When I was one year old, my parents divorced, and since then my mother has heard nothing, leaving me and my sister to my father.
When I grew up, I learned that my sister, who was 2 years older than me, was not my biological sister, but the daughter of my birth mother's eldest sister, which was my cousin.
Mom and dad got married for several years without children, the aunt already has a daughter, wants to have a son, secretly find someone to do B ultrasound to see is a girl, they discuss with the birth mother, the unborn sister to the parents to raise.
The aunt felt that this was good for her children, that she could guarantee that she would not be abused, and that she could always see her children. And we also have a kind of "child" saying that couples who are not pregnant adopt other people's children and they will also get pregnant and happy. Eventually, Mom and Dad agreed to the plan.
My mother pretended to be pregnant for several months, but she did not say it to the outside world because the fetal image was unstable, my father cooperated with the acting, and my sister came directly to our house after birth.
A year after my sister came to our house, my mother became pregnant and gave birth to me. It is said that the life of a family of four should be happy and harmonious, but mom and dad did not know what happened to the relationship breakdown, divorced when I was 1 year old, and my mother has cut off contact with us ever since.
Dad a man with two small children is difficult to live, if nothing else, at that time the rural children's clothes and shoes are made by hand by the mother, the father can not get it, although there is a grandmother to help, but the uncle and uncle family have children, the grandmother can not spend all the time and energy on our sisters, to the two children to find another mother has become a just need.
So my later mother came to our house, that is, the stepmother in the secular sense.
When my stepmother came to my house, I was too young to be impressed, and I kept calling her mom, and when I grew up, I didn't know that she was not my biological mother.
My mother gave birth to my brother a year after coming to my house. My sister, me, and my brother are two years apart, and we grew up together, and we have a very good relationship. The special life experiences of special parents have created both of our biological parents to be inconsistent, but they feel better than many half-siblings.
From the world's point of view, my sister and I belong to the people who have not had their own mothers to take care of the hands of their stepmothers since childhood, and it may be how tragic it is, especially my sister, who is actually not related to my father and later my mother, and my parents have enough reasons to ignore her, but my parents do not, and they are better for my sister than my brother and me.
When I was a child, my family had difficulties in life, and in order to support this big family, my father went out to work, did very hard work, was reluctant to spend, and saved up to send it home. Mom took care of our three little children of similar age alone, very hard, had to work in the fields, and opened a small commissary to increase her income.
Mom and Dad never complained about the difficulty of life, and did their best to provide us with good living conditions, although the family is not rich, but always full of joy and laughter.
When I was a child, I was once bitten by a vicious dog in a neighbor's house, and the blood was flowing out, and my mother cried at that time, crying and holding me to go to the doctor for injections to treat the wounds. At night I cried in pain at home, and she picked up the hoe of the farm and went to the house to smash the door desperately, which was the most powerful time I had ever seen her, like a who had just given birth to a puppy.
The three of us sisters and brothers are the only ones in our village whose three children are studying at university, one is that the burden is very heavy, and the other is that many people think that girls are not very useful in going to school, and sooner or later they will marry, maybe they will find a job and stay far away, and the mother's family will not get benefits, so it is better to let her work and save money for the family.
My parents were adamant on this point, saying that as long as we had the ability to go to college, smashing pots and selling iron would also provide for us. Dad often told us about the things that he often suffered because he was uneducated, and told us that going to school has a way out, and going to school is not for our parents, but for ourselves.
Shandong's further education pressure is very high, the college entrance examination admission rate is very low, for a period of time, the sister has a tired mood, do not want to go to school, dad did not say anything, he said just the lack of money at home, I take you to work.
He took his sister to the slaughterhouse where he worked, so that his sister followed his aunts to learn to pluck the duck's hair, after pulling out a duck's hair, he could earn 2 cents and four cents, there could not be a little broken skin, there was a little broken skin buckle 10 pieces, most of the day was white.
My sister asked to go home after less than a day's work, obediently went to school, and never asked to withdraw from school again.
In fact, when we were growing up, we heard a lot of gossip about my sister's life and me, some things you don't want to know, and there are always some good people to provoke.
It's not that I don't have no ideas, especially in adolescence, my sister and I have said ugly things, broken my parents' hearts, and the past is unbearable.
I am very fortunate to be touched that we have the best parents in the world, who use selfless love and broad hearts to tolerate our little things, swallow grievances, and let us grow up and mature to slowly understand their hardships.
It wasn't until I had my own emotional experience that I realized how difficult it was for my parents and how much they loved their three children, especially my sister and me.
After all, my sister is not related to them by blood, and I am not my mother's own child, this must be very loving to my father, my heart is very generous and kind, I will love Wu and Wu, I will regard my sister and me as my own, as always, I have loved for 30 years, my mother is difficult, change to myself, I think I can't do this.
Blood is important, but giving and loving are more secure.
Many people have asked me if I have any contact with my birth mother, and I can only say that maybe I have a shallow relationship with my birth mother and daughter, she has not appeared in my life since I was one year old, and her sister is also, and her biological parents have not come to her.
Mom and Dad once talked to us about this issue, saying that we are all grown up, and if our biological parents come in, they will support us to recognize each other.
My sister and I both felt that maybe our fate had ended after so many years of not looking for us, and we would abandon us at the most difficult time, and we would not have to appear as close relatives in the future.
We already have the parents and family members who love us the most in the world, and there is no lack of affection, and if our parents are there, we will always have a home.
In fact, our family belongs to a typical remarriage combination family, even more complicated than the general remarriage combination family situation, but in recent years, there have never been many news reports in the remarriage combination family dispute contradictions, I think the main reasons are the following points:
First, Mom and Dad are very generous and kind people.
Dad and birth mother, when they broke up, chose to raise me and my sister alone, which requires a huge sense of responsibility and courage, a man in his twenties with two small children, remarriage is difficult, especially the sister and he are not related by blood, but Dad has long regarded her as his own daughter.
Mom is also, very brave and kind, mom was older and unmarried at the time, looking for dad is actually quite a loss, the burden is very heavy, but she saw this kind responsibility of dad, she married, dad earned.
Second, it is not easy to combine family management, which requires long-term efforts and huge emotional investment.
Our family can be happy and intimate for decades, Mom and Dad have paid too much, Mom needs to pay more than her own mother, and people's hearts are warm.
My mother's efforts over the years, everyone is in the eyes, my sister and I have never regarded her as a "stepmother" in our hearts, she is our mother, the only mother.
Third, treat children equally.
Mom and Dad treated us equally, the starting point of everything was for our own good, and my sister spent the most money because she went to art school, but Mom and Dad never said a word.
Whoever makes a mistake should be corrected and punished, and it is not good to think too much about it. It is precisely because of the equal treatment of parents and mothers that our sisters and brothers have never felt that our parents are more partial to each other, which has reduced some common disputes in the combined family.
Fourth, give children space and respect humanity.
Mom and Dad have never avoided the issue of my sister's life and my sister, nor has it prevented us from recognizing our relatives, I don't know if they have ever had pain in their hearts, even if they have been in pain, they finally chose to respect us, respect blood nature, give us space, let us choose our own lives freely.
It is our own choice to recognize only them as our parents in this life, and we cannot tolerate others.
Thank you mom and dad, especially my mom, it is their selfless love that allows me to have a warm home, and I have a special sense of security for feelings and family, sunny and cheerful, I love you!