Have you all seen the cartoon "Dream Quest"?
I remember many people, when they saw it, they cried a lot.
Some people cry because of "death"—
"The real death is that no one remembers you. Remember the people you love and have loved";
Some people cry because of "dreams"—
"I'm fed up with asking for consent, I don't want to follow the rules, I want to follow my heart";
Some people cry because of "family" —
"Family is more important than dreams."
Under the heavy tear gas of death, dreams, and family, we see "reconciliation".
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="16" >-1- Reconcile with the past, love can truly flow freely</h1>
The first reconciliation in the film comes from great-great-grandmother (Imelda).
The roots of this tradition are the past between great-great-grandmother (Imelda) and great-great-grandfather (Ector).
Because of the music, Ector abandoned his wife and daughter and never returned. Imelda relied on the craft of making shoes to raise young girls and support the whole family, and all the hardships did not need to be said too much, so she vowed never to let anyone in the family touch music again.
Behind No Music is the trauma of Imelda's abandonment, not being loved, and the most vulnerable part of her heart.
This part of vulnerability is the past that she can't let go.
In order to protect this part of vulnerability, she built a thick layer of defense: tear off the head of her husband in the family portrait, no longer mention her husband, no longer sing, hate music, and no one in the family can make music.
So, when Miguel first asked her for her blessing, she attached a condition: don't touch the music again.
Trauma sometimes comes from interpretation.
Many times, we will only interpret the whole picture of the whole event from our own point of view, and one-sided interpretation may lead to internal trauma.
Imelda's interpretation of Héctor has always been that of a scumbag who abandons his wife and daughter for the sake of so-called musical dreams, and she is a victim of being abandoned and not loved.
But when she saw the whole picture of the whole event:
Exto didn't want her and the child anymore, he regretted it, he found that family was the most important thing, and wanted to give up his easy-to-reach success to be with his family. It was also this wish that brought him the misfortune of killing himself.
And even in the world of the dead, Ector did not give up his family and spared no effort to see his daughter Coco.
When Imelda saw the whole picture of the matter, she stopped reading the past in the pattern of the victim:
Although the lover did run away from home, what did it matter that he eventually wanted to return to his daughter and her; and she also admitted that Héctor had always been her favorite man.
Let go of the past, reconcile with the past, reconcile with the music, love really begins to flow freely—
Imelda can stand on the stage, show her singing voice, and re-experience the charm of music.
This time, she gave Miguel's blessings, without any strings attached.
Many people have a past that cannot be put down, or have been abandoned, or have not been loved, or have been hurt, and these pasts that cannot be put down are like baggage, heavy and heavy in the heart, making us breathless.
We are angry, depressed, resentful, seeing ourselves as poor victims, and in order to avoid being hurt again, to protect our inner vulnerability, we build a strong castle, unwilling to try again, even more unwilling to touch. Behind the inability to put it down is actually fear.
Only by stopping touching the thing that makes us vulnerable will we be truly safe.
The past that cannot be let go will imprison our present and lock our ability to love.
In fact, every period of confusion or bump in life is a reminder of life: we may need to explore inward, we may need to see the world as a whole, we may need to grow more to achieve happiness.
Only by truly letting go of the past can we move forward lightly and usher in the flower of life that blooms to the fullest.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="132" >2 The second reconciliation in the film comes from Miguel and his family</h1>
Miguel is a rebel of the family, and in the atmosphere of no music, he has a musical dream. He wasn't very interested in the Day of the Dead, where the whole family was waiting, and only wanted to go to a music competition.
He insisted on his dreams and tried to turn it into reality, and no matter how difficult life was, as long as he had a guitar.
Is it not very similar to when we were young, desperately pursuing dreams and pursuing true love, thinking that our family members are saying the same old truth, thinking that their love is a kind of bondage, and sometimes, even thinking that they are stumbling blocks on the road of dreams.
At that time, we tried our best to break free from the shackles of love.
Miguel, too, got into a fight with his family and left in a rage, feeling that they were nothing compared to their dreams.
For a guitar, he broke into the world of the undead. There, he met his ancestors, the most worshipped gods of song, and the dusty past of the past.
"Family is more important than dreams";
"This song is not written for the whole world,
It was written to my daughter Cocoa. ”
As the truth of the past slowly surfaces, and after experiencing Exto's longing for Grandma Coco, Miguel begins to reconcile with his family.
His goal of staying in the world of the dead has changed, no longer to go back "with the blessing of his musical dreams", but to go back "with that picture of Exto", so that he cannot be forgotten.
Miguel's mental journey is actually very similar to that of his great-great-grandfather, Ector:
Leaving family in order to dream of it – realizing the preciousness of family – returning.
The following year, on the Day of the Dead, although Grandma Coco left them, the big family was really reunited, all the living and the dead.
This process of reconciliation, like his great-grandmother Imelda, saw the whole world as it was.
The obstruction of your family is not stubborn and incomprehensible, there is actually a deep pain behind it, it is a kind of fear, they are afraid that you will be hurt again and repeat the mistakes of the past.
It's a kind of love.
As we grow, we will also understand that there are many ways to achieve our dreams:
On stage, receiving the cheers of the crowd is one way;
At home, singing to an elderly grandmother, awakening her memories of her father, singing to the family, enjoying music with them, it is also a way.
Dreams and families are not a choice between two or the other, but a existence that may exist at the same time. We need to face, explore, see the whole picture, accept and reconcile.
When we are no longer paranoid about the pain of the past, no longer clinging to our own pursuits, and can take all our encounters as the gift of life, reconcile with the past, reconcile with our parents, and reconcile with the world, we will have inexhaustible strength and love in our hearts, and we can truly live the present.
Today's topic
Is there a topic in your family that cannot be brought up
Or someone who can't bring it up?
Feel free to share your story in the comments section