In 1988, the 88-year-old Zhang Youyi died peacefully in New York, USA! As Xu Zhimo's ex-wife, after divorcing Xu Zhimo in 1922, the two no longer had a direct intersection!
However, after Xu Zhimo's death, Zhang Youyi fulfilled all the responsibilities of a daughter-in-law. However, after his death, Zhang Youyi's tombstone had only 4 words on it.
And it is these 4 words that are like Zhang Youyi's explanation to Xu Zhimo in this life, but also like a merciless mockery and laughter of Xu Zhimo!
So, what stories happened between Zhang Youyi and Xu Zhimo? What four words were inscribed on her tombstone after her death?
One: The match made in heaven, the "dirt bun" in Xu Zhimo's eyes
Zhang Youyi's grandfather was Zhixian county in the Qing Dynasty, and his father Zhang Runzhi was a huge wealthy man in Baoshan County, Shanghai at that time. There are 12 brothers and sisters in the family, Zhang Youyi ranks eighth, and among the four sisters, she is the second daughter.
Zhang Youyi's family had a strong political and economic position in the society at that time, and such a family background was nothing less than a huge help for Xu Zhimo, and Xu Zhimo was able to marry Zhang Youyi, which can be said to be "high climbing".
However, Xu Zhimo, who pretended to be a high-ranking person, believed that Zhang Youyi was from a remote place and had a shallow learning, so when he first saw her photo, he frowned, the corners of his mouth went down, and said "rural buns".
However, Zhang Youyi actually received a good education from a young age, and once studied at the Second Women's Normal College of Jiangsu Province, but she failed to complete her studies. One day when she returned home from school at the age of 13, her father and fourth brother, Zhang Jiaxuan, gave her a silver box with a picture of Xu Zhimo.
The man in the photo has a bit of a big head, a pointed chin, glasses with gold wire rims, and looks polite. Her father and brother asked her if she was satisfied.
Although 13-year-old Zhang Youyi received education, after all, she was young, and in the era of "the order of her parents and the words of a matchmaker", she naturally had no opinion.
Moreover, at that time, she also naively thought that as long as she scrupulously abided by her duty, assisted her husband well, and honored her in-laws, she would naturally get their love and have a happy marriage. In this way, the Zhang family accepted the dowry under the Xu family, and the two made a marriage contract.
In 1915, at the age of 15, Zhang Youyi dropped out of school and married into the Xu family in Zhejiang.
At that time, they held an extremely grand Chinese wedding, and everyone present envied the blessing, and in everyone's opinion, this pair of talents and beautiful people was a match made in heaven.
But what the world does not know is that in Xu Zhimo's eyes, this combination of "parental orders" is feudal scum. The reason why he reluctantly accepted it was because he was bound by the word "filial piety"!
Therefore, after marriage, Xu Zhimo ignored Zhang Youyi's love and answered, and each conversation did not exceed five sentences. As for fulfilling the most basic obligations between husband and wife, it is only because of the fulfillment of the parents' wish to hold their grandchildren.
Four months after their marriage, Xu Zhimo left Shanghai to study law at Beiyang University (Tianjin University), and then transferred to Peking University, leaving Zhang Youyi alone in the boudoir.
During this period, Zhang Youyi carefully followed the instructions of her mother before marriage, and after marriage, no matter what the relationship with her husband, she must be filial to her in-laws.
To this end, she sewed and mended at home every day, and in her spare time, she stood by the window, waiting for her husband to come back every few months, and then she was alone again.
In 1918, Zhang Youyi gave birth to Xu Zhimo's first son, Xu Jikai (Ah Huan), completing the task of passing on the inheritance of the family, after which Xu Zhimo threw his hands and went to the United States to study, leaving their mother and son to ignore it.
In 1920, Xu Zhimo went to the "London School of Economics and Political Science" in the United Kingdom to study, and the Xu family's parents thought that the husband and wife had been separated for too long, so they sent Zhang Youyi to Britain to reunite them. Although Xu Zhimo had a thousand reluctances, the "order of his parents" could not be violated, and he could only agree in desperation.
According to Zhang Youyi's recollection of going to England to find a husband, she stood on the deck anxiously waiting for the ship to dock, and Looking East and West wanted to see her husband who was thinking about the night as soon as possible.
In the distance, Zhang Youyi saw Xu Zhimo at a glance, but that impatient face made her hot heart instantly cold.
The first thing Xu Zhimo did when he received Zhang Youyi was to take her to a department store in the United Kingdom, where he selected some dresses, shoes and hats for Zhang Youyi.
Perhaps in Xu Zhimo's heart, he has always despised and disliked her, especially after experiencing the influence of Western open thought in the past two years, he and Zhang Youyi, a traditional Chinese woman, are destined to drift apart.
Second: Marriage change, forced to become the first woman in modern Chinese history to be divorced by civilization
In 1921, Zhang Youyi became pregnant again, and when she told Xu Zhimo about this matter with joy, she was exchanged for Xu Zhimo's cold words: "Beat the child." ”
She was surprised, stunned, confused, and she didn't know or understand why her husband was doing it. The traditional education she received from childhood made her not allow it, but for Xu Zhimo's sake, she even thought about compromise.
Until one day Xu Zhimo informed her: "A friend will come to the house at night. ”
Since no one else had ever come to the family, Zhang Youyi thought that this was Xu Zhimo's girlfriend outside and wanted to marry into the family as a second wife, perhaps letting her beat up the child.
So Zhang Youyi tried to adjust herself, trying to make herself appear calm and generous. She was in a state of anxiety for a day, waiting for the "love enemy" who came to her home at night.
In the evening, Xu Zhimo and his friend Miss Dong returned home. However, to Zhang Youyi's surprise, Miss Dong's exquisite short hair and a smart suit were wrapped in a pair of small feet, which looked extremely incompatible. This made Zhang Youyi, who has a heavenly foot, laugh out loud in her heart, and at the same time she was very puzzled: How could a talented and beautiful person with open minds who her husband liked wrap a pair of small feet?
After dinner, Xu Zhimo sent Miss Dong away, and when he returned, he asked Zhang Youyi what he thought of it, and Zhang Youyi thought about it and still maintained an easy-going attitude:
"Well, she's fine, but her little feet don't match the suit."
Such words seemed to hit Xu Zhimo's long-suppressed heart, so he screamed loudly: "I know!" That's why I wanted a divorce. "Perhaps, this is his purpose in taking Miss Dong home." In Xu Zhimo's mind, Zhang Youyi's thoughts were like a small foot wrapped in a foot wrapper, which was incompatible with him.
After this day, Xu Zhimo did not say goodbye, leaving Zhang Youyi, who was pregnant, alone in this foreign country.
Until a week later, Xu Zhimo's friend came to visit and also brought Xu Zhimo's message: "He wants to ask you... Would you rather be the daughter-in-law of the Xu family instead of Mrs. Xu? ”
Zhang Youyi was speechless, perhaps she did not know how to answer, after sending this friend away, she knew that Xu Zhimo would not come back.
In desperation, Zhang Youyi could only ask for help from her second brother Zhang Junjie, and the second brother said: "The child is born, I will raise it." So he took her to France and then to Berlin to have a baby. And Xu Zhimo, who knew all this, always turned a deaf ear.
In 1922, the second son Peter was born, followed by Xu Zhimo's divorce agreement. "You asked him to come, and I'm going to ask for clarification." As if unwilling to compromise, Zhang Youyi said to the messenger.
To this end, Xu Zhimo finally came to Berlin, which was the first time she appeared without saying goodbye, because she was anxious to get a divorce.
Looking at Xu Zhimo's anxious appearance, Zhang Youyi's heart was like ashes, but she said that divorce must be approved by her parents.
However, Xu Zhimo was anxious to retort: "No, no, you know, you must sign now, Lin Huiyin is going to return to China, I must leave now!" ”
Lin Huiyin met Xu Zhimo in Kangqiao in 1921. Xu Zhimo admired her extremely, believing that Lin Huiyin was the soul mate he had been looking for, even if the moth put out the fire, he would not hesitate. He once commented on his feelings for Lin Huiyin: "I will visit my only soul mate in the vast sea of people, and I am fortunate to have it; no, I am destined." So much for. ”
Zhang Youyi knew that Lin Huiyin was the direct cause of Xu Zhimo's urgent divorce from herself, but she also knew that if there was no Lin Huiyin, there would be other people.
In the end, Zhang Youyi still signed the divorce agreement. This was the first Western-style civilized divorce case in China's modern history, and Zhang Youyi was forced to become the first woman in Modern Chinese history to divorce civilization.
After Zhang Youyi signed it, Xu Zhimo's hanging heart could be put down. At this point, satisfied, he proposed to meet his young son Peter.
Xu Zhimo followed Zhang Youyi to the hospital, visiting his young son for the first and only time. Seeing that Peter was unusually calm when he saw him, Xu Zhimo casually asked, "Why doesn't Peter like to cry?" "Maybe he knows it's no use crying!" Zhang Youyi answered calmly.
For a moment, she didn't know if she was talking about Peter or herself.
In this answer, Xu Zhimo was indifferent! Zhang Youyi looked at Xu Zhimo with a loving face and looked at Peter like a loving father, but he never asked Zhang Youyi what to raise children and how Peter should live.
After the divorce, Zhang Youyi, with the help of her second brother Zhang Junjie, enrolled in Pestalozzi College to study early childhood education. At that time, Zhang Youyi knew that she had no one to rely on, and if she wanted to live, she could only grit her teeth and resist!
So Zhang Youyi took care of Peter while reading, and took care of her studies and family. But unfortunately it did not spare the poor woman. In 1925, the youngest son, Peter, died of peritonitis.
After the loss of her beloved son, Zhang Youyi was heartbroken and discouraged, and she decided to return to China.
Three: Nirvana Phoenix, reborn from the fire
In 1926, Zhang Youyi, who was in pain, was taken back to Shanghai, China by his eighth brother Zhang Yujiu. After returning to China, Zhang Youyi first founded the famous Yunsheng Company. Yunsheng Company was the first professional women's fashion company in China, and shanghai women at that time were proud to wear the clothes of Yunsheng Company.
Perhaps in Zhang Youyi's view, since Xu Zhimo thinks that she is a "dirt bun", then she must prove to him that after leaving Xu Zhimo, she can also stand in the center of the trend of the new era.
Not only that, in 1927, Zhang Youyi also joined the Shanghai Women's Savings Bank and served as a vice president. During her time in the bank, she put the office in the business hall, which greatly improved the office efficiency of employees, thus gaining a good reputation.
At that time, Zhang Youyi and Xu Zhimo had been divorced for 5 years, during which she continued to learn and break through, and realized the rebirth of the phoenix like a phoenix in Nirvana!
But at that time, Xu Zhimo was still mercurial, lingering between flowers and plants and it was difficult to extricate himself! One day in 1931, Xu Zhimo had an argument with his then-wife, Lu Xiaoman, and when he was unhappy, he decided to fly north from Nanjing to attend Lin Huiyin's lecture. However, due to the sudden arrival of the accident, due to the air crash caused by the air crash, Xu Zhimo was also killed on the spot.
After Xu Zhimo's death, Lu Xiaoman, as his legal wife, was unable to handle the aftermath for her husband, and in the end, Zhang Youyi single-handedly handled it.
After Xu Zhimo's death, his and Zhang Youyi's enmity in this life can also be regarded as pulling down the curtain.
Xu Zhimo pursued romantic ideal love all his life, leaving Zhang Youyi but working love ran into walls everywhere, he did not marry his spiritual partner Lin Huiyin, and after remarriage, he also had to run around to support Lu Xiaoman, who smoked opium and lived a luxurious life.
And Zhang Youyi, who left Xu Zhimo, not only seemed to have a life like hanging, but also did her best to be kind to the Xu family.
On the one hand, after returning to China, she continued to honor her in-laws as Xu Jiayi's daughter and raised her son Xu Jikai wholeheartedly; on the other hand, she could be independent and become a prominent figure in the business and banking circles.
Zhang Youyi once said to her niece Zhang Bangmei that she was grateful to Xu Zhimo for divorcing her, and if it were not for the divorce, she might not have been able to find herself. Divorce is Zhang Youyi's transformation into her true self.
Four: Enjoy your old age and say goodbye to the world
In 1953, Zhang Youyi, who had been single for 30 years, met Su Jizhi, a Chinese medicine doctor, and the two had a relationship with each other.
However, when Su Jizhi proposed to Zhang Youyi, this bold woman in the mall actually hesitated! That night, she wrote three letters, which were sent to her second brother Zhang Junli, the fourth brother Zhang Jiazhang and her son Xu Jikai.
The fourth brother, Zhang Jiaxuan, may have been because of xu Zhimo and his sister, who he had matched, so his sister did not have a good person in the end, so he felt guilty and did not participate in the matter again.
The second brother, Zhang Junli, wrote back: "Sister Huiren, I hope to self-determination." ”
Although he did not have any suggestions on the surface, just a few words showed his trust and support for Zhang Youyi, as long as his sister had a decision, he would fully support it.
The reply of the son Xu Jikai gave Zhang Youyi great touch and confidence, he said in the letter: The mother has raised herself as an adult with a lifetime of hard work, as a mother has paid enough, and now it is very good that someone can accompany the mother, if the mother finds a good person, she will definitely take him as her own biological father to support.
At this point, Zhang Youyi put aside her worries and agreed to Su Jizhi's marriage proposal! Perhaps knowing Zhang Youyi's previous 50 years of ups and downs, Su Jizhi said to Zhang Youyi at the wedding:
"I didn't participate in your first 50 years of life, and I'll make up for it all."
We always have to believe that in this life there will always be a person who will love you unconditionally, and Zhang Youyi has finally waited for "him".
After remarriage, Zhang Youyi was also very happy, and her children and grandchildren were full of children and grandchildren, around her. When I have free time, I go to learn German and learn sewing. For Zhang Youyi, she had the best old age.
In 1972, Su Jizhi unfortunately died of illness, and before he died, he had been holding Zhang Youyi's hand and telling her: "Promised you, we will be together in the next life, and I will never regret it." ”
After Su Jizhi's death, Zhang Youyi was taken to the United States by her children and spent her last happy time with the care of her children.
In 1988, Zhang Youyi passed away peacefully and bid farewell to the world at the age of 88.
After his death, Zhang Youyi's tombstone was engraved with only four words - "Su Zhang Youyi".
Later generations believe that Zhang Youyi named Su in his name in order to punch Xu Zhimo in the face fiercely. But in fact, it is not, the reason for doing so may be that Zhang Youyi is telling everyone that she has walked out of the pain brought to her by Xu Zhimo and found her true lover.
Zhang Youyi's life is undoubtedly bumpy, when she was young, she was ruthlessly abandoned by her husband, and her young son died in a foreign country, it can be said that her life fell to the bottom. But she was not defeated, the wind and rain rainbow, the sonorous rose, she finally created the glory of her life with her disobedience.
In her later years, someone asked her if she loved Xu Zhimo, and she replied:
"I'm confused about this because everyone tells me that I've done so much for Xu Zhimo and I must have loved him. But I couldn't tell you what love was, and I'd never said 'I love you' to anyone in my life. If taking care of Xu Zhimo and his family is called love, then I probably love him! Maybe of the few people he's met in his life, I love him the most. "
There was no anger or complaint in her words, but instead she said that she was at peace and calm. Her definition of love is admirable, and Zhang Youyi has walked very slowly in her life, but she has walked out of her own wonderful.