Master's and Doctoral Psychology Writer: Zhang Xin
Parents who have piano children at home should know the bitterness of the practice process and the chicken flying dog jump. My daughter's piano has been up to it for 3 years, and she is now in the 3rd grade, and in the late stages of the kindergarten class, we began to contact the piano and embarked on a meaningful and difficult way to practice the piano.
In fact, when I was a child, I also had two years of piano foundation, as a post-80s who had no mines at home, I thanked my mother for giving me the opportunity to learn piano in that era, and in retrospect, my mother was also a very fashionable mother.
At first, I learned the electronic keyboard, and my electronic organ teacher said that my finger conditions were very good for learning piano, so when I was in the sixth grade, my mother bought me my first piano. I still remember the excitement I was when I saw the piano, when not all children had access to the piano, so I was ambitious.
My dream is to play a song called "Dedicated to Alice" to my parents, even though the song is only level five. But my dream has not come true until now, but every now and then I will play some simple and interesting songs by myself. Maybe it's because I grew up with a piano at home, and my daughter has been listening to it since she was a child, and although this kind of ear-catching is limited to songs of the level of "One Twinkle and One Sparkle", my daughter will climb on my piano stool and press the keys with her fingers when she is very young.
When she was in kindergarten, she said she wanted to learn piano. To be honest, at the beginning I was not very supportive, the experience of growing up let me know what it takes to persevere in the piano, there is not enough perseverance, patience is difficult to stick to, because the basic learning is really boring.
Reading scores, visually playing, and playing are not good music as soon as you get started, but start with some simple foundations. So when my daughter wanted to learn, I told her, "It's not easy to learn piano, it may be very boring at first, but once you stick to it, you will play very beautiful music, can you stick to it?" ”
My daughter seemed to understand, but I knew she didn't understand it very well. Later, at her strong request, we went to our first piano lesson.
The first session was only half an hour, the little guy successfully completed all the content of the first lesson, on the way back I asked her if she was willing to learn, she said happily that she did. After that, we had a very difficult time like almost every family of piano children.
We all think that the piano is such an elegant instrument, when played, can cultivate our musical literacy with motherly kindness and filial piety, but most of the time it is really full of chicken feathers, chickens flying and dogs jumping.
For a while, I told myself that I was a counselor, I wanted to control my emotions, this was her choice, and I was good to be with her.
However, when the child loses his temper every day because he plays the wrong sound, I feel that I, who has always been good-tempered, wanders on the verge of emotional collapse every day, and the two of us torture each other in anger and frustration.
Slowly, we used some of the dopamine pleasure methods I shared before to learn the piano, adjusted her mood, and my emotions, and in this 1 and a half years or so of running-in, we found the most suitable path for ourselves.
In the communication with my daughter, I found that the mood of my daughter learning to play the piano came from the frustration caused by the wrong tone during the playing process, and we began to use positive pauses and hugs to accommodate her emotions at that time, and then constantly worked hard between falling down and standing up.
We have also thought about giving up, but we all know that there will be countless difficulties on the way up the mountain, and if we want to see the scenery above, then we have to work hard. That's how it has persisted until now.
The daughter now insists on an hour of piano practice every day, one day in a week can be free to rest and adjust, this day she can choose by herself, now playing the piano has no big crying.
The little piano boy influenced my husband, in fact, he has always loved the piano, but he did not have the opportunity to learn it from an early age. During this time, he also began to want to play. At first I asked my daughter to teach her, but she said she didn't have time and she was going to hang out. But in fact, I would like to influence her and let her experience the sense of value that can be taught to others through her own efforts. So I took the copy of "Cherny 849" and began to teach, and anyone who has played the piano knows that this book is not entry-level, but a basic exercise played by people with a certain piano foundation.
When my daughter was at home, I began to teach my husband to play the piano, and the husband who was taught by me sat stupidly on the piano bench and asked, "Did you learn so complicated at the beginning?" Impossible. ”
I said, "Are you an adult, yes?" ”
The daughter couldn't listen to it anymore and told me: "Forget mom, or I teach dad, you are too impatient, and which one of them played 849 in the first place?" ”
I said, "Well, you teach dad, I really don't know how to teach it." ”
From this day on, I saw my daughter's unprecedented interest in piano learning.
In order to teach my husband, she designed her own course, starting with one lesson per week, one half an hour, and she offered to charge a lesson fee to earn money, although a lesson is only 5 yuan, but the child suddenly found that the corresponding remuneration earned through his own efforts was a very happy thing.
Every day she assigned homework to her father, urged him to practice the piano, since then our family has another big piano boy who learns to play the piano, the daughter's self-confidence is more and more sufficient, and found her own sense of value in learning the piano, watching their father and daughter sit happily on the piano bench to exchange piano skills, I believe that the daughter slowly understands that when she shows her own value through her own efforts, that joy is irreplaceable by any material life.
The children's voice is: "We have been recognized by adults, believe that we can do a good job, we will be willing to do it, if you always think we do not do well, then I might as well not do it, anyway, you also think I did not do well." 」 "This is what my daughter told me, we need to listen to our children's voices and understand each other in order to grow up with our children."
Here is Yu Wei Psychology, I am the psychological counselor Zhang Xin.
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