On the stage of "Sound and Life", Liu Xijun once again swept the whole network with a song "Let Everything Follow the Wind".
And her unique and cold singing voice is also known as a wind blowing from the southern country, blowing into people's hearts.
As the song goes: "You are like the north wind, blowing away my dreams, and let everything go with the wind." ”
Liu Xijun's life seems to be light and cloudy, but in fact, it is more than a few ups and downs.
From the well-deserved strength faction, to disappearing in front of everyone for three years, and then to the comeback, the style of the song has changed from the past sweet and become mature and introverted.
What exactly did she go through? And how did you cultivate yourself and successfully achieve transformation?
In the midst of the loss of voice,
Regain the power to set out
After the end of "Happy Girl" in 2009, Liu Xijun, like most singers, released albums, participated in music activities, and worked hard for her dreams while they were hot.
After a few years, the career was also a small achievement, but in 2013, Liu Xijun, who had been active on the stage, suddenly disappeared.
People are speculating, where did this elf on the stage go? But unbeknownst to him, Liu Xijun encountered the biggest blow in his musical career.
At first, it was just that the throat was uncomfortable, thinking that it was just a small cold and did not care too much, until the throat became more and more serious, more and more dumb, and even occasionally could not make a sound, Liu Xijun realized the seriousness of the problem.
She went to the hospital and was eventually diagnosed with a rare disease that "develops systemic autonomic disorders."
This is a sympathetic imbalance that leads to a neurological disorder in which the body's functions cannot be controlled. In simple terms, the more you want to do something, the less you can do it.
For professional singers, a problem with the voice can be a fatal blow.
Liu Xijun began to go to a number of hospitals for treatment, tried various methods the effect is not obvious, she gradually became silent, allowing those disappointment, anxiety, loneliness of negative emotions to vent, almost forced herself into autism when serious.
In the darkest moments of life, everyone needs a little ability to bottom out, and so does Liu Xijun.
She said: "That time was a little difficult for me, three years is actually enough to give up an ideal, but every time I ask myself if I want to give up, there is a voice telling me that I can't give up, because after giving up, I have lost one of your dreams, and it is too difficult to continue to find the next dream." ”
It is such a change in mentality that supports Liu Xijun to persevere, and because he finds companionship and comfort in music, Liu Xijun can have an inch of the world to express himself.
Let her not give up hope in despair, always encourage herself to persevere when frustrated and disappointed, and actively seek a solution to rescue.
Liu Xijun received more and more professional physical therapy and vocal training, even if she needed to bear the pain of needles on her tongue every day, she did not hesitate or regret it.
In this way, after three years of adjustment, Liu Xijun's condition finally improved, and she took herself into a butterfly and set off again.
Although Liu Xijun is not hot now, it is no longer important to her; Because being able to sing again, to be able to come out of the darkness again, is her greatest hope to return from the bottom of the valley.
Liu Xijun said: "I still have a sense of fear of losing my voice again, but I think the best way is not to worry too much, don't be afraid, to face it." Ten years after my debut, I can still continue to make music, isn't that a very happy thing? ”
This power of Liu Xijun, like the wind, not only undertook the impermanent arrangement given to her by fate, but also saved herself at the same time, but also lifted up countless people who liked her and drew forward momentum from her.
Have the endurance to usher in the gift of life
The "self-acceptance" embodied in Liu Xijun is also called psychological endurance in psychology.
Psychological endurance is the ability of individuals to bear and regulate psychological pressure and negative emotions caused by adversity, which includes three levels:
Can it withstand the blows and pressures? Is there a belief in getting out of and out of trouble? Thus avoiding their own psychological and behavioral disorders.
For Liu Xijun, this endurance made those three years become the nourishment of her life and creation, which not only carved tenacity and open-mindedness in her personality, but also allowed her to rewrite her own life.
Endurance is also a necessary condition for everyone to recover their energy in adversity and regain hope in life.
The famous hypnotist Eriksen suffered from polio at the age of 17 and was paralyzed.
Mom brought in three doctors, all of whom diagnosed that they would not survive tomorrow.
But he didn't believe the doctor's words, and kept telling himself in his heart, "I can definitely see the sun tomorrow!" ", a sleepless night.
Three days later, the doctor came again and told him the results of the diagnosis: You will not be able to stand up in this life.
Still in disbelief, Erikson challenged himself again, imagining in his mind the picture of himself standing up, imagining touching the tree, but the reality was that his hands and feet were trying to move slowly.
Three years later, Erikson successfully walked upright and tried to cross the Mississippi River alone;
He not only challenged the miracle of medicine, but also lived a wonderful life through pain, becoming a famous psychologist and hypnotist.
In the face of life's adversity challenges, Erikson has also been disappointed, confused, and painful, but he finally relied on his strong endurance to play a bad hand in life into a good card.
Because difficulties don't diminish your self-worth or affect who you want to be.
Back in real life, we have also seen many people who were born with a good deck of cards but lost a mess; The root cause is that they lack the endurance, and they are prone to collapse after failure, and eventually lose the courage and hope of life.
As it is said in Alternative: "Only by changing the misconception of misfortune and enhancing our own endurance can we take the first step of self-healing." ”
With endurance, you can fight more and more courageously in the face of adversity and suffering, and usher in a greater gift of life; Lose your endurance, and adversity will become the last straw that overwhelms you, making people lose without a fight.
Write a chapter of victory for the chess game of life
Life is impermanent, and there will always be some sudden accidents.
Just like the three years when Liu Xijun lost her voice, after nirvana was reborn, she faded her original innocence and fragility, grew high-flying wings from the depths of her heart, and like the wind, she relied on herself and took on herself.
So, when we encounter the darkest moments of life, how can we bear and heal?
1. Let go of the defense mechanism and learn to surrender
In the face of accidents, our first reaction is often to activate defense mechanisms, evade or even deny facts, suppress our emotional expressions, or find alternatives to comfort...
This defense mechanism protects us from negative events in the first place; But defense also allows us to escape from reality, expending more emotional energy on an unchangeable external environment.
Only when we begin to accept and surrender to reality can we think of the most appropriate solution based on reality, and the focus shifts from escaping from the impermanent fate to "the responsibility I can bear."
Surrender allows us to regain control, which is the basic condition for having endurance.
2. Strengthen faith and "replace" negative emotions
No matter what the trough you are in, keep the conviction that sooner or later the dilemma will pass and that suffering is only temporary.
Just like Liu Xijun's firmness and love for music, she can never give up the hope of recovery; Erikson's belief is that "everyone has their own solution to their problem." ”
Therefore, when facing or describing negative emotions, try to replace words such as "daily" and "always" with "recent" and "sometimes". For example, when you want to say, "I feel bad every day," change it to "I've been feeling bad lately" so you realize that sadness is only a temporary state.
3. Learn self-compassion
After a setback, do you have the idea of "I'm really bad"? But dear you know, excessive blaming yourself will only make you more and more inferior.
To escape from this unnecessary state of self-blame, you need to learn self-compassion. In other words, give that part to others with kindness to yourself.
Proper self-compassion allows us to pull ourselves along during the trough and help us rebuild our self-confidence in life. Remember: Being kind to yourself is the cure for your wounds and the way to heal yourself.
Adler said: "What determines us is not the experience itself, but the meaning given to it."
All accidents and difficulties, from another point of view, are the most important strokes for our lives, which nourish our inner beings, exercise us, and make us stronger.
May you continue to improve your self-sustainability and give it a positive meaning; May you become more and more courageous in the chess game of life and write your own chapter of victory.
*This article is co-authored by the author and Zhang Defen Space's main writer group, if you need to reprint, please contact the authorization.
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