There is an old saying in the countryside: "People are not valuable when they are old, and they drag down and annoy people." ”
This means that when people are old, not only can they not make money, but they often have three diseases and two pains, and if they have no money, they will add trouble to their children.
As a result, many old people laughed at themselves: "Old, not useful." The psychology of dependence on children or others has become stronger and stronger, and finally it has really become a "burden.".
In fact, on the road to getting old, we must learn to rely on ourselves, love ourselves, and be ourselves in order to live a dashing and confident life.
01
On the road to getting old, learn to give up dependence on others, in order to face all the problems of life on your own.
In "Zhuangzi", it tells the story of a skilled old craftsman who forged a hook belt for Sima Da.
The craftsman of the Great Sima family forging the belt of the belt is already eighty years old, and the hook made is not bad. Sima Da couldn't help but ask him for advice on what the secret was.
The old craftsman is also not modest, bluntly saying that his secret is to be undistracted, and from the age of twenty, he has spent all his energy on forging the belt of the hook.
From this story, it is not difficult to find that a person who has a career he loves, although the age will become old, but the craftsmanship will not be old, and the spiritual temperament will not be old.
Where does a person who can "grow old and strong" still need to rely on others?
Those who have long used "old age" as an excuse and excuse have really reached the point of "not being able to do anything", but they are lazy and want to rely on others.
This phenomenon is not uncommon in the workplace.
Take, for example, a unit I once stayed in. There are only twenty-six people in total, and there are ten people who apply for early retirement, and on weekdays, even if they arrange work tasks, they all "push things", if they have to do it, they are dragging things out.
The only thing they are very motivated about is to eat three meals a day and wait in the cafeteria early for dinner.
The reason why they have no fear is because they have a staff, and the small leaders of the department once have no choice but to take them.
Is this kind of person really worthy of envy? In a way, it is. But until one day, one of them was refused because he was used to being arrogant, and even invited himself to the canteen master to help for free. Those who had envied them were ashamed of them.
Iron camps, flowing soldiers. No matter how high the position was, stepping down is nothing. Those who still blindly carry the shelf are not only not respected by their colleagues, but also set an extremely bad example for future generations.
Because, the situation of "snubbing the door and the sparse carriage" will soon come, and a person who is accustomed to directing and relying on others can enjoy only a few prosperity, and only those who rely on themselves, keep up with the rhythm of the times, and constantly enrich and improve themselves can make them continue to prosper.
02
On the road to getting old, learn to love yourself and give up the liking of others in order to accept yourself.
There is a popular Internet song "Broken Silver And Two", which begins with a song that sings: "This human world is two vast, put the sharp word in the center." "In order to crush the silver, in order to have soup for three meals, everyone has to put down their faces, seek survival, and seek development."
Those who hurry to hurry have their own figures; those leaders who promise to please them have their own figures; those who stay up late and work tirelessly still have their own figures. We lower ourselves to dust so that we can please all the people around us.
Use impeccable performance to please the leader; use the good temper that is intolerable to please the snobbish colleagues; use thoughtful and generous people to please the people who meet for the first time.
Finally, we also lived to be people wearing masks. Even when I return home, I can't unload the exhaustion of my heart.
When life becomes a "torment", we have long forgotten why we started, and we can no longer experience happiness and sweetness.
Is such a life really what you want?
Li Bai, a poet of the Sheng Tang Dynasty, wrote a poem "Drinking with the Youren in the Mountains": "The two of them drank the mountain flowers, cup after cup, I was drunk and went to sleep, and the Ming Dynasty intended to hold the piano." ”
Reading this poem, it is not difficult for us to find out: who the ghost is, I don't know; why I am drunk, I don't know; whether you will come again tomorrow, I don't know; what kind of track fuqin will be, I still don't know.
The only thing we can perceive is that the poet is really relaxed and cozy. "I'm drunk and want to sleep, you go, tomorrow I'll come back with the piano."
There is no politeness, no flattery, everything "arbitrary", is this not what modern people can hope for?
Singer Zhang Guorong once said: "I am what I am, a different color of fireworks." "A person who dares to face himself will not care about the different eyes of others, and will not live in the judgment of others."
When one begins to give up one's favor with others, one opens a door to one's own acceptance. When a person begins to truly accept himself, life enters a new world.
03
On the road to getting old, learn to be yourself, close the door of the heart, and stay away from rotten people and bad things, and you will be free.
Host Tsai Kangyong wrote in an article: "You have to close your heart. ”
The reason is simple: "If the door is opened casually, can't anything messy run in?" Don't forget that sometimes you have to choose to close the door of your heart, which is an ability, to put it bluntly, the ability to be alone with yourself. ”
Yes, the older people get, the more they must know how to refuse.
In the workplace, don't blindly be a "good old man" who is obedient, so many years of hard work, in order to gain a firm foothold, but also eager for promotion and salary increase. But if the effort can not be exchanged for the due return, the effort is not seen, it is better to just do your part.
In interpersonal communication, for those who look down on themselves in their hearts, they do not have to take the initiative to show kindness, as if they did not see, it is a good response.
For those who look down on those who look down on themselves in their hearts, they do not have to deliberately remain friendly and silently stay away, which is the greatest respect for themselves.
As for those trivial things, tangled things, ambiguous things, there is no need to hang on to the heart all the time, and sometimes, waiting to deal with it, may have become a big thing and a small thing.
Use the time and energy saved to get along with yourself, you can "raise a glass to invite the bright moon, to the shadow into three people", you can open the book, talk to the sages and sages; you can serve the flowers and plants, enjoy every flower and flower; you can be idle in a daze, listen to an old song, watch a movie...
When we invite ourselves into our hearts, we will find that there are so many beautiful things in this life that are worth wasting our time; there are so many challenges that are worth doing our best to experience once, and when we obey our own wishes again and again, we will find that it is good to be ourselves.
04
Conclusion:
Flowers have no reopening days, and people have no hundred days of red.
As we get older, we stop demanding ourselves to be the focus of the crowd. The time we exist in the world is really not much. Grasping each day well is the best arrangement for the rest of your life.
Author: Like the wind is light as a cloud.
Your happiness, my blessings.
Images are from the web.