Marriage is like a spider web that connects relationships between people.
Mother-in-law relationship, husband and wife relationship, concubine relationship, different roles, different people, constitute the web of marriage, one step wrong, will affect the original shape of the spider web, and once wrong, the stability of this web will be greatly reduced.
The new writer Gong Gaofeng wrote in "Father's BlackFish": "Daughter-in-law and mother-in-law are natural enemies of each other, do not know how the Creator designed, a generation of mother-in-law and a generation of daughters-in-law, children and grandchildren are infinitely poor." ”
In the Chinese style of family interpersonal relations, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a more sensitive topic in marriage, and the root cause of its existence may be because the two generations live in different times, the difference in thinking is huge, or it may be the personality of the two people, both are strong, unwilling to compromise and give in.
No matter which kind, entering into marriage, resolving the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and harmonious and good mother-in-law relationship has become the first problem that women should solve.
The mother-in-law relationship is like a bus, waiting for the couple to get on the bus, it will always exist and affect whether the husband and wife can reach the end together, once it is not handled well, the two people are likely to go their separate ways and never walk in the same direction again.
The occurrence of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has a great relationship with whether the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law live together, living under the same roof, the bits and pieces of daily life are likely to amplify the contradiction between the two people.
Sun Jing is like this, from not living with her mother-in-law before, the contradiction with her mother-in-law is not obvious, even if she goes back to her hometown to mix a few words, it does not affect the relationship between the two, and she has been married for eight years without incident, until her mother-in-law has a serious illness and is taken to the city, they live under the same roof, the triviality of life has become more and more trivial, and the contradiction has become increasingly acute.
When she first married, Sun Jing and her mother-in-law lived separately, and the mother-in-law did not want to come to the city in her hometown, every time she went back to Sun Jingnian's mother-in-law was an elder, everything would be humble to her mother-in-law, and after all, she could not return several times a year, and there was really no need to provoke her and her mother-in-law to have a contradiction because of a small matter, and it also made Zhang Hao embarrassed. Therefore, after so many years, even if there is a little contradiction between the two people, Sun Jing will choose to swallow her anger for the sake of family harmony, and she will never return her mouth if she can accommodate her mother-in-law.
Now it is different, the mother-in-law is not in good health was taken to the city to live, the two of them looked down and did not look up, at the beginning Sun Jing can still uphold the principle of "respecting the old and loving the young", calmly get along with the mother-in-law, and let the mother-in-law do everything modestly.
After a long time, it will not work, always she bows her head alone, Sun Jing's heart is unbalanced, although sometimes Zhang Hao will compensate her, buy her gifts to make her happy, and promise that her mother-in-law is not good for her, he will double her kindness, but Sun Jing feels that just tolerating herself is not a way.
Moreover, since the mother-in-law moved from the countryside, the whole family atmosphere of their family has changed, and the mother-in-law and her always have conflicts, resulting in a very stiff relationship between the two people, and everyone eats together, and the atmosphere is like an ice cellar.
In short, the mother-in-law has all kinds of dissatisfaction and number of dissatisfaction with Sun Jing, in life, Sun Jing and Zhang Hao are generally housework equal, but in the eyes of the mother-in-law, men can not do housework, always nag Sun Jing to say that she is lazy.
Every time the mother-in-law sees her son doing housework, she will keep breaking her thoughts, saying that she is not considerate enough as a wife, does not care about the family, does not know how to serve people, and forgets to do what a woman should do. In the face of these feudal ideas of her mother-in-law, Sun Jing could not persuade her, and felt that her mother-in-law was stubborn in her thinking, so she simply did not refute them, she just said that she listened.
Who knew that the more the mother-in-law's words were spoken, the more ugly it was, and the neighbors around her pointed out to her, and Sun Jing, who heard the rumors, couldn't stand it, so she would retort with her mother-in-law. This time, the mother-in-law can be regarded as seizing the opportunity, saying that Sun Jing's rebuttal is a strong word, saying that Sun Jing is strong and not filial piety, saying that she does not put her mother-in-law in her eyes at all, Sun Jing listened to these words, and her heart was really wronged.
As the contradiction between Sun Jing and her mother-in-law gradually deepened, Zhang Hao was really embarrassed in the middle, although Zhang Hao said that he would definitely stand on Sun Jing's side, but sometimes he would favor his mother because of blood relations. It is also because he really can't change his mother's thinking, he always lets Sun Jing compromise, and over time, Sun Jing is even more bored, quarreling with Zhang Hao, and still in front of the child.
Slowly, the relationship between Sun Jing and Zhang Hao also underwent subtle changes, because Zhang Hao did not fulfill his promise to protect Sun Jing for a lifetime, which made Sun Jing very upset, and she not only had a stiff relationship with her mother-in-law, but also had a cold war with Zhang Hao. Sometimes, two people do not speak for several days, and their speech is also a sour tone, and all of this is seen by the six-year-old son, although he does not speak, but his heart is also muttering, and he hates grandma here.
That day, because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, Sun Jing and Zhang Hao quarreled, and the two people talked about yin and yang, which inevitably aggravated the disgust in each other's hearts, just because because of a sentence or divorce, the two people immediately became a battle mode. When these two people quarreled, the mother-in-law came, and she added oil and vinegar to the side, and followed the accusation, saying that Sun Jing was not here, not there. Sun Jing listened to the grievances and cried in the living room, saying that she was not ladylike and that if she did not solve this matter well, she would get a divorce.
Unexpectedly, at this time, the son who had been silent in the room for a long time spoke: "Are you bothered?" ”
He came out and asked his grandmother, "Why don't you go back to your house?" This is my home, you shouldn't be here, if you don't come, my parents won't quarrel, why do you want to live here? Can you go back to your hometown in the countryside and don't stay here? ”
When the grandson said something, the mother-in-law was also shocked to hear it, and asked: "Good grandson, what are you talking about, is it your mother who taught you?" How can you say that about me, I'm your grandmother, what's wrong with me living here? ”
So the son cried loudly and said, "If it weren't for you, my parents wouldn't want to divorce, since you came, you always think that my mother did something wrong, and my parents often quarreled, all because you were nosy, they quarreled, if you don't leave, I will leave, I let my parents take me out." ”
Although it is a joke of a child, but the mother-in-law listened, her heart is not very tasteful, when she heard these words, Sun Jing cried even harder, and said: "Yes, the family and harmony were not good before, you see now it is like this, and if you continue to argue, this family will be scattered." ”
Because of the grandson's words, they did not continue to quarrel, and it was also from then on, in order to avoid being disliked, the mother-in-law began to control her temper, no longer managed as much as before, not to make her son difficult, nor to let her grandson be wronged.
For marriage, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is indeed difficult to deal with, but the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not a way to do so, people's hearts are long, there are not many elders, can bear to see children hurt.
For the pivot of maintaining the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, most women will think that it is a man, and it is the responsibility that the husband should bear, indeed, the barometer of the relationship between the man is a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the attitude of the man affects the direction of the mother-in-law relationship. If you can't do a bowl of water, it will inevitably affect the feelings of the husband and wife, but it is worth noting that in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the child may also become a breakthrough to ease the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
There is an old saying that "parents and children are relatives of the next generation", the operation of the mother-in-law relationship also requires certain skills, men are the barometer of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, if the husband is difficult to do, even if there is no man in the link, the child can also become a secret weapon to communicate the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and crack the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Smart women, when they encounter contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law after marriage, will inevitably not attack, and will skillfully use their children and husbands to maintain their position in the in-laws' family, so that they can become a helper for them to ease the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Speaking of which, the feelings between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law need to be helped by outsiders, and two women are also required to communicate with each other, sincerely think in a different position, and consider each other more.
In the same family, under one roof, if two people are always cross-brow and cold, the relationship is stiff, not only are the two people uncomfortable, but the whole family atmosphere will become cold because of the stalemate between the two people.
Home should be a harbor of love, is the source of happiness, mother-in-law relationship, once one party does not cooperate, not willing to bow, then the relationship between the two people can not be coordinated, the family can not prosper, the last family's happiness will be reduced, this is undoubtedly a situation that the family does not want to see.
Today's topic: Is the relationship between you and your mother-in-law good? Welcome to leave a message.
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★ Author: YIBAO; emotional original author, writing about the cold and warm of the world, looking at the world.