Lines 丨 Happy comedian "I am not a card god"

The following [full version of the lines] is compiled from Oriental Satellite TV's "Happy Comedians"

Finishing: Public number [Small Line Jun]

Li Mingyu: Thank you, I am very happy to be able to gather with you.

Zhao Yingxin: That's right.

Li Mingyu: First of all, let me introduce my partner.

Zhao Yingxin: Tell me about me.

Li Mingyu: Zhao Yingxin, a cross-talk actor from Beijing.

Zhao Yingxin: It's me.

Li Mingyu: Friends in Shanghai may not know much about him.

Zhao Yingxin: Possibly.

Li Mingyu: But it doesn't matter, the audience in Beijing doesn't know who he is.

Zhao Yingxin: That is, no one knows me anywhere.

Li Mingyu: No, although I don't know you, you are better than me.

Zhao Yingxin: I have something strong.

Li Mingyu: The consumption grade is stronger than mine.

Zhao Yingxin: Yes.

Li Mingyu: You see, take me.

Zhao Yingxin: Ah.

Li Mingyu: If I want to spend ten thousand yuan to buy a bag, then I have to grit my teeth and take the credit card to brush it, people Zhao Yingxin, when I get to the first stop in Shanghai, the first thing people eat is raw frying.

Zhao Yingxin: That's right.

Li Mingyu: This raw fried people eat, people have no loans and no mortgages, a hand to pay, arrogant.

Zhao Yingxin: I'll just eat early and don't take out a loan.

Li Mingyu: After I swiped my card and bought the bag, didn't I have to pay back the money?

Zhao Yingxin: Then don't buy it, is it good?

Li Mingyu: Did I buy that bag for myself?

Zhao Yingxin: I asked, this is for my girlfriend.

Li Mingyu: No, no, mainly, her husband doesn't buy it for her, guys, this matter.

Zhao Yingxin: This is not right, you buy a bag for someone else's daughter-in-law.

Li Mingyu: Look at what he said, can you count other people in this relationship between us?

Zhao Yingxin: That doesn't count.

Li Mingyu: That's it.

Zhao Yingxin: My daughter-in-law.

Li Mingyu: Hey, your daughter-in-law's bag is not particularly beautiful.

Zhao Yingxin: Then you don't need to buy it.

Li Mingyu: Last year, on the wedding anniversary of the two of you, we Minglehui, you represented Minglehui and we went to perform in other places, and I swiped my card in your name to send a bag to your daughter-in-law.

Zhao Yingxin: So, you are helping me.

Li Mingyu: I have helped too many things, just take Teacher Guo Degang.

Zhao Yingxin: Hmm.

Li Mingyu: Teacher Guo Degang recently in Shanghai, people have bought a new big mansion, with money on hand, and they have come to me.

Zhao Yingxin: The money to buy a house is also the card you swiped.

Li Mingyu: No, buying a house is Teacher Guo's own money, and this house is not a transfer.

Zhao Yingxin: Then this handling fee is also a lot of money.

Li Mingyu: Do you have to copy your ID card when you transfer your home?

Zhao Yingxin: Ah.

Li Mingyu: Hey, the two dollars of the copy ID card I swiped.

Zhao Yingxin: Oh, you see, these two dollars make you spend the most.

Li Mingyu: I am a person, we don't care about spending money, just this year, I just swiped my card for more than 100,000.

Zhao Yingxin: Then how many times do you have to brush it?

Li Mingyu: Let's just say so.

Zhao Yingxin: Hmm.

Li Mingyu: I swipe my cards more often than you brush your teeth.

Zhao Yingxin: Do you mean me, then I will ask you.

Li Mingyu: Hmm.

Zhao Yingxin: How much money do you earn this month?

Li Mingyu: You ask before and after tax.

Zhao Yingxin: After tax.

Li Mingyu: 2200 (Yuan).

Zhao Yingxin: 2200 (yuan) can be used to pay taxes, you earn such a little money, brush out hundreds of thousands of dollars, what do you take back?

Li Mingyu: Ask your friends for help, find a few good friends in the circle, enough brothers, I will get together.

Zhao Yingxin: Who are they?

Li Mingyu: Please come to burn the cake.

Zhao Yingxin: Ah.

Li Mingyu: Please come the white pigeon, Sun Jianhong.

Zhao Yingxin: You guys have a good relationship.

Li Mingyu: Bring them together, and I say to you, you are all the best friends in my circle.

Zhao Yingxin: Yes.

Li Mingyu: Li Mingyu recently encountered an accident, I owe the bank more than 100,000 yuan, I can't pay it now, if you don't help me, Li Mingyu will "die" a road.

Zhao Yingxin: Ouch.

Li Mingyu: There were three text messages on my phone.

Zhao Yingxin: What?

Li Mingyu: I looked, burnt cake, white pigeon, Sun Jianhong, one person transferred fifty thousand yuan to someone, the text message said, Mr. Li Mingyu, your credit card has been paid off, this brother gave me back the money.

Zhao Yingxin: How can people really see "death" and not save it?

Li Mingyu: Friends, this is called the cold to know the pine cypress, suffering to see the truth, through this matter, I know my mistakes, we have to do what we can, can not blindly compare, friends helped me through the crisis of the credit card, helped me two, not only helped me pay off the arrears, and I have more and more balance, the reputation of this card is getting better and better, just rush this credit card is getting better and better, you guess my credit card.

Zhao Yingxin: No more.

Li Mingyu: I made another one.

Zhao Yingxin: Go to yours.

(End)

Finishing: Public number [Small Line Jun]