Laughter: The Chinese Version of "Outlaw Treasure"

Author: Slow Three

My name is Jia Youcai.

This name was taken by my father, who was uneducated and poor, thinking that the name "rich" for his son meant very well, but he forgot his surname Jia. But God forbid, the name didn't drag me down. I'm very rich, a billionaire, to what extent, last year, I spent a huge sum of money to get the Forbes Rich List to erase my name from it. Well, I'm a fairly low-key person.

But unfortunately, people will eventually die. I died, cerebral hemorrhage, at the age of 68. It's a bit embarrassing to die at this age, I'm so rich, I should have lived longer. But that's fate. As someone who was once nearly starving to death, I lived too unrestrained. I love braised pork the most in my life, eating it every day, which led to my becoming a fat man weighing more than two hundred pounds after the age of 60, and my blood pressure also increased proportionally with the growth of fat meat. It made me ashamed, guilty, and vowed to lose weight, but my vows always seemed so fragile when a plate of shiny braised meat was in front of me. Finally, during dinner last night, the blood vessels in my brain suddenly burst and then fell like a shot elephant on my beloved walnut table. At the moment of death, I reluctantly chewed two mouthfuls of greasy and sweet braised meat in my mouth.

My soul floated out of my body and floated in mid-air. At this moment, I felt overjoyed that I was as light as a swallow, and at the same time felt sad for the pile of meat below. I have heard people say that after death, the soul of a person is only 21 grams, I still do not believe it, I think at least fat and thin is different, now I really experience it to know that it is true. In this way, I floated like a balloon, confused, thinking, where should the soul go after death? Suddenly, my left and right arms were grabbed by someone.

"I am an angel". The man on the left said.

"I am the devil". The man on the right said.

I tried to struggle a little, but I couldn't make it at all.

"What are you going to do?"

"Follow me to heaven". The angel said.

"Follow me to hell". The devil said.

Confused by them, I looked left and right incomprehensibly. The angel wore a white shirt, trousers, and a three-seven-point wavy head, slender, like a civil servant. The devil, naturally wears black clothes, but it is the kind of tight half-sleeves, bodybuilding pants, hair inches, full of muscles, like a fitness trainer. They are all men, Chinese.

The angel said, "I know that you have done a lot of charity in your life, and you are also a generous person, and you have not done anything that harms heaven and nature, and for a good person like you, we in heaven are very willing to accept it." ”

I said, "But I've never been religious." ”

The angel replied, "It has nothing to do with believing in religion or not, there are only two kinds of belongings to the soul after death, either to heaven or to the earth." It is we who choose you based on your merits in the world, not you who choose us. ”

I said, "What's so good about heaven?" Is there braised pork? ”

The angel replied, "No." People do not eat after death. ”

"Don't eat?" I said, "So what are you doing in heaven?" ”

The angel replied, "Do nothing, just stay." ”

I said, "Isn't it boring?" ”

The angel said, "Yeah, it's boring, but no way." Man lives with a choice, and when he dies he is deprived of the right to choose. ”

"Oh. Where are you? Mr. Devil. "I looked at the devil.

The devil said, "We are the same, bored. ”

I said, "That is, there is no difference between heaven and hell, is there?" ”

The devil said, "Heaven is a little brighter, hell is darker, everything else is the same, and the soul floats around." But..."

I said, "What? ”

The devil said, "Reputationally speaking, the two are very different. ”

I said, "Reputation? ”

The devil said, "Yes, those who go to heaven are good people, and those who go to hell are bad people, and this is a summary and judgment of your life in the world for so many years."

decide. ”

I said, "But if all my people are dead, what honor do they want?" ”

Devil: "Reputation is really of any practical use." But if you think about it, in the human world, is there any use for reputation? People are not fighting for this. ”

I said, "I kind of understand you when you say that, but it's actually a black and white stamp on my life, right?" ”

The devil said, "Yes, life is either black and white, that is, good and evil are clearly distinguished, that is, good people and bad people, such a simple truth, people actually do not understand." ”

The angel interjected, "How come they don't understand." It's nothing more than self-grooming. ”

I said, "Ok, I know, I'm not facing a multiple-choice question right now, right, Mr. Devil, what's the reason for pulling me to hell?" ”

Devil: "You must not have forgotten the fire twenty years ago?" ”

I said, "How could I forget?" I felt guilty about it for the rest of my life. ”

Devil: "That's fine. At that time, you obviously lacked ability, you had to build some orphanage, and as a result, you encountered a fire, which caused more than two dozen children to be burned alive. ”

That picture will never be forgotten in my mind, and whenever I think of it, I feel so bad that I want to throw up.

"My sins are deep. Mr. Devil, take me to hell. ”

"Wait," the angel pulled me along, "this thing is terrible, but it is a natural disaster after all. And through so many years of hard work, self-redemption has been achieved. ”

"Redemption? Haha, are you being funny? The devil laughed.

"The five children he saved at the time are now healthy adults."

"How can this sin be offset by more than two dozen dead and only five saved?" Angel Brother. ”

"You can't blame a natural disaster on his head alone. If it weren't for him, even these five children would have died. ”

"Natural disasters are indeed not false, but you must know that he has not even done a good job in fire fighting in orphanages, is this not his responsibility?"

"But if he hadn't taken in the dozens of abandoned babies, they would have been eaten by wild dogs."

"Since he took it in, he must take responsibility, there is no diamond diamond, don't take the porcelain work..."

The angels and the devil fought with each other, and neither would let go. My body has been taken to the hospital by ambulance, and the doctors are doing the final electroshock rescue. My five children came one after another. They cried in the corridor of the ward, which touched me very much, and I was glad that all my efforts for so many years had not been in vain.

"Shall we take a gamble?" The devil said suddenly.

"How to gamble?" The angels also came to be interested.

"We put Jia Youcai's soul back."

"Huh?" I was startled at the same time as the angel.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to keep you alive. None of us are qualified for that. ”

"So you mean..."

"I'll keep your soul in your body for three more days. In these three days, you are like this..."

The devil held me and the angel's head together and grunted about a plan.

"Is this okay?" After listening, I looked embarrassed.

"I think it's okay, if I lose, let you go to heaven with the angels, be a good person, and if you win, I'm sorry, you honestly go to hell with me." 」 Angel brother, what do you think? ”

"Fun is fun, but putting people's souls back is not in accordance with the rules, in case the leader knows about it, it will be trouble." 」

"Afraid of something, isn't it just three days, can't find it, besides, heaven and hell are so boring, and if I don't toss something, I'm going crazy."

"Exactly. that...... Just take a gamble. ”

"It's great." The devil shook his fists in excitement.

"But why should I be your bet?"

"To atone for sins, brother."

"Well, that... What should I do now? "I couldn't help myself for becoming a chip.

"Close your eyes, relax, and take a deep breath. Okay, go you! ”

I felt my body start to get heavier and slowly fall down.

Immediately after, a flash of white light flashed in front of my eyes, and I sat up violently on the hospital bed...

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