Anna once cried and said, "I just won't marry in my life, and I won't get together with Wang Gui."
After being "forced" to marry Wang Gui by Mother An, one of her most common words was:
I've never fallen in love with you, and I don't have a common language with you redneck.
From beginning to end, Anna felt that she was married to the "hillbilly" Wang Gui, in her heart, Wang Gui was not worthy of her, whether in class or ideology, they all had a world of difference, and her spiritual pursuit was something Wang Gui could not catch up with in her lifetime.
Until Wang Gui "cheated on him", Teacher Wu of the unit carefully reminded her to look down on Wang Gui, "Don't always look down on Wang Gui, he is also a person with status now, or you have to watch tightly." ”
Anna said with disdain on her face:
Just that pig head three in my house? Marriage is not a treasure, who wants who to take it, I would like it.
Anna never thought that being a small and lowly prince in front of her for a lifetime would one day have "someone outside", of course, even if he really cheated and had other women, she didn't bother to "catch a traitor" or cry and beg to save his heart.
She just looked at the two holding hands with an almost "contemptive" look at the two holding hands one night while guarding Wang Gui on the way from work, which made Wang Gui panic, and Xiao Guifang fled.
Anna hung Wang Gui for several days before she said to Wang Gui in a calm manner:
I tell you Wang Gui, don't think how rare I am for you, I have always treated you as a rag, someone you will say, everyone is good to talk about scattering..... You say divorce, I will sign it immediately, but there is one article, this family will leave everything to you, and the children will belong to me.
Anna overcame to solve the problem of Wang Gui's "desertion" outside of marriage, that is, she did not cry or make trouble, and even "the husband has an external heart, and the wife strives to save the process of marriage", Wang Gui went home to the family in ashes.
Because Wang Gui knows that Anna doesn't care about her life without him, but his life can't be without Anna, in this marriage, they each take what they need, and they have never really loved each other, but he doesn't have Anna's confidence to start a new marriage.
From the life of the two alone, Wang Gui seems to have been in a weak state in this marriage, he obeyed Anna's words, worked hard, scolded, handed over all wages, bought vegetables and cooked to take care of the children, and did all the things that men did not want to do, even Mother An was not without emotion, she had picked up a treasure to get such a good son-in-law.
I never knew before, for life, Wang Gui is indeed an impeccable husband, why Anna has never been moved by him, until in the original work, I saw Anna put down her pride and dignity and rode a tricycle to pick up vegetables and leaves, I don't know why she has never fallen in love with Wang Gui in her life.
01 Marriages that are "pulled hard" together
Anna's parents are down-and-out capitalists, although Anna has not lived a few days of "Miss Capitalist", but she has a natural petty bourgeois temperament in her bones: elegant literature and art, not alarmed in the face of chaos, and arrogant.
Of course, in addition to these, she is also meticulous about the requirements of life:
Clothes should be worn without a trace of wrinkles, braids should be combed without a single hair, towels should be hung in the corners, although this girl has not passed through the world, but she is so proficient.
Anna has a high-level pursuit of life and ideals, and she just met with Wang Gui, who is "not a tula", and stopped thinking about developing with him.
Her ideal partner is like "Fox Saucy": talented, elegant, and able to resonate with her spiritually.
Wang Gui did not meet her standards, originally thought that he was a college English teacher, can talk to him about Socrates and Shakespeare, do not want Wang Gui to eat rudely is a Henan Bangzi play, whether in spirit or life, she and Wang Gui have an insurmountable generation gap.
Anna resolutely vowed to "never marry in my life, and I will not come together with Wang Gui".
Wang Gui also can't look at Anna, he and his uncle refused to get along with Anna three times, feeling that he was a poor boy, Anna was too proud, he didn't look at him squarely, and it was too uncomfortable to get along with her.
Later, his uncle arranged for the two to go to the ball game, and Wang Gui looked at Anna's younger brother, and instantly understood Anna's thoughts, and he once again withdrew and said to his uncle: I think this person is not easy to get along with, unpredictable, and the strong twisted melon is not sweet, forget it.
Under the coaxing of colleagues and the pull of his uncle's "distorted facts", Wang Gui was inexplicably arranged for marriage, and he hesitated to raise funds and said: I am not ready!
Although Anna did not look at Wang Gui, everyone in the An family was twelve points satisfied with Wang Gui, and in that era, with his decent status as a university teacher, it was simply a pie in the sky for Anna, who was still in the factory.
Mother An didn't want to miss this rare good son-in-law, so she decided to start first and help Anna book this marriage first; Over there, my uncle couldn't wait to personally escort Wang Gui to the door to ask for relatives, and under the hard pull of my uncle led by my parents and colleagues, this husband and wife who were not very satisfied with both parties were united.
In this way, Wang Gui finally held Anna's hand in the stiff tug of related people such as his uncle, brother-in-law, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and colleagues.
This marriage has nothing to do with love, only realistic compromise and exchange of interests.
Wang Gui is not like Tong Zhi in "Golden Wedding" who is attracted by Wenli's beautiful appearance, nor is he like Jiang Defu in "Parental Love", who has a simple love for An Jie and pride in her.
Wang Gui married Anna, completely passive, he never thought of actively pursuing her or not marrying her from beginning to end, but has been coaxed by everyone, he feels that marrying her is a kind of decency, and he will not suffer losses if he can't marry, the aura of "capitalist wife" can allow him to take off the hat of "rural hillbilly", let him integrate more decently into the circle of urban people, and completely get rid of his former "redneck" identity.
And Anna, completely for the benefit, in her words, she is just for life, with her down-and-out "Miss Capitalist", people with good conditions will not risk marrying her, Wang Gui is the person chosen by his parents, and his own conditions are not bad, which was Anna's best choice at that time.
In the face of reality, the fantasy of love has become a pebble treasured in childhood, which people like but are worthless.
In this marriage, both parties have no love, but because of each other's needs and become harmonious, and even mutual perfection and accommodation, which may be the reason why they have no love between them, but can stay together for a lifetime, which also shows that the essence of marriage is not love, but a value exchange that balances each other.
Just like Qian Zhongshu said in "Siege of the City": marriage does not need too great love, and not hating each other is enough marriage capital.
02 I have never taken on family responsibilities, the money is given to the family, and I never care about eating chaff vegetables at home
Every time Anna quarreled, she would scold Wang Gui as a "hillbilly", calling him vulgar, insensible, and sloppy; And Wang Gui always curtsied and curtsied favor while agreeing with promises.
He is diligent and pragmatic, and since he got married, he has taken care of most of the housework in the family, washing, cooking, and raising children, always protecting Anna when dangerous things are behind, and Anna told her daughter when she was old, "I still don't know where the gas canister is hidden at home." ”
In this marriage, it seems that Anna will always be aggressive and enjoy the high, and Wang Gui will live a lowly life without status.
But if you look at their lives carefully, you will find that the seemingly weak Wang Gui is the biggest beneficiary of this marriage.
Before they got married, Mother An asked Wang Gui that there were so many brothers and sisters in their family, and he sent money home every month, so how would he retire his wife and children after marriage, Wang Gui vowed:
My mother said that after getting married, you must take care of the small family, and you don't have to take care of everyone's affairs.
But the truth is that he did not take on the responsibilities of the family after marriage, as he promised.
Anna married Wang Gui upside down, and Mother An prepared all the things she needed in life, from bicycle sewing machines to washbasin watches, inside and out, all for them to buy everything, and almost never let Wang Gui's family buy a stitch and a thread.
Wang Gui still sends money home every month after marriage, even if the rice at home can't be uncovered, Yueyue lives by borrowing money from her mother's house, Wang Gui still sends it correctly, Anna will scold him every time she looks at the rice bowl that is cleaner than her face:
You don't treat this home as your own home at all, there is a problem, there is no money, so you ask your wife to come forward to scrape your mother-in-law's house, scrape the money and then steal it back to your own home, have you ever been able to treat this place as your own home one day, I am your family's porter of rural construction, your family will marry a daughter-in-law today, add a grandson tomorrow, and build a tile house the day after tomorrow, which money is not dug out of my mouth.
Wang Gui always said "What can I do, there are difficulties at home" and sent Anna, Anna cried and said:
If your family is difficult, is my family not difficult? The clothes that the children wear are all leftover from my sister's children, and I don't make a single piece of clothing all year round, and eat dried radishes and cabbage every day.
Wang Gui not only sent home his own money every month, but Anna saved 50 yuan for a few months to save money, and the money she planned to give her girlfriend to get married was also secretly sent home by Wang Gui.
Wang Na looked at the rice bowl that had bottomed out and the only 5 yuan that came down, wanting to cry without tears, she weakly asked Wang Gui what to do in the next half month:
The family is so nervous now, you can't not send it for the time being, no matter how good I am to you, eating chaff vegetables can't exchange your sincerity towards home.
My mother still points to money.
How to spend the next ten days?
Deal with it!
How to deal with it, you take a method, don't tell me to go to the union to borrow again, I'm embarrassed if you are so embarrassed, the beginning of the month is returned, and the end of the month is borrowed back.
Wang Gui asked: What then?
Forget it, I'll figure it out, and Anna's way is to go back to her mother's house and ask her parents. You are my man, I look down on you, but others must look up to you, otherwise they will look down on me, I will do things that damage the scenery of my family, and you will go to the things that put gold on my family
Although Anna has always been poisonous and has always regarded herself as a "queen" at home, from beginning to end, she gives a sense of decency and arrogance, but outside, she gives Wang Gui enough face, and will never embarrass him in money, even if she is low to borrow money to ask for someone, she will not let Wang Gui do such an embarrassing thing.
In Wang Gui's eyes, she is a "little fairy who does not eat the world", petty bourgeoisie, elegant, high-minded, talented, he never imagined that this usually delicate "otherworldly little fairy" would one day borrow a tricycle to go to the countryside to pick up vegetables and leaves for a living:
He would never have thought that Anna, who is usually delicate, would personally borrow a tricycle and run to the countryside to pick up vegetables, and also found a jar to pickle the vegetables, and when Wang Gui learned all this, he was shocked and asked him why he didn't tell him.
She said: Tell you what to do, this kind of thing does not want you to do, you are a university teacher, a person with status, this kind of shameful thing is still done by me, a small worker.
Unknowingly, Anna has lived to be the "housewife little citizen" she once disliked and disdained, and put down her self-esteem to pick up vegetable leaves in order to eat a bite; To live, let go of pride and borrow money.
Her ideals, her pride, the twinkling light in her eyes and the high standards of life have been worn out little by little by life, and she is no longer the proud daughter of heaven whose ideals are above all pride, but a housewife who takes her children and home as the radius and no longer has the courage to step out of the house.
03 Conclusion
Wang Gui had a psychological struggle after being "caught" by Anna:
When it was really a last resort, he could abandon Anna, but he could never bear the child, and the most unbearable thing for him was that once Anna divorced, she would be a free woman.
What would free Anna do? She will eagerly pursue her ideals, go to university, become a scientist, she will fly high, go far, will leave Wang Gui far behind, so that he will not reach her all his life.
This is also the reason why he tried his best to prevent her from entering college:
You can't go to college, if you go to college, your vision is broad, your ability is high, you can't dump me."
Anna is right to say that he is selfish and mean, he has never loved Anna, in his heart, she is the person he can give up at any time, but for the sake of his so-called face and man's self-respect, and for his own interests, he will also keep her in captivity.
Of course, Wang Gui is not useless, he is not like Tong Zhi, he only pretended to be a "good husband" during his new marriage, and later exposed his true face, became the family's hand-shaker and cabinet, and even spent the second half of his life in spiritual derailment.
Wang Gui has been the main labor force in the family since he got married, and it is basically his business to do laundry, cook and take care of his children; Although most of his money was sent to his family in the early stage, as long as he had money on hand, he also gave it all to Anna; And in his mother-in-law's house, he never had a big man's shelf, and every time he went, he was busy in the kitchen with Mother An; In the process of getting along with Anna, he has always been an accommodating party.
For life, Wang Gui can indeed be regarded as a good husband, after all, there is no perfect person in the world, and there is no perfect life.
Anna once said to her daughter "find a man to live, or your father is so good", although she disliked Wang Gui all her life, but she was still very satisfied with her life, she and Wang Gui all her life, but never fell in love with him in her life, I think probably she knows that Wang Gui, like her, has never loved her, only regards marriage as a cooperation.
They all do their best to maintain this marriage because they all need each other, need a stable home, and support each other to have the courage to get through this chaotic world.
When the husband and wife come to the end, what supports the marriage is not some romantic wind and snow, nor is it a vigorous passion, nor is it a soul mate with a soul, but the sporadic tenderness and tolerance in the tedious life, warming each other's hearts for many years, so that we have enough strength to support each other to the end.