In the past two days, Liu Yifei's bullying incident has attracted the attention of the whole network.
At the beginning, someone broke the news on the Internet: "I beat Tianxian several times when I was a child, and now I want to see her, and I have to open a member." ”
And in the face of the condemnation of netizens, he still doesn't care: "I've already beaten it, and the things I did when I was a child can't be changed." ”
Although the truth of the matter has not yet been determined, this unrepentant attitude really angered netizens.
Immediately afterwards, Liu Yifei once had an interview about bullying and was picked up. During the interview, Liu Yifei said that he was particularly depressed for a period of time and was always bullied. Sometimes she was sitting well in class, and suddenly a girl came over and pulled her hair and drew something on her with a pen.
Liu Yifei, who was bullied, quarreled with them and told the principal about these things the next day. Several bullies ended up being fined a week without classes.
This interview has once again ignited public opinion, and so far, the topic has been viewed as high as 560 million.
In fact, school bullying has not been mentioned for the first time, and the voices of public figures can still be heard, but in the hidden corners that we can't see, more people can only endure humiliation and swallow their grievances silently.
【1】
In the documentary "Talking to Strangers", Wang Jingjing told her life of being bullied.
When she was in school, a classmate broke her cup during a fight, and Wang Jingjing said casually at the same table, what about this cup of 3 million?
No one expected that this joke would soon spread to the whole school, attracting countless people to point fingers at her.
Some people advertised that she claimed that the cup was "3 million" just to embarrass her classmates, some ridiculed her buckteeth, and there were artificial rumors that she was a sex worker.
Basins of dirty water were poured on her, and gradually, she became a "goddess" who showed off her wealth, plastic surgery, and countless boyfriends in the mouths of her classmates.
Walking on the road, the strange senior sister will stop her and suddenly slap her a dozen times.
There were many onlookers, but none of them stepped forward to stop them.
A boy pretended to be an admirer, tricked her into wearing a photo of her wearing underwear, posted it to the school post, and set off a round of slut humiliation against her.
The daily bullying at school made Wang Jingjing completely collapse. She committed suicide by swallowing 40 pills and was promptly rescued by her family. As a result, when he turned his head, some people mocked: This trick is too old-fashioned, and he has the ability to really die.
At the best age, Wang Jingjing always lived in the shadow of school bullying.
Years later, when the reporter contacted the abuser again, not only did they not have the slightest remorse, but they put all the fault on Wang Jingjing, leaving only an indifferent "one slap does not make a sound".
We are all too familiar with such arguments. Whenever bullying occurs, there are always people who question: why are others okay, why are they hitting you?
But the reality is that a lot of bullying happens without a reason, only malice without cause.
As in Keigo Higashino's novel "Malice", when the abuser is asked why he only bullies this child, they say: "There is no reason, just to see him unhappy." ”
In the eyes of the abuser, no matter who you are, whether you make a mistake or not, you can always find a reason to vent your inner dissatisfaction. They don't care what kind of pain they bring to others, and they don't feel guilty, they will only satisfy their inner malice.
Scary? You never know for what reason you will be bullied.
The victim this time is Liu Yifei, who will it be next time?
【2】
In this incident where Liu Yifei was bullied, what made people angry was not only the bullying itself, but also the attitude that the bully did not care. It seems that in their eyes, this is just a small matter of age.
This reminds the pickpocket sister of a video she watched on the Internet.
At a class reunion, the bully held a microphone and apologized to the bullied girl with a smile: "I'm really sorry, because I was young and frivolous." ”
In a follow-up interview, some of them laughed and said: Everyone has forgotten such a small thing.
A fluttering phrase of "youthful frivolity" wants to blur the harm suffered by the victim.
The phrase "everyone forgot" wants to gag the victim's mouth.
What if you apologize, doesn't the hurt exist?
In fact, it is the "little things" that are irrelevant to them that make the victims step by step to the brink of collapse.
Remember the little actor Shao Yibu who worked with Yang Mi and Deng Chao?
On November 7, 2021, on a very ordinary weekend, she said to her mother, "I'm going for a run," and jumped down from the sixth floor.
Although a life was saved, many of the injuries caused by this jump were irreversible.
At this time, the mother knew what her daughter had gone through at school.
At first, the classmates openly called her "green tea" and "disgusting" in the classroom, and soon this rumor mongering evolved into isolation and exclusion, even if a classmate talked to her, she would be pulled away and warned not to play with her.
When the rolls were sent to Shao Yibu in the class, they were deliberately skipped by the classmates, and when they touched her things, they would deliberately make a disgusting look.
The teacher praised the outstanding students, and as soon as Shao Yibu was mentioned, the applause immediately stopped.
There are countless similar things, and it can be said that it was not the last straw that broke Shao Yibu, but every one.
Some people may think that this kind of bullying only happens in school, and it is natural to wait until it enters society. But a large number of people, after recovering from physical injuries, have never been able to overcome that hurdle in their hearts.
Even if you walk out of school, that painful experience will follow like a maggot with bones.
"Strange Words" debater Huang Zhizhong, because of the experience of being bullied, has a psychological shadow on children.
He hated children of that age from the bottom of his heart, and this disgust not only did not disappear with age and the maturity of the three views, but became more and more intense.
His experience is not unique, and if you search the Internet, you can see how many people are unable to let go of the bullying they received as children.
As Huang Zhizhong said: "In everyone's heart, there is a hole caused by your previous experience, and you have spent your whole life filling it with dissatisfaction." ”
Not all damage can be smoothed out by time. The bully's phrase "I didn't understand things when I was a child" is a lifelong shadow for the victim and needs to be healed with a lifetime.
【3】
So where is the way out for the victims? What should we do when we are bullied?
This point Liu Yifei's practice is worth referring to, she did not blindly choose to endure, nor did she fight with the abuser, but sought the help of teachers and principals.
Regarding school bullying, the Supreme People's Procuratorate gives the "NOT" principle.
N stands for NO, O stands for OFF, and T stands for TALK.
Be brave enough to say no, seize the opportunity to flee, and speak up.
French psychologist Liz Bardory pointed out in the book: "When some children bully others, they are not completely to cause harm to the other party, but just want to know where the bottom line of the bullied child is." ”
Don't choose silence because you're afraid, patience and concessions will only lead to more brazen harm.
Another key to stopping bullying in schools and preventing tragedies lies with each and every one of us. When children fall into the dilemma of school bullying, outside help is their last resort.
These hands may come from parents.
A girl in Zhengzhou chose to run away from home because she was bullied at school.
After her father knew what happened, he told her as soon as possible: "Who beat and scolded you? Dad is in charge of you and seeks justice for you! The sky is falling, and Dad is holding it for you. ”
Parents are the strongest support for children, as their closest people, never ignore their call for help. A simple phrase "Don't be afraid, I'm here" is a great support for children.
These hands may come from classmates, friends, neighbors.
In December, a video of a girl beaten at Chenxi Middle School in Hunan Province went viral.
In just two minutes, he was slapped 33 times and kicked 16 times. Because she had no way to ask for help, she could only endure the bullying of her classmates for a long time.
But after the video was seen by the villagers in the same village, the whole village united, and it was bound to ask for an explanation for the girl.
In the end, it was only with their severe complaints that the victims received the punishment they deserved.
No one condones this violence, and the kindness of this group of villagers not only holds up an umbrella for the girl to shield from the wind and rain, but also makes the story have a different ending.
These hands may also come from strangers who meet in Pingshui.
Recently, I swiped a video on the Internet, which is extremely moving.
At a restaurant, a girl was abused by her classmates for her short hair. Just as the bully intensified, the short-haired girl on the side stood up domineeringly: "I said don't move her." ”
The bully quibbled: "I'm teaching her what a girl is, and girls in our school all have long hair." ”
The girl directly stunned back: "I don't need you to teach, which one are you?" Why can't you be kind to your classmates, you are still young. ”
"I'm also short hair, neutral style, are you talking about me?"
"Now she's my friend."
Several bullies were speechless by the short-haired girl and left in ashes. Then the girl called the bullied girl to her side and told her:
"If someone says you, girls should look like girls, you don't have a second to doubt yourself and stare back in your own way."
When being bullied, encountering help from strangers, Sister Pickpocket believes that this simple and warm sense of justice will also become a light that illuminates the girl.
【4】
Martin Luther King Jr. said, "The greatest tragedy of social transformation that history will remember is not the noise of the bad guys, but the silence of the good guys." ”
The silence of the outside world is the greatest refuge for the perpetrator. And only when the opposition is louder and louder, will there be fewer and fewer similar bullying incidents.
Everyone has the power to prevent tragedy from happening, and are you willing to be that person?