Wen 丨 Fish Dad Image source: Petal Network
1
A few days ago, after school, the little fish mysteriously showed us a card.
It reads a gift with a prize and the signature of the head teacher.
This is an activity in the class some time ago, and it should be to look at the usual performance in school and give some different rewards.
Of course we are happy to see him doing well.
As usual, I said to him, "How about going to the door and buying a little toy?" ”
I saw that he was a little hesitant and did not agree to me very cheerfully.
The previous small reward, he bought a dinosaur egg himself and got it.
I guess my son is growing up now, it may not be that simple.
Sure enough, in the afternoon, after he searched my phone, I said to take a look.
A dinosaur model at a glance! Looking at the price again, it costs more than 1600.
"It's too expensive, isn't it?" I was a little surprised because I haven't bought such an expensive model so far.
I used to buy a small model for dozens of pieces at the mall.
"You see, mom only has more than 800 on this phone." He handed me my mother's phone.
It seems that a lot of work has been put into it.
2
However, over the years, Little Fish has rarely asked us for toys.
Generally, every New Year's holiday, give him a box of building blocks or a dinosaur model of dozens of pieces, plus a few books, almost satisfied.
Go out and buy gifts, the same once.
But I, every time I see something interesting, I still buy one more to play with at home under his banner.
It may be my personality that makes him not feel lacking and rarely asks for it.
But is it really worth spending so much money on a dinosaur model this time?
For us, it must feel expensive, not worth it.
But in the eyes of the child, it is definitely worth it.
This is how this problem is in front of me, I guess many parents have encountered it.
This was also a problem for my grandmother.
I remember when I was in high school and I fancy a sneaker in town, which cost more than 100.
At that time, this price was already very expensive, and the economic situation of the family at that time was also very poor.
I told my grandmother twice, but I still didn't buy it.
She said that shoes can be worn, why buy such expensive ones.
Later, during the summer vacation, I followed my relatives to do summer work at the construction site and earned hundreds of yuan, and I learned that it was really not easy to make money.
After working for a month to earn a few hundred, a pair of shoes can cost a large part.
The relatives of the contractor were very good, saw me diligent, and said to send me something and let me choose by myself.
I went to the supermarket near the construction site and chose a pair of mesh sneakers, the price should be in the early 100s.
It was my first pair of mesh sneakers, and I felt soft when I wore it, I walked soft, it was really comfortable, and I was reluctant to wear them.
That excitement and joy is still vividly remembered today.
If adults do not understand the child's desires, and immediately interrupt or refuse, it will disappoint the child, feel uncomfortable, and regret.
If I say no to Xiaoxiaoyu directly, it's too expensive, don't buy it!
He must be fine, because he can't place an order.
You can only cry and forget it.
I want to talk to him.
"Here, let's find someone else of the same type! See if there is a cheaper one. ”
Then accompanied him to search for it, there were dozens of mosasaur models, but he had one.
There is also a similar genuine model, more than 300, I think it is very good, I recommend him to buy this.
He looked at this one's mouth differently, and it was full of tongues.
At first glance, I couldn't see the difference, but he then told me several differences.
It's really different, and obviously the one he chose is more detailed, no wonder it's more impressive.
"Hah! You've put a lot of effort into it! ”
"yes! I've been watching it for a long time. ”
I haven't told us about it, it may be too expensive.
Because before I bought him four or five hundred blocks, I had to catch his birthday.
And I will mumble why it is so expensive!
So this dinosaur he has been looking at through the screen.
3
I bought it for him, I thought.
But he couldn't just say yes so easily, otherwise he felt that as soon as he asked for it, we would buy it.
Definitely not.
It also makes him understand that more than 800 yuan is not easy to earn, and what it means.
So I flipped to the same kind of higher-end models and figurines and said to him: "Look at these four or five thousand, do you want them in the future?" ”
"I don't want it, and I don't like those."
"Even if you like it, you can't buy such an expensive one at the moment, and we still have a lot of expenses at home." You will earn your own money in the future, you think for yourself. ”
He nodded.
"You know that now the average job is 3,000 yuan a month, and you have to use almost one-third of your salary for this expense, and the salary has to be used for living, which is a big expense." You can't spend it casually. "I settled the score for him.
"This time the dinosaur was bought for you, because you have also watched it for so long, but you yourself came up with 400, and I will give you more than 400 left, how about it?"
"Okay! No problem," he agreed cheerfully.
You know, he still cares about the money he has in my place.
Then he took our handwritten deposit slip and recorded the expense below for him to sign.
In the end, I still placed an order and bought it.
But I want my child to understand our hearts.
During the meal, I talked to him and told him: your performance in school is good, you deserve to be rewarded, you must continue to maintain it, and manage your studies.
In addition, you have always wanted this gift, and you have not bought him any toys for most of the past half a year, and it is no problem to send you a good and expensive one.
But we must remember that we can be kind to ourselves and buy something good, but we can't spend money indiscriminately, and we must have a plan.
We will always encounter these difficulties when accompanying our children as they grow up.
Some we can be satisfied, and some cannot be satisfied.
What should I do if I encounter this problem? A little thought is also added.
4
The first is to think from the child's perspective and listen to the child's heart.
Don't simply and rudely refuse right away.
This will only make the child rebel, feeling that you do not understand him and do not love him.
So they threatened parents not to go to school, what to do, resulting in tension between parents and children.
If parents are willing to listen, they can understand their children with empathy.
Find out why children want it?
It can lay a good foundation for further communication.
The second is to discuss with the child and inform him of the family's general financial situation.
After understanding the child's thoughts, you can communicate with the child so that the child can also understand the parents' ideas.
We don't buy it for you, it's because the financial situation at home is tight.
You can also try to calculate expenses with your child.
Do not deliberately cry poor, but can tell the real situation, so that the child can accept it.
Then find a way to make some plans, save some money, learn to wait and then fulfill your wishes.
Finally, guide children to save and consume.
It can make children understand the meaning of saving and spending.
Usually, children can have the opportunity to save, save the money to their parents, and have a number for themselves.
When you want to spend money, you can spend it.
If the things you want to buy are more expensive, you can let the children bear part of it and the parents bear part of it.
We can't blindly raise children poorly, and it's not good to let children develop the habit of picking doors.
Regardless of whether the financial situation is generous or tight, face the needs of the child.
It is most important that parents have an attitude of taking it seriously and discussing together.
In this way, whether it is satisfaction or rejection, the child can accept it from the heart.