In January 1942, Xiao Hong's tuberculosis worsened and he was sent to Hong Kong Happy Valley Sanatorium and Hospital, where he was unable to eat or drink due to a quack misdiagnosis of a laryngeal tumor and a very weak body.
After that, Xiao Hong was transferred to Mary Hospital, and the next day her spirit gradually recovered. But on January 22, Xiao Hong passed away, ending a tragic and short life at the age of 31.
At the time of his death, Xiao Hong wrote down the words of sadness unwillingly:
"I will live forever with the blue sky and blue water, leaving the half of the Red Mansion for others to write"
"Half my life was met with a cold eye... Die first, unwilling, unwilling"
"My greatest sorrow and pain is being a woman."
The few 3 sentences are Xiao Hong's summary of her short and desolate life, and it is also her last cry to the world.
It's easy to say goodbye to the world, that's a necessity in life; But saying goodbye to yourself is the most difficult reluctance, after all, I have not expressed myself completely, leaving only many regrets.
One: The vision of the Hulan River
On June 1, 1911, Xiao Hong was born into a landowning family in Hulan County, Heilongjiang Province, the eldest daughter of the Zhang family.
However, her birth did not bring joy to the family.
On the contrary, because she was born on the day of the Dragon Boat Festival in the lunar calendar, she was considered a bad omen by her father; In addition, she is a daughter, which makes her parents dislike her very much.
After the birth of her brother, her situation became even more difficult. When she was 9 years old, her mother died, and her father married her stepmother, which was even harsher even harder.
Fortunately, her grandfather was very enlightened and taught Xiao Hong to read and write, and recited the "Thousand Family Poems", and her name was Ying, which was also given by her grandfather.
Her grandfather was the only one in the family who cared for her.
In 1926, her father gave Xiao Hongxu to Wang Enjia, the son of a wealthy businessman, but her dissatisfied nature made her very dissatisfied.
A few years later, Xiao Hong wanted to quit marriage and go to Peiping to study high school.
At that time, her grandfather had died, and the relationship between father and daughter was very bad.
The stubborn Xiao Hong ran away from marriage and went to his cousin Lu Zheshun to study at Peiping University, and entered the Beinu Normal University High School.
This caused an uproar in both companies.
Xiao Hong also paid the price for her willfulness, she lost her family's financial resources, and it was difficult to live in Beiping.
In 1931, Xiao Hong returned home during the winter vacation and was grounded at home by his father. She pretended to agree to the marriage and said that she would go to Harbin to buy a dowry, but she then fled to Peiping.
Soon, the money she brought with her ran out, and her life fell into a quandary situation again.
At this time, she was chased by Wang Enjia and had to return to Hulan, where her father put her under house arrest again and kept her under close surveillance.
Half a year later, Xiao Hong waited for the opportunity to escape and came to Harbin again. Helpless, she lives on the streets, can only go to beg for food, and at night she wanders around and shelters everywhere.
So hungry and cold, it is like being abandoned by the world.
Her father was a patriarchal man, and her home was a prison, especially after her grandfather's death, she had no nostalgia for her home.
When there is a war, it is difficult to make a living, and it is close to the end of the year, and the weather is freezing cold. In order to survive, Xiao Hong had to find Wang Enjia, live with her, and settle in the Harbin Hotel.
The ideals are rich, the reality is skinny.
Xiao Hong, who was once full of confidence in hope and disgust with the world, still compromised in the face of harsh reality.
Soon, Xiao Hong became pregnant, and Wang Enjia's income was very small and she could not afford it, so she had to ask her family for help, but she was unexpectedly detained in Wang's house.
Xiao Hong went to the door to find it, and was told by her brother to break the marriage contract.
Xiao Hong did not agree and took the Wang family to court, but unexpectedly, in court, Wang Enjia turned against him, saying that he advocated the dissolution of the marriage contract, and Xiao Hong lost the lawsuit for this.
Afterwards, Wang Enjia chased him to the hotel to explain and apologize, and Xiao Hong had to reconcile with Wang Enjia in view of her 5-month pregnancy.
But when the boss asked for more than 600 yuan of room and lodging owed by the hotel for half a year, Wang Enjia said that he went home to withdraw the money, and he was gone.
Repeatedly deceived by the Wang family, Xiao Hong was very desperate.
She was locked up by the landlord in a dark and damp utility room on the third floor, like a prisoner.
Two: Half-life adrift
In 1932, Xiao Hong was living like a year, and when she heard that her boss wanted to sell her to a brothel to settle her debts, she made a last-ditch effort, and she wrote to Pei Xinyuan, the editor-in-chief of the International Association, for help:
"The same Chinese, but see death and cannot be saved."
Pei Xinyuan and Xiao Jun rushed to the hotel to visit Xiao Hong, and saw:
The room was extremely dark, musty, the table and bed were full of scattered manuscripts, Xiao Hong was embarrassed, and he was holding up his big belly...
Unexpectedly, after a long conversation between Xiao Jun and Xiao Hong, the two fell in love at first sight, and love fell from the sky, which made Xiao Hong happy.
Xiao Jun was a young writer, Xiao Hong at that time was pregnant with Liujia, and it was naturally Xiao Hong's talent that impressed Xiao Jun.
Xiao Jun casually picked up a manuscript from the cluttered table and looked at it, and was surprised by the literary style on it: "My chest is full of sand and stones, and all I yearn for is the wilderness, mountains and birds..."
Looking at Xiao Hong's pale and determined face, listening to her tell about the dilemma, and then reading the touching text...
Xiao Jun was moved by this downtrodden talented woman.
Xiao Junyou suddenly had a strong desire to protect, and couldn't wait to rescue Xiao Hong.
However, more than 600 yuan is not a small amount, and Xiao Jun's meager manuscript fee is a drop in the bucket. Xiao Jun had to leave 5 cents and promised to find a way to save her.
Maybe it's the help of heaven.
One month later, the water from the Songhua River in Harbin flooded the first floor of the hotel. A kind person reminded Xiao Hong to flee quickly, and Xiao Hong took a small boat and fled to Pei Xinyuan's home.
When Xiao Jun rushed away, Xiao Hong had already left the place of suffering.
This thrill passed safely, which made Xiao Jun and Xiao Hong ecstatic. This time, Xiao Hong decided to beat the world to pieces.
After she gave birth to the child, she gave it away in tears because she was unable to raise it.
The beauty of love made both of them powerless to resist, and the two young people who longed for literature were finally together.
Xiao Hong loved Xiao Jun very purely, and wrote such a sentimental little poem for him:
Only the beauty of love,
San Lang, I'm not cruel,
I just like to see you stand up and sit down,
Sit down and stand up,
During this period,
There is an indescribable wind and moon.
———— Xiao Hong's "Spring Song"
Most women become love brains, Xiao Hong is immersed in the honeypot of love: "When he loves me, I don't have a little strength, and I don't even want to open my eyes."
The two have a feeling of a troubled couple.
Xiao Jun took up the family and found a tutor job, and Xiao Hong spent most of her time at home creating. When the two talented people are also in good condition, they will also organize painting clubs, theater troupes, etc.
During this period, Xiao Hong was inspired by Xiao Jun and her creative enthusiasm was stimulated.
In May 1933, Xiao Hong wrote his first short story "The Death of Sister-in-law Wang", and then published novel essays such as "Looking at Kites", thus embarking on a literary journey.
This year, Xiao Hong was 22 years old.
Since then, her works have gradually enriched, and she has become the main contributor to "Night Whistle", and Er Xiao co-wrote the novel "Trek", but because of this, she was on the pseudo-Manchurian political F blacklist and banned by the Japanese army.
Er Xiao had to flee and never returned to Harbin in his life. The two fled to Qingdao and, with the help of friends, moved into an apartment by the sea.
Because he came with pain, Xiao Hong, who was originally weak, was depressed. Xiao Jun worked in the newspaper, Xiao Hong wrote at home, and in 1934 completed the novel "The Field of Life and Death".
But in the era of military desolation, the life of the two is not stable.
In November 1934, his friend Shu Qun's "Qingdao Morning Post" was blocked, and Er Xiao had to leave Qingdao and rush to Shanghai.
After the two arrived in Shanghai, they rented a small house in the French Concession, and at this time they had no money left, so they had to submit articles to major newspapers, but they were not heard from at all.
Xiao Jun had to write six letters in a row to Lu Xun, who he had never met, to the effect of asking if they were their works.
And every letter Lu Xun answered seriously, which made Er Xiao see the hope of life.
Xiao Hong said with emotion: "In the deserted pavilion, reading his letters, only he comforted the two wandering souls. ”
In December of the same year, Lu Xun finally had lunch with Er Xiao, and Lu Xun introduced the two to Mao Dun, Hu Feng and other writers. Soon, the good news came that someone was willing to publish "The Field of Life and Death".
Xiao Hong's works such as "Little Six", "Hungry" and "Three Boring People" were successively accepted and published, and Xiao Hong gradually became famous and showed her prominence in the Shanghai literary circle.
Lu Xun once proudly said: "It will be Xiao Hong who will replace Ding Ling in the future", and Xiao Hong became popular in the literary circle.
Lu Xun is Xiao Hong's guiding light on the literary road, and her teacher is also a Bo Le, an ideal father, guiding her to continue to create.
It is said that Xiao Hong's reputation in the literary world should be proud, but her health is deteriorating.
And this is all related to Xiao Jun's relationship "red light".
Three: the scars of love
Just when their careers were advancing by leaps and bounds, there was a rift in their relationship. The two quarreled constantly, and the personality conflict became more and more intense.
When you love you, you are true love, and when you don't, you are a stranger.
Xiao Jun even started beating Xiao Hong, he had a violent personality, showed affection everywhere, and had an affair with many women. Xiao Hong was in pain, so long depressed, his physical condition became worse and worse.
She wrote in "The Bitter Cup": "Don't love me anymore! Shang quarreled with me day by day, my heart was broken, and he knew that he was constantly kicking and beating my heart soaked in poisonous pain..."
Xiao Hong lamented in her heart, grieving alone, and when her heart could not be resolved, she often went to Lu Xun's lover Xu Guangping to complain, saying that it was half a day, Xu Guangping had no time, so she asked her son Zhou Haiying to accompany her...
Although Xiao Hong has achieved literary success, emotionally, she feels that she is a failure.
Gu Ying's self-pity from time to time made her exhausted.
In 1936, Xiao Hong decided to separate from Xiao Jun for one year and go east to Japan. But soon after, Lu Xun died, which devastated her.
At this time, Xiao Jun empathized and fell in love with Xu Yuehua, and Xiao Hongou returned to Shanghai after learning about it. Xiao Jun was busy taking care of her miscarriage lover, not caring about her feelings at all, which made Xiao Hong frustrated.
The relationship between Er Xiao obviously cannot go back to the past, and the marriage has existed in name only. In 1937, Xiao Hong embarked on a lonely journey again, leaving Shanghai for Peiping, and then returning to Shanghai.
In September of that year, Xiao Hong met the Northeast writer Duanmu Liang. In February of the following month, Er Xiao tacitly broke up.
Xiao Jun also said: "I said that I love her, that is, I can accommodate her. But it will still be painful, and she will be miserable, but if she doesn't say break up with me first, we will always be husband and wife, and I will never abandon her. ”
After that, Xiao Hong came to Xi'an, started a relationship with Duanmu Haoliang, and went south to Wuhan two months later and held a wedding in Hankou.
And Xiao Jun was not idle, fell in love with Wang Defen and got married.
Four: The end of wandering
Xiao Hong's marriage to Duanmu Haoliang has not been favored by outsiders.
Xiao Hong married Xiao Jun when she was pregnant with Wang Enzu's child, but she gave it away because she couldn't afford it. And when she was pregnant with Xiao Jun's child, she married Duanmu Haoliang, but died 3 days after giving birth to the child.
Xiao Hong was pregnant with a child before and after starting a new relationship, which has always been incomprehensible to the world, and the world is not optimistic about her marriage.
In 1939, Xiao Hong and Duanmu Haoliang settled down in Beibei.
Duanmu Haoliang was a professor in Fudan, and their lives took a turn for the better, during which Xiao Hong completed the novel "Ma Bole" and the long essay "Remembering Mr. Lu Xun", which became a classic.
In 1940, the Japanese invaders bombed Chongqing, and the couple had to flee to Hong Kong, and Xiao Hong created the most mature works in his life such as "The Legend of Hulan River" and "March in a Small Town" in the following one and a half years.
In particular, "The Legend of Hulan River" has become a masterpiece in the world.
But in October 1941, Xiao Hong was found to have tuberculosis.
In January 1942, his condition worsened, and when he was sent to Happy Valley Hospital, he was misdiagnosed by quacks as having a slippery throat and a wrong throat tube. When he was taken to Queen Mary's Hospital, he died soon after at the age of 31.
For Xiao Hong's death, the outside world attributed it to Duanmu Haoliang, believing that when he was in Chongqing and Hong Kong, he wanted to leave Xiao Hong.
And it was Luo Bingji who took care of Xiao Hong in the end.
As for the doubts of the outside world, Duanmu Haoliang did not defend, and lived alone for 18 years, and only married Zhong Yaoqun 18 years later.
Xiao Hong's life is too compassionate, which is embarrassing.
Her tragedy seems to have been doomed from birth, doomed half of the Red Chamber, half of her life, and hastily ended her short life.
She has been adrift and displaced all her life, starting from Hulan in the north city and ending in Hong Kong in the southern city, always fleeing, chasing, from city to city, never stopping.
She had four men and two marriages in her life, but they were all pregnant with other people's children to start new relationships.
gave birth to two children, one could not afford to raise and the other could not live, but in the parting of life and death, wrote the legendary classic "The Legend of Hulan River".
She was Lu Xun's lover, the "literary god" at that time, but she also had ideological limitations and could not break free from the shackles of feelings, thus lamenting that "the female sky is low, and the wings are thin".
However, feelings are not everything, and marriage is not the destination.
The fact that women must see the world through the perspective of men is itself a step backwards of thought.
In this world, what can really save you is not your parents, not your lover, not your children, but yourself.
(The pictures in the article come from the Internet, if invaded, they will be deleted)