherent cognition, but will combine diverse information to judge things, and calibrate cognition on this basis.

Compared with Ji Fa, Yin Jiao's thinking ability is slightly lacking (of course, this is related to Yin Jiao's identity, he is Yin Shou's only son in the film, and his worship and trust in his father is simple and passionate).

When he learned that Yin Shou needed to sacrifice himself to quell the Heavenly Tribulation, Yin Jiao was very "clever" to think of letting Yin Shou pass on the throne to him, and then he sacrificed it on his behalf. But such a loyal act was met with suspicion by Yin Shou. Empress Dowager Jiang's exhortation afterwards did not have much effect.

When he found out that Daji was a nine-tailed fox, his first thought was to kill him and protect his father's safety. But his actions obviously have great hidden dangers, Yin Shou is already suspicious by nature, coupled with Daji's words and previous events, it is even more difficult for him to protect himself.

It wasn't until he saw his father say with his own eyes, "You all say that the white fox is a demon, and she is obviously Xiangrui", that he reacted that everything was not because of Daji, but the reason for Yin Shou.

Of course, Yin Shou's role in this movie is positioned as a sincere and sincere person. We can also see that "naïve" and "pure" are sometimes a double-edged sword.

As a parent, you can reflect: when we see a certain outstanding quality of the child, do not blindly pursue or accuse, any quality has two sides, parental guidance is the most important, remember that acquired education is the most important.

Thinking is not difficult

Starting with the little things is key

He also wants to save his father, why is Yin Jiao, who is willing to sacrifice, different from the situation of Bo Yi Kao?

Because the people they have to save are different.

If Yin Jiao had been able to judge his father's personality earlier, he would not have made such a rash move, and he was even beheaded by his father because he wanted to save his father.

Yin Jiao forgot to gather information during the radical action, and also forgot to listen to others or consult with others.

Action is important, but thinking before action is essential.

Having the ability to think critically not only allows us to think critically, but also makes our minds more open. It can prompt us to understand the world in many ways, and get as close to the truth as possible.

The only constant in the world is change.

Combined with the three understandings of "easy" in the I Ching, that is, not easy, simple and easy, the ability to think requires us to simplify things that change, complex situations, grasp the key, and know that the law does not change, but because of different conditions, things are different.

So how to cultivate children's critical thinking ability?

The key point is not to let your own limitations limit your child.

Children are often perfect in the eyes of parents, this "perfection" is actually for parents, for parents, my children may not have infinite possibilities, but my children can carry the unfinished dreams of parents.

But in reality, children can see the bigger world.

Parents, do not impose your regrets on your children, first put yourself down and slowly provide more information to your children.

In other words, let children read in a variety of ways. Wan Wei, principal of Shanghai Pinghe Bilingual School, proposed in his book "Education Has Only One Theme" that if only two subjects were compulsory, he would choose physical education and reading.

"How to Read a Book" provides practical ways to guide children to learn to use it.

The book mentions active reading, that is, reading is regarded as communication rather than passive reception of information;

It is mentioned that there are levels to distinguish reading, i.e. basic reading, inspection reading and thematic reading. Basic reading is to obtain information, review reading is to exercise logic, and thematic reading is to integrate information and solve problems;

It was mentioned that different reading methods are required for different types of books, such as reading novels quickly and fully engaged, and entering the world of novels.

The point of reading a philosophy book is to find a problem, or to find the question that the book wants to answer.

You can start some small debate competitions at home, not for winning or losing, but just to get your child engaged in the debate.

In terms of theme, choose the one that is discussed and closely related to the child, such as "whether homework is necessary"; Before the debate begins, allow the child to consult the information and make adequate preparations; After the debate, record the whole process, give feedback to the child, and review it later; It is even possible to let the child stand on the opposite point of view to debate.

At the same time, in the face of the overwhelming online information, take children to analyze and judge what information is credible and what information is full of bias, just to output emotions. Appropriately expose children to rebuttals, both to state the other party's point of view before wanting to refute and show that they have understood, rather than simply refuting for the sake of rebuttal. After children understand the refutation, they will find articles with such tones.

Over time, children will gradually be able to discern valuable information.

It may not sound easy to do more, but to restore it: education is everywhere, there is no need to deliberately look for opportunities, because every moment with children is an opportunity, do not force preaching, children need easy and equal chat.

For example, the kid who watched "Fengsheng" with me. After reading it, I communicated with him in passing. It doesn't have to be said that there are any questions prepared in advance, but it is natural to talk about it around the movie. Maybe the child can't say why, but the plot is well remembered, maybe he will talk to his classmates when he gets to school.

As for me, I may say a little deeper, and I don't care much about how much the child understands, just listen and play, and the fun will pass.

Having an atmosphere is a good memory.

And in such an inadvertent process, the emotional connection with the child is naturally close. With an emotional connection, talking about something else, it's good to go on. Not limited to movies, books, travel, imaginative conversations, can achieve this.

There is no end to the shelf, but the effect of education is naturally achieved.

What really affects children's three views are those seemingly inconspicuous times, such as the stories that children listen to when they are young, which will have a big impact on them.

Moisturizing things are silent, and education is natural.