In May, Mark Zuckerberg shared a photo with his wife, Priscilla Chen, sitting in a rocking chair on the porch holding hands, looking at each other and smiling, their eyes full of bright eyes:
"After 10 years of marriage, half a lifetime together, there will be more adventures in the future."
The scene in the photo is still the porch of the duo's residence, the black rocking chairs are still the same two as 10 years ago, but there are more game rooms in the yard behind them, because they have two lovely daughters after marriage.
1►Priscilla Chen's upbringing
Priscilla Chan , born in Massachusetts in 1985 , is a Chinese-American pediatrician and philanthropist.
Priscilla attended State Quincy Middle School as a high school, and then entered Harvard University with honors and a full scholarship to study biology and Spanish.
Priscilla's father, whose father was originally from Xuzhou, Jiangsu Province, China, lived in Vietnam, and in the 1970s, when Saigon fell in Vietnam, he and his Vietnamese wife arrived in Boston, the United States, on a refugee ship, and settled in the United States as refugees. With a language barrier and unable to find a job, they were initially confined to living in refugee camps. After that, he began to work in restaurants, working 18 hours a day in the morning and in the dark, and his wife also worked two jobs.
The duo then used their years of savings to open a small Chinese restaurant on a food street in Boston in the early 1980s.
In 1985, they welcomed their first child, daughter Priscilla. He then gave birth to two daughters.
The family's economy is stretched, and in her spare time, Priscilla often takes her two younger sisters to her parents' restaurant to help with work, sometimes working until late at night, directly in the restaurant to shop, and then rush to school the next morning.
"Education leads to a better life"
Priscilla's parents work hard and desperately to earn money, and have only one thought in their hearts, they must let their children receive the best higher education and truly realize the "American Dream". Like all Chinese parents, they firmly believe that "education leads to a better life".
But her parents were busy with work and had little time to take care of the three sisters, so Priscilla and her two younger sisters were brought up mainly by their grandmother when they were young.
Grandma was a spiritual teacher
Although grandma does not understand English, can only speak Chinese, but has a cheerful personality, optimistic and confident, is a knowledgeable and reasonable person, from an early age to teach her granddaughters the truth of life, developed Priscilla's independent, self-reliant, hard-working outlook on life. From an early age, they learned to make their own decisions and learned to take responsibility for their own lives.
According to Priscilla's former teacher, "Grandma was Priscilla's emotional backbone and had a huge impact on her life. ”
At the age of 13, he decided to enter Harvard
At the age of 13, Priscilla decided to go to Harvard and set her mind to become a great doctor in the future and use her strength to alleviate the pain of others.
In order to realize her Harvard dream, Priscilla has been studying hard, and at a young age, she gets up every day before dawn, memorizes words, reads texts, writes homework, and even on the way to school, she often walks and reads.
Know what you want and be willing to work on it
In order to make her resume look richer, she participated in various activities at the school, and even went to ask her teachers how to get into Harvard. The teacher was shocked, "She was so young, she knew what she wanted, and she was willing to work hard for it." ”
Poor family situation and ordinary appearance, but prompted the little she learned from a young age: to be positive, optimistic, do not stand in place and wait, to take the initiative to prepare for self-survival, rather than passively waiting for time and fate to give answers.
Although Priscilla has always shown herself to be strong and hardworking, she has actually struggled with inferiority and self-blame.
Harvard dropout storm
Priscilla's academic confidence fell to the bottom after enrolling at Harvard. In a CNN interview, talking about her difficult path when she first joined Harvard, she wiped tears with her hands and said: "It was so hard. When I first arrived at Harvard, I felt like a loser, I felt like I didn't belong there, and being smart was my only strength, but at Harvard, there were so many people who were smarter than me. I couldn't fit in at all, and all my classmates were saying the same correct answers, emphasizing the same questions, and saying things I couldn't understand. ”
She even filled out the paperwork for transferring from Harvard, planning to leave the place where the students were either rich or expensive and well-informed.
"Before leaving, I wanted to do something while I was still at Harvard, so I decided to volunteer and volunteer in a low-income settlement project. That project happened to be near the neighborhood where I grew up, and that's when I realized how lucky I really was. ”
"I met a 10-year-old girl who was in an after-school tutoring class with her brother but she hadn't been to the tutoring class for a week and the tutor at her school came to her and I said ' I haven't seen her, but I can help you find it'. But when I found her, I was sad because as soon as she spoke, I found that two of her front teeth had been knocked out. I was shocked, was I missing something that caused her to get hurt? Could I have done something to keep hurt from happening? In that case, I blamed myself very much. ”
Embrace the bigger picture
She said she still remembered the pain and anger in her heart at that moment, and she began to want to fight for them, to protect the other children from harm and not to fall here.
She began to reflect on herself and embrace the bigger picture, she said: "There are a lot of kids who simply can't touch these opportunities in front of me, so I have to stay, stay at Harvard, and try to make a difference." That way I can help more people open the door to a new world. ”
2► Zuckerberg
Mark Elliot Zuckerberg, born in 1984 to a Jewish family in White Plains, New York, is the founder and CEO of the social networking site Facebook and has been dubbed the "Second Gates." It is reported that Zuckerberg's current value is roughly more than 600 billion yuan, ranking among the top 10 in the world.
Zuckerberg began writing programs in middle school. His father taught him programming himself in the 1990s and then hired a software developer to tutor him. The tutor had said zuckerberg was a child prodigy.
When Zuckerberg was in high school, he had already started classes at a university near his home and developed several tools and procedures. At that time, Microsoft and AOL wanted to recruit and train Zuckerberg, but Zuckerberg still chose to enter Harvard University for further study.
In 2002, Zuckerberg enrolled at Harvard University.
In love
In an interview, Priscilla said of their acquaintance: "He and I met in a Harvard dormitory. His friend threw him a party. At the party, he said let's start dating tomorrow because I might soon be kicked out of school.
However we really started dating a week later, we went for a cup of hot chocolate together and the date felt good. And he said ' It's nice to be with you, to go to a movie later?' Although I still have a midterm exam to prepare for, I'd rather date you'.
I was stunned at the time, and my impression of him diminished a lot in an instant, this guy is not good at studying, and it is estimated that he will not be able to do anything in the future. So at that time, I was not very happy, and I thought it was better to go home. So I turned him down and told him to hurry back and review. He thought I wasn't interested in him. But I think it's fun to be with him, even if he doesn't have anything to do in the future. Although he wasn't studying well at the time, I still enjoyed the date that night. So in the end I still promised him, and then little by little to get to today. ”
The Law of Love
Before deciding to live together, in order to "protect the rights and interests of women in love", the two went through some negotiations before Priscilla officially moved over. The two also laid down a law of love: "No matter how busy you are, go on a date once a week, spend at least 100 minutes alone, and the dating location is not included in Zuckerberg's house, let alone meeting on Facebook." ”
Never cling
In 2007, Zuckerberg invited Priscilla to join Facebook, but Priscilla unexpectedly chose to work as an elementary school science teacher at a School in California.
Because her childhood ambition is to become a pediatrician, in the face of her boyfriend's "recruitment", she chose to continue to chase her dreams.
In June 2008, she entered the University of California, San Francisco to study medicine, and left a sentence on her homepage: "Study hard, be a doctor."
In 2013, when Priscilla graduated, Zuckerberg congratulated her: "I'm so proud of you, Dr. Chen. ”
Simple wedding
After Priscilla graduated from the University of California, the two sent out invitations to friends and family to party with her and Zuckerberg at their home in Palo Alto, California.
The invitation did not tell the family and friends that they were going to have a wedding, and the relatives and friends thought they were going to a party celebrating Priscilla's graduation from medical school.
When the young couple appeared in wedding dresses, everyone suddenly realized that "this is a well-planned wedding". The wedding took place in their backyard and was attended by fewer than 100 guests.
Priscilla's wedding dress, which is neither chest-bared nor set with any jewelry diamonds, costs only about $5,000 and is a directly available style on the market. The wedding ring she wears on her hand is not a pigeon egg, but a ruby wedding ring designed by Zuckerberg himself. Zuckerberg was already a billionaire at that time.
The food at the wedding was also not hearty, it was all "home cooking", mostly provided by a few small local restaurants they had always loved. Afterwards, the guests walked with the two newcomers to a local restaurant to taste the mouse-shaped chocolate that they both liked, because they ate it on their first date.
Low regulation frugality in life
Although they have been worth hundreds of millions of dollars, the lives of the two have always maintained low regulation and frugality. They often eat at small local restaurants, ride in Japanese cars of around $20,000, and don't buy a new home until they get married.
Although the duo's current home is worth $7 million, it is only because the land price in Palo Alto, California, is too high, and the house itself looks very ordinary, similar to the house of an ordinary middle-class family.
The Jewish people are known for their intelligence and frugality, and the Zuckerberg family is no exception, and under the education of his parents, he believes that showing off wealth is a very shallow act, and he cares more about how much value he can create than a luxurious life. In this respect, Priscilla happens to match his values. Priscilla is also too simple to be simple, not wearing gorgeous clothing, nor excessive socializing, the main energy is used on how to "change the world, serve the world".
Da ze also benefits the world
In a 2011 interview with the media, Gates said of his partnership with Zuckerberg for charity: "I didn't say to Mark, give me all your money. But he had this intention, so he took the initiative to come to me. He and Priscilla are commendable, I only started doing charity at the age of 40 and they're starting now. ”
Bill Gates said it was Priscilla's passion for education that zuckerberg donated $100 million to a school in New Jersey in 2012.
In 2015, after the birth of their eldest daughter, Max, the couple announced that they would donate 99% of their Facebook stake (worth about $45 billion) to form a charity dedicated to education, medicine and science, the Zuckerberg Chen Foundation (CZI).
In 2015, Priscilla said at a CZI press conference:
"As a child from the bottom, I have parents who believe that education is life-changing, and teachers who led me to fall in love with science. However, not all children are as lucky as I am.
This motivates me to fight for it – no matter what background a person comes from, he should have the opportunity to unleash his potential and chase his dreams.
I myself was fortunate to meet very good teachers and professors who guided me step by step to where I am today.
But as a nation, we should build a relatively fair system. Give everyone the opportunity to develop their potential, not just rely on luck. ”
That same year, the duo donated $75 million and $5 million to San Francisco General Hospital and the American Dream Scholarship Program, respectively.
The two then donated another $25 million to help combat the Ebola outbreak in Africa.
In a letter to the child, they wrote:
"While news headlines are always some bad thing, in many ways the world is getting better.
People's health is improving, the number of poor people is shrinking, and the knowledge reserve is increasing. People are interconnecting. Technological advances in each area mean that your life will be very different from what we live now. We will contribute to this, not only because we love you, but also because we have a moral responsibility to all children of the next generation. We believe that the value of life is equal, and this includes future generations with a larger population than the present. Society has an obligation to invest now to improve the lives of future generations, not just our generation. ”
In 2016, they founded The Primary School, a nonprofit organization, to provide education from preschool to Grade 12.
In January 2022, Priscilla was named to Forbes' list of the 25 most generous donors in the United States.
"I climbed her high", she is not unbeautiful, but someone ignores her.
There are always some keyboard men who like to say that Priscilla is not worthy of Zuckerberg, but Zuckerberg says, "Actually, I climbed her":
"I love her expression, strong and kind, courageous and loving, leadership and supportive."
Wilde once said: "There are too many good faces in the world, and too few interesting souls." Funny is not limited to being funny and having a wide range of interests. What it really means is one person's understanding and identification with the true value of another person.
Some netizens commented on people who ridiculed Priscilla's appearance: "I can't believe that someone's discussion of a woman of Priscilla's level still focuses on appearance, thinking that Zuckerberg will not choose a wife." People with this kind of cognition estimate that they have basically no chance to turn over in this life. ”
With Zuckerberg and Priscilla's excellent vision and rich life experience and insight, the soul mate chosen is something that the Love Brain and Appearance Association can understand.
One of the best qualities in the world is: Don't be judgemental! (Not arbitrary)
A beautiful mind is far more than a good skin bag.
There is no bright skin bag in the world that can resist the erosion of time, no matter how delicate the face, it will age with the erosion of time, and what can really shine forever is the beauty of the heart and spirit.
In today's domestic Internet celebrity aesthetic flood, whether it is appearance or body, Priscilla does not meet the aesthetics of most Chinese. But in the face of such a tenacious and loving Priscilla, who can deny that she is a truly excellent woman with an unparalleled style.
She is miserly with herself, but she loves others, such a great beauty, no matter how many knives and needles are used in the face, can not be created, no matter how much gold and silver jewelry can not have.
Not only husband and wife, but also partners and mentors
Priscilla said, "We know what the other person's motivation and strengths are, and we know when to give constructive feedback." As a wife, it is really not easy to do this. But if it's as a collaborator, it's much simpler. So we have a clear distinction between when we are family members and when we are partners. ”
Zuckerberg once wrote an open letter to his eldest daughter Max, in which he specifically mentioned that his decision to devote himself to health care and education was deeply influenced by Priscilla:
"We did what we should have done, not just because we love you, but also because we have a sense of moral responsibility to the next generation."
We believe that all men are created equal, and our society has an obligation to ensure that all people, regardless of race, origin, or living circumstances, have a chance to succeed.
To this end, your mother and I are willing to do our part. ”
Zuckerberg learned Chinese
Although Priscilla was born in the United States and spoke fluent English from an early age, out of respect for the Chinese cultural background of Priscilla, who was his girlfriend at the time, and the pleasure of his grandmother, who could only speak Chinese, Zacker Burke spent a year learning Chinese and hired a Chinese doctoral student at Stanford University to teach him Chinese. Every morning he would learn Chinese with this Chinese teacher for an hour. Although the learning process was difficult, Zuckerberg was already able to talk to his grandmother.
Whether in the workplace or in marriage, we are strong or attractive, others will take the initiative and be willing to please us, and the premise of respect and pleasing will only be based on strength or charm and cannot be asked.
3►Go beyond Maslow's highest level of demand
Maslow once divided human needs like a pyramid, from low to high: physiological needs, security needs, social needs, respect needs, and self-actualization needs.
There are many rich people in life who are still meeting the lowest level of physiological needs. Priscilla and Zuckerberg, on the other hand, seem to have pushed the highest demand, not simply self-actualization, but a genuine effort to make the world a better place, "to change the world, to serve the world."
Truly beautiful and long-term feelings must be spiritual door-to-door pairs and mutual achievements.
4► Diversified aesthetic trends
Albert Einstein said, "A man's worth is not in his appearance. ”
Generally speaking, the western mainstream group's view of mate selection is more oriented towards value rather than appearance. Due to cultural differences, Western elders are less involved in their children's feelings, marriages and personal lives, and their living conditions are relatively more dispersed and independent, coupled with the relatively more perfect social welfare and security, people can have more time and energy to pay attention to their own emotions and needs, and think about other issues besides survival.
While some people are still stubbornly insisting that good looks are the chips for obtaining a happy and stable marriage, there are always some pioneers who are using their own examples to let the public see our world, and are on the road of paying more and more attention to inner and spiritual strength, whether they are celebrities or ordinary people around us.
As technology, economy and culture continue to advance, the world is moving in the direction of everything that is possible, and it seems that high-quality marriage resources have long ceased to belong to those who are white-skinned and long-legged or only have an advantage in appearance and material.
Those who have a small heart that only think that appearance and material things are important, ignore the inner and spiritual strength, and have a high self-esteem, may become less and less important in the marriage market.
Write at the end:
In more than ten years of work experience, I found a very realistic phenomenon, those who are always obsessed with some external details when screening objects, often most of them are firmly stuck outside the door, dead or alive into the stage of not knowing more good qualities of each other and even establishing intimate relationships.
And those who are extremely inclusive from the beginning, willing to communicate with more samples with an open and friendly mind, and do not set too narrow restrictions, go smoother and faster along the way, and the result is often quiet and happy.
Boldly guess, there are more and more "excellent" leftover men and women, perhaps only because their understanding of intimacy and marriage is not big enough?
The above analysis is only aimed at people with marital and love appeals.
Note: The picture comes from the Internet, and the copyright belongs to the original author.