What do you value most when evaluating a person?
Words and deeds are one.
How can you effectively persuade others that you can't practice "words and deeds"?
However, there are many "celebrities" in Chinese history who have another interpretation of their own practice. For example, Kang Youwei, his understanding of "husband and wife" is: "Two joys are compatible, and two hatreds are separated." Although he repeatedly advocated "monogamy", he and his six wives did not reach the level of "two hatreds and separation".
Kang Youwei's eldest wife, Zhang Yunzhu, was the daughter of her maternal uncle Zhang Yuqiao, and Aikang was studious and intelligent, so she gave her daughter Xu to him, and the marriage was arranged by the parents of both parties. In 1876, Kang Youwei, who was nineteen years old, married Zhang Yunzhu, who was twenty-two years old. Mrs. Zhang was three years older than him, had a gentle and virtuous temperament, and after marriage, she was very filial to Kang's mother, "diligent and diligent all day, without a little time", able to understand the human body, and try her best to support Kang's cause.
Kang Youwei's second wife, Liang Suijue, was a native of Boluo County, Guangdong Province. She is literate and hyphenated, and she knows a little bit of ink. She cherished and cared for Every Word of Kang Youwei' paper, collected and preserved many handwritings of Kang Youwei's letters, and became an important material for studying Kang Youwei's later life. In 1897, he married Kang Youwei, and soon after the marriage, the change of law failed, and Kang took the young wife on a long road of exile.
Liang Suijue has also become one of the most knowledgeable and traveled countries in the female circle in modern China, leaving her figure in major countries and places in Asia, Europe and the United States. In the remote and isolated Darjeeling, India, life is extremely hard, under the huge blow of the loss of her young son, Lady Liang endured grief and carefully arranged everything, and Kang Youwei was able to sneak into his ideal kingdom with peace of mind and complete the "Datong Book".
Therefore, when Kang Youwei married the next four wives, he was already an "old husband".
The third wife, He Xuli, is an American overseas Chinese. At that time, 49-year-old Kang Youwei was in the western United States, and was warmly welcomed by local overseas Chinese and invited him to give a speech. He Xuli has received a rigorous education since childhood, not only familiar with Chinese culture, but also proficient in the Four Chinese Dialects. Therefore, after she heard about this, she also came to the scene.
Only to see Mr. Kang standing on the podium with great enthusiasm, passionately stating his "concept of national salvation", everyone was immersed in the beautiful future he depicted. After that, he turned the topic around and talked about the "issue of equality between men and women", saying: "Although there are gender differences between men and women, everything else is the same, and equality between men and women must be implemented. At that time, He Xuli in the audience was impressed by Mr. Kang's arrogance and thoughts.
As soon as the speech was over, she ran to the front and expressed her "reverence". Mr. Kang looked at the beautiful woman in front of him, and at her request, he spoke in detail about modern scientific views, some movements in the West, and the Penghu reform method. Therefore, the two have a very good impression of each other. Before Mr. Kang left, he tentatively wrote a letter to He Xuli, saying that he wanted to publicize his "theories" in various countries and would also set up a company, and if he could have a "confidant" who knew foreign languages and could speak to help him, what a great honor it would be.
After He Xuli received the letter, he was naturally very happy, and after that, the two began to "send letters and affection", and the feelings were further deepened. Later, these love letters reached the hands of the second wife.
At that time, He Xuli learned that Mr. Kang was leaving for Europe to process a large donation, and because he was reluctant to leave, he told his family about two people. Up and down the He family, no one does not object:
First, the age difference between the two is more than 30 years;
Second, Mr. Kang's identity is not good, and he is a "Chin criminal" wanted by the Qing Dynasty.
However, He Xuli insisted on marrying, and the family had to give up.
After marriage, the two ran all over the world, and He Xuli gave Mr. Kang a lot of help by virtue of her language advantage, and he was extremely loved.
In 1913, Kang's mother died, Mr. Kang returned to China for mourning, and the family settled in The Xin Family Garden in Shanghai. But a year later, He Xuli actually suffered from scarlet fever and left, this year she was 24 years old. This incident dealt a great blow to Mr. Kang, and every time on his death day, he would burn incense and cry in front of her spirit. Every year in the early morning, he would personally go to the tomb to sacrifice, and he was very old, and he knelt in front of the tomb and cried bitterly.
Therefore, in order to commemorate his "beloved wife", Kang Youwei let Xu Beihong, who stayed in the Xin family garden, paint according to the remains of the deceased. Later, the descendants of the Kang family donated this painting to the Shanghai Museum, which is an early work of Xu Beihong.
His fourth wife, Tsuruko Ichioka, was a Japanese. At that time, Yasuyuki went into exile in Japan, met Tsuruko Ichioka, and brought him back to China.
There are two versions of her story:
In the first version, although Mr. Kang is very kind to the fourth wife, she is a foreigner and it is difficult to integrate culturally. In addition, the Kang family is a big family, and all aspects are coordinated, which is a very test of wisdom. So, in 1924, although Ichioka Tsuruko became pregnant, she still resolutely chose to return to China, and soon after gave birth to a daughter, but in the end, she committed suicide in the suburbs.
Many of these reasons, along with the death of Tsuruko Ichioka, become unsolvable mysteries.
The other version is somewhat tragic.
Tsuruko Ichioka came to the Kang family as a "maid", and did not live much on weekdays, and got along with everyone very happily. Because Mr. Kang likes to travel, he often takes her with him.
After that, after spending a long time together, Mr. Kang decided to marry Mrs. Yifang again. At that time, the age gap between the two was very large. The eldest young master of the Kang family, similar to Ichioka Tsuruko, studied at a local university, talked a lot, and was full of vitality. The two talked very well, and on her 20th birthday, the young master invited her to go out to play.
As a result, the two collided with sparks.
This surprised and delighted Tsuruko Ichioka, she did not expect that the young master was such a sentimental person. But on the other hand, her heart is very afraid, if this matter is known by others, it will be an earth-shattering event. Therefore, the two hid this matter very well, on the surface it was still a mother-son relationship, but behind the scenes, it was a pair of lovers. The relationship lasted for eight years and went undetected.
However, suddenly one day Ichioka Tsuruko felt extremely unwell, lost her appetite, and was nauseated, and she became pregnant. This made her panic and uneasy, and the condemnation in her heart overwhelmed her, except for the young master, she had no one to discuss.
However, the young master's approach was just to secretly dispose of the fetus, but there was no better way. At this time, Tsuruko Ichioka made a surprising decision to return to China. Soon after, she gave birth to her daughter Ayako. Kang Youwei had written to ask her to go back, and the eldest young master had also secretly entrusted someone to inquire about her news. However, she has decided not to have any contact with the Kang family, so she concealed her identity and completely broke off contact with the Kang family.
At the beginning, Ichioka Tsuruko made the decision to return to China, presumably because she did not want to give up her right to be a mother.
Although she did not live well in Japan and barely made ends meet, she said nothing about her past. After that, the daughter went to learn tailoring after finishing elementary school, and married someone just after her independence. Eventually, when Tsuruko Ichioka was 74 years old, she suddenly told her whole secret. Stunned by this, Ayako began to search for her biological father, and returned to Taiwan in 1970 to confess her relatives.
Four years later, Tsuruko Ichioka said she was going out for a walk, but she never came back. Instead of going to the nearby Parc des Princes, she walked to the tracks and faced the roaring train. It is said that she wrote these words in her suicide note: "Nostalgia for the past, the torment of life has made me physically and mentally haggard." "Has she been living in self-blame for so many years and finally wants to really liberate herself in this way?"
Kang Youwei's fifth wife was named Liao Dingfu, and when she married Kang Youwei, she was also about 18 years old. Liao Dingfu's information is not detailed, but according to people, Kang Youwei was nearly 40 years older than Liao Dingfu when he married her.
Kang Youwei's sixth wife, Zhang Guang, was a wife he had carefully cultivated.
In 1919, Mr. Kang was wandering by the lake in Hangzhou, and suddenly saw a woman who was "Huan Sha", which felt like Xi Shi reappeared, so he was busy asking people to inquire. After that, when he learned that the other party was not yet married, he went to propose to him.
At the beginning, people also thought he was too old and unwilling. Later, at the insistence of Kang Youwei, the Poor Zhang family agreed. The wedding was held in Shanghai, and relatives and friends came to celebrate, but the wives and concubines and children of the family collectively "resigned". Zhang Guang had never read a book, and Mr. Kang specially invited a tutor, and calligraphy was taught by him personally.
However, the two did not have children for many years after marriage, so they adopted Zhang Guang's niece. In 1927, Mr. Kang passed his 70th birthday and went to Qingdao. At that time, a fellow countryman invited him to dinner, and before the feast had dispersed, he felt a huge pain in his abdomen. Back at home, he asked a Japanese doctor to see a doctor, diagnosed with food poisoning, and the next day Kang Youwei died suddenly.
Kang Youwei's death hit Zhang Guang hard, but the etiquette at that time did not allow her to remarry. Therefore, the only thing she can do is to look at the calligraphy and paintings that her husband left for herself every time she misses it. However, this move of hers was remembered by "people with hearts". In 1945, as before, she opened the box, but it was empty and she immediately fainted.
At this point, Zhang Guangyi fell ill and died soon after.
Zhang Jianwei once mentioned some "anecdotes" of Mr. Kang in "The Year of Wen Gu Peng Shu", saying that when he fell into Shanghai, he was chased by prostitutes to collect debts. However, in his later years, Kang Youwei's life was extremely rich. Some people have calculated that in the 14 years he lived in Shanghai and Jiangnan in his later years, the entire Kang family spent no less than 20,000 silver yuan per year, which is equal to the current 800,000 yuan. In addition, in addition to his six wives, he had more than a dozen children, many servants, and the janitors were Indians.
In normal times, there are many protégés and diners who come to him, and when there are fewer than ten people, he is very attentive. Once upon a time, Xu Beihong and Cai Yuanpei were all his guests. Therefore, these expenses cannot be maintained by Mr. Kang alone selling articles and words. According to historical records, when he was the leader of a constitutional party, he accepted the party's "supply". However, at the time of his death, the second wife said that the family could not even get the money to buy the coffin. At that time, it was the warlord Zhang Zongchang who sent money to handle the matter.
As we all know, Kang Youwei has fled to a foreign land several times in his life to evade the government's "arrest", and it is inevitable that some ideas of Western studies will be mixed in his thinking. However, the middle school still occupies the main position, so that there are many "opposites" in its words and deeds, which makes posterity quite critical.
Therefore, some of his "refutations" by later generations are also understandable.
Resources:
[Draft History of the Qing Dynasty, Volume 473, Kang Nanhai Self-Chronicle, Guangxu Dynasty East China Record]