Wen | Wen'er
"Since having the second eldest, now I am not used to seeing the boss every day, nor is it pleasing to the eye, he is slightly disobedient, I want to scold him, and now the boss is afraid of seeing me, I also know that this is not right, but I can't control myself, is there something wrong with my psychology?"
After listening to my friend's words, my heart was also full of mixed feelings. Friends and children are complete, in the eyes of outsiders, they are the winners in life, and they are also a great blessing. However, she showed a very different attitude towards her two children, inexplicably hurting her eldest, and she was only a child less than 4 years old.
Whether there is a psychological problem, I dare not say. But for families with two children, few parents can achieve a bowl of water flat. Especially after having the second eldest, many mothers' attitude towards the eldest has changed. Many friends of the second-born mother around them said that after having the second eldest, they would unconsciously grievance the boss, and even become annoying to the boss, but the boss was also a treasure knot that set thousands of pets. Why do second-born mothers have such a mentality?
The eldest reaches the age of dogs, and the second is the most adorable time, and the mother will inevitably have a comparison
Children are smaller and more cute, and the older they are, the more difficult it is to manage. For the mother of the second child, the newborn second is the most adorable time, although he will not say, but he feels like a little angel, watching the heart melt. Watching the children look like each day is the time when maternal love is at its most explosive. At this time, my mother was completely melted by the cuteness of the second eldest.
But the eldest is different, two years old to go to elementary school, it is really the age of dogs. Many bosses are at such an age, saying what not to listen to, everything has to do with you, all day long at home to do damage, follow behind the ass to clean up is too late.
Compared with the second eldest like an angel, such a boss is like a little devil. Mothers must have transferred their motherly love and patience to the second eldest. And there is not much patience for the boss, once there is no patience for the boss, the boss will be a little more critical and disgusted, and it can be understood that the boss is not pleasing to the eye.
Expect too much from the boss, ask too much
Many mothers have such a mentality, thinking that when they are old, the eldest should grow up at once, should become sensible and obedient, not only do not add chaos to the family, but also be their own little assistant.
But the reality is often that the second child is the time when the mother is needed the most, and the boss has become particularly clingy, fighting with the second brother all day long, and he is not as obedient and sensible as before, all kinds of naughty mischief and chaos. Because the boss did not grow up as his mother expected, many mothers were disappointed, impatient and picky about the boss.
But. Many mothers forget that their eldest is still a child. When they don't have younger siblings, they can also be willful and foolish, and be a happy little child. However, once they have younger siblings, they will be forced to grow up at once, and their parents will begin to ignore them, they are afraid, they panic, so they can only attract their parents' attention through some abnormal behavior and mischievous behavior.
In a two-child family, the psychology of the mother is the greatest harm to the child. Once you have a second child, don't neglect to snub the boss, and don't obviously have a bowl of water uneven.
[Topic discussion: After having a second child, do you have such a psychology? 】
Senior nursery teacher, psychological counselor, author of original parenting comic articles, welcome to pay attention to [Little Fart Baby], you want to know about family education, mental health, child development, fashion education, you can find the answer here!