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It is said that "hope for a son to become a dragon, hope for a daughter to become a phoenix".
In the concept of Chinese family education, we are accustomed to entrusting the unfinished business of our lives to our children's descendants in order to achieve it.
As a result, we can often see "chicken and baby education" in news or parenting programs.
It seems that the results of study tests can intuitively determine whether a child will be productive when he grows up.
But this criterion does not seem to be entirely effective, especially as more and more "small-town problem makers" emerge.
We found that some people did well in school and went to good universities when they were young, but when they grew up, they "disappeared".
Being a nobody, it is difficult to coincide with the definition of "productive" in the minds of parents.
Then we can't help but ask, how can we see whether a child will be productive when he grows up.
According to Mr. Guo Jiji, associate professor of China University of Political Science and Law and founder of "Inheritance Knows".
The key to judging whether a child can meet the secular sense of "productive performance" when he grows up depends on the early years.
See if the child has a certain ability to act.
More generally, it depends on whether the child has good qualities such as diligence and self-discipline that can be used for a lifetime.
Here to provide parents with a more intuitive judgment method, that is, you can observe whether the child does housework at home on weekdays.
Some readers may question this when they see this, because whether a person can succeed in the future is the result of a combination of factors.
It may be too hasty to judge what a child can achieve as an adult simply by whether or not they do housework.
But according to a recent psychological survey study by Harvard University:
Compared with children who love to do housework at home and children who do not like to do housework, the employment rate after entering society is about 5:1.
In terms of income, the former will pay an average of 20% more than the latter.
In addition, children who love to do housework also have a happier married life after starting a family.
In the parenting concept of most families, many parents or grandparents, grandparents of the previous generation, are reluctant to let their children do housework, thinking that doing housework will take up children's study or extracurricular tutoring time.
However, a questionnaire survey conducted by a domestic research institute on nearly 20,000 student families showed that:
Among high-achieving children, the proportion of children who do housework is 27 times higher than the proportion of children who do not do housework.
This is a staggering number, and we often joke: "If you don't sweep a room, you can sweep the world".
It turns out that whether children participate in housework at home on a daily basis is closely related to whether they can "productive" in adulthood.
In response to this phenomenon, here I may wish to share with you a situation I encountered in the process of psychological counseling.
Last weekend, one of my visitors was Sister Li.
I was touched to tell me about a moment in her life with her 22-year-old daughter.
Sister Li unfortunately suffered from breast cancer this year and had to be hospitalized.
Sister Li's husband accompanied her to the hospital for surgery, leaving her 22-year-old child Xiaomei at home alone.
Originally, the whole family was anxious about Sister Li's illness.
But Xiaomei called one after another during Sister Li's surgery.
The purpose is not to care about my mother's health or condition, but because "you and Dad have gone to the hospital, so who will cook for me at noon?"
Or "Auntie help me ask my mom what I have for lunch at home?"
It made Sister Li feel crying and laughing and helpless at the same time.
The 22-year-old daughter cannot live independently, and she has to rely on her parents like a giant baby, which feels ridiculous and ridiculous.
In fact, knowing how to share household chores is a compulsory course for children in the process of growing up.
In the Chinese view of parenting of "only test score theory".
Many parents think that their children have studied hard enough and that doing housework is a complete waste of time.
As everyone knows, behind the simple "housework", it reflects a child's ability to act, self-control, sense of responsibility, sense of belonging and sense of self-worth, which are necessary for a sound personality.
From the perspective of psychological development, individuals will always tend to expect to stay in their familiar "comfort zone".
The inert gene is present in each of our instincts, especially for children who have never been in the world.
Therefore, the habit of sharing household chores is not easy to develop because it is affected by innate resistance.
It requires us to mobilize a certain range of action and self-control.
But it will also bring us positive reinforcement, helping children gain a sense of accomplishment, self-worth and belonging.
Housework is a daily activity that every family member should share.
It has a positive impact on the formation of children's good habits and the healthy development and cultivation of character.
At the same time, it can also be used as a basis for judging whether a child can grow up and be productive.
Parents may wish to include it as part of their children's education, making housework a win-win option for both children and parents.
- The End -
Author | Sun Rong
Edit | Rain
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205