How can I activate my child's power to go up? Olympic champion Tao Luna gave advice on "anti-fragile" parenting

How to help children cope with the current uncertainty and improve their "resilience"? Olympic champions combine strong pressure resistance, self-regulation ability, and strong execution, and we may be able to get a glimpse of them in them. The Bund Jun also started a conversation with shooting champion Tao Luna, and her strong endogenous power gave us a different inspiration.

Wen 丨 Zhuang Xiao Editor丨 May

Photo courtesy of Luna Tao

The more uncertain times we are, the more pressure comes to each of us. But in the fight against stress, our children seem to be becoming more and more vulnerable and life is becoming more and more difficult.

In the face of an increasingly competitive future, how can we help children jump out of the whirlpool of pressure and stimulate the power to go back to the river?

Perhaps, we can find a higher-dimensional way to cope from the field. In particular, shooting sports that place great emphasis on the self-regulation ability and psychological stability of athletes.

The "sharpshooters" need to withstand the overwhelming pressure in the rapid rotation of each ring of bullets and steadily exert their strength. Once there is any psychological fluctuation, it is easy for them to give up halfway in the arena or lose a little bit of success.

At the recently held "Huaxia Fund 2023 Harvard Summer Camp", Bund Jun exclusively interviewed Sydney Olympic shooting champion Tao Luna.

From her narration, the Bund Jun seemed to see a galloping bullet, which shattered 18 years of anxiety, frustration and pain, and finally successfully hit the bull's-eye of life.

"I've only won an Olympic gold medal once in my life, but I've failed countless times," she said. It is often said that tragedies are moving. In my athletic career, those 'tragedies' gave me more mental strength."

Although we are still across the Pacific Ocean from an Olympic champion, in Tao Luna, we can also learn with our children to face the pain of failure like her, and walk out of the height of life from one "tragedy" after another.

In the ups and downs, train the "big heart"

In Tao Luna's eighteen-year sports career, the Sydney Olympics are definitely a highlight of the event.

In the 10-meter air pistol shooting competition that year, the Bund Jun was shaking with nervousness across the TV broadcast screen, but Tao Luna on the field stared at the eyes of the national audience, kept her composure to the end, and finally won the precious first gold of the Sydney Olympics for the Chinese team with a score of 488.2 rings.

Standing on the podium, Tauluna smiled. However, what is less known is that when she learned that she was selected for the Sydney Olympics, Tao Luna's first reaction was to gasp.

"I thought what should I do? I was carrying the trust of the whole country to win the Olympic gold medal, and this feeling was really restless. ”

Although she had already won the pistol championship of the World Cup Finals in '97, these medals, honors and the expectations of others were like a boulder pressing on Tauluna's heart, making her become afraid of failure.

The psychological imbalance was also quickly reflected in the results of the competition:

At the '98 World Championships, Tao Luna, who has a lot of technical reserves, was so nervous that her heart jumped, and her results eventually fell out of the top eight.

At the 13th Asian Games in Bangkok that same year, Tao Luna, the main athlete, was "so nervous that the gun was shaking non-stop, and she couldn't pull the trigger at all." It was only at the urging of the head coach that she hit 89 rings with her disobedient arm, "which is similar to that of children in the district," and finally she had to return empty-handed.

In the sports arena, the gold medal is a single evaluation indicator, and the pressure on the face made Tao Luna very suffocated for a while. Insomnia is a daily occurrence for her.

To this day, Tao Luna has tried to use figurative metaphors to describe the pressure that gold medalists endure in competition, but such examples are not easy to find.

"Let's say the college entrance examination? But does the college entrance examination seem to be simpler than the Olympics, or is it like bungee jumping? You are nervous to death for a moment, but only for a moment. For gold medalists, we endure this tense psychological state for a long time, a contradictory state of wanting to win a championship and not wanting to win it. ”

In his current year, he repeatedly lost medals because of his psychological "fragility", which made Tao Luna, who was hovering in the trough, hold her breath all the time. Sinking her heart, she was determined to find a breakthrough for herself to resist pressure.

"It's like the first time I ate bitter melon, but if I try to eat it all the time, I feel that I can bear this kind of bitterness." I have to force myself to find out what I fear the most in my heart, what is the most difficult to overcome, and then try to adapt. ”

The way to success is in my "heart"

In 1996, Tao Luna put up a large sign on the wall of her dormitory with the slogan "The way to success is in my heart." It also means that a battle against pressure has begun.

She tried to watch the video of the diving competition, and from the eyes of the "diving queen" Fu Mingxia when she came on the field, she experienced courage and firmness; I have also been on the 70-meter skyjump, constantly experiencing bungee jumping to record the current tension, and adapt myself to the high-pressure rhythm of the competition as soon as possible.

But whenever she had time, she also ran to ask Professor Liu Shuhui of sports psychology, "How to use Wallenda's mentality well in shooting competitions?" ”

The "Wallenda effect" refers to a series of reactions brought about by an unbalanced mentality of gain and loss in order to achieve a certain goal.

This fits perfectly with the rules of shooting: the more you aspire to a championship, the more likely you are to fail. And this is also the subtle mentality that we ordinary people often appear in their daily work and study.

To this end, Professor Liu also prescribed a prescription - "If you don't want to think before, don't want to think later, grasp the current step and control the technical action." ”

Use the knowledge of sports psychology to help athletes quickly enter the triple realm of "emotional calm, clean thinking and attention entry".

01

Use the appearance training skillfully to calm your mind

The characteristic of shooting sports is that no one will interfere with you in the arena, and what interferes with you is the pressure of public opinion from the outside world. Therefore, under high pressure, we need to accurately perceive our current emotions, pay attention to our every action essentials, and quickly calm down with a normal heart in the fierce arena.

Entering the venue is meditation, which is also what Tao Luna's coach Xie Qianqiao asked her to do. One of the effective ways to practice meditation is to reproduce your performance in your mind at any time.

This is also the case with the American psychologist Richard A. Professor R.M. Suine's "Representational Training" in his book Imagination – Theory and Applications of the Present:

People can use all their senses to reproduce or reconstruct the process of experience, that is, consciously and actively use the motor representations that have been formed in their minds to review, repeat, correct, develop and branch their own actions.

To put it simply, when Tao Luna completed an excellent shooting technique move, Coach Xie asked Tao Luna to close her eyes, experience the previous action program, think about 10 to 20 shots in a row, and then train in a variety of ways according to the action just now.

This practical tip is not only suitable for shooting training, but also helps us quickly improve the efficiency of learning in daily life.

Canadian psychologist Ellen Paviou once conducted an experiment. Two groups of volunteers were invited to memorize graphic vocabulary and abstract vocabulary within a specified time. Experimental data showed that because a concrete word can induce people to imagine what it depicts, in the end, volunteers recalled 75% more concrete words than abstract words.

Therefore, in the recitation text, we may also wish to guide children to recall memories in time after memory: close their eyes, form a clear appearance in the brain, and then read the information as completely as possible.

Gradually, children can transform the text content into continuous activity pictures on the basis of understanding the meaning of language and text at any time, and deepen children's memory and understanding of the text.

02

Build self-confidence and affirm yourself with positive thinking

Even though she experienced many setbacks in her sports career and was once rejected by the national team, the strong Tao Luna never gave up on herself.

She once wrote in her reading notes:

"A grain of wheat has three fates: one is to be put into a sack and wait to be fed to the pig; One is to grind flour and make bread; There is also a way, which is to bury in the soil, and he germinates day by day, producing more and more grains of wheat.

I am like a grain of wheat, but there is a difference between me and a grain of wheat, the grain of wheat has no will, cannot choose its own destiny, and I can. ”

Even now, 18 years later, Bund Jun can still clearly feel this belief in the conversation with Tao Luna. Hidden beneath Tauluna's tepid exterior, it is internalized as the top athlete's unfazed poise and strong confidence.

This powerful inner strength comes from the acceptance and recognition of the self. She believes that since it has happened, it will never be a happy thing if we have to think about the worst.

The right thing to do is to learn to actively suggest to yourself. Rogers' conceptual systems theory holds that recognizing the importance of one's own problems, confident that being able to handle one's own problems well, will help form a positive, systematic, and stable self-concept.

In the psychological training of the national team, sports psychology teachers often emphasize a positive attitude to the participating athletes, such as clarifying the criteria for success in the competition, that is, breaking through themselves and doing what they should do; As long as it is done properly, then everyone can succeed.

In daily training, Tao Luna's self-suggestion is "This is my own arena, my one-man exhibition match". Such an increase in self-worth can also be transferred to children's learning and life, we may wish to strengthen children's confidence many times, such as:

I will definitely be able to recite this article

I'll definitely be able to pop up this tune

I'll be able to do this math problem

Under these powerful psychological hints, children can often quickly find a breakthrough to resist pressure, get rid of panic and anxiety, and exert their true strength.

03

Raise awareness and plan ahead for problems

The biggest nightmare of a shooter on the field is to play nine rings in a row. But in one training session, Tao Luna still hit six rings in a row.

The problem that arose this time not only did not make her regret and depression, but recorded this rare case more carefully.

"What if this phenomenon is happening in the Olympics? Then I can only accept it. ”

Planning for problems in advance is also an effective way to improve stress resistance in sports psychology. As sports psychiatrist Steve Peters puts it, "If we don't face the possible outcomes, they can overwhelm our brains and weaken our concentration." So rehearse the consequences of failure or success, and then leave them behind one by one. ”

Only by admitting that you will also play "bad" results can you help yourself get rid of the psychological burden and really start from scratch.

This is also a key part of the mindfulness training of shooting athletes - feeling the tension during the competition, but not meaningfully avoiding, suppressing and transferring, and finally achieving the competition mentality requirements of "conscious awareness, living in the moment and not making judgments".

Picture from "Ordinary breeds brilliance: The mission and value of shooting sports psychological services"

Although we may not be able to maintain a long-term mental clarity like shooters, we can also learn their attitude towards negative emotions.

In addition to observing our own emotions, we may wish to recall the events that can trigger our own negative emotions, such as homework not completed, exams not done well...

After that, encourage the children, you can also give some cartoon names for the negative emotions caused by negative events, to help the children stay calm in the emotional vortex;

At the same time, carefully observe the reactions of your own thoughts and bodies in negative emotions, and make psychological plans and action plans.

In this way, when the unexpected comes, children can quickly focus on the present moment, reduce negative emotions, and look at the current setbacks and dilemmas from a more reasonable perspective.

04

Break down big goals into smaller ones

On the road to winning the championship, big goals can easily generate great psychological pressure. The road has to be taken step by step, and large targets can also be disassembled into several small targets that are easier to operate, like more difficult action techniques, or they can be simplified into continuous small actions.

In order to better improve her shooting skills, Tao Luna in training once divided the whole set of shooting techniques into 9 small targets: "My correct actions: slow fire, vision recovery, plate machine pressing, keep a natural and stable shot; Air pistol, plate machine pressing, vision recovery, smooth and natural firing. Note that the shot stays this way instantly. ”

Year after year of training, these small goals are honed more meticulously and precisely.

By the time of the Sydney Olympics four years later, her technical action program had been refined to "when the gun falls on the lower edge of the black ring, it basically stops, stops slightly; That is, natural firing. From the upper edge of the black ring to the firing process, the index finger does not relax, especially to the lower edge of the black ring, the index finger keeps pressing the trigger, pay attention to vision recovery, calm the mind, and maintain this state at the moment of firing. ”

These technical actions, which were disassembled to the extreme, were also repeatedly pondered in Tao Luna's mind.

"When my mind is empty, I 'memorize' these words. During the game, I focused all my attention on the action, and the words would play over and over again like a tape recorder, reminding me of what to do like a hint. ”

The rewards are obviously huge. At the Sydney Olympics, she honestly grasped every move, and finally overcame her inner demons and played 11 consecutive 10 rings in the final group of the Olympic final.

"When I was well prepared and actually went to the Olympics, I was not nervous. After 10 shots, I didn't look at the results, but I knew I was close to the championship. ”

Like a top athlete

Get rid of mental internal friction and walk out of the height of life

However, the champion is not the end of the fairy tale. After the Sydney Olympics, Tao Luna ushered in a more bumpy sports career.

At the Athens Olympics in '04, former Olympic champion Tauluna encountered Waterloo. In the air pistol competition, Tao Luna ranked third from the bottom in the qualifying round with 40 rounds and 366 rings, and did not compete for the final.

On the eve of the preparation for the Beijing Olympics in 08, she suffered from mumps, and the 34-year-old finished third in both events, while there were only two Olympic places. Stronger, she gave up the substitute spot and chose to withdraw from the national team.

Today, Tao Luna does not shy away from the defeat at that time. She admitted: "This journey is very difficult, you have had it, and when you go to the bottom, the test for people is very great. To this day, the mention of those desperate and painful years is still unforgettable for her.

When it is difficult, Tao Luna will repeatedly listen to Jay Chou's song "Snail", thinking of herself as the little snail in the song, "I want to climb up step by step, and finally fly forward on the leaves".

In the end, this snail with a heavy shell on its back finally climbed out of the bottom of '04, and at the 06 Doha Asian Games, it regained three golds and one silver, among which the air pistol event also broke the Asian record with 391 rings, thus proving itself.

The piercing and painful sharpness of Tao Luna's body also reflects the excellent characteristics of top athletes - choose one thing and persist in not giving up for a long time.

Sports psychologist Dr. Andrea Furst pointed out that "it doesn't take complicated conditions to become a top-level athlete, but they can choose one thing in their daily life, constantly correct themselves, and stick to it." ”

The persistence and desire for goals is also an important force for Tao Luna to get out of mental internal friction. "In the face of all kinds of difficulties, we did not give up, and we are always looking for a breakthrough to persevere, which is the most important value of the gold medal."

Because of the dream in her heart, she shaped Tao Luna's legendary sports career for 18 years:

The high school began to officially join the city sports school and began shooting special training.

As the 16th "supernumerary", she entered the national training of the national 15-person women's pistol project, won the first place in the counterattack within 40 days, and stayed in the national team.

She was twice named the best female shooter of the International Shooting Federation, and broke the world record and Asian record many times.

No one knows how many unimaginable hardships and patience Tao Luna has experienced from the long preparation time to every minute on the field.

Setbacks and stress are essential for everyone's growth. In Tao Luna, we see how strong the tenacity and love can be under the heavy pressure.

Turn effort into an attitude, persistence into a habit, and constantly challenge, I believe that our children can achieve better results in this long-distance run of life.

Bibliography:

(Swipe up and down)

1. Xie Qianqiao's "Experience of Selecting Materials and Cultivating Talents for Outstanding Female Pistol Athlete Tao Luna"

2. Li Sihua, Li Jingcheng, Liu Shuhui, "Ordinary breeds brilliance: The mission and value of shooting sports psychological services"

3.Simon Usborne 《How to win at life: what sports psychologists can teach us all》

4. Kong Zeming "Using Appearance Training to Improve Primary School Students' Memory"

5. Su Lin, "Practical Exploration of Short-term High-frequency Mindfulness Training to Improve Junior High School Students' Mental Toughness"

6. Huang Jianjian "Playing with guns in Shanghai Alley since he was a child, setting a world record that has not broken in 38 years!" Interview with Tao Luna, tragedy gives me more strength"

7. Chen Shuyi "Interview with Olympic champion Tao Luna: I should go sing burlesque"