Text | Wu Qingshao
In the second phase of the assessment of the variety show "Infinite Beyond Class", the real group actor Ao Lei went to Hengdian to become a group actor in order to realize her personal dream of being an actor, becoming a member of Hengdrift, did not follow the wishes of her grandparents, returned home after graduating to find a stable job, get married and have children, for which her family said that she was unfilial. This kind of contradiction between family and dreams is actually relatively common in women, and Aolei is just one of thousands of people who put marriage and childbirth aside for the sake of work and career.
Aolei talked about his past experience at the dinner party at the end of the "Infinite Beyond Class" artist group performance tour. After graduating from graduate school, she first studied comedy with teacher Chen Peisi, then acted in some dramas, and then went to Hengdian to run the group, doing everything, not only as a group acting, but also as an assistant to actor friends, or doing miscellaneous work on the set, waiting for opportunities to fight for roles.
For her choice, her family and friends did not understand her. She is a doctor, it is not difficult to find a decent and stable job when she returns home, and her family still hopes that she will get married and have children early, but she was not seen married until her grandfather died. After her grandfather died, her grandmother said that she was unfilial and failed to let her grandfather hold her great-grandson. But Aolei did not compromise because of these puzzles, and told her grandmother that maybe she was more selfish, she just wanted to do what she liked to do, live the life she wanted, and when she was young, she wanted to chase her dreams, and she was unwilling not to try.
Everyone should be familiar with the incomprehension of Aolei's family and friends. At a time when academic qualifications are very important, having the title of a doctor can indeed make it easier to find a decent and stable job, and decent stability is not the goal that many people pursue. But Aolei, who has a beautiful academic qualification, does not want a decent and stable good job, and actually runs to Hengdian to enter the group performance industry that anyone can do, which is really not very understandable. But from Aolei's point of view, the decency and stability valued by others is not what she yearns for, doing what she likes is happy, she likes to perform, naturally she has to invest in this industry.
And to get a good performance opportunity, or even become a female one, if you don't have good background resources, it's not easy, you can only start from the bottom, starting from a group performance with a very low threshold. Because of being at the bottom, low income, instability, and sometimes disrespect are common, and there are experiences such as eating without tables and chairs, making background walls in a more dangerous environment without any protection, and no one hurts a piece of blue and purple on the skin. But so what, at least now I am still full of longing for my dreams, no matter how difficult and bitter it is, I will still stick to it.
This insistence is also destined to sacrifice something, such as the very real problem in women - sacrificing the family and putting aside the matter of marriage and having children. It is said that when pregnant in October, it is necessary to delay ten months in giving birth to a child, not counting the time of confinement and breastfeeding and taking care of young children later. And the workplace may have been updated several times in ten months, even if you want to start a family, get married and have children for the sake of your career, you can only endure it first, and then talk about it after your career is successful. But this career success is not based on time accumulation, there are too many factors that affect it, who knows if you will have a successful career in this life. However, for people who are dedicated to their careers, they can't manage so much.
These days, there is a hot topic that says that the lifetime childlessness rate of mainland women has risen rapidly, approaching 10%. An important factor behind this rapid rise may be related to women's pursuit of careers, and in order to have better development in their careers, women often become "unfilial daughters" like Aolei in order to pursue their dreams. But the work of having children can only be done by women, which has led to the contradiction between women's careers and families, and they choose to marry late and have children late or even not marry and have no children for their careers.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with women pursuing careers themselves, if the employment environment is more friendly to women and truly achieve equality between men and women in the workplace, perhaps women's pursuit of careers will not have much impact on childbirth, and the contradictions between career and family will not be so sharp. The problem now is that because women have to be pregnant in October, confinement after giving birth, and breastfeeding, young children are often taken care of by women, if women want to give birth to two children and three children, it is even more equal to maternity leave to take two or three times, plus one or two years before and after, as well as breastfeeding leave or taking leave from time to time to take care of young children, bosses and managers are unlikely to like female employees.
Subjectively, not every woman's dream is to be a housewife, objectively not every family has a mine, ordinary families still need young mothers to work to reduce their financial burden. If the employment environment is not friendly to women, women who do not want to be housewives may not think too much about marriage and childbirth, and the second child and three children are even more so, and women who do not reject housewives but do not allow economic conditions do not dare to do whatever they want in childbearing. Therefore, it is quite difficult to improve women's willingness to have children and not improve the employment environment.
Back to Aolei, she is still lucky, at least in the end, her grandmother still supports her, she can go to Hengdian after graduation to work as a drifter, do a job with an unstable income, the family's financial burden should not be too heavy, and there is capital to pursue her career and dreams. And some people under the heavy family economic burden is not the contradiction between career and family, but the contradiction between work and family, in order to keep their jobs and support their families, they dare not marry or have children.
This article is original by Qingsha Zhizhi, welcome to pay attention and explore the entertainment life with connotation together!