Yesterday, I went to a relative's house as a guest. As soon as I entered the door, I heard a roar from inside.
"Go do your homework, when are you going to play?"
"Play until you die!"
"I raised you this big to make you angry with me, didn't I?"
"Hmm"
I don't know if I was embarrassed or too angry, and my relatives hit the child a few times with their hands. Her eight-year-old, like an angry little leopard, punched and kicked her.
Before he could get angry, the child actually picked up the shoe, threw it at her, and said viciously in his mouth, "Smash you."
But anyone who is a parent will definitely feel sad in his heart when he hears his child say such words. The originally imposing relative, sitting on the sofa, cried to tears.
Seeing this scene, my heart was also mixed. It is said that being a parent is a practice, but sometimes it really tests people's endurance.
Especially when the child reaches the age of seven and eight years old, the dog is disgusted, and they are full of the momentum that several cows cannot pull back.
With an independent will, they began to have the strength to rebel against their parents. When you feel like he has to say what you say, their response is to talk back and confront you.
If you don't let go and continue to insist, then the result of frontal confrontation is to be childish to death. Some people even can't control their temper directly, yelling and scolding at their children.
But seven- and eight-year-olds often don't feel afraid. Instead, he will treat you and fight back against you the way you treat him.
As a result, some parents will feel worried and afraid, "The child is so young, I can't manage it, and I dare not think about it in the future."
To be honest, when in this parent-child relationship, no matter who it is, it will feel broken, anxious, and even hopeless to do anything.
So, at this time, we need to understand why children at this age are so rebellious? Why did he become talkative and disobedient?
There are three periods of rebellion in human life:
The first rebellious period is 2-3 years old, when the child's sense of self begins to germinate.
6-8 years old is the second rebellious period, that is, the rebellious period in children.
12-18 years old is the third period of rebellion, that is, the period of adolescent rebellion.
In other words, seven- and eight-year-old children enter the second rebellious period of life. The reason why some parents feel distressed and powerless at this time.
Mainly because the child's self-awareness is further awakened. They feel that they have grown up and no longer need to be disciplined by their parents.
They want to make their own decisions and want to do everything according to their own ideas. It can be said that the bloodline suppression from the parents has no longer worked.
As a result, there is a phenomenon that when he wants to do something, but his parents say no, he is unwilling to listen.
And the more his parents refused, the more he contradicted it, had to do it, and simply could not listen to the advice.
If parents always feel that their children must listen to themselves, otherwise they will not be saved, then conflicts will often break out in the family.
What should parents do when a child talks back?
When the child begins to talk back, it means that he is slowly growing up and begins to have his own thoughts and opinions. The main reason for the family conflict is that he and his parents think differently.
Professor Li Meijin believes that children in the rebellious period need to be guided by their parents. When the child talks back, don't refuse to forbid it, try saying something like this:
1. If you don't like it, say it, but don't say hurtful things like "I hate you."
2. If you don't want to, Mom and Dad will respect your opinion.
Don't be tough, because children don't know how to let go of obsessions. Instead, when you let go, they suddenly give up confrontation.
3. I know you're angry right now, you calm down first.
Children at this age cannot control their emotions and are prone to anger. When children talk back, parents must first calm down themselves and not get into a dead end. Then guide the child to control his emotions.