相信很多人都有这种想法，两个宝贝之间怎么去平衡他们的矛盾呢？ It's a big problem.
I was pregnant with Dabao when I was about one year old, and at that time, Dabao had not yet learned to walk.
Since I was pregnant with the second treasure, I cared less about Dabao, and I was unwell at that time, plus Dabao was learning to walk, which was more tiring.
By three months, I was suffering from acute appendicitis, and after going to surgery, I didn't get a good condition because some of them didn't get a good condition, so half a month later I dragged my unrecovered body back to my mother's house.
Dabao is also very sticky to me, maybe every time I want to come close to me, I will always ask her to tap, and my mother can't hold you. Mom has a sister or brother living in her belly.
At this time, Dabao also seemed to be particularly sensible, and his understanding was painful. In this way, until the arrival of the second treasure.
Erbao arrives, and Dabao seems to realize that his love has been robbed. I'm always going to deliberately do something that gets my attention.
Perhaps because of two babies alone, I once suspected that I was depressed, had no money, no one to help, and no one to talk to in those days.
Can you imagine how I spent less than 400 yuan a month alone with two little babies?
这时我的神经随时都是紧绷着的，因为孩子小，年龄差距小，比较容易生病，即使我压抑着不让它爆发，可是总是会影响到孩子。
In this way, Dabao always thought that I held my brother in my arms every day, and I didn't love her, but I loved my younger brother.
What she doesn't know is that I prefer girls because girls can dress up and girls are more intimate.
Since the second treasure was three years old, after being able to have some cognitive ability, I would be more inclined to the big treasure. Because in her heart I always think I don't love her.
Even all along, no matter what the two siblings quarreled over, I would always yell at my brother first, then my sister.
But this did not make Dabao's heart feel that I cared about her. She would even often scold her brother to get noticed.
And my brother would always look at me with grievances, because I would tell him every time that my sister was our little princess and that we should love and care for her. The younger brother is also particularly sensible and rarely bothers with his sister.
I was constantly reflecting on myself, and at this time our family of four was often together, and her father was grumpy when playing games. Every time the child wanted to play with him, or quarreled with him, he would always scold. This makes the child's psychology more vulnerable.
Last year, we earned less because of the pandemic. I had to go out to work, and the father of the child was basically unemployed at home, and the child was supervised by the father.
After work, the child would always tell me that Dad was fierce, and the dishes cooked by Dad were difficult to eat. And I came back from work tired and didn't want to take care of it.
Dabao's rebellious period seems to be particularly long, and one of her words makes me reflect on myself all the time. Until last year, she cried and yelled at me: "You don't love me, you only love your brother, so what else do you give birth to me for?" "At that time, I was particularly sad.
She was already eight years old, and there were still such fierce thoughts that she even told me to kill her that she didn't want to live anymore.
This went on for half a year, and finally in the second half of the year I chose to be full-time. Because I didn't have enough money, I chose to go to work again when the New Year was approaching, and I didn't quit until July this year.
In the past six months, the children have been sensible day by day, knowing that their mothers are tired at work, seeing what others buy, although they want it, they will not clamor for it.
I've been balancing the relationship between her and her brother, and by now, when the kids are older, they're not so depressed, and it's actually not that hard, maybe every marriage has to go through a difficult period of time.
After this time, the child is growing, I am also changing, I am no longer depressed. Treat children with more patience and love.
Spend more time with the child, really let the child feel the love, more tolerance and praise, less scolding, Dabao also began to become cheerful, no longer because of a little small things and brother to fight big.
With love and patience! Let Dabao grow up and be more sensible. I no longer have to deliberately balance the contradictions between them.
Every childhood is worthy of our careful care. May all babies grow up healthy and happy!