"Chuci Buju" has a saying: Rather be honest and upright to clean yourself? It means honesty and integrity to maintain one's innocence. This is the origin of Zhu Ziqing's name, and it is also a portrayal of his life: drinking spring and clean festival, incorruptible people self-integrity. He humbled himself to be just a pawn of the big time, but in fact, he was the most spineless man of letters.
His person, his marriage and love are as clear as snow, this snow in the hurry of the light passing by, in the days scattered by the breeze, in the spring that is hoping, growing, laughing, walking, in the lotus pond wrapped in light yarn, in the back of the father who is fading away... When the sun's face turned red, the snow melted, and it was steamed by the first sun, leaving behind a clean puddle of clear water.
This is Zhu Ziqing, this is his love. Zhu Ziqing's love is like his words, indifferent but has its own depth, this depth permeates two completely different marriages, two love stories of different colors.
There are many celebrities in the Republic of China period that we are familiar with, most of them have an arranged marriage when they were young, so they will choose to resist, break free from the constraints of the old marriage, and find their own love and happiness without hesitation. Zhu Ziqing, a famous essayist in the history of modern Chinese literature, has not escaped such a tragic fate,
In 1915, 18-year-old Zhu Ziqing was admitted to Peking University and realized his dream of being a cold window student. Just when he wanted to hang the clouds and sail the sea and look forward to the long wind and waves, his parents decided for him to marry on their own, and the other party was Wu Zhongqian, the daughter of a famous doctor.
In 1916, the second year of his studies at Peking University, Zhu Ziqing obeyed his parents' arrangement and married the taciturn Wu Zhongqian. At that time, Zhu Ziqing was introverted and not good at words. The couple have similar personalities, which avoids fierce conflict on the one hand, and makes the marriage seem very dull on the other hand.
The filial Zhu Ziqing could not disobey his parents' wishes, and had to make up his mind to spend his life with a woman he had never met, and compared to others, Zhu Ziqing was both unfortunate and lucky. Unfortunately, in that era of alternation between the old and the new, he clearly yearned for a warm, beautiful and free love in his heart, but he had to accept the fate of his parents' orders and matchmakers' words; But fortunately, after Zhu Ziqing and Wu Zhongqian got married, they were happy and respectful.
Wu Zhongqian, Zhu Ziqing's married wife, is the only daughter of the famous Yangzhou doctor Wu Weisan, and Zhu Ziqing was engaged to Zhu Ziqing at the age of 14. When Zhu Ziqing was admitted to Peking University with excellent grades, the Zhu family was overjoyed and married them in the winter of the same year. Wu Zhongqian was overjoyed to marry such a talented husband for himself, and since then he has served his husband wholeheartedly, and the relationship between the two is very good.
Wu Zhongqian belongs to the traditional Chinese typical virtuous wife and mother-type woman, and has lived with Mr. Zhu Ziqing for 12 years after marriage. In more than 10 years of husband and wife life, Wu Zhongqian worked hard for her husband and children all day, and often dragged her children to escape the war and accumulated work, but this marriage with beauty did not come to an end. Wu Zhongqian died of lung disease in 1929 at the age of 31. The Wu clan had 6 children. The youngest daughter, Zhu Liuer, died at the age of only 1. At that time, Zhu Ziqing was teaching Chinese literature at Tsinghua University, and after hearing the bad news, he immediately fainted and was admitted to the hospital, and then he was even more ill, so that he could not return to Yangzhou to run for funeral. For Wu Zhongqian, Mr. Zhu Ziqing has always been full of sincere love for her.
Wu Zhongqian is a talented woman in Yangzhou, and Zhu Ziqing is a talented son of Tsinghua; Wu Zhongqian is diligent and capable, but Zhu Ziqing does not understand housework; They are both similar and complementary, and several years of getting along have precipitated deep feelings. In addition to Zhu Ziqing's pain, he composed a poem "Poem for the Dead Woman" to mourn his deceased wife:
Pitch and spacing, white-headed empty phase.
To this detain, who recruits thousands of miles of souls.
She was gone, and he remained in the world, never forgetting the affection between the two. In 1932, three years after Wu Zhongqian's death, Zhu Ziqing wrote the book "To the Dead Woman", in which he pinned his infinite thoughts on Wu Zhongqian, which was an ode to the love between Mr. Zhu Ziqing and Wu Zhongqian. , he reminisced about the past of his late wife Wu Zhongqian, with sincere affection, poignant and moving, and his regret and nostalgia were overflowing.
"Qian, the days are so fast, you have been dead for three years in the blink of an eye. I don't know how many times the world has changed in the past three years, but you may not pay attention to these individuals. I know that the first thing you think about is your children, and the second is my turn...
I went home the summer before last and went to your grave. You sleep under your grandparents, and you don't think you're alone. It's just that your grandparents' grave was too small, and you were sleeping under the circumference. This is called 'anti-circumference', and it seems to the living to be unsafe; wait to find a way. At that time, the grass grew densely on the top and bottom, and the morning dew soaked my cloth, the morning dew soaked the shoes of the undead, and tears blurred the eyes of the undead.
In the days after Wu Zhongqian's death, his years became extremely silent, like tired birds returning to their nests, falling flowers returning to the soil, and silver needles entering the sea, without making a sound. There was no voice of his wife, nor the shadow of his wife, he was alone, his head flowing and tearful.
Faced with a broken home, friends advised Zhu Ziqing to continue the string, but he repeatedly flatly refused. Although their marriage is not voluntary, it lacks the romance of free love, but it has a lot of happiness. Years of staying together, the love hidden in that pillow and sleep, and the deep affection accumulated in that meal and meal, are enough to make the sentimental and sentimental Zhu Ziqing never forget.
He doesn't need a new wife, but the children in the family need a new mother. When Wu Zhongqian was alive, his home and home were well taken care of, and Zhu Ziqing never had to interfere, but now, in the face of a mess of family affairs and a child waiting to be fed, he was helpless.
Ye Gongchao and other friends saw his embarrassed state, and they couldn't bear it, and began to arrange family affairs for him, wanting him to find a beautiful person and continue a marriage.
It was in this context that Chen Zhuyin met Zhu Ziqing. Later, there was a love story between two people, which began with the careful planning of others, staying true to their beliefs and living up to each other's truth.
As soon as I saw your eyes, I sobered up - Zhu Ziqing Chen Zhuyin
Before meeting Zhu Ziqing in 1930, Chen Zhuyin was a cool girl. Born in Shuxiangmendi, she has 12 siblings, and she is the little sister. She went to private school at the age of eight, and her extracurricular books were the magazines that her brother brought home, and they were the most popular nowadays. One "Oriental Magazine" published a chronicle of Chinese and foreign events, and the other "Novel Monthly" published the most popular Chinese and foreign novels. Under the influence of the culture of the new era, Chen Zhuyin is not at all like the women of that era, not inhibited or conservative.
When her parents died, she felt that she had to rely on herself for her life, packed her bags, and went from Sichuan to Beiping alone to enroll in the Art Academy. Studied under Qi Baishi and was able to draw with a gongbi; Worship the teacher Pudong and sing the gentle Kunqu opera. After graduating, he went to work in an almshouse, but he was not used to the fact that the director of the almshouse withheld the orphans' rations, and resigned in protest. Do what you want, don't look ahead, don't hesitate.
It was a well-planned encounter, and friends coaxed Zhu Ziqing to the restaurant in the name of a member, where Chen Zhuyin waited early. He didn't know it, she had long admired it. After meeting Zhu Ziqing, Chen Zhuyin became entangled.
Pu Dong felt sorry that Chen Zhuyin had always been alone, and quietly arranged this meeting. As Zhang Ailing wrote: Meet the person you meet among thousands of people, in the endless wilderness of time in tens of millions of years, not one step earlier, not one step later, just in time, then there is nothing else to say, only to gently ask: "Oh, are you here too?" ”
When they first met, Chen Zhuyin in Zhu Ziqing's eyes was white, and he talked generously, as elegant and fresh as a white peony. This beautiful girl is not as weak as she looks, she is strong and independent in her bones, and in the year of cardamom, both parents died, and she suffered great trauma alone.
Pain may be the best baptism in life, without the protection of his parents, Chen Zhuyin had to fight for self-improvement. Born in a scholarly family, she graduated from the Sichuan Provincial Women's Normal School and went to Beiping for further study, becoming a new woman shaped by the May Fourth Movement, with ideological and cultural literacy, and talent.
After this meeting, everything was naturally ripe. One is a self-reliant new woman, who studied under Qi Baishi and has superb painting skills; One was an honest and upright Tsinghua professor, a great literary scholar, and one who was praised by Mao Zedong as "a man who showed national spirit." There is so much between them that can move each other, and in the article "Remembering Zhu Ziqing" written by Chen Zhuyin, she recalled the first time she met Zhu Ziqing: "His figure is not tall, he wears a pair of glasses on his white face, he looks elegant and upright, but he wears a pair of old-fashioned double-beam cloth shoes on his feet, and he looks a little rustic." I admired him so much that he wrote to me and I replied, so we started dating. ”
Zhu Ziqing wore a beige silk coat and a pair of glasses that day, looking very elegant, but who knew that he was wearing an old pair of "double beam shoes" on his feet. This pair of beam shoes made Chen Zhuyin's female classmate laugh for a long time, saying that she could not marry this dirt bun, but Chen Zhuyin was unimpressed.
Zhu Ziqing's impression of her is also very good, she is lively and cheerful, self-reliant and strong, those painful encounters have not left a shadow on her, and he can't help but feel pity. As one writer said, women's love for men is mostly produced by worship, and men's love for women is mixed with pity-protective.
He extended another invitation to Chen Zhuyin, and she readily agreed. There are delicious times together in a meal and a vegetable, their hearty laughter in the tram, and they go to the old movies together, and every moment of light and shadow weaves a network of memories for them.
Zhu Ziqing has learned to compose, Chen Zhuyin can draw and sing, and they have a common hobby to grasp, and things outside their bodies do not matter. But there is one thing that Chen Zhuyin can't help but be entangled in - Zhu Ziqing's ex-wife died of illness at that time, and he was alone with six children. Huanghua's eldest daughter, who is in her twenties, has not yet spent her honeymoon after marriage, and she wants to become a mother, and the challenge is too great. Zhu Ziqing was originally a weak man, but when he dated Chen Zhuyin, he tried to create an atmosphere. Watching movies, fishing, and walking around the lake, no longer going to work to see the baby at two o'clock and one line, life instantly has color. So when Chen Zhuyin retreated, Zhu Ziqing immediately rose to the challenge, writing 71 letters one after another, and the famous love sentence was also born at this time: "Yin, as soon as I see your eyes, I wake up, I prefer to see your red cheeks, the glow at dusk, thank you for giving me strength." ”
Wen Hao stirred up love words, which was in one sentence, hitting the atrium directly. In this way, Zhu Ziqing and Chen Zhuyin both ushered in their love unguarded. Zhu Siyu, the son of Zhu Ziqing, later recalled: One of them was in Tsinghua, the other lived in the city, and it was not very convenient to communicate with each other, so they wrote more letters at that time. Zhu Ziqing's love letters to Chen Zhuyin have preserved 75 letters, a few plain notes, endless lovesickness, and endless love.
The autumn dusk always gives people the illusion that they have turned white in an instant, and Zhu Ziqing once asked Chen Zhuyin to go to Xishan at dusk to watch the scenery. Looking at the mountains full of red leaves, Chen Zhuyin thought of Du Mu's poem, so he casually chanted: "Parking and sitting love the maple forest late, and the frost leaves are red in February." Zhu Ziqing listened, became more poetic, and improvised a Tang poem: "Maple leaf Luo's skirt is cut in one color, and the hibiscus opens to both sides of the face." I couldn't see it when I entered the forest, and when I heard the poem, I felt that someone was coming. ”
Chen Zhuyin heard the aftermath of the poem, and blushed in an instant. The two began to exchange frequent letters, and their relationship gradually warmed up. On a date at the end of 1930, Zhu Ziqing said to Chen Zhuyin in a letter:
"Last night's conversation in Yabei seemed to be somewhat interesting. At least that's what I'm an idiot person thinking. I admire your detached attitude, you are such a smart person! - Forgive me, I use the word smart too often, but I'm ashamed that I can't find another word to explain what I mean. Naturally, and even more interesting is our walk – in fact, it should be honestly walking! It's a pity that it's too cold and cramped... Hope for a sweet one next week – or a walk of course! ”
After receiving this letter, Chen Zhuyin said mischievously in his reply:
"Eleventh letter letter. Is my attitude 'if you leave'? I don't think so. I only realized that I was too straightforward and too implicit. From the letters, I discovered a new principle: replace "stupid" with "smart", and replace "smart" with "stupid"; in this way, it seems that the dictionary must be readapted. Until the new dictionary is published, the account is still unclear, only 'Let him go!' So there is a difference between 'sweet' and 'not sweet' for walking? This is also the first time to know. I look forward to actually understanding it, and I smile. ”
In his letter dated January 28, 1931, Zhu Ziqing wrote: "Brother Yin, this time our conversation seems to be different from before, that is, we have gradually become less reserved. He intimately called her "hidden brother", and he was deeply attracted by her cheerfulness and talent, and fell into the sweetness of love. It was the taste of cherry, sweet and a little sour, and he was fascinated by it, and he fell deeper and deeper, letting go of all his reserves, and letting himself love as he wanted.
On June 12, 1931, Zhu Ziqing wrote in a love letter: "Yin: As soon as I see your eyes, I wake up, I prefer to see your red cheeks, the glow at dusk, thank you for giving me strength." On August 8, 1931, Zhu Ziqing had already changed the title of Chen Zhuyin: "Dear sister, I have never tasted this in my life, and I am afraid that I will really become your prisoner!" ”
Zhu Ziqing's love for Chen Zhuyin has changed from "hidden brother" to "hidden sister" to "treasure sister", which is a process of warming up feelings, and at this time he has completely become the "prisoner" of Chen Zhuyin's love.
Love, while bringing sweetness, also brings trouble. Chen Zhuyin is like a flower-like age, and if she chooses Zhu Ziqing, it is equivalent to choosing his family of five children. What she longs for is to have a good love, not to be a stepmother of six children, nor to be the trivial and ordinary that fill life.
The cruelty of life sometimes seems very subtle, but it can also be so majestic that beautiful love collapses in reality. In Peiping in January, the students in Tsinghua Garden were on holiday. In the end, Chen Zhuyin still couldn't put aside the worries in her heart, and she began to deliberately distance herself from Zhu Ziqing. Imagine an unmarried girl in her 20s, to marry Zhu as a stepmother, but also to accept Zhu Ziqing's six children, which requires not only courage, but also love perseverance.
Chen Zhuyin's intentional alienation made Zhu Ziqing sad, and he wrote in his letter: "Zhuyin, this name has consumed almost all my alone time this holiday. I can't read it, and the whole newspaper is confused! I believe I'm a calm person, but God knows how disturbed I am right now. ”
Zhu Ziqing is inseparable from Chen Zhuyin's spirit, and Chen Zhuyin is also intoxicated by Zhu Ziqing's talent, they are each other's strength. Zhu Ziqing was completely trapped by love, and in a cold weather, Zhu Ziqing's stomach disease was tormented by physical and psychological pain together. The letter said that he had no one to take care of, which made Chen Zhu outside the letter feel worried and distressed. So after two years of entanglement, she finally handed the palm to Zhu Ziqing and took the hands of six children at the same time.
"My relationship with him is already deep. A person like him who is dedicated to learning and very talented should have someone to help him, and he will be harmonious and happy with him. So I thought it was worth the sacrifices. Chen Zhuyin's heart softened, why didn't she pity Zhu Ziqing, most of the letters between the two at this time were her care and distress.
Love has a special power to temporarily put all unknown fears aground. In the face of Zhu Ziqing's affection, Chen Zhuyin once again showed her boldness and strength. For him, she was willing to be a stepmother of six children.
Since then, dreams have died, brushes have been dusted, Kunququ has been shelved, as a talented woman, she has sacrificed too much, which may not be worth it in the eyes of outsiders, but she is willing. The two became engaged in May 1931. Perhaps it was these love letters that moved Chen Zhuyin, she finally calmly faced her strong feelings in her heart, accepted his children and his family, and she decided to work with him to rebuild the broken family and regain the beauty of marriage. Zhu Ziqing wrote in his love letter:
"Hidden, the night of sixteen was very memorable, we decided on a big event, thank you. I want to give you a ring, and I can see it next Saturday. ”
In 1932, after Zhu Ziqing's European study tour, the two married in Shanghai. Their wedding was held at the Xinghuacun Restaurant in Shanghai, and well-known literati in the literary and art circles Shen Yanbing, Zheng Zhenduo, Ye Shengtao, Feng Zikai and others went to congratulate them.
After marriage, they returned to Beiping and lived in Tsinghuayuan, and they soon had their own children, living a happy and warm life although it was bitter. But soon Chen Zhuyin encountered something entangled again. In 1934, Chen Zhuyin, who had been entangled for a long time, proposed to Zhu Ziqing to break up. Zhu Ziqing, who looked shocked, quickly reflected on what he had done: Ask who did the housework two years after marriage? Chen Zhuyin. Who takes care of the six children? Chen Zhuyin. So what did he do? Busy with work, neglectful of family. The smart and interesting girl back then was forced by him to become a tired housewife who guarded the kitchen every day. And he actually complained one day that Chen Zhuyin chatted too loudly with his long-lost old friend, delaying his rest.
At this time, Zhu Ziqing realized that in the past two years, Chen Zhuyin had given up his job, put aside his brushes, stopped singing, and resigned from the party for him and his six children. Shouldn't be, the girl who said that he wanted to join hands for a lifetime, how did he push people away alone? Zhu Ziqing carried out a profound self-examination, holding Chen Zhuyin, who was crying and pouring out, chatting freely all night and untying all the knots in his heart.
The two meet each other, no matter how busy they are, they will accompany each other for walks, listen to plays, watch movies, talk about work, and continue to collide with common hobbies that have been stranded for a long time. There are not so many desperate ways in the relationship, and what is not happy is that both parties refuse to lower their heads and talk. I take care of your feelings, you are more considerate of my feelings, husband and wife, this is to give each other strength.
Later, she also discussed with Zhu Ziqing: to cultivate children's sense of independence and life ability, they should not do what their parents do, although the family is poor, but there is no need to worry about it, all expenses can be saved, and it is enough to maintain basic survival.
In this way, Zhu Ziqing can concentrate on his work and not have to be distracted by anything else. And the woman who cried and did all the housework now took the initiative to take care of everything. Chen Zhuyin's dedication, Zhu Ziqing naturally understood.
After the outbreak of the Anti-Japanese War, Chen Zhuyin's entanglement became a heavy choice. In 1937, Peking fell and the three universities of Peking University, Tsinghua University and Nankai moved south. Follow the university to the south, then Zhu Ziqing will be separated from Chen Zhuyin, and if he does not follow, he is sorry for the school and the motherland, and he revealed in his letter that his heart was shaken, and he wanted to leave Tsinghua and return to her. Chen Zhuyin thought again and again, and firmly refused: "Peixian, your fate has long been closely linked to the fate of Tsinghua, and you must not scrupulously steal peace when the situation in the school is dangerous." Later, he instructed Zhu Ziqing: "Don't worry about our mothers, everything is based on the overall situation and the safety of the country." As a result, the whole family was separated and could only confirm each other's safety by letters.
Zhu Ziqing's love for Chen Zhuyin gave her the courage to support a family alone. And Chen Zhuyin's love for Zhu Ziqing gave him the strength to stick to his post in the war. Chen Zhuyin gave Zhu Ziqing the motivation to move forward, and it was she who made Zhu Ziqing.
At that time, Chen Zhuyin needed to take care of his children, and only Zhu Ziqing had a job, and his salary and thin manuscript fees were far from enough to support a large family. In order to save rations, Zhu Ziqing never ate full, and soon the stomach disease recurred. Chen Zhuyin felt sorry for her husband and secretly sold blood for money behind his back. But selling blood is not a long-term solution, and after weighing it again, she finally chose to take her child back to Chengdu, where prices are low, relatives and friends are low, and she can find a job.
Victory in the War of Resistance is not the end of the battle. Ten years of bumps, Zhu Ziqing's stomach disease has long deteriorated seriously. However, at this time, the United States took a bite back and proposed a number of policies to support Japan. In the past ten years, Zhu Ziqing can live and die with Tsinghua, and he will certainly not shrink behind at this time. Despite the torment of stomach problems, he resolutely signed the "Declaration to Protest the US Policy of Supporting Japan and Refusing to Receive American Flour". The poor do not eat the food that comes from the mouth, which is Zhu Ziqing's arrogance.
Because there was no flour, the family could only rely on Chen Zhuyin's small amount of grain to fill his stomach, and on June 18, 1948, Zhu Ziqing was admitted to the hospital due to a perforated stomach ulcer, and he unfortunately died after the operation. A generation of literary masters passed away in a hurry like the days he wrote.
Chen Zhuyin's last choice is a lifelong commitment. When Zhu Ziqing was dying, he once again told Chen Zhuyin: "I signed the declaration of rejecting US aid flour, and our family will not buy the American flour rationed by the Kuomintang in the future." Chen Zhuyin nodded, firm and serious. She was his strength, so he could safely trust her before he died. After that, she took care of all the children alone, and even after the death of her eldest son, she distributed half of her salary to her eldest daughter-in-law to help her tide over the difficulties. This insistence is 41 years.
After his death, Chen Zhuyin collected his grief and lived alone with their 8 children. After 42 years, she worked hard to raise her children as adults, and finally passed away peacefully.
She always carried a small box with her, which he had used when he was alive. After he left, she regarded it as a treasure, carefully treasured it, and never opened it in front of her children. Inside are the well-preserved 75 letters written by Zhu Ziqing, love letters written by him one by one, year after year, Chen Zhuyin repeatedly memorized the words in the letters, engraving them into his heart word by word. Although people go, the sound is still there, and it is as beautiful as it was back then. It is her confidence that allows her to unswervingly guard this home, even if he is no longer there. This woman, who has resisted alone for decades, seems to be the cool girl who has been moving forward back then.
The love of the Republic of China is somewhat legendary. But unlike the vigor of Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman, different from the romantic accompaniment of Lin Huiyin and Liang Sicheng, the relationship between Chen Zhuyin and Zhu Ziqing is more like a paper short love in daily bits and pieces. They have been entangled and pursued, and after marriage, they have quarreled and estranged. But at every moment of choice, they can always become each other's strength and give each other strength.
Without Chen Zhuyin's support, Zhu Ziqing had long been frustrated in the panic of taking care of the child. Without Zhu Ziqing's trust, Chen Zhuyin would not have grown from a cool girl to a super-powerful wife. If you go back in time, ask the young woman who looked tangled back then if she regretted choosing this arduous path. No regrets – this must be the only answer. Because giving to each other and growing together is the best love in the world.
In fact, true love should be like this. It should be to accept the whole of the other person, and should gradually sacrifice part of one's own individuality and freedom... If you want to hold hands to the white, if you want to get along with each other, you need to manage the relationship and marriage between the two with sincerity, just like them. Perhaps, plain is the essence of marriage, hot feelings are romantic, but they will also subside over time, but simple boiled water will taste more and more the more you drink.