This is a dusty memory, and it is also a heart-wrenching past that Master Yang Kaiming does not want to mention. Master Yang Kaiming, who is over seventy years old, plucked up the courage to tell this past story today, not to shirk his sins, he just wanted to release his guilt-tormented heart a little bit, or use the platform of self-media to sincerely say sorry to the parties.
In the fall of 2018, the students who went to northern Shaanxi together to join the team returned to their second hometown to visit the villagers, and Yang Kaiming was unable to go to northern Shaanxi with everyone because he was in a foreign country. But when he rushed back from abroad, the classmates who went to northern Shaanxi also happened to return, and with the classmates came to Beijing was a middle-aged woman from northern Shaanxi.
This fellow from northern Shaanxi came to look for Yang Kaiming, but she did not go directly to Yang Kaiming's house, but stayed in a hotel. It was a classmate who called Yang Kaiming, and Yang Kaiming went to visit the fellow in the hotel.
When Yang Kaiming saw the fellow from northern Shaanxi, he felt a little familiar, but he couldn't remember who she was. When the woman choked and called him dad, Yang Kaiming woke up like a dream, and couldn't help but burst into tears. The life experience of settling in northern Shaanxi back then came to Yang Kaiming's mind like a movie.
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It was late January 1969, the coldest season of the year, and it was in that cold winter that eighteen-year-old Yang Kaiming and his classmates left Beijing on the special train of young people, and finally came to the Lijiagou Brigade in the Yan'an area of northern Shaanxi.
At that time, Yang Kaiming and Zhang Enping lived in the house of Li Mingsheng, a member of the company, and lived in an earthen kiln with Li Laicheng, the eldest son of Li Mingsheng's family. The two of them stayed at Li Mingsheng's house and also ate with his family.
Li Mingsheng's family of four, three-hole earthen kiln, his family in Lijiagou Third Team is considered a relatively wealthy family. The eldest son of Li Mingsheng's family was eighteen years old at the time, had never read a book, and even wrote his name irregularly. Li Laicheng has a younger sister, named Li Qiuling, who was sixteen years old at the time, and she was also the same as Li Laicheng, who could not read a liter of words.
Although Li Qiuling is illiterate, she is skilful and handsome, and the young people come to her house to borrow it, she doesn't mention how happy she is, every day she helps Yang Kaiming and Zhang Enping wash their faces, help them sweep the floor, and even serve rice bowls to them. Yang Kaiming and Zhang Enping also particularly liked this lively and cheerful little sister, and they both affectionately called her Qiuling sister.
A few days after arriving in Lijiagou, Yang Kaiming's melancholy and loss gradually calmed down, and he went to Beijing to write a letter to his parents to report safety. When he wrote the letter, Li Qiuling stood by and watched, making Yang Kaiming a little embarrassed, and he subconsciously covered the written content with his left hand.
Don't see that Li Qiuling is illiterate, but she is very shrewd, she knows that Yang Kaiming does not want her to know the content of the letter, so she blushed and said: "Brother Kaiming , you write is, oh (I) can't read, I don't know what you write, I like to watch others write." ”
Since that day, Yang Kaiming and Zhang Enping have taken the initiative to teach Li Qiuling to read and write, and also let Li Laicheng learn to read and write together. Li Laicheng is not as smart as his sister, Li Qiuling can learn more than a dozen words a day, and Li Laicheng can remember five words a day.
Yang Kaiming and Zhang Enping lived in Li Mingsheng's house for more than nine months, and when the autumn harvest was over, the team made a few earthen kilns for the young people and established the Zhiqing Point, and Yang Kaiming and the others moved to the Zhiqing Point to eat. For more than nine months, Yang Kaiming and Li Mingsheng's family forged a deep friendship, and on the day they moved, Li Mingsheng's aunt was in tears.
After Yang Kaiming and Zhang Enping moved away, Li Qiuling often came to Zhiqing Point to find them and asked them to teach her to read and write. In their free time, Yang Kaiming and Zhang Enping also often visited Li Mingsheng's house, taught Li Laicheng and Li Qiuling to read and write, and sometimes ate at Li Mingsheng's house. Every time Li Mingsheng's family made something delicious, Li Qiuling would run to Zhiqing Point and ask Yang Kaiming and Zhang Enping to come to the house to eat.
Over time, Li Qiuling learned a lot of words, and the longer she became, the more beautiful she became, and she liked Yang Kaiming more and more, sometimes picking a handful of sour dates on the mountain, she also had to give it to Yang Kaiming to eat. Yang Kaiming also likes Li Qiuling very much, and he even has plans to let Li Qiuling be his mother-in-law in the future. Just thinking that Li Qiuling was a rural woman and did not have much culture, he began to struggle in his heart, because his parents were both state cadres and intellectuals, and he was worried that his parents would not let him marry a rural woman as an aunt.
In the autumn of 1973, Li Laicheng married his aunt, and Yang Kaiming and Zhang Enping both followed the gift money. After Li Laicheng got married, Li Qiuling asked Yang Kaiming: "Brother Kaiming , oh (my) brother is the same age as you, he is married to his mother-in-law, what do you think?" Oh, my second mother is worried about giving me a partner. "I'm only twenty-two years old, I'm not in a hurry, it's not too late to talk two years later." Yang Kaiming also understood what Li Qiuling meant, but he didn't mention anything about him and Li Qiuling.
Li Qiuling saw that Yang Kaiming was not in a hurry, she was in a hurry, because her second mother had been to her house several times, and her parents also forced her to see the object.
In the winter of 1974, just as Yang Kaiming was preparing to return to Beijing to visit relatives for the Spring Festival, Li Qiuling suddenly said to Yang Kaiming: "Brother Kaiming is not pregnant, why do I always want to vomit." "Now Yang Kaiming is really afraid, he and Li Qiuling have indeed had two times, can he not be afraid."
That year, when he returned to Beijing to visit relatives for the Spring Festival, Yang Kaiming tentatively told his mother about the object he wanted to object in northern Shaanxi, and his mother's attitude was very clear and very resolute, saying that he would soon be allowed to return to Beijing and absolutely could not be in northern Shaanxi.
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After the Spring Festival, Yang Kaiming returned to northern Shaanxi with a heavy heart, and as soon as he returned to northern Shaanxi, Li Qiuling ran to Zhiqing Point to find him and told him that she was pregnant. This really scared Yang Kaiming, he didn't sleep for several days, and finally told his good classmate Zhang Enping the truth, Zhang Enping stepped forward and kicked Yang Kaiming and said: "Uncle Li's family is so good to us, how can we do something sorry for others?" I told you a long time ago that if you can't marry Qiu Ling, you are not allowed to hurt her..."
In the end, Yang Kaiming and Li Qiuling received a marriage certificate, and the old captain officiated a simple wedding for him and let them live in a kiln in the team.
Just when Li Qiuling was about to give birth, Yang Kaiming's mother suddenly came to northern Shaanxi, where she contacted her son for work, and she came to northern Shaanxi to pick up Yang Kaiming back to Beijing.
After learning about Yang Kaiming and Li Qiuling's marriage, Yang Kaiming's mother was furious, she slapped Yang Kaiming's face, pointed at Yang Kaiming's nose and scolded: "You are an indisputable thing, how did I tell you, your courage is too big, you dare to get married here without telling us, it's just too unspeakable..."
Hit and scolded, Yang Kaiming's mother first found the secretary of the brigade, then went to the Commune Zhiying Office and the Commune Revolutionary Committee, and finally alarmed the county party committee and revealed her identity in Beijing. In the end, Yang Kaiming's household registration moved back to Beijing without much trouble, and the civil affairs department also dissolved the marriage relationship between Yang Kaiming and Li Qiuling. Decades have passed, Yang Kaiming did not understand, at that time, Li Qiuling was about to give birth, and the civil affairs department gave a divorce, because he had never gone through the divorce formalities.
Forced by his mother to die, Yang Kaiming was forced to leave Lijiagou. When leaving Lijiagou, Yang Kaiming did not see Li Qiuling, nor did he see anyone from Li Qiu's family, and the secretary of the brigade told him that Qiuling gave birth to a baby girl and died after birth. He also said to Yang Kaiming: "You can leave at ease, your family gives her family so much money, and the rest of the matter will be handled by the brigade." You don't dare to come back when you leave, the commune said, if something goes wrong with you, Qiu Ling's family will be unlucky, the commune said that her family is sabotaging the movement up the mountain and going to the countryside, this is going to squat in prison..."
After returning to Beijing, Yang Kaiming's mother became ill, so ill that she almost died. Yang Kaiming was also sick, and he lay in bed for more than half a month before getting up. Yang Kaiming's health is better, he is going back to northern Shaanxi, Yang Kaiming and his father said: "Kaiming, because of your affairs, your mother is still lying in the hospital and her life is not saved, you really want to make us all angry to death." Seeing that his father was also in tears, Yang Kaiming gave up the idea of returning to northern Shaanxi.
Two months later, Yang Kaiming went to work at Xinhua Bookstore, and in the first year of resuming the college entrance examination, he was admitted to a technical secondary school, and after graduating from secondary school, he was admitted to university, and after graduating from university, he was assigned to work in government agencies, and later formed a happy family.
But for decades, Yang Kaiming's heart has been unsteady, and he always feels that there is something in his heart. Especially when the classmates who cut the queue together did not contact him, he felt even more uncomfortable. Later, Zhang Enping was transferred back to Beijing from northern Shaanxi, and Yang Kaiming went to him to inquire about Li Qiuling's situation, and Zhang Enping said that he didn't know anything.
In the fall of 2018, Zhang Enping and they were going to go to northern Shaanxi to see, at first everyone did not agree to let Yang Kaiming go together, Zhang Enping said let him go together, after all, everyone is classmates. But in those days, Yang Kaiming happened to be in the field, and he couldn't come back in time for a while. To be honest, even if he is in Beijing, he does not necessarily have the face to meet northern Shaanxi again.
After arriving in northern Shaanxi, Zhang Enping met Li Qiuling, and Li Qiuling told Zhang Enping the truth. It turned out that the doll born to Li Qiuling did not die, and after the doll was one year old, she took the doll and married a team of bachelors Zhao Dawang. Zhao Dawang is a good person, very diligent and kind, it is because of lameness, at the age of twenty-five or six, before he found his mother-in-law, he was beaten into the ranks of singles. Li Qiuling did not suffer when she married him, he was very good to the doll, and he also provided for the doll to read until the end of elementary school. Li Qiuling said that at that time, Yang Kaiming's family did give her family a lot of money, and she did not hate Yang Kaiming. She said she had only one wish, which was to let the doll know who her own father was.
In this way, Zhang Enping brought Li Qiuling's daughter Zhao Honghong to Beijing.
After Zhao Honghong saw Yang Kaiming, she said that she didn't hate him, and she also said that she was content to know what her own father looked like. Zhao Honghong stayed in Beijing for two days, and Yang Kaiming went to northern Shaanxi with her. After more than forty years of meeting again, when Li Qiuling saw Yang Kaiming, she choked and called out Brother Enlightenment, and could no longer speak.
Yang Kaiming went to the cemetery to pay homage to Li Mingsheng and his wife, and also went to the cemetery to pay homage to the old captain, secretly leaving Li Qiuling some money, and he left Lijiagou in a hurry. Before leaving, Yang Kaiming choked and said to Li Qiuling and Zhao Honghong: "If you have difficulties, tell me, if you can do something for your mother, the guilt in my heart can also be alleviated a little..."
After telling his past and the painful emotional experience, Yang Kaiming choked and said: "Li Qiuling's mother and daughter don't remember hating me, but my heart is more uncomfortable, in my lifetime, I want to do something for them, so as to alleviate the guilt and pain in my heart." ”
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After so many years, Yang Kaiming didn't understand how his mother let the commune cadres force Li Qiuling to agree to divorce? He didn't come forward, how did the divorce certificate come down? Yang Kaiming's parents are gone, and the mystery is unknown. Finally, Yang Kaiming said that he wanted to use the platform of self-media to sincerely say sorry to Li Qiuling, hoping that she and her daughter could live a healthy and happy life.
Author: Grassroots writer (compiled according to Master Yang Kaiming)