"Teacher, I often can't control my emotions and yell at my children, and afterwards I regret it very much, but the next time I encounter the same situation, I will still repeat the past behavior, I think I am too much of a failure to be a mother." 」
Family
"Teacher, I used to be more strict with my children, more critical to be precise. The child is now not kissing me, refusing to communicate with me, and I want to communicate with him now and I don't know where to start? ”
"Teacher, I am particularly impatient with the child, as soon as I see the child grinding and rubbing my violent temper will come up, I will uncontrollably want to teach him, but seeing the child look at me from the original fear to the current hatred, I am very desperate, the family also said that the child is now like this because I am too strong." I regret it now, but I don't know how to achieve emotional stability. ”
……
Family
Whenever I see mothers leaving such self-blame, chagrin, helplessness and even desperate messages, I will feel that these mothers are distressed and especially want to give these mothers a hug.
These mothers are not wrong in their intentions, they want to be a good mother, and they want to make their children better through their own way. It's just that these mothers forget to ask for help when they are in anxiety, confusion, helplessness and pain, and they are not seen by friends and family, and they are alone in trouble.
These mothers often do not learn how to express their emotions and how to communicate with their children when they are with their parents.
Family
How can a good mom get along better with "bad emotions"?
Mood Detection Exercises:
About anger (fear, disappointment...) ）
An angry event that impressed you as a child?
What is your parent's reaction when you express your anger?
What kind of performance does your mother behave when she is angry?
What kind of behavior does your father behave when he is angry?
What are you going to get angry about now?
What is the reason for getting angry?
What do you do when you're angry?
Family
About happiness (excitement, contentment...) ）
A happy event that impressed you as a child?
What is your parent's reaction when you express your happiness?
What kind of performance does your mother behave when she is happy?
What kind of performance does your father behave when he is happy?
What makes you happy now?
What do you do when you're happy?
Family
Discover the real needs behind the "bad emotions".
1. Describe the real thing
2. Express your emotions
3. Say that there is a ##情绪的原因
4) Replace "you must" with "I hope..."
Family
"When my mother got a call from the teacher saying you didn't finish your homework, I was angry. Because I am worried that if you don't study seriously now, it will affect your academic performance, and if you don't have good grades, you may not be able to go to the ideal school in the future, and if you can't read the ideal school, you may not have a good job in the future. I would even worry that your failure to complete your homework will affect your relationship with the teacher... When my mother was in school, I once saw some classmates pay some price because they were not serious, so I would be more sensitive to this matter, and I hope that we can think of a way together on the homework problem..."
Family
"Mom is very anxious when she sees you slowly sorting out your school supplies. Because your mother will worry about not supervising when she sees you doing things slowly, you will lose everything and affect your studies... Sometimes I even feel that you are expressing your dissatisfaction to your mother... I hope that after writing your homework in the future, you will be able to sort out the school supplies in time.
Family
Educational Reminder:
1, a good mother needs to love herself first and accept her emotions.
2, a good mother encounters difficulties to learn to ask for help.
3, good mothers encounter "bad emotions" first stop and hug their injured selves.
4. Have the courage to express their worries to their children and face difficulties with their most authentic self.)
(Image from the Internet)