Do you know what your child is doing with his phone?
Recently, the father of a 12-year-old girl in Henan shared an experience that made him extremely sad.
By chance, he found that his daughter often got up in the middle of the night to tinker with something, and felt that he was abnormal and maybe because of his identity as a parent of the opposite sex, he did not rush into his daughter's room in the middle of the night, so he told the child's mother.
One night, when my daughter got up in the middle of the night, the child's mother "suddenly attacked" and slammed open the door...
I didn't want to push this and directly opened the "Pandora's box".
Flowers destroyed by space
It turned out that her daughter got up in the middle of the night and was secretly chatting with her mobile phone.
What kind of day do you have to talk in the middle of the night?
Parents immediately noticed that something was wrong, grabbed the mobile phone, and the scale of the content that came into view was so large that any parent had to look black:
Former parents, seeing words such as "baby" and "hug" in their children's chats, would feel a thunderbolt: "Oops, the child is in love!" And attached is a roar education.
And in the chat records of this 12-year-old girl, there are full of explicit yellow pictures and obscene language that induces children to post photos and videos of private parts, and the child is really obedient and obedient;
What's even more shocking is that the daughter talks to more than one person.
This "raid" made the parents discover that their daughter was holding four mobile phones and was chatting with a number of different online strangers!
Shattering the three views, I can't imagine that with the increasing development of network communication technology, it is easier for those dark tentacles to reach out to children.
I can't help but ask, how was the originally simple little girl induced to come to such a situation step by step?
After understanding, the girl's father found:
The child first indulged in short videos, and then added a so-called red envelope grabbing group from an anchor;
After successfully fishing children into the group with money temptation, some people began to "form CP" (Internet parlance, talking about boyfriend and girlfriend) for these girls:
"Are you short of money? Do you have anything to buy? ”
"If you lack money, my sister will buy it for you."
"Sister told you a few male friends, you go and accompany them..."
Finally, unable to bear the "seduction" of people with ulterior motives, girls who have not yet developed their minds formed a "CP" with multiple netizens, and then gradually seduced by each other's red envelopes and sweet words, and the ghost made God use his own body privacy in exchange for red envelopes that were less than a hundred dollars.
Shocking, angry and heartbreaking!
Although only some video photos were posted and there was no actual contact, this is still an undoubted crime:
However, the secrets shaken out of the "Pandora's Box" are more than that...
Not not not self-love, but to "love yourself"
The girl's father revealed that his family usually attaches great importance to gender education and children can encounter this kind of thing, and those families who are ashamed to talk about gender education do not know how many children have been deceived and victimized.
So the question arises - since gender knowledge education is valued, why are children so carelessly deceived?
Some say it's for material things, for money.
But is this girl short of money to spend?
When talking about why the child has so many mobile phones, the child's father said:
"One is for my child, the other is the child's mother's old mobile phone, and the other two are secretly bought by the child with his usual pocket money and annual money."
Pocket money is enough to buy two mobile phones, and the child's mobile phone is bound to the parent's bank card to facilitate the use of money at any time, which shows that the child may be considering that it is profitable, but the deeper reason for this money is by no means the lack of that piece of red envelopes.
There have also been cases of people pretending to be scouts and underage friends to trick children into sending intimate photos under the guise of "debuting as stars", but the girl in this case did not involve this reason.
Then I guess the other reason that is the most likely is for a sense of belonging, identity, and love.
After the incident, the child's father reported the criminals and chose to expose the incident to alert more parents and children;
In the technically processed interview, sure enough, the girl said the reason why she knew that it was not good to do so, but she still couldn't withstand the temptation -
My classmates and friends around me are talking about this kind of topic and want to join them.
Just want to have a common topic with friends, and the reason for this is simple and direct;
At the same time, I am very afraid: how many minors have been tricked into becoming the playthings of criminals in dark corners that parents do not notice?
Who wouldn't hit a child, and then what?
Money, fame, love... When criminals trick minors into obedience, they take advantage of these scarcities of children (especially teenagers).
The more difficult it is for children to get satisfaction in real life and in the family, the more they will find ways to satisfy themselves behind their backs;
At this time, even a few simple tricks can make an immature child willing to put in a lot of enthusiasm.
Only by mastering the fundamental means of lawbreakers can we prevent and protect children from the root;
Instead of being like many impulsive parents, when they find that their children are out of control and do some unreasonable things, they can't wait to teach their children a hard lesson to let them remember:
Things have already happened, what good can it be to cripple a child?
The lack of children still exists, and the lesson learned is that in the future, do this kind of thing more secretly and never be discovered again! So he hides his true self more and more, sinking deeper and deeper;
And some children have realized the mistake, but after a fat beating and scolding in every way, they are even more ashamed and hate themselves, and they dare not tell the truth to their parents, so they do some extreme things.
Once a 15-year-old girl in Guangxi, because she sent private photos to netizens, regretted it, and later when asked by the netizen to send photos, she wanted to refuse, but was threatened by the other party with old photos, saying that she would send photos to her family and classmates, making her discredited...
The girl in the flower season did not want to sink, and was ashamed to ask for help, and chose to commit suicide in despair.
These are by no means the educational effects and endings we want, so the father of the 12-year-old girl above did something very right after discovering the secret in his daughter's mobile phone:
When the child's mother was angry and wanted to beat her daughter, she stopped his wife and firmly stood with her daughter.
At the moment when privacy is exposed and shame is embarrassed, the little girl does not know what unpredictable consequences will occur if she is slapped.
The father who was praised in the comment area just did what parenthood should be, how did he become admirable?
This can only show that parents who can carry things for their children, are emotionally stable, and fully accept and tolerate their children are still "scarce species".
Instead of "raising the soup to stop boiling"
It is better to "draw salaries from the bottom of the cauldron"
In the final analysis, this thing that at first glance "should give children good sex education" is not because children do not know that some things cannot be shown to others, but because there are educational deviations in other aspects.
In addition to wanting to integrate into his partner and gain a sense of belonging, the girl's father also said another deep reason why the child exchanged photos for red envelopes -
The child feels that this is money earned by himself, even if it is a few cents, it feels that it is very meaningful.
So it seems that -
Is it the lack of companionship and attention to children that makes children addicted to short videos?
Is it that the child's sense of self-worth is not guided, and the child is easily influenced by "bad" friends?
Usually, in terms of the education of the concept of money that "relying on the money you earn can be spent with peace of mind", whether it is overkill for the child, resulting in misunderstanding of the child, the child is still so "greedy for money" when there is no shortage of money to spend...
These are the educational points that deserve parents' attention in this matter, not just the superficial "gender knowledge" and "sex education".
As teacher Yin Jianli said:
"A correct view of gender can never exist in isolation, it is part of a person's entire values, outlook on life.
As long as the child has good values and a correct outlook on life, he will definitely have a healthy outlook on both sexes at the same time.
Adolescents have problems such as early pregnancy and sexual abuse, not at all because he knows little about sex, but because of spiritual emptiness, poor moral and emotional development, and lack of self-love and the ability to love others. ”
As for "strictly limit children's use of electronic devices" and "strictly monitor children's social software, chat history"...
These methods, in essence, are no different from the simple and crude control education of "beating", which neither sees the lack behind the child nor hurts the child's self-esteem.
If there are no electronic devices and social networks, people with ulterior motives will also exist, and children will face no less temptations.
Instead of blindly monitoring and prohibiting "pressing the gourd to float the scoop", it is better for us to pay more attention to problems before they occur, deeply see and understand our children, and give them the care they really need;
Instead of irritably throwing a mobile phone to TA to make TA quiet when the child needs us, and expecting TA to consciously resist temptation afterwards;
It is not when the child needs time to grow and mature, directly require TA with perfect standards, and never allow TA to make mistakes;
It is not that when the child is hurt, he directly stands on the opposite side of TA and feels that TA is incurable.
These education methods that destroy children's sense of self-worth and inner security can be called the hardest hit areas in family education;
How can a child who has lost his self-esteem, self-confidence and stabilize himself be expected to have the ability to distinguish the tricks of lawbreakers, protect himself well, and seek help in time?
If our children are tender flowers, they are also plants with strong vitality;
A small pointed flower was damaged by the wind and rain outside, and we were distressed and anxious, all normal;
But as long as you don't continue to suppress and destroy, and insist on careful watering, there will always be more small flowers and bones of various shapes and bones that will continue to grow.