We are all more likely to care, tolerate, and understand others, but neglect ourselves!
Self-care is a psychological ability that people lack under the high pressure of today's society. Because of the mainstream status of self-esteem and self-criticism, people cannot treat themselves equally well while treating others kindly.
The author opens another window of our hearts to acknowledge our suffering and imperfections, and to care for and love ourselves. People are not omnipotent, there are always people who do better than us, and only after accepting all this calmly can we feel joy and happiness again, and can love others more.
Through many classic research findings, personal experiences, practical exercises, and humorous stories, Dr. Neff teaches everyone how to change bad emotional patterns to become healthier, happier, happier and more productive.
Through self-care, meditation, and the explanation and practice of common humanity, this book helps you find ways to reconcile with yourself.
Learning to take care of yourself also masters the power to reverse life.
How bad is the worst life you can imagine?
Do you often feel like your entire life has sunk?
Always feel like something went wrong to make yourself stupid, ugly, filthy?
Want to make more friends but don't know how to start?
Ever had a friend or two, but eventually left?
Don't dare to say too much publicly, because too much will be lost, and you may be ridiculed and humiliated?
Meet someone you want to be close to, but are afraid that they will not have good intentions, and eventually "chase" them away?
These self-doubts, and self-denials, must be familiar to many people like an old friend. However, the difference is that optimistic people will boil it down to "water reversal", grit their teeth and get through; Pessimistic people will feel that there is no hope in life, and only death is true relief...
However, few people have thought that such extreme self-criticism, self-criticism, has evolved into a way of life, and this inner violence is an external manifestation of harsh self-criticism.
The best way to eliminate self-criticism is to understand it, care about it, and replace it with a friendlier response. By allowing yourself to be moved by the pain you endure in self-criticism, you can enhance the desire for self-healing.
After a long period of self-criticism, we eventually decide: enough is enough, and it's time to end masochistic pain.
Love is to be self-sufficient
In the process of getting along with others, do not rely too much on the love, acceptance and security that the other party gives you, which is self-sufficient.
Don't overreact because of the neglect of others, this is actually a distorted form of self-care, but this harshness is futile.
We don't need to wait for the perfection and happiness of life.
We don't need to force the care and care of others in order to feel loved, which doesn't mean we don't need others, but who is the one who knows best what you really feel behind your smile.
Who is the one who knows the pain and fear you face best? Who knows best what you need most.
In your life, who is the one who will never abandon you, guard you, and care for you. Precisely yourself.
You should establish a healthier way of self-talking, learn to communicate with yourself, and discuss problems with yourself. Instead of competing with yourself.
Know what you really think and articulate it. You should think well, what did I observe, what did I feel? What do I need?
What do I ask of myself, or what do I ask of others?
How to practice self-care
There are a few simple ways to help us practice self-care—a practical skill, or behavioral pattern.
When describing yourself, don't define yourself with traits.
This is the easiest way to become aware of your emotions and tell yourself that they do not represent us.
For example, instead of saying "I'm an angry person," change it to "Sometimes, in some cases, I get angry."
Keep an eye out for practice.
Find a relaxing position and sit down for about ten to twenty minutes. Relax, close your eyes and simply pay attention to the thoughts, emotions, smells, sounds, and other bodily sensations that flash into awareness.
For example, "inhale", "the sound of children playing", "itchy left foot", "want to know what to wear at the party", "insecurity", "excitement", "plane flying overhead", etc.
As soon as you are aware of a new experience, gently make a note in your mind and let your attention wander on the new experience.
Sometimes, you may find yourself so lost in your mind that you spend five minutes thinking about lunch and completely forgetting about the practice. Don't worry, as soon as you notice the loss, simply record "lost in thought" and turn your attention to the mindfulness exercise.
Self-care diary
Write down anything in your journal that you find bad: your harsh judgment of yourself, or painful experiences.
I thought I could try the advice from The Power of Self-Care:
For each event, please treat each event in a self-caring way, using contemplation, empathy, and kindness to yourself
Write at the end
The book says, "We appreciate ourselves not because we are better than others, but because all people have a good side." We appreciate our own strengths and the other person appreciates our strengths.
Our desire for truth, goodness, and beauty, and our expectations for ourselves are always present, let us learn to regulate our emotions and better taste life!