The documentary "Squatting at home at the age of 42" was filmed by NHK. NHK is The largest radio and television organization in Japan and the only public radio and television station in Japan. NHK is known for producing high-quality documentaries, on a par with the BBC in the UK.
NHK's documentaries, which introduce humanistic scenery, record the world situation, and expose the shortcomings of society, have left a deep impression on Chinese audiences with their rigorous and objective production style, ingenious conception and advanced shooting technology.
NHK has filmed a documentary about the Japanese army's Unit 731 exposing the evil deeds of the Japanese army
And this "42-year-old squat at home" focuses on Mr. 'Sato Gaku', who is suffering from depression, and records the pain and helplessness of his life in 30 minutes. In a special way, Mr. Sato Xue also faced the source of pain in the past, helping him release some of his inner hardships.
Sato is 42 years old and has been escaping from society at home for more than 20 years.
Facing the director, he said with emotion that the muddy life had reached this age when he came back to God. When I was still thinking about what to do in the future, I found that it was now the future!
According to his own recollection, when he was in elementary school, he was bullied by the school, did not dare to go to school, and hid at home every day.
In addition to evasion or avoidance, his excellent father did not understand his troubles at that time. His father said in an interview that if he was bullied, shouldn't he be beaten back? No matter what language is used, in short, it is usually rebellious.
No matter what happened to Sato Gaku, the father still wanted his son to go to school like any other child.
The director also gave a brief interview to his father, a researcher on jet engines and winner of the Warsaw Conference's Outstanding Paper Award.
I think it was because of the father's own excellence that he could not understand his son's cowardly behavior, so he did something that made Sato More painful in the later stages.
Sato Gaku's first feeling about his father is 'fear', he feels that his father has a very strong feeling from society, and even feels that as soon as his father returns home, the whole family atmosphere will become different.
His father did not understand Sato Gaku's inner thoughts, but only hoped that he would continue to go to school like a normal person. And Sato's escape from home is an unacceptable behavior for him. The father began to 'help' Sato Gaku with his own actions.
Every morning, the father would take out a mechanical alarm clock and put it next to Sato Gaku's ear, hiding in the bed, so that the alarm clock would keep ringing and ringing, so as to arouse his son's desire to go to school. But he did not expect that his extreme operation would make Sato Gaku more afraid of the world and this society.
Sato's only thought at the time was 'just thinking about dying', and he didn't understand how his father could hurt others so easily. The other was his father's biological son, Sato Gaku.
Because of being constantly urged, taught, and tortured by his father, Sato changed from his initial depression and fear of socialization to anxiety. I started washing my hands non-stop, over and over again, even if I washed the bleeding, I still couldn't stop
At that time, Sato Gaku was very miserable every day, thinking that only death was liberation, there was no future, and he did not know what to do in the future.
At that time, the only warmth came from his mother, who was disconnected from society, and there was only his mother in his life. His mother took care of his food and clothing, and endured his nameless anger when he was upset.
And it was also such a mother, when Sato First discovered an institution that could do psychological counseling to help with psychological problems, his mother did not allow him to go, and his mother told him that if he went to that place, the situation would become worse.
Sato Gaku in his youth
At that time, Sato Gaku was so isolated that he did not even have the ability to call a psychological counseling agency. It feels abandoned by the whole world, and sometimes I think that it would be nice if someone cared a lot about themselves.
Time flies, and in the blink of an eye, I am 42 years old. Nothing can be achieved, still afraid of this society.
He tried to run for city council in 2017, and after a day of hard work, the next day, he said he didn't have the courage to get up, so he lay in bed for a day.
Now engaged in simple handmade work, and such a simple work, he will suddenly feel powerless, unable to get up, unable to face life, unable to take the tram to work, can only lie at home, until he is slightly better to go to work.
He sometimes wonders why this is the case and what is wrong. Whose fault is it? Is it a parent? Sato immediately rejected his own ideas, saying that it should be himself who was wrong.
At the end of the film, the director of the documentary also invited Sato Gaku's father to come and examine his past life face to face. Let them make a judgment about the past.
This was the first time the two fathers and sons had met after many years, and Sato Hadi had been trying to control his expression, sometimes unconsciously looking to the side, not daring to look at his father. Even the questions asked are written on a small paper card in advance and brought over.
And the first question is 'why don't you let him go to the psychiatric department for treatment'.
My father's answer was, 'At that time, there was still a great prejudice against psychiatry. I feel that if the child is sent over, the more it will be treated, the worse it will be. (I think this is also some of the prejudices that many people have about the psychiatric department at present.) ）
Sato gaku finally went to a free psychiatric consultation room, and in the face of the doctor's request to meet with Sato Gaku's father to communicate, Sato Gaku's father did not hesitate to refuse.
Sato now wonders if his father and doctor would have been able to understand himself more quickly if he had communicated with his doctor at that time. And can I get better faster under my father's understanding?
The conversation between the two people once made Sato Gaku very painful, and even interrupted the recording for a while and got up and walked out of the recording room to ease his emotions.
When he came back to record again, the father said something like ' I sometimes see your brother's family, your sister's children, and see them living happily with their children, dad hasn't done that before, maybe that's what the family should look like'"
Speaking of later, looking at the middle-aged Sato Gaku, I couldn't help but cry, 'For your own children, it will still be very painful, it is because of your own children, I hope that children will ask for so much, I hope you can understand. ’
My father also reflected, crying and saying that he didn't do that because he hated you, but that was still too unfair to you.
If only we could communicate openly together at that time, it would be nice to sit together and communicate calmly at a time like now
And Sato Gaku couldn't cry.
At the end of the face-to-face conversation, Sato picked up a small note, and his father laughed as soon as he saw it. The note read 'Thank you'.
A lady named Sakamoto, whom Sato learned when she was being treated, once said to Sato Gaku, have you ever thanked your father?
At that time, Sato Gaku suddenly realized that because of his emotional problems, he had always felt that no one cared about him and no one understood him, but in fact, his life at that time had always been inseparable from the care of his parents. I should have said thank you to my father.
At the end of the film, there is no happy ending, and the father gives Sato a mobile phone number, hoping that his son can often contact him. But I never waited for my son's phone.
Sato was supposed to move and try to start his life again, but in the end he fell ill again. Hiding behind the curtains and saying to the director, I should move now, if the ending is to move, what a good ending. But I can't get out now. I have no energy
This documentary is a complete record of the emotional state of a depressed person.
Significantly lasting low mood and decreased interest. Slow thinking, impaired cognitive function, motor retardation, anxiety, lack of self-awareness.
His childhood experiences allowed Sato to spend decades trying to dissolve, and even then he still needed to take medicine every day, afraid of the crowd and afraid of the train, unable to integrate into normal society and socialize.
His experience undoubtedly has a lot to do with his parents' early education, and his parents' misunderstanding of psychological counseling has also prompted Sato's psychological problems to be delayed.
Decades of staggering, time is like water. Looking back, both his parents and Sato feel that they caused all this. If you can start over, can you communicate calmly and well, and whether you can take the child to take the initiative to find a psychological teacher for help. Is not hard work everything will be different.
No one can answer.