Since screenwriter Shi Hang was exposed to sexual harassment, more than 20 women have come out to speak out.
Image source: Weibo
This co-screenwriter of "Iron Tooth Copper Tooth Ji Xiaolan", the prologue recommender of "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise", and a cultural person from the Central Academy of Drama, personally "betrayed literature".
The sexual harassment cases exposed include verbal and physical sexual harassment, "kissing ears", "touching thighs", "holding hands around the waist", "greeting appearance", etc., spanning up to ten years.
In the face of various allegations from girls, Shi Hang responded on social platforms: "There is no sexual harassment, and I have different degrees of interaction with several parties, including exes who have had stable relationships. ”
In just one sentence, the dull pain of dozens of girls fluttered by, the serious sexual assault incident was rationalized, and the verbal harassment was glorified as "merry talk", just to show one thing: he did nothing wrong.
Image source: Weibo
However, everyone has a scale in their hearts. Is it really a normal emotional life to date more than two dozen women in ten years? This is only the number of people who speak out online, and how many have not been exposed?
You know, the physical and mental damage of sexual harassment to women is heavy and long-lasting. If the slightly powerful people can harass women unscrupulously under the guise of professionalism and under the umbrella of the industry, how can we protect our daughters?
01
The structural dilemma of women being harassed
After the incident, Shi Hang said: "I have never violated the will of women, nor have I used my so-called position of power to violate anyone." ”
However, power and status are his obvious advantages, and whether it is "subjective use" or not, the influence exerted on the harassed person is undeniable and cannot be ignored.
The legal definition of rape is "three noes", which refers to the situation in which women cannot resist, dare not resist, or do not know how to resist in the face of abuse.
The oppression of women by positions of power eventually falls on "dare not resist".
Image credit: Unsplash
Xiao Mo, the harassed party, wrote in the "small essay": I want to refuse, want to resist, but I am worried that I will be known by people who have intersections at work, what should I do? Will it not be possible to show people as a professional in the future? Will people with status be expelled from the circle they desperately want to integrate into in a few words?
If girls are actually sexually assaulted, they may be more likely to resist.
But it is such sexual harassment that has no substantial evidence, is easily considered "flirting" by bystanders, and seems to be painless, allowing high-ranking people to wander in the gray area, and also makes countless girls feel disgusting, but they cannot say no.
These pains are so real and concrete that every woman in a patriarchal society feels the same way.
As a mother, I used to be a girl too. I was touched on the chest and thighs by a taxi driver, asked by a university teacher to go to his bachelor dormitory, and verbally harassed by a leader who had met in the workplace.
Although they all got away with it, it also shows that sexual harassment of women is not an exception, but a structural problem. From the campus to the workplace, from acquaintances to strangers, the sexual harassment experienced by women is everywhere.
02
Why are girls powerless to resist?
From a psychological point of view, the inability of sexually harassed girls to resist has complex psychological reasons.
Many girls have been educated to be an excellent person since childhood, they have a "Muqiang" mentality, and when they encounter a figure with a face in the industry, or even have abnormal contact, the first reaction is to feel honored, rather than should be vigilant.
"Maybe that's the peculiar taste of great people?" "Could it be that I'm too ignorant to understand the entertainment of high society?" Girls will use self-criticism to rationalize each other's obvious transgressions.
As if only in this way can you be worthy of talking to the strong and becoming part of their circle.
Image source: Weibo @Blacktailgull1988
As the harassment occurred, the girl began to worry about whether she would lose her job if she didn't do it. Will it be excluded? On the contrary, if you can satisfy the other person, will it help your own survival?
After all, using sex as a resource is the discipline of society as a whole for women.
Worries about the future and the subconscious exchange of benefits prevent women from taking a definite attitude of defiance.
Finally, after the violation occurs, many women will have a sense of shame, fear that their harassment will be known by others, worry that they will have a negative image in the minds of others, and worry that their achievements at work will be regarded by others as the product of the exchange of sexual resources.
As a result, such incidents can remain hidden for decades, hidden from harassers and victims.
Image credit: Unsplash
From a physiological point of view, when women are extremely afraid, they are forced to "force rest" or enter a paralyzed state, although the brain wants to resist, but the body cannot do what it should.
So, stop asking the girl why she didn't refuse. The courageous resistance of girls when violated is a good expectation, not a universal standard.
03
Teach girls how to protect themselves
Many people say that what we should do is not educate women to protect themselves, but men not to violate others.
The truth is true, but in the current unfriendly environment of gender education, it must be beneficial for girls to have more ability to protect themselves.
As parents, we can tell our children this:
Do not enter the private space of men
For example, men's homes, private cars, offices, hotel rooms, etc., especially do not accept men's separate invitations, even if there are important matters that must go, you must find a work partner or friend to go together.
Follow your heart's will
When considering whether to have intimate sex with men, put your feelings first, and if you don't want to, you must decisively say "no", rather than thinking about what the other party will think and what consequences will occur after you reject the other party.
Withdraw promptly when encountering violations
When encountering harassment and abuse, leaving the aggressor is the first priority, and there is nothing more important than one's physical and mental health without considering the impact on one's future.
In a state of extreme fear, girls may misjudge danger and underestimate the risks and harms that exist. The best way to do this is not to evaluate and withdraw immediately.
Image source: Readmoo Interview with Lin Yihan
"Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise" tells the story of a girl who is used and seduced by a make-up teacher, and is seduced by the teacher step by step.
Author Lin Yihan, who is also a victim of sexual assault, borrowed the words of the protagonist of the book and said: "Even if her pain is divided equally among everyone on the earth, everyone will be out of breath." ”
Similar pains happen to us all the time. This also requires parents to be vigilant and provide girls with the necessary sex education, so that they can mature physically and psychologically.
Only with adequate education and guidance can girls soberly refuse and clearly resist in the face of sexual harassment, and protect themselves with legal weapons.
May every girl no longer fear the darkness and have a bright sun in life.