A friend recently confided in me that she suspected her 3-year-old son might have a "problem."
Her son would often do one thing repeatedly. For example, I only like to listen to the same picture book every night before going to bed; I will push down the blocks after constantly piling up, and then I will pile up and then push down; the animation episode of "Pony Paulie" can be watched more than a dozen times over and over again...
Looking at the child's behavior, she couldn't help but think of stereotypical behavior in autism, and she was worried about it.
In fact, this is the norm for many children, and some children will be keen to twist the lid of the bottle and then tighten it, twist it open and tighten it again, enjoy it tirelessly, or repeatedly open the door, close the door, etc.
In psychology, we call this repetitive act of doing the same thing "always the same behavior."
So what is the benefit of this "common behavior" for the child's growth? Do you want to stop the child? As parents, how do we distinguish between normal repetitive behaviors and not stereotypical behaviors in autism?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="8" > child's repetitive behavior is "intellectual gymnastics" </h1>
Not only are mothers curious about their children's repetitive behavior, but many psychologists and educators are also interested. Among them was the Italian early childhood educator Montessori. So what did she find?
Montessori recorded the first discovery of such repetitive behavior in his book The Secret of Childhood.
While she was observing the children in the class, a little girl of about 3 years old caught her attention. The little girl kept putting a series of cylinders into the hole and then out of it again. Such a "job" was repeated exactly 42 times before the little girl stopped.
In the process, Montessori found that the little girl did not show "progress in speed or skill", but she enjoyed it the whole time, focused on it, and did not even notice that the other children around her had entered the next activity - singing.
It wasn't until after the 42 repetitions were over that the little girl noticed the changes around her.
In this regard, Montessori believes that:
Once a child's attention is caught by an object, he will focus on repeating the exercise continuously.
The purpose of this repetitive exercise is out of the child's inner needs, so we will see that when the child completes a series of repetitive behaviors, he will not show a boring look as we think, but will be full of vitality and happy.
At the same time, repetition also represents familiarity and security. Especially in unfamiliar places, we will find that children are more likely to repeat behavior.
In addition, in the process of repetition, children can also learn some skills, and even practice makes perfect.
For example, after they put on and take off their socks many times, they can slowly master this skill; after stacking high and pushing down blocks many times, they can find the secret of stacking high blocks.
Some parents may think, so why not just tell them these skills? This also avoids the child from repeating it all the time.
Because children's cognitive abilities are limited, many times, only if they have experienced it themselves, they can make something in this process of repetition.
Therefore, Montessori also regards this repetitive behavior of the child as a process from quantitative change to qualitative change, and can even say: "Repetition is the child's intellectual gymnastics." ”
However, we need to pay attention to the fact that not all repetitive behaviors in children are beneficial, because it is true that repeat behaviors are also widespread in children with autism, so how to distinguish them?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="26" > 4 differences between normal vs stereotyped repetitive behavior </h1>
According to the research of relevant scholars, to distinguish the repetitive behavior of ordinary children and autistic children, it is mainly from the following four aspects, namely:
1. Whether it has the function of directing and physical and mental development
This is simply whether the child has grown after repeated behavior.
For example, there are two children A and B who are building blocks, and they both like to pile up and then push them down, and then pile up and then push down. But after a period of repeated repetition, it was found that the blocks in the child's A pile were getting taller and more neat. However, Child B still only uses 3 blocks, and the blocks are still placed crookedly between them.
Then, the repetitive behavior of child B may be abnormal, and more attention and observation are needed.
2. Whether it has extensiveness, flexibility and steering.
Generally speaking, although some children will ask parents to read the same picture book repeatedly before going to bed, if parents know how to use certain strategies, children will be willing to accept parents' suggestions for reading another story to themselves, and even play other games.
And this is difficult for autistic children with stereotypical behavior, because change can make them feel strongly uneasy.
3. Whether self-injurious behavior is involved.
Children protest when they are disturbed or prevented from repeating their behavior. But the difference is that if the child has autism, their protests will be even more destructive, even involving self-injurious behavior. For example, banging your head against a wall, pulling out your own hair, etc.
4. Whether the frequency of behavior occurs changes with age and situation.
For example, in the movie "Luke's Story", Luke suffers from autism, and from childhood to adulthood, he must sit in the same chair and eat the same food when eating at home, and all the dishes must be placed in the same position. At the same time, he would ask others to do the same.
Here, we will find that when children grow up or their situations change, their repetitive behavior will change accordingly. The emergence of stereotypical behavior in autistic children will not have a significant downward trend.
Of course, autism cannot be determined by stereotyped repetitive behavior alone, but also needs to undergo a series of professional evaluations. If the situation is found to be more serious, it is possible to seek timely intervention after evaluation by a professional body.
So, in our daily lives, what do we do when children have repetitive behaviors? Is it to stand by and watch? Or do you want to guide them?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="42" > can not stand idly by in the face of repetition, and intervene in a timely manner </h1>
Chen Shengshen, an internationally renowned mathematical master and a foreign academician of the Chinese Academy of Sciences in China, once said when talking about mathematics that we ordinary people think are boring:
Sometimes some work must be repeated, in order to be able to refine, to be able to innovate, to make new things.
This is the same mentality we have when we look at our children's repetitive behaviors, and we also think that the children's behaviors are boring. Yet it is these repetitive behaviors that seem useless to us that promote the progress and growth of children again and again.
Therefore, when we face children's repetitive behaviors, the first thing to do is to understand and respect them, and even create certain environments and conditions for them to support them to repeat behaviors.
Second, we need to analyze and think about the needs behind the child. Because sometimes repetitive behavior is related to the child's psychological state.
At the same time, if the child has bad repetitive behavior, such as repeatedly tearing the book, etc., as a parent, he also needs to guide the book, and he can replace the book with other unwanted waste paper.
Finally, what parents need to do is to find ways to change some of the content when they find that their children have a single repetitive behavior over a long period of time.
For example, when reading picture books with children, you can tell a story simply from the beginning, to tell a story by asking questions, or to interpreting a story with your child by role playing.
This not only satisfies the need for repetition in children, but also helps them learn and grow in repetition.
Therefore, when we encounter children repeating a certain behavior, we must learn to tolerate and encourage them, give them the freedom to repeat, and guide them according to the situation.
Only in this way can children achieve the rapid accumulation of new knowledge in repetitive behavior and can continue to grow.