Our friends Zhang Zhiming and Yu Chunjiao, whom we have known for 8 years, are back. If my sister went to the theater to see the latest third part of "Chunjiao Save Zhiming", she was moved to cry and ran out of a pack of tissues.
Zhiming is not the domineering president of the idol drama, Chunjiao is not a Cinderella who flies up the branches, and their love does not have abortions, car accidents, amnesia and other dog blood bridges.
The reason why the story of Zhiming and Chunjiao can move us is not how ups and downs the plot is, but that each of us sees our own shadow from this ordinary couple.
The trilogy constitutes a complete "love book", although trivial, it answers every problem we encounter in love:
The first "Zhiming and Chunjiao": ambiguous is the sweetest and most bitter
The most beautiful stage of love is the ambiguous period. The reason why "Zhiming and Chunjiao" became popular in that year was that Peng Haoxiang meticulously depicted the mentality of the male and female protagonists.
ZhiMing and Chunjiao enjoy carefully trying each other, but they are also uneasy about the unknown outcome, and they enjoy 100 big dramas every day in their hearts - which relationship did not start like this?
The possible problems before the start of a relationship were also thrown out by Zhiming and Chunjiao:
Question 1: How to touch each other?
They met at a smoking gathering. Chunjiao first heard the gossip between Zhiming and his girlfriend, and after Zhiming himself arrived, everyone slipped away, creating the first short time alone for the two of them.
The next day, Chunjiao took the initiative to go with Zhiming and find a topic of nonsense. The two had a great chat and made excuses to exchange phone calls, laying the groundwork for a continued hookup.
In the evening, Chunjiao took advantage of the hot chase to send text messages, extended the topic by the way, and came and went to meet again. After a few days, I became more and more familiar, and the more I talked, the more I talked
Although it is a technical job, the essence is mainly to see whether the other party is willing to be pampered, otherwise it will only be a one-man one-man show.
At this stage, you retreat and advance, tempt each other, ambiguous.
Zhang Zhiming was afraid of embarrassment, and he asked the woman to come out, but he said "just to pass the time"; even the confession was "i miss you" in reverse.
Yu Chunjiao was too active because she liked him too much, took the initiative to ask him to go with her, took the initiative to text, and offered to share a 18-month couple phone plan.
But she was too proactive, and almost scared away Zhang Zhiming, who was not fully prepared.
The contest at the beginning of love, to know when to take the initiative, when to "give in". Mutual provocation is when you come and go, give enough space to each other, and give enough opportunities to open a new chapter.
Question 2: How to deal with old feelings?
At that time, Yu Chunjiao had a boyfriend who had been in love for 5 years, that person was not gentle and inconsiderate, and she was more like a free nanny to him.
Zhang Zhiming has just been put on a green hat by his beautiful girlfriend, reduced to a talking point after dinner for colleagues, and urgently needs to get out of the emotional wound.
The encounter between two people is like two cigarettes that touch together, and they burn at one point.
But for old feelings, how to deal with it?
Yu Chunjiao can't help but mentally cheat, and after being misunderstood by her boyfriend as a physical betrayal, she chose to break up decisively after explaining the uselessness.
Zhang Zhiming was not troubled by the loss of love for too long, still smoking and drinking every day, and quickly threw himself into chasing after me with Chunjiao.
Chunjiao seems to be unfaithful, but she is the greatest loyalty to herself. Why bother dying in a previous deformed relationship with no future?
Zhiming seems to be ruthless to his ex-girlfriend, but he is the biggest affection for himself. Only by not letting negative things revolve around you can you start a new life faster.
In the face of old feelings that no longer exist in love, the best way is to quickly cut through the mess, let go of the other party, and let go of yourself. Only by leaving the wrong person can we meet the right person.
Question 3: How to overcome hesitation in the face of new feelings?
Before embarking on a new love journey, the parties will inevitably have all kinds of hesitations and considerations in their hearts.
Zhang Zhiming is 28 years old, and Yu Chunjiao is 32 years old. She minded their age mismatch.
She will also be afraid, is this man serious about me? Does he really want to be with me?
In fact, Chunjiao is very clear in her heart: "It is very tiring to re-adapt to a person." "She's not a young girl anymore, she doesn't want to lose.
However, in the passionate period of love, human beings must be more emotional than rational. The desire to be exclusive to this person usually overwhelms the fear of difficulties and contradictions.
Zhang Zhiming said a word, and Yu Chunjiao obediently surrendered her weapons and surrendered.
In this way, no matter what happens in the future, at least give yourself a chance to feel. Is it a little cheaper to regret after trying than regretting not having tried?
Fall in love, and rush up. The hardships of the future? Let's talk about the future ~ If you give up the opportunity to try because of anxiety and fear, there is no future to speak of.
The second part of "Chunjiao and Zhiming": it is easy to love each other and difficult to keep each other
When the passion of love fades, the aura and filters on the lover gradually disappear, and the problems and problems are highlighted one by one. The person concerned also put on glasses like a nearsighted eye and finally began to face reality.
Zhang Zhiming and Yu Chunjiao have been in love for more than 5 months, and the love at this stage is no longer able to go down by relying on a single breath, and whether it can be well run-in determines the length of the relationship.
At this time, they are faced with new contradictions:
Question 4: Who is important to me?
Zhang Zhiming and Yu Chunjiao live together, and Zhiming exposes the nature of the big boy.
He began to perfunctory her, snubbed her, always using work as an excuse, and his girlfriend was going to compete with work.
▲ Chunjiao's mother had a birthday, he was busy socializing with the former leader, forgot...
▲ Chunjiao wants to party with friends, and he asks them to change to near the shooting site of his work, but he has been busy...
Zhiming repeatedly failed to deal with small things, which directly led to Chunjiao's negative return to her mother's house. What was originally a simple quarrel turned into a final breakup in Hong Kong.
Women look unreasonable, but in fact, they are reasonable in their hearts. They are not against men working, they just don't like men using work as an excuse.
The root cause is that Zhiming's own sense of responsibility is not strong enough, so that Chunjiao feels that she is not valued. She hates his immaturity, and their feelings will be rifted.
Men, when it is time to work hard, when it is time to fall in love, to accompany her. Dual use will only hurt both sides, and both leaders and partners feel that you have no intentions.
Question 5: Should I have a long-distance relationship?
Zhiming accepted the invitation of the former leader to go to Beijing to develop, but he only informed Chunjiao, but did not send her an invitation to go north together.
What about this love? Chun Jiao was angry, and her boyfriend seemed to be unaware. Awkwardness turns into a breakup, and the problem doesn't have to be solved.
Invitation means more responsibility. Girlfriends quit their jobs for themselves, and men are under pressure. Zhiming may not be sure of the future of going north, and he does not dare to shoulder the heavy responsibility of raising Chunjiao.
And if it is to maintain a long-distance relationship, he probably does not have the confidence to run well. Can relying on the phone really maintain the deterioration of feelings? Can you not be tempted when you go to the new world? Zhiming may not have the answer either...
In real life, some couples may know how to maintain a long-distance relationship, and some can't maintain it without seeing it... You go to work in another city, and it's not your business alone.
Before making any decisions, remember to communicate well with two people. If you love him, please respect him.
Question 6: If it is difficult to continue to stay together, do you still want to be together?
This is the main issue discussed in the second part.
Zhiming has a young and beautiful little girlfriend, and Chunjiao meets the mature and stable uncle Sam. Zhiming and Chunjiao's love affair is a thing of the past, and they should all enjoy the new love of "made in heaven and earth", right?
The answer is no... When Zhiming and Chunjiao fell in love, they did not have outsiders to stir up trouble, and now they have become each other's third party.
Psychologically worried about that person, but afraid of repeating the same mistakes. They had to evade responsibility and satisfy temporary pleasures with stealing. The willfulness of two people, the hurt of four people, and the pleasure based on betrayal are doomed to not last long.
Chunjiao proposed to break up completely, and Zhiming finally made a little progress, learned to take the initiative to recover her, and promised to be a responsible man.
Zhang Zhiming has a "spaghetti theory": spaghetti is not very tasty, but he likes it, just like Chunjiao is not as young and beautiful as his little girlfriend, but he just loves her more.
The ex-girlfriend and the little girlfriend both think that he is childish to play with dry ice in the toilet, and only Chunjiao is willing to play with him. Meeting a person with tacit understanding should be cherished, if you can't put it down, why not get back together? She wants you to change, you change.
▲Chunjiao accompanies Zhiming to play with dry ice.
▲ The little girlfriend is good but dirty.
Zhiming and Chunjiao told us not to be a third party under any circumstances, and not to say anything "can't help it". People who love each other can always find a way to go on, as long as you still love each other, don't go around doing evil.
The third part of "Chunjiao Saves Zhiming": If love is long-lasting, it must be changed
It is said that the country is easy to change, and the nature is difficult to move. In love for 8 years, Zhang Zhiming's growth rate can not catch up with the speed of age growth.
They have not yet entered the palace of marriage, but Yu Chunjiao has a "crisis of middle women"...
Old problems coupled with new contradictions, the bottleneck period of love problems:
Question 7: Concealment or reporting?
ZhiMing went to walk the dog and play skateboard with the girl who talked to him, and the dog took the opportunity to arch a purebred noblewoman dog. The beautiful owner of the lady dog asks ZhiMing's mobile phone number to be "responsible".
Zhiming did not tell Chunjiao. The text message of the owner of the beautiful woman informing Zhiming that the dog is "not pregnant" was seen by Chunjiao. Misunderstandings arise, a big war comes...
ZhiMing's idea is very simple, more is better than less, and he will definitely be scolded when he says it. But the sensitive Chunjiao will think, if you don't have any crooked thoughts, why don't you dare to tell me?
In fact, behind this is the trust problem. Men always like to play small clever, but all of them can't hide women's eyes. Men's little cleverness plays more, overdraft the amount of trust, women will become more suspicious, encounter anything to think badly.
Couples should be frank with each other from the beginning, communicate in time when encountering problems, and treat each other with affection. In the future, even if there is a misunderstanding, the woman will believe your explanation.
Question 8: In the face of danger, do you want to fight to the death to save me?
During their trip to Taiwan, Zhiming and Chunjiao were suddenly hit by an earthquake. Chun Jiao panicked and clung to the toilet door. Zhi Ming persuaded and dragged her not to move, so he had to hide under the table by himself.
Although Zhiming was shouting chunjiao the whole time, Chunjiao was discouraged after the earthquake and immediately packed up and left to break up.
Chun Jiao was aggrieved, Zhiming was also aggrieved, and even the audience felt aggrieved when they watched it...
In the face of danger, women naturally hope that men can become umbrellas. But in the case that the other party has fulfilled its obligations and you yourself are not angry, do not blindly blame others, or review yourself first.
If you think differently, can you do better than him?
Question 9: Why don't you give me a sense of security?
I have to say that Chunjiao is a bit "done" in this part. But after all, it is a 40-year-old unmarried woman, the little boyfriend is uncertain, and it is easy to attract bees and butterflies, and it is normal for her to have a "mid-woman crisis".
After playing with the child for a while, Zhiming suddenly said that he wanted to have a child; the marriage proposal was hastily carried out at the gas station, and he couldn't think of a reason; there was a woman who wanted to borrow sperm to have a child, and Zhiming did not immediately refuse... Such a man should indeed score low.
And the father who abandoned his wife at that time returned with a new girlfriend. Seeing her father, who has not yet been determined, Chunjiao can't help but worry that Zhiming will always be like this... Even more dramatized her insecurity.
She was too unconfident in herself and too afraid that Zhiming would not grow up, and breaking up seemed to be the only solution.
In fact, why bother, the sense of security can not all depend on another person. The most important thing is yourself. Instead of complaining about Zhiming all the time, learn to protect yourself first.
In the end of the third part, ZhiMing coaxes Chunjiao back home by means of a creative marriage proposal. But guess what, will Zhiming really change in the next movie?
The story of Zhiming and Chunjiao has been filmed one after another, and their relationship is stuck in the problem of repetition. Two people want to smoothly work together for a lifetime, in the final analysis, they must fundamentally understand and solve the problem.
Zhang Zhiming's problem is that he is not mature enough, lacks responsibility and responsibility.
In the movie, it is said: "People have such a long life, they will always fall in love with a few scum." "Is Zhiming a scumbag?" Kind of scum.
Immaturity is not the most serious contradiction, but it is to know mistakes and not change them.
He always promised to change, but the action was not powerful. Every time there is a critical moment, he will do tricks to make Chunjiao move. After tricking her back, the days are still going their own way.
In the face of Zhang Zhiming, who is not big, Chunjiao can choose to "endure" and blindly accommodate him; she can also choose to "roll", completely disappear one day, and never look back.
But neither of these is definitely the best ending, the other way is to start with yourself and change, and the two people go side by side.
Chunjiao's problem is the trouble of the original family. Her father's abandonment of the family was a nightmare of her girlhood, which still affects her concept of marriage and love.
She said several times that Zhang Zhiming was very much like her father, who did not grow up. She was afraid of becoming another abandoned woman, she was afraid that Zhiming would destroy her home.
In fact, if there is a problem in a relationship, you can't blindly find the reason from the other party.
Zhiming should not complain that Chunjiao wants too much, and Chunjiao should not dislike Zhiming for giving too little. The first thing two people have to think about is what their shortcomings are.
If Zhang Zhiming knows that he is willing to change, he may not be a good husband and father; if Yu Chunjiao no longer doubts the ghost, he and the other party can breathe a sigh of relief.
When Miriam Yang and Yu Wenle were interviewed by Sister If, they both expressed similar views.
Yu Wenle said that men's growth does not depend on others: "Only they can influence themselves." ”
Miriam Yang said: "Every woman has a stage of insecurity. Take a break in place, think about your own questions, and start over for sure to find the answer. ”
If the sister always said, we can only have a richer love for others if we love ourselves first.
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