Last year, a netizen commented that Yang Liping's "biggest failure is that there is no child", and she has received more than 10,000 likes. A stone stirred up thousands of waves, netizens have expressed their views on this, and many female stars have spoken. Although this netizen is very likely to be a "network leader" who pretends to be a shocking remark as the Beijing News said, the large-scale discussion caused by this view reflects the necessity of thinking about this topic.
Comments from netizens under Yang Liping's video
This discussion reminded me of many people and things around me. The theory of "failure without children" is the same as the theory of "failure without marriage", and the argument is nothing more than: since ancient times, if it is not executed on time, life is incomplete; or it is lonely and old. Elders often use these two kinds of "good words" to persuade each other, the former believes that man is a machine that has set up a good program, and when and where to do something, otherwise it is off track; the latter is self-righteously speculating on the minds of others, ignoring the fact that "sub-fish". For thousands of years, women have carried the weight forward in silence, accustomed to it, and not aware of its suffering. Nowadays, more and more women are willing to shout in a thin voice, even if there are few echoes, it cannot be said that it is the progress of the times.
Vermilion, circa 1937, Georgia O'Keefe
There are a lot of feminists on the Internet, and frankly I don't pay much attention to this, I don't know much about its connotation and advocacy, and I don't have much say. But there are many small things in life that make me think. We always like to laugh at those who get married early and have children as "life winners", I remember that during graduate school, I also used this to evaluate a married classmate, and my roommate immediately said that she did not think so. At that time, I didn't understand why she was so real, but now that I think about it, she is more real than just a joke, but a matter of life outlook. The so-called "winner of life", who won? Life? Oh, it's too self-sufficient. Peers? That can only be your wishful thinking, people are safe, and they may not want to compare with you. Of course, I don't want to preach the idea that "infidelity is noble.". Personally, I look forward to running my own small home, chai rice oil and salt, and walking my baby after meals. And I was lucky enough to encounter this possibility at the right time and escaped the discussion of others. What I'm trying to say is that your choices shouldn't tie your mind. Just because I'm conservative doesn't mean I'll be a slut to other open girls. Within the moral sphere, no one should be defined. Your evaluation of others is often understated and blurted out, but it will not drift away with the wind as easily, but like a boulder, it falls heavily on the hearts of others. Therefore, to take the first step to freedom, you have to refuse to be defined.
In today's society, women's struggle for true freedom is still difficult, both to resist oppression and to face accusations of "overcorrection" from time to time. This reminds me of two small things. In my freshman year, in the "Literary Writing" class, the elegant and avant-garde teacher Ah Yuan said that girls should be self-reliant and not rely on their boyfriends financially. At that time, I had just been in love, and before I thought about it, my friend told me that she never spent her boyfriend's money. I seemed to have the scriptures and went home to tell my mother. Mom said, isn't this what romance and love are gone? Daily interactions do not have to be so clear. If he has the misfortune to break up and he wants to settle the account, then let him list the bills and pay him back one by one. Mother's words were light and breezy, but from this moment on in my heart. In the junior high school Chinese class, there is a thinking question: Is there only one correct answer to things? Everyone is indoctrinated with divergent thinking all day long, and naturally they all say that there is more than one correct answer. I prefer to be different, answering: there may be many answers to things, but there must be only one that is the most perfect, and this is the correct answer. Teacher Chen's education for us is never limited to the problem itself, and it is also an encouragement to me. But is there only one correct answer to things? If I had to answer again now, I am afraid I would hesitate. Another reason I remember this is because of an interesting paradox in which the call for pluralism has become mainstream, and the advocate of unity has become heretic. Today, the term "political correctness" is being abused like a flood of beasts, and everywhere it goes, everyone is silent. But people have not only reason, but also emotions. On the scale of not crossing the line, can we be less politically correct? Teacher Chen's cleverness lies in the fact that she did not regulate me with a politically correct definition, so that a junior high school student realized the preciousness of her inner voice.
Light Iris, 1924, [Beauty] Georgia Okeeffer
At this point, the discussion has gone beyond the topic of women's survival. Just expand your horizons a little more. In this world, not only women are defined, everything is being defined. On the phone with dad the other day, he said it was particularly hot, often at thirty-eighty-nine degrees. I felt sorry for him and asked him to hold up an umbrella. He smiled and said, the man still holds an umbrella? In daily life, men do hardly wear umbrellas. Why? Perhaps in everyone's opinion, parasols will make men look weak, just like skin care makeup. As a result, many men would rather endure the scorching sun than hold up an umbrella. Grandma always spoke of her son with a proud face and said, "... Don't smoke, don't drink..." In her context, smoking and drinking represent bad habits, and without these hobbies, you are a good man. My mother and sister and I also objected to my father's smoking and drinking, but considered that smoking and alcohol hurt my body.
There are countless such frameworks that define each person's place in the social network, leaving us with no time to care about the clouds and rains of other coordinates. Fortunately, more and more young people are beginning to step out of the framework. Lin Yihan's wedding speech, presumably people who have read "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise" have also heard it. She said in a gentle but firm Taiwanese accent: "I want to be a person who has more imagination about the suffering of others." "Every time I listen to it, I can't help but burst into tears. I also want to be a person who has more imagination about the choices of others, and send silent support and blessings to countless people around and far away who seek freedom.
Finally, I would like to conclude with two familiar words—
Man is born free, but he is always in chains. Those who think they are masters of everything else are more slaves than everything else. - Rousseau
White dew crosses the river, and the water and light meet the sky. As long as a reed is, Ling Wan is dazed. Hao Hao is like Feng Fei Yu Feng, and does not know what it is; fluttering is like a relic of independence, feathering and ascending to the immortal. --Su Shi
"Chibi Tu", [Ming] Qiu Ying