«○●—[Boy enters the girls' toilet incident]—●○»
"Are you from the countryside? Can't you have a baby without a womb? No wonder you don't have empathy! ”
Some time ago, with the Harbin Metro women's toilet video being exposed, the question of "whether a boy can follow his mother into the women's toilet" that troubled countless women once again triggered controversy among netizens across the country.
The cause of the matter was very simple, after a girl entered the women's bathroom, she accidentally found a little boy in the unlocked compartment, and the little boy's frightened and helpless expression made her subconsciously take a step back.
Later, she remembered that when she came in, she did not find her mother waiting outside. Out of kindness, she mistakenly thought that the boy had accidentally gone to the wrong bathroom, so she kindly reminded him that the little boy could not enter the women's bathroom.
Who expected that as soon as the words fell, the boy's mother made a loud noise like a fried cat, and no matter how the girl explained it, she stubbornly believed that the girl had hurt her son's young heart.
Perhaps the mother was so protective that she didn't realize that she had risen from weak to aggressive, and the boy cried in fright on the spot.
After hearing the child's cry, the already arrogant mother became more and more emotional, and she demanded that the girl must apologize and forgive her 6-year-old son, otherwise no one would want to get out of the door.
The boy entered the women's toilet because they did not take advantage, coupled with the girl's angry scolding of splitting her head and covering her face, she felt aggrieved in her heart, so she righteously refused this unreasonable request, and took all this with her mobile phone to preserve evidence.
Seeing this, the boy's mother was not to be outdone, she took out her mobile phone and began to shake people, asking the boy's father to quickly come to the women's bathroom to "uphold justice" for her son.
With the intervention of the family and friends group, the boy's mother's arrogance can be described as a hundredfold, and the girl just said "Your child should go to elementary school when he is 6 years old, how can he enter the women's bathroom."
The boy's mother directly opened a personal attack: "You are from the countryside, right? How could he go to elementary school at the age of 6? "You talk so badly, can't you have a child without a womb?" "No children, no wonder you don't have empathy."
The mother was here, and the boy's father saw the girl recording the video, and immediately reached out to shoot her mobile phone, in order to protect her personal safety, she could only pause the recording.
Outragingly, the one-sided verbal abuse lasted nearly 30 minutes, and even as the staff intervened, the boy's mother did not stop her hysteria.
Without staff involved, a real-life bullying incident may not be spared.
After the video was exposed, there was a trend in the comment area that boys under the age of 6 did not have the ability to go to the toilet independently, so it was okay for them to come in with their mothers.
The other side has a clear attitude, believing that the principle that boys should not enter women's toilets should not be broken:
"Is it difficult to understand the reason why there are no men in the women's toilet? Your child is just your child, and others have no responsibility and obligation to be inclusive. ”
"If you had a 6-year-old daughter, would you allow Dad to take her to the men's bathroom?"
"The fact is that boys can't go to the women's bathroom, how can it become a child harm? The girl pokes at the adult's wrong behavior, and as a result, his mother uses the child's heart as a shield. ”
What's more, attacking the boy's mother is a widow's education, and even provoking gender confrontation, adding fuel to the fire.
When the video received widespread attention, the abusive girl posted a post claiming that someone had reported the video for being taken down on the grounds that it violated the other party's portrait rights.
It's all this time, the boy's mother has not yet realized what she is wrong, isn't this a family sadness?
In the whole thing, he was completely unaware of his mistakes, trying to alleviate his psychological guilt by pushing the mistakes onto others, and I believe that most parents have done this.
If the mother had calmed down and used this incident to help her child establish a correct concept of gender, and at the same time educate her child to protect her own and others' privacy, the latter bad thing would not have happened.
«○●—[Boys are not equal to boys]—●○»
In fact, the incident of mothers taking boys into women's bathrooms, women's bathrooms, and women's changing rooms has become the norm.
These places were supposed to be intimate spaces for women, but some unscrupulous parents broke the balance themselves, causing countless troubles for other female compatriots.
Earlier, a netizen broke the news to a blogger, saying that in the swimming pool near his home, every day his mother took boys into the women's bathroom and women's locker room.
The "boys" were almost as tall as adult women, and also developed Adam's apples and thick mustaches.
The malicious eyes, greedy looks, and physiological reactions in her lower body made her feel both ashamed and embarrassed.
When she forcibly found the staff and the child's mother theory, the other party sent her back indiscriminately with words such as "the child is still young, what does he know" and "you are golden, and you are afraid of being seen".
In this regard, she only felt incredible, a boy who looked like he was in junior high school, obviously had the consciousness of bathing and changing clothes independently, why did his mother turn a blind eye and let him peep at the nudity of other women at will, encroaching on everyone's privacy?
If the compartment in the women's bathroom can barely ensure women's privacy, then the bathroom, dressing room, etc. are completely exposed to privacy, so why should children of the opposite sex be allowed to enter such occasions?
Sadly, cases of women's privacy not being guaranteed abound, and many netizens have exposed their experiences of meeting "bear children" in women's dressing rooms or bathrooms.
"There is not much staff to forget it, there is a five-year-old boy who has been lifting different shower curtains to peek, which makes me feel very uncomfortable and will not go again next time."
"My friend was changing clothes in the fitting room, and a little boy suddenly lifted the curtain and broke in, and then after the female clerk pulled him out, he directly lay on the ground and looked, which was really speechless!"
If you pull a man down the street and ask, "Can a man go into the women's bathroom?" ”
Then the answer you get must be "no", because men and women are not related, unless they go to the public restroom.
But if you put it another way, asking, "Can a boy go into the women's bathroom?" ”
Then this answer will no longer be absolute, and people will only express their personal opinions after repeated consideration in their hearts, because the identity of "boy" will no longer be unique.
The first layer of identity of "boy" represents "male", and the second identity represents the ignorant "child".
Many mothers think that their children are still young and have no sense of independence, and taking them to the women's bathroom is also a last resort, so an unwritten "hidden" rule spreads among mothers, and they do the same.
Over time, mothers have developed the habit of taking boys to the women's bathroom, and they should think that the whole world should be considerate of their hard work, otherwise you are unreasonable and unempathetic.
Nowadays, in order to avoid accidents such as children being abducted and fallen by traffickers, many large shopping malls directly install urinals in the women's toilet with a wave of their hands, which not only saves money but also makes mothers feel at ease.
I don't know when everyone subconsciously regarded "what is the fuss about boys entering the women's bathroom" as privacy security, regarded "he is a little fart child, where does he know so much" as age safety, and attacked the appearance of the woman being seen as gender safety.
In real life, there are very few cases of bringing daughters into the men's dressing room or men's bathroom, so people gradually forget that the father is the pillar of the family, and naturally he can take the child to the bathroom.
«○●—[Talking about "sexual" discoloration]—●○»
Some time ago, a mother in Jiangsu shared with netizens an interesting story about her daughter's "dislike" of her father.
That afternoon, the father took his daughter outside to play alone, and when passing the public toilet, the father had a struggle inside, and the daughter was waiting outside, he was not at ease, but it was not appropriate for the daughter to accompany him into the men's toilet.
In order not to let his daughter have any accidents, he had to choose the latter. But who knew that when the daughter heard that her father wanted to pull her to the men's bathroom, she did not hesitate to open the distance between her father and her father.
Seeing that her father was still not dead, she complained to her father in a milky voice: "I'm a girl, why do you want me to accompany you to the toilet?" Are you so adult that you still can't go to the toilet yourself? ”
Seeing this, will anyone still think that the child is still young and does not understand anything? If it were not for the careful teaching of the girl's mother, how would she know about the "difference between men and women"?
Sensible parents needless to say, they will also educate their children well. But some parents talk about "sex" color change, afraid that their children will mature too early and pollute their pure hearts.
Without gender awareness, they are curious about this and explore in their own way, so they have also become uncultured "bear children" in people's mouths.
Parents think that protecting their children like a blank piece of paper is the best education for them, but they never think that doing so may make their children ignorant in the face of bad people who do all kinds of evil.
Covering their eyes and ears has never been the greatest protection for children, and ignorance should not be an accomplice to bad people.
Therefore, both boys and girls have the right to learn about sex education and understand what "difference between men and women" is.
Besides, why do many people think that women's toilets are absolutely safe places? Is it possible that children alone are well cared for right under their noses?
Since the men's toilet is not convenient to go to, and taking the child to the women's toilet is not a perfect solution, how can this problem be solved?
If both parents are present, the same-sex spouse can accompany the child to the bathroom. But in most cases, mothers accompany their children alone, and parents have to think of other ways.
For example, we can encourage the child to go to the bathroom alone and give him a good phone watch and other communication tools to ensure the child's safety, or we can ask the nearby clerk or security guard to spend a minute or two to help take care of the child when we go to the bathroom.
If we have to take our children to the women's bathroom as a last resort, we can learn from this mother:
Xiaofang (pseudonym) When Xiaofang (pseudonym) took the child out, the child was anxious to go to the toilet, but there was no parent-child bathroom nearby, so she took out an eye patch from her bag and put it on her son.
Before entering the bathroom, she solemnly instructed her son not to take off the blindfold, let alone glance at it at will, which made other sisters feel uncomfortable.
She then led the children to one of the cubicles to untie their hands, and did not take off the blindfold until they walked out of the bathroom and onto the sink outside, and the mother took off the child's blindfold.
In the process, the mother did not indulge the child with the idea that "I can go into the bathroom as a matter of course when I was young", but taught the child that there is a difference between men and women.
This mother's approach perfectly solved the problem of children entering the women's bathroom, and even avoided the panic and embarrassment that other women should have suffered.
Someone has suggested that each city can build more parent-child or family bathrooms, so that children and strangers do not have to meet, wouldn't everyone be happy?
In fact, some big cities have long considered this problem, but there will still be people who covet convenience and take their children directly into the women's bathroom.
It comes down to ignoring the concept that children are gender conscious when they are 3 years old. Frequently taking children in and out of women's private spaces will only confuse children's gender awareness and bring some inappropriate stimulation behaviors and guidance.
«○●—[Summary]—●○»
In our daily life, we can strengthen children's memory of gender education, so that they can establish good habits of respecting others' privacy and empathy from an early age.
We can also understand the concerns of parents about their children, after all, every parent cannot bear to see their children who have no ability to protect themselves being persecuted.
But parents need to be aware that no matter how old their children are, our worries will only be more and less.
When he was 5 years old, we were worried that he was being abducted, he was 10 years old, worried that his grades were not good, he was 20 years old, we were worried that he would not find a good job.
From this point of view, parents' concerns are limitless, if we simply fear that their children will not be allowed to enter the correct public environment to use the appropriate facilities, then when will the children grow up?
In addition to learning to let go, we should also teach children to understand and respect each other, and guide children to the right path in the right way, so as to achieve common progress with children.