How do people who have been single for many years talk about falling in love? | Story FM

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Mother-fetus single, that is, mother-fetus single, mother-fetus solo, refers to "a person who has remained single since birth and has never been in love". Originally derived from South Korea, the term quickly became a buzzword around 2018 when it came to Chinese internet and never seemed to go out of style.

Discussions about mother-to-child solo will be searched from time to time, and such words are often used in news pages and the titles of self-media articles... So why are the mother singles single people single for so long? How do they get off the list? Do they have a lot of trouble when it's in a relationship? In the face of various problems in love, how will inexperienced mothers solve them?

Our "Tanabata Special" this year focuses on "mother list", and we found several former mothers to talk about their first love story or the process of finding love after many years in the mother single. If you are also a mother single, maybe you can get some tips and methods to get off the list; If you are not a mother, then the various experiences and moods of the three narrators at different stages of love may also bring you some small inspiration.

-1-

Xiaoding: The story of two mothers from clumsiness to mutual proposal

My name is Xiaoding, I am 29 years old and currently working as a preschool teacher in New Zealand and then I had 26 years of motherhood experience before I met my current partner ass.

Xiaoding uses "awkward" to summarize her personality, she will not express feelings, meeting people she likes is more to make up some plots of the sky, touching herself, but dare not take action, at the same time, even if she finds that someone likes her, she will deliberately keep her distance.

And most importantly, Xiaoding, who grew up in the countryside, didn't learn about the gay community until college, and she herself realized that she might prefer girls after working...

I met my fart in July 2020, at a ski resort in New Zealand, when the two of us had a mutual friend, and then I went skiing with my friend, and during the break, I went to the restaurant and saw my friend talking to the butt, and my friend briefly introduced us to each other, I didn't pay much attention to her at the time, I just thought she had long hair, and then her eyes were good-looking, and I didn't talk much.

In the afternoon, my friend sent a photo of me and my friend, and then she (friend) told me at night that she met her good friend, that is, a fart, in the café today, and left a message saying, this girl is so good-looking, does she have a partner?

Later one weekend the fart came to live in our rented house because we lived close to the ski slopes. Then I realized that she didn't treat me the same way she did to my friend, and she paid attention to me. For example, I was playing guitar and singing with my friend that night, and then I saw that she was supposed to be filming, but her camera was basically just pointing at me.

After a friend pulled the line from the middle, Xiaoding learned that the butt had a good impression of her, and later Xiaoding and the fart would meet frequently on the ski resort, and the two also had many exchanges. In the exchange, Xiaoding learned that the fart was also single from the mother and fetus, and in this way, the two mothers chatted more and more after skiing.

Once the two of us just got off the cable car, she met one of her friends, she greeted her friend, introduced me by the way, and directly said, this is Xiaoding, this is the girl I like.

My friend and I were petrified, and the two of us thought, what the hell, suddenly say this...

Her friend said, are you so direct?

She probably realized what she had just said at this time, so she changed her words and said, I mean, this is my sister who has a good impression of.

Then my whole brain went down, and I didn't know what to do with the scene, so I immediately put on my skis and rushed down.

■ Movie/"Dangerous Peak"

When she took the second cable car, she was probably also afraid of embarrassment, she originally wanted her friends to join her. But her friend left and didn't join us, and then the two of us were on the cable car.

At first, neither of them spoke, so they were embarrassed to be silent over there, and then I thought to myself, it can't be like this, if it goes on like this, my friends don't have to do this.

Halfway through, I asked her, did you just confess that?

No, she said, if I confessed, I would definitely be more formal.

Then I said, that's good that you didn't confess.

Xiao Ding's "It's okay" almost made the fart think that Xiao Ding didn't like her, but in fact, she was just preparing to return to China soon and had already bought a ticket. In Xiaoding's original plan, after she returned to China, she would obey her parents' wishes and find someone to marry and make do with it. Although he also has a good impression of the butt in his heart, Xiaoding knows that this relationship is destined to end in vain.

But the sudden epidemic caused her flights to be canceled repeatedly, and she could not return to China for several years, which also has a later story.

When the cable car was about to reach the top, I asked ghostly, and I said that if you don't mind talking for a few months, I think we can try it too.

Then she hesitated for a moment and said, I'll go back and think about it.

I was actually very apprehensive that night, because I thought she liked me, and I thought to myself, since I said I would give it a try, she would agree immediately, but she actually said to think about it. So I thought to myself, will it be a hot face against a cold ass again this time, will she come back and tell me, forget it, you have to go, or don't do this.

So the next day, when I saw her at first, I was very nervous, but after getting on the cable car she started to take off her helmet, I knew that she was so serious that she must be confessing to me, so when she said it, I already knew in my heart what she was going to say.

But no one had ever confessed to me so formally, so I was actually very, very happy, and the whole person couldn't hide a smile, but I felt very shy.

Since neither party has been in love before, just as most people imagine the mother, when two people receive each other's love signals, they are a little "clumsy" and "dull" when facing the advancement of the love process.

At the beginning, the rhythm of the two of us was not on the same channel, for example, the two of us had been together for two or three days, and she had not held my hand, so I was a little anxious. One night we were walking together, and then I said, I feel so cold. I thought to myself that she should be able to pick up on to this signal, either by holding my hand or by getting closer to me.

And she said to me, what then? Or do you tremble?

I'm angry, I think why you are so incomprehensible, alas.

Then I told her about it, and I said I felt like the two of us were always at a distance, not so close.

She said that because she felt that I was also in a relationship for the first time, she was afraid that if I was too anxious, I might not be able to adapt.

I said, we can also go slowly, a little bit faster.

Then one time when she drove me home, she said in the car that she wanted to kiss me, and then she came over and quickly kissed me on the forehead. I thought, well~ this is a bit like a couple.

Then the next day she sent me home, I said I was going to kiss you this time, and then I asked her to close her eyes and secretly kissed her on the mouth. She immediately opened her eyes, and said with a surprised and shocked expression, why did you kiss my mouth all of a sudden?

On the third day, she sent me home, and she said, "This time I want to kiss you." I thought she was just like me, maybe she just kissed the dragonfly, I closed my eyes, and she just came over and started sticking out her tongue.

I was so frightened that I pushed her away, and I said, what are you doing?

Then she was nervous, and she said, I thought you wanted me to kiss me deeply or something.

I said, the two of us have only been together for a few days, and you want to kiss me deeply?

It me off that day. After I went back, I began to think about whether I really didn't like girls, otherwise why did I resist her sticking out her tongue so much. But now of course I understand that because the foundation of our relationship between the two of us has not yet been established at that time, the tongue kiss must be a little too impulsive.

So I think at the beginning, the two of us went together to explore which rhythm was the most suitable, and the process was quite bumpy. If one of us has been in a relationship, we may not show a little clumsiness in controlling this rhythm.

In the second week with the butt, Xiaoding accidentally fell from the ski jump and fractured, so the fart proposed that the two live together in order to take better care of her, Xiaoding originally thought that they only lived together for a short time during the convalescence, but after that cohabitation, the two have not been separated so far.

After that, their relationship developed rapidly, and many of the love links that had required each other to test each other for a long time were able to move forward quickly after they lived together.

I was worried at the time, could the two of us progress too fast, and there would be no novelty in the back?

I'm actually quite nervous, and I've always thought, will we actually have all this happy feeling now because of the role in the love period? Could it be that after everyone gets acquainted with each other, there will be no such sweet and heartwarming feeling?

But now that we've been together for three years, it still feels almost the same as before. Or every morning I have to kiss her before leaving, and then the first thing she does when she comes back from work at night is to hug me, the two still have a lot of love for each other, and then they still want to do a lot of things with her every day.

Xiaoding and Butt proposed to each other last year, and the two are currently preparing for the wedding. Looking back now, what caused Xiaoding's mother to have 26 years of inferiority and avoidance were also cured by another mother in this "clumsy" relationship.

■ Scene of two people proposing to each other / Photo provided by interviewee

I think I should be a very lucky person, because I didn't expect that my first relationship would meet someone who was completely different from my personality, but completely complementary to me.

Before I met a fart, I was a very awkward person, and I had a lot of criticism about myself.

Because of the family relationship, I will constantly blame myself, and then I was depressed for a period of time in China, when the voice of self-criticism was circulating in my head, and my brain was saying to myself, you are very rubbish! You can't do anything! You might as well live than die!

After being with the ass, she is a person who likes to praise me very much, and she will exaggerate me for a little thing. For example, when I cut vegetables at home, she said, how do you cut vegetables so badly, how do you cut shredded potatoes so finely, you are too good!

After saying more, I also began to slowly look at myself more objectively, and I realized that I was not as bad as I thought. Now occasionally when I start to self-condemn myself again, the voice of ass comes to my head, you are actually good, you are already good, you are a little better to yourself.

The other is that I am afraid of showing my negative emotions, I am afraid of conflict with others, so I rarely get angry with people. Even if I have dissatisfaction, I usually hold it in my heart, either digesting it myself or keeping my distance from that person.

When I first got together with my ass, I was like this. If I think she is not doing it right, I will not take the initiative to tell her, but I may throw my face, I may have a cold war with her...

She is a character who breaks the casserole and asks the end, she is very sensitive to my emotions, and once I am not happy, she will run up to me and ask, are you unhappy? Did I do something today and you were not happy?

I didn't want to say it at first, but she would always be with me, and then I would slowly be willing to tell her that I didn't really like what you did today. Then her first reaction would be, thank you for telling me, thank you for being so honest, and I think you're happy to show me like this. Then he will tell me, then the two of us will work together to find a way to solve this matter.

So my communication with her has always been responsive. After a long time, I felt that expressing my negative emotions was actually not so scary.

Because of traditional concepts, it is difficult for Xiaoding and Butt to get the blessing of their domestic families, but fortunately, they have obtained New Zealand residence permits, at least for a long time in the future, they will go skiing in their spare time, and plan to pack a piece of land to grow some vegetables, and maybe buy an RV to travel around...

Of course, like Xiaoding, waiting to wait until a fiancée is a minority after all, and people have social channels such as skiing, for the company and the home two points and one line, there is no other social channels of the mother single, if we want to get off the list, we still have to take the initiative. The following "mother single warrior" who bravely broke into the dating software shared her story from carefully downloading the dating software to finally using the dating software to get rid of the single.

-2-

Xiaomei: Mother Shan brave dating software

In retrospect, the girls around me barely talked about dating apps. Even if the discussion is very private, and we will confirm each other, you also use dating software, then I also use dating software, then we can discuss this matter...

This is the "mother single warrior" I am talking about, her name is Xiaomei, she is 30 years old this year, and she has been single for 27 years. Xiaomei grew up in a single-parent family, and her mother avoided any discussion of feelings while she was growing up. On the other hand, in Xiaomei's previous cognition, it seems that those who can fall in love are those who have solid families and good looks, so if they do not meet the above conditions, they are not "qualified" to fall in love.

In fact, it can be clearly felt that during the student period, the classmates in the class will be together, and the priority to enter the relationship is actually those who study well, look good or have a good family. In fact, I look a lot like an athlete, I have very short hair, I have been wearing sports clothes, unlike other girls who comb ponytails, and have begun to dress themselves... Everyone will think that it is a violation for athletes to fall in love sweetly, or to say that small birds are coquettish.

After graduating from college, it is actually obvious that you are no longer affected by classmates, and you may be able to prove yourself through your abilities. In my work, I feel that I have been recognized beyond my expectations at different stages, so that my needs for feelings at that stage are relatively ignored, but when you are new to a party, or new acquaintances, or leaders of some companies, someone will ask you, are you in love? Do you have a boyfriend? And then you can only say very shyly, no.

At this time, everyone seems to reflexively ask you, do you want to introduce one for you? But no one I can remember seriously introducing me to.

"You haven't been in a relationship yet, do you have any problems?"

Everyone will intentionally or unintentionally reveal that TAs are such views in the chat, but after TAs have ridiculed you, they will not be responsible for you, or consider for you and say, eh, there is really a good person around me, I really want to introduce it to you... There is no follow-up.

At that time, Xiaomei realized that it seemed that people with love experience were always playing with other people who had love experience, and the mother single had been playing with the mother single, and when the mother list gathered together, there was another obvious feature:

They will often get together and say:

"Oops! What's so good about falling in love, it's still the coolest to be single!"

"I don't want to be in a relationship, I don't feel anything about those people!"

"It's still the coolest to go out to play, the coolest to watch dramas, the coolest to eat delicious, and the coolest to raise cats!"

They will give themselves a psychological cue that I don't need to be in a relationship.

I want to say that if a person who is 40 years old has never been in love, TA sincerely feels that he does not need a relationship, or does TA say such a thing in order to paralyze himself and make himself feel that I have no regrets in this life? This is a question mark in my mind.

Of course, for this topic, we are not denying all people who do not fall in love, there must be many people who do not want to fall in love from the bottom of their hearts, and really feel that single life is very comfortable, which is also a very healthy lifestyle. But in Xiaomei's observation, there are still many, many people, including their former self, who are awkward. There is a heart of love, no courage to fall in love, falling into a negative intimate relationship in duplicity, and then it is more difficult to enter the "mother single helix" of intimate relationship.

Back to Xiaomei's story, Xiaomei has been labeled as cute, humorous, athlete, funny woman since she was a child, she has never been described by words such as beautiful and good-looking, and at the age of twenty-five or six, Xiaomei recognized that she very much wants to be considered sexy, and also wants to show that she is ready for this.

But even so, she couldn't find a way to break through the "mother-single helix" until she heard the remarks of several male colleagues while swiping dating apps.

At lunchtime, several of them got together to brush social software (dating software), a few boys were very ridiculous and contemptuous on the girls on the screen, they swiped all the girls right, but while swiping on the right while commenting:

"I'm too old."

"This one doesn't look good."

"This picture is repaired, a real person must not look like this, do you want to ask it out to see?"

When they used a particularly mocking and contemptuous language to evaluate girls they didn't know and didn't know, I, as someone who knew them, I somehow felt humiliated.

When I saw such a scene that day, I wanted to say why they were so calmly scratching the dating app, and when we heard such words next to us, we even felt uncomfortable, but could not do any reaction. So I was very angry that day, very stubborn, and rebellious to see the next software, but at that time I didn't really have the intention of getting a partner on it, I just wanted to see what kind of world this place was like.

■ Dating software diagram/picture from the Internet

In the eyes of many conservative people, dating apps are equivalent to "hooking up", "disorderly" and "having fun", and are constantly stigmatized. At that time, although Xiaomei had realized that this shame for sex was wrong, she could not be left alone. In this way, with this "shame", Xiaomei downloaded a very famous dating software on the market on the same day, and at first Xiaomei did not dare to upload her real photos, nor did she dare to disclose any real information, silently observing on the dating software.

When I scratched on it, I found that everyone is very interesting, everyone dares to show themselves, fitness men are always naked, beautiful girls are always put very refined, very beautiful, and then fully dressed, wearing skirt photos.

When I brave the world as a "funny woman", I think, am I going to make some changes? Others are always ready to attract more attention, and I seem to be ready to fall in love, but in fact, I have never actively attracted the attention of others.

Then I tried to upload 9 images on this platform, which means I decided to start dating on it with my real face.

A total of 9 pictures, I have the impression that I uploaded about 4~5 photos of myself, and some photos that are very funny and lifelike, but in fact have nothing to say, and then wrote a short humorous oil poem in the introduction, revealing to others the information that "you can ask me out for a drink".

I remember that the first person I also met on my slip to, he showed a very calm and restrained person in his photo. That man attracted me because his photos and his descriptions resembled my temperament. So I had some communication with him on the software, and at the time of the exchange, I had not yet made up my mind to say that I was going to meet this person, so my chat was very bold, saying some things that I didn't dare to say in front of this person, which seemed to me to be more explicit, and now it may seem like nothing.

The chat with this man was more pleasant, and the other party did not say anything inferior, just like that, Xiaomei's adventure of mother-fetus brave dating software entered the next level.

I want to meet this person, since he has already challenged to this step, it should be the second level of "fighting monsters". So I offered to him, do you want to meet for a drink?

Then I asked him to choose an address closer to him because I didn't really want him to know where I lived.

The bar was small, there were no people on the day we went, and it was close to winter. Inside the bar, I ordered two beers, then ate some fries and stuff like that, and talked without a ride.

His chats during this process have been very restrained and very calm, and I think he should be a veteran who has dated many times, and his performance makes me feel that he is very uninterested in new classmates like me who have no experience at first glance, which makes me feel that I can easily relax.

When I myself face strangers, I am actually quite "social cow" because I can open up topics indefinitely. But I am not very good at showing my attractiveness and charm to the other party, so it seems that the other party first started the discussion of more private topics.

The other party mentioned it while drinking that he had met a girl when he was drinking before, a foreigner, and then they had a relationship... When he talked about this, his tone was very calm. I felt that he didn't deliberately stir up the topic, so I felt very safe, because I felt that he was not so interested in me, and he did not show the message "I must put you to sleep today".

And the more he touched on this topic, the more he went over to talk about some funny things in his life, which made me feel safe, and I quickly had a thought - I thought it was possible for me to try it with this person?

This trial meant sleeping, not falling in love with this person, because at that time, it was more urgent for me to be recognized as sexy.

■ Drama / "I Want to Do It Once"

I confessed to him that I had no sexual experience. He didn't show much curiosity about someone like me who had no experience, or the urgency to show me something, he just said "oh" and then expressed his opinion that it was fine, and then this made me feel safer.

So I asked him very directly, do you think we can give it a try?

When I said this, I thought there should be a camera next to me to record my face, which was a very important moment in my life.

Then this boy also asked me very calmly, today?

I felt like I had scared him out, and I said, not today, maybe one day, next week or whatever.

Then he said, I'm OK if you want.

The week after the separation, I seemed to be apprehensive about the day to come, because I knew that I had spoken it and I had to fulfill it.

It's like you're going to give a speech on stage, and you're facing a lot of people's nervousness, it's the same feeling. Then it seemed that I had also expressed my nervousness to him, and then what made me more reassuring was that he was very speechless and said, there is really nothing nervous about this, and if you are also nervous, it will make me nervous too. This made me completely let my guard down.

The day of the relationship was in his house, and I was still nervous, but I tried to do what I had envisioned, I was going to take the initiative to do something, and then how to serve each other, I felt that I did it, and in the end I felt that my experience was also within my expectations and could be described as pleasant.

When I left his house the next morning, I suddenly felt that I should have more light on my body. I did something I didn't think I would dare to try, and I kept myself safe. And in that process, I feel that we have achieved mutual respect, which can be described as pleasant and complete for me.

Then we had this relationship for a while, and I felt that I had a good conversation with that person, and he was very stingy in praising me or expressing his liking for me in the way I spoke, but I was very clear that I couldn't fall in love with this person, and I didn't have a very impulsive liking for him.

Since then, Xiaomei has met other men on dating apps, and if she chats well, she will also meet offline. Among them, some men are very good, but there are also some men who do not pay attention to hygiene, do not live up to their names, and act obscenely... Xiaomei turned around and left.

Xiaomei said that in the adventure of bravely breaking into the dating app, the more she can read the meaning from the ambiguous words of the other party, and the more she can distinguish the true intention implied by a subtle action of the other party.

When I found out that I was able to recognize this information, my confidence in myself was one step further. Because I think the mother has a mentality - when you are faced with people you like and people you don't like, you have no experience to deal with this kind of information.

So downloading dating software can allow us to have many "mock exams", and then when you really have to face the "college entrance examination" brought to you by your favorite person, do you know that this person's reaction is sincere? Or hypocrisy? Does this person really like you? Or does he just want to relieve his loneliness?

After meeting some people and rejecting some people, I feel that I am more able to confirm what kind of person I like. So when I was on social networking apps (dating apps) later, I wasn't so eager to meet a lot of people, but I felt like I met someone I liked.

The first time the mother enters a formal relationship, it must be very rusty, and there must be a lot of those former inferiority surges in your heart, making you want to do something crazy for this person to express your sincerity. But you need to exercise to become comfortable, so I still don't fear to start the pursuit of this person directly, which can be described as slowly cultivating yourself in the shaky process, learning how to express love, and then respect the other person.

After Xiaomei's "Single Adventure Game" is cleared, she enters a new level of "getting along with her boyfriend", which shows that this will be another stumbling process of "fighting monsters and upgrading".

Xiaomei, who has experienced all this, returned to the company's table again, and unlike before, today's Xiaomei has the confidence and courage to "lift the table" at the party.

When I say goodbye to my last company and we meet again, they will notice that my look has changed, and their first reaction is to joke, "Hey! Have you been in a relationship lately?

Then I would say very justifiably, yes!

This sentence is actually enough to make TAs have a great reaction. It was originally a joke, thinking that it would curb me from performing, but I actually refuted it.

And then the TAs will say, eh? Really fake? Would you like to show us the picture of this person? How old is this person?

Very detailed questions will be asked, and even very private questions will be asked to arouse the interest and topic of the TA. But I want to say that the more you try to tease me like this, the more I will directly break your eyes, and I will make the topic bolder than they ridicule.

If you open the yellow cavity, I will open a larger yellow cavity to go back, and then slowly seem that the TAs will no longer tease me like that, maybe they will, but after the TAs do not get the effect they want, they will stop that ridicule and attack another parent single.

I feel that the other mother single also needs to take this step immediately to escape the predicament, and I wish TA to take this step as soon as possible.

Although Xiaomeiyong's experience in dating software is very exciting, this does not mean that this dating software is risk-free, it is necessary to remind that beware of all kinds of fraud and pig-killing plates on dating software, and must meet people offline under the premise that their own safety is guaranteed. Our next narrator, Ah Pu, like Xiaomei, also met her first and only boyfriend in her 40-year life through a dating app.

-3-

Poof: Sibling love with a difference of 15 years, lucky, suffocating, sorry

At first, I didn't know how old I was, but suddenly one day we talked about it, he was 98, and then I was 83, then I was 15 years older than him.

The voice you just heard is from Ah Pupu, 40 years old who currently works in sales in East China. She has been busy since she started working, working overtime almost every day for more than a decade, hardly socializing outside of work, and not confident in her figure, so when she met the boy she just mentioned on the dating app who was 15 years her junior, she had been single for 37 years.

By the time I was thirty-five or six, I suddenly had a very special desire to be loved, and I really wanted to be in love, and I had been in this state for a while.

In fact, the two of us met on the dating APP, we chatted at the beginning, I would also post some more interesting status, and then he would also look at my status.

I also don't think that sister-brother love is my obstacle, because I already like him a little, and then he also has a little hint, explicit meaning that he will like, and then slowly based on the common goal, we met, after meeting, he is very active, very willing to express his liking for me, and the state of his speech, the state of getting along with you, you don't think he is so much younger than you, plus I myself actually want to fall in love at that time, and then was actively expressed by so many boys a little smaller, It's actually quite exciting.

After this meeting, the two still maintained a state of chatting on the software, but soon, the boy expressed his love to Ah Po when they met again.

He gave me a huge ugly bouquet of flowers.

The kind of fiery red roses, with blue stars, I was quite disgusted, but when he suddenly appeared in front of me with a bunch of flowers, he said, "Be my girlfriend."

Ah~ The little girly side in my heart was suddenly stimulated, and I felt that it felt so good, and I was hit.

There was no hesitation to be together, and the time before and after added up to less than two months should be.

■ Movie / "Mountains and Rivers Departed"

When I'm with him, I feel so happy all the time. I really felt what dopamine is. I would think, how can I, and then I will think, how long will this feeling of happiness last? Will I always be so happy?

The little details of our relationship, such as that he likes cats very much, he will treat our cat as if it were his own.

Our family has a cat who is particularly afraid of life, friends come to our house, and even when my parents come to our house, the boss of our family will not hide for a long time and will come out, but the eldest of our family is very good to him.

And then every time he interacted with our boss, I thought, how can he do that? It felt like my boyfriend was interacting with my own child.

The first is that I feel that he is accepted by our cat, and then I will have a feeling of relative happiness. The second is that I can feel the feeling that although he is young, he is quite macho, such as saying that when he puts his arm around your shoulders on the road, he will take care to separate you from the car.

This small detail always makes me feel like he is pampering me like an adult, not a little brother.

Because I'm fatter, I just said that I don't have confidence for this reason. I have been a little fat since I was a child, and in intimate relationships, fat actually gave me a lot of unconfidence, or low self-esteem. I really don't mind if others can accept my fatness, this is a careful knot of my own.

Then in his feedback to me, I would find that he was very receptive, completely accepted, and liked that I was fat. Sometimes when I go out and he puts his arm around my waist, I will be very sensitive, because my waist is not thin, I will slap his hand down, I say, don't touch the fat on my waist. Including sometimes it touches the arm, flesh, small belly, chubby...

I would subconsciously say, oh so fat, don't you touch.

He told me very seriously, the meat is very cute, you see this fat one, and then duang~duang~duang~ feels how Q bomb... He will have some expressions like this.

However, feelings dominated by dopamine are destined to diminish one day. Previous feelings of happiness will slowly decrease as dopamine decreases, and disgust and discomfort gradually take over.

In less than half a year, I will have a little ... Alas, it's more greasy.

I think he's a guy whose emotional needs are going to be a little higher, and then I'm a guy whose emotional needs might not be that high. And then, he's very clingy, and for me, we meet every weekend, have an appointment, watch a movie together, have a meal together or do something intimate together, etc., I think this frequency is enough, but he wants to see each other every day.

At first, my words didn't work, but he still liked to get along together, and I felt a little unbearable. This clinginess makes me feel, oh, it's so clingy, it's so sticky that I can't breathe.

I dissected myself later because I lived on my own for more than 10 years. When I first came to this city, I have been working, and in my life, there is nothing but work. So I'm actually used to being alone, and suddenly someone has such intimate interaction and contact with me, I just can't stand it.

The difference in emotional needs is just one reason for Ah Pu's attitude towards this relationship, and many small things in love are gradually taking away Ah Pu's liking for this boy.

During the time the two got along, Ah Pu rescued a litter of kittens after a heavy rain, because after being rained, the kittens all had hypothermia, coupled with the cat mother's poor nutrition, the kitten's life was very fragile.

One day when he was at our house, I suddenly noticed that another kitten was gone, this was the second, not the first one was gone.

The first time I was gone, I was very uncomfortable, but maybe it was not unbearable, but when the second kitten was gone, I thought, why is it gone again? I blame myself. My first reaction was, I was sad and sad, I cried, but at the same time I had to quickly take out the kitten, and then see how to dispose of the kitten's carcass, and I also had to wipe the cage with alcohol, because I don't know how much virus it left behind, whether it will affect the kitten...

In this case, in fact, for my heart, I need him to help me deal with this matter, but what is his first reaction? His first reaction was to hold me and tell me not to be sad.

I was really sad, I was crying and dealing with it, and then he hugged me and didn't let me work, so I didn't feel sad.

At that time, I thought, how are you this brain circuit?! I'm still busy with my hands now, I even carry the corpse of a kitten on my hands, what are you holding me for? Shouldn't you be helping me deal with these things now?

My girlfriend said that how good this kind of boyfriend is, my boyfriend will not provide me with emotional value, it is all about things.

But I don't think I've been single for too long, and I'm really older, I feel like I have to settle things first, and then deal with emotions. Just the two of us react differently to things.

There is also the fact that he signed up for a certificate and wanted to take the exam. When we didn't see each other at first, he told me every day that I was researching, and then I was going to read a book, and then after the evening work I was going to read an hour's book, and I had to do the topic...

Later, I found that after we started falling in love, he didn't read a book for a long time, always liked to hug me, always liked to do some intimate contact with me, but he put off his business.

Later, when I asked him one day, he said that he hadn't gone and that the exam had passed.

I said, why didn't you go?

He said he wasn't prepared.

In the middle, how many times I urged him to read, he himself does not read, obviously there is time to prepare.

Just because of this matter, I feel that it is not reliable, this boy is not reliable. I would feel like he wasn't motivated, not really motivated. This incident hit a very annoying point in me.

For mothers who have no experience in love, even breaking up is difficult, and even seems a little "scum" to outsiders.

In fact, I didn't want to break up very clearly at that time, I thought he was so sticky to me, I couldn't breathe, can we separate and calm down.

During the time it was time to calm down, he would sometimes ask me to meet, and then I would say, I don't want to see you.

I repeatedly told him in the equivalent of an apology, I'm sorry, I think the relationship is too close for me to handle, let me please calm down.

After more than half a year, he also felt wrong, originally only got along for half a year, and then suddenly one day said that he would not meet, and the time of not meeting was also deadlocked for more than half a year.

And then suddenly one day he said to me, did I mess it all up?

Then I told him very sorry, I think that time I talked to him should tell him the meaning of breaking up, I said, sorry, it's that I can't handle such a relationship, between the two of us I am a little older, I should be more mature in dealing with relationships, should take on such responsibilities, but I didn't do it very well...

I said, I hope you find a nice person, and I said I don't want to delay you either.

I never felt like a scumbag, but I don't think I'm very mature in dealing with it.

I didn't actually say "break up" from beginning to end, but I expressed it to him, and my language was to blame all the fault on me. Later, he also knew, slowly we didn't even send WeChat very much, and the call was simply gone, anyway, this matter made me cold deal with it for nearly a year.

Looking back now, although this relationship is not long, it is already bright enough in Ah Pu's heart.

I also think I'm lucky that when I really want to fall in love, when I meet a younger brother, he can give me a good emotional experience.

I think about it now, but the feeling when we are together is still very good, and the emotional experience is still very beautiful.

This is the first point, the second point, in fact, after I broke up until now, I have never had the feeling of wanting to fall in love, and he has met my current emotional needs. I'm also 40 years old this year, and my emotional needs for so long seem to have run out in that relationship, and there will be no such strong need for emotions...

It's a little early to say, maybe in the future, but so far, after talking about that relationship, I have returned to the same state as before, and it doesn't matter if I don't fall in love.

Indeed, communication in emotional relationships is a skill that the mother rarely masters, and in several small conflicts, Ah Po did not communicate with the boy very timely or effectively. Ah Pu said that he usually chooses to avoid potential conflicts, so it is difficult to take the initiative to communicate with the other party, because communication seems to mean conflict.

If you are facing a similar situation, you might as well try the first narrator's fiancée ass method, stalk, bite the bullet and ask, try to open communication, maybe you will find that communication may not be so difficult.

--

We are not doing this show to call everyone to fall in love, as we said in the show, maybe you think that being single is very suitable for you, then we are beautiful and single! But if you are a friend who wants to try to fall in love but doesn't know how to start, then after listening to today's program, maybe you already have some ideas, go to Meimei to fall in love! In short, I wish everyone to feel the beauty of all aspects of life, and I wish everyone a happy Tanabata Festival!

Finally, I would like to end with a passage from our second narrator, Xiaomei, the "warrior" who bravely broke into the dating software, which is her understanding of "how to take the first step out of the mother's list", which we think makes sense and share it with you.

Xiaomei: It's easy for mothers to get together and say, we really don't need to be in love.

But admitting that you want to fall in love is actually the truest first step in my opinion, not that you have to download dating software or go to makeup, but you have to make sure first: I really want to be in love!

■ Drama / "At the age of 30 is still a virgin, it seems that he will become a magician"

If you also have an experience about the mother's single, or the skills to overcome difficulties in the mother's first love, welcome to share it in the comment area.

Blockbuster teaser

The annual Zhongyuan Festival is coming, and we will also present a special feature of the highly anticipated supernatural stories as scheduled.

- The cover image is from the movie "At 30 is still a virgin, it seems that he will become a magician"

 Staff 

Narrator: | Xiaoding Xiaomei Ah poof

Producer | Golden Pine

Interview | Golden Pine

Streamer | @寇爱哲

Copywriting | Golden Pine

Sound Design | Mulberry spring

Mix | Mulberry spring

Operations | Yoyo

 BGM List 

01.Storyfm main theme acoustic - Peng Han (opening song)

02. I love to eat fish heads - mulberry springs

03.Life Circle - Peng Han

04. Green clasp - mulberry spring

05. The hub of light - Mulberry Spring

Produced by|Sound Story Media "Story FM"

Copyright statement: The content produced by Sound Story Media shall not be copied and reproduced without authorization, otherwise legal responsibility will be pursued.

 Story FM 

Story FM is a voice show narrated by witnesses