Lu Xin Night Talk|Will there also be red roses and white roses in women's hearts?

Over the weekend, we revisited an old movie "Titanic". When we first watched this movie, we were only in junior high school, and now after more than 20 years, we have a new feeling.

Deer: "I was 13 when I first saw it, and I was moved to tears, and I went back to emo for several days, imagining every night how good it would be if Jack hadn't died, and my mother said that Jack was an unemployed vagrant kidnapping rich girl, and I was so angry that I had several fights with her. ”

Xin: "When I first watched it, I was actually not very impressed, but I was stunned by the place where Jack painted Ruth's body painting, and I thought to myself, is this what I can read as a male ethicist..."

Deer: "When I watched it for the second time, I thought, if Jack didn't die, would the two end up like in "Revolutionary Road"? Love is polished by life, and only ugly and angry faces remain for each other. ”

Xin: "When I watched it for the second time, I was thinking, their love is indeed very great, after all, how many people can love someone who has just met for a few days with their lives?" But here's where my question lies: how can someone who has just known each other for a few days love so deeply?

Now that I have figured it out, I think their love actually has a 'suspension bridge effect' at work.

Concept Review:

[Suspension bridge effect: refers to when a person fearfully crosses the suspension bridge, it will produce physiological phenomena such as rapid heartbeat and increased adrenaline secretion. If you happen to come into contact with a good opposite sex at this time, then the heartbeat caused by the dangerous and stimulating situation will become a heartbeat for that person, and a very strong love will germinate. This is why many times early love and cheating will make some people feel that they have encountered "true love", which is actually the kind of sneaky thrilling situation, caused by the "suspension bridge effect". 】

Xin: "For example, at the beginning, the female protagonist lost her foot in the stern, and the male protagonist fought hard to save her; For example, later, they stood on the bow of the boat in the sunset and felt the wind of 'flying'; another example is that they entered each other's class and came into contact with a completely unfamiliar lifestyle; and for example, when the big ship hit the iceberg, the two lived and died together; and the 'elopement' nature of their own secret dating brought a heartbeat to the relationship. So their relationship quickly heated up to the peak in a few days, and in that case it was completely reasonable, but also sincere, and passionate.

I think Jack and Ruth's love is genuine, and they are both charismatic human beings in their own right, with a good fit in appearance and soul. But if you really get off the boat, get married and live a life, and don't have so much heartbeat experience, where will the relationship go? Will it become "Road to the Revolution"? ”

Deer: "Many people now say that her fiancé Carl actually loves her so much that he can give her the priceless Heart of the Ocean diamond when she wants to elope, and buy her a lifeboat seat. ”

Xin: "Then I don't think Carl loves her, he didn't even realize that Ruth was going to commit suicide, he didn't understand or respect her views and hobbies, and what kind of love?" I think it's a kind of possessiveness of 'beautiful objects', as well as the exchange of benefits.

Huh~ I suddenly found that Mar Wencai and Liang Shanbo, Big Fat Orange and Cive, Carl and Jack, are all rich and potential to give the heroine material security, a loving heroine can provide emotional value, it turns out that the girl's heart also has a 'red rose' and 'white rose' complex. ”

But which is a good match? I'm not sure. Some people say that marriage should be the right door, and some people say that the three views should be compatible. But I think that whether it is a door-to-door or a three-view fit, it may only be a phased state. Carl has money now, but in a year he may go bankrupt and have no money. Jack is now a free soul, and in ten years he may also become a boring worker who pays off his mortgage and raises children..."

Deer: "When you talk about who is a good match, then I want to talk about my third viewing experience."

For so many years, the audience debated who was Mr. Carl and Jack. Right, who really loves the heroine, who can be happy by marrying... But I suddenly felt that these problems were superficial.

I now feel that this movie is not just about love, but about refracting a girl's growth through the perspective of love.

Jack's appearance is not a fairy tale of 'the true son of fate descends from the sky', but an opportunity for the heroine to complete the awakening of independent consciousness and transform from object to subject, and it is the guidance given to her by fate.

The story is also not about the debate about 'who can save the princess between a prince and a knight', but about a woman's self-sufficiency.

Ruth didn't just want to pursue independence after meeting Jack, she was already thinking about it before that. To put it bluntly, she was a 17-year-old teenager, in the process of finding 'self-identity', she was thinking about her own value, her own life: Is it to be a vase in Carl's family, a social business card, a puppet with a thread, trapped in a square inch for a lifetime without a name and no need? If not, how can you escape an arranged marriage and an arranged life? She didn't think of a way out for a while, and even thought of death. ”

Concept Review:

[Self-identity: Integrate one's own needs, emotions, abilities, goals, values, etc. into a unified personality framework, with self-consistent emotions and attitudes, and self-constant goals and beliefs.

Translated into the vernacular, the so-called exploration of self-identity refers to the process of a person seeking answers to the questions "who am I", "what do I want to do", "what kind of person I want to be", "what kind of life I want to live", and "what is my value". 】

Deer: "At this time, she met Jack, the free soul who is home all over the world, so she hit it off, because she found another possible answer from him and saw another feasibility of life.

So, in fact, whether Jack appears or not, whether Jack lives or dies, whether Jack disembarks with her or not, she is the independent individual who pursues 'my value'. Of course, the outcome of the quest may be a failure – that is, "The Road to the Revolution." It is also possible to succeed, just like the ending of "Titanic", the heroine became an actress, got married and had children, full of children and grandchildren, not only had her own career and family, but also traveled the world, learned to ride horses, learned to fly airplanes, learned to fish sharks. At the end of the film, I reviewed her life with her photos, and I re-watched it for the third time now to find that those photos are all herself, she is not anyone's wife, not anyone's mother, not anyone's daughter, not anyone's object, she is herself. ”

Xin: "Your analysis also answers my doubts - why the Heart of the Ocean was obviously given to the heroine by Carl, but in the end it was considered a symbol of her love with Jack." Because her later life was difficult and she did not sell the Heart of the Sea, she thought that once she sold the diamond, she would bow to the life that she might have married Carl, and this belief and courage not to bow was brought to her by Jack. ”

Deer: "I think the Heart of the Ocean symbolizes not love, but the determination to pursue 'subjective consciousness'. ”

Lu: "Speaking of which, I remembered an old Hong Kong drama "Criminal Investigation File" that had a far-reaching influence on me, and even my later work as a reporter was influenced by the heroine to a certain extent, and that drama could be said to have reshaped my three views at that time.

The heroine Gao Jie encountered difficulties at work, and her ex-boyfriend Jiang Yuxuan said to her: "Resign and marry me and be my full-time wife." As a result, the two quarreled over it. And she had a cold and fever when she worked overtime, but the male advocate Dayong bought her cold medicine and supported her to complete the interview, and finally the heroine came together with him.

When I was young, my education and indoctrination were all 'marrying a man must find someone who can take care of you and raise you', so the heroine's choice shocked me: 'Quitting this hard job to marry a young talent, did anyone think it was bad?' Is it something that needs to be quarreled? It turned out that in the bridge when the female protagonist was sick, the male protagonist could not only hold her princess, but could help her buy cold medicine to accompany her to work overtime...'From that time I began to rethink, which kind of talent is the right life partner..."

Xin: "So back to that question, red roses and white roses, in the face of this 'double conflict', how should they choose?" ”

Concept Review:

[Double tendency conflict: The psychological conflict caused when a person faces two objects with different attractions at the same time, can only choose one of them, and must give up the other. For example, a "rich one", and a "love me". 】

For example, if there are two boys, one has a successful career and has a generous shot, but he does not have time to accompany you, does not have time to take care of your feelings, and does not have time to understand your thoughts, the only way to compensate you is to make money; Another man is handsome, will make breakfast for you, take you around the landscape, understand your little emotions, always appear in time when you need it, encourage you to comfort you, support you and help you, full of you...

So excuse me, these two boys --

And what does it have to do with you? Was it really chosen here?

Don't hurry up and go back to learning yet!