#修心修行
In the vast world, everyone is integrated into it, and has its own interpersonal relationships. Ma Weidu once said: "Relatives must be born, people must be familiar, and acquaintances must be relatives." From relatives to acquaintances to strangers, we must deal with it properly, grasp that degree, and the heat is not enough, nor is it too much. Good interpersonal relationships must be: relatives are born in three points, people are born in three points, and acquaintances are three points in relatives.
First, relatives are born in three parts
The ancients often said: "It is a pro-three-point guest.".
Even if you are related by blood, you must maintain a certain distance, like treating guests, maintain due etiquette and respect, if there is no sense of boundaries, even if the blood is thicker than water feelings, it will go to disillusionment.
Duke Zhuang and his younger brother Duan were compatriots of the same mother, and after Duke Zhuang became the king of a country, he was also particularly fond of his younger brother, and he wanted something to give.
Shortly after Duke Zhuang ascended the throne, his younger brother Duan was impatient to ask for a fief, and at the beginning he chose the best place- Jingyi.
In the eyes of Zhuang Gong, they are all their own brothers, as long as you want me to give, will never treat you badly.
Unexpectedly, Duan was an unsatisfied person, and after having such a good place as Jingyi, he still wanted the north and west sides around him, and Zhuang Gong was also satisfied.
But even more excessively, after having the place, Duan began to repair the city walls, gather the people, repair the armor and weapons, prepare the soldiers and chariots, and want to defect and attack the Zhuanggong.
Finally, after touching Zhuang Gong's bottom line, Zhuang Gong began to consult Duan, and the relationship between the two changed from relatives to enemies.
The famous host once said: "The sense of proportion comes from people's sense of boundaries." ”
Between people, if there is no sense of boundary, there is no sense of security, you think that it is good for your relatives, but it is a reason to give your relatives and hurt you at any time.
You know, no matter how close people are, they should also respect each other and maintain a little "raw points", although family affection will not be worn out with time, whether they admit it or not, blood relations are destined to exist, but too close, it is inevitable that there will be disasters.
In real life, those relatives who have to make progress, want to want it, once they are not satisfied, they turn their faces, they bear the title of relatives, but they do things that do not talk about family affection.
Never overestimate human relationships, and never underestimate the evils of human nature.
Between families, maintain a certain sense of distance, mutual respect, life will be less smoke miasma, more human conscience.
Second, the raw person is three points of familiarity
"Water Margin" is one of the four famous works in China, and the male protagonist Song Jiang, the first time he met Wu Song, he was warm like an acquaintance.
It turned out that Song Jiang wanted to go to the toilet after he had drunk enough food in the restaurant, and when he crossed the passage, he accidentally threw a charcoal fire on Wu Song's body, and Wu Song angrily wanted to hit Song Jiang.
Song Jiang quickly apologized and reported his name to compensate Wu Song, and after learning that the other party was Song Jiang, Wu Song was shocked and said that he was also at fault. In this way, the two did not fight and did not know each other, so they sat down to drink together.
At the time of separation, Song Jiang saw that Wu Song was in tatters, and personally took 10 taels of silver to help Wu Song, you know, the 10 taels of silver at that time was equivalent to the current 100,000 yuan, which made Wu Song moved unceasingly.
Later, Wu Song followed the Song River to Liangshan, and every time he fought, Wu Song took the initiative to charge into the battlefield and made a lot of meritorious achievements.
I once saw a movie with a sentence that was particularly impressive: "I always rely on the kindness of strangers." ”
Yes, the kindness of strangers is the best tenderness in the world, sometimes you are tired from work, taking the subway, strangers take the initiative to give up their seats, sometimes you cry, a greeting from a stranger, handing a tissue, often make you moved.
Before we met and fell in love, you and I were strangers, but we were born in peace, we met in peace and water, and we compared our hearts to our hearts, and a small act would bring trust.
In this fast-paced society, whether it is a work need or a social need, we have to meet a lot of new faces every day.
Two people don't know each other, but your active greeting can break the atmosphere of silence and promote each other's relationship.
Nowadays, in today's network chat, the two are separated by mountains and across the sea, but they can talk about the world and talk about life and ideals, so as to further understand and solve each other's worries.
In the face of strangers, if you are kind and enthusiastic, your popularity will get better and better!
Third, acquaintances are three points of affinity
There is an old Chinese saying: "Distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors."
If you think about it, it is true that for those who are struggling outside, relatives are often not around, and those who are really close to your life are friends.
Song Jiang and Chao Gai grew up wearing a pair of pants, and the two have known each other since childhood.
Once, Chao Gai committed an accident and was wanted by the government, but the county order found Song Jiang and invited him to arrest the prisoner Chao Gai together, Song Jiang pretended to agree, but secretly passed the news to Chao Gai.
While pacifying the county order, Song Jiang let people serve with good wine and good meat, saying that it was good to work when they were full, and at the same time, he sent people to go non-stop, and Chao Gai's home ventilated the news.
Chao Gai was touched to see the letter sent by Song Jiang, and he also admired his loyalty, you know, at that time, the society shielded the prisoner, and the result was the same crime as the prisoner.
It is through this critical moment that not only makes Chao Gai grateful to Dade, but also lays a solid emotional foundation for Song Jiang to sit on the first chair of Liangshan in the future.
Two good friends who know each other well, they must trust and take care of each other as relatives, and the small boat of friendship will become more and more stable.
Just as the so-called good relationship with acquaintances can have good relations.
To have a true friend, you must be like a relative, in the wind and rain, to help forward, no defenses, no scruples; in the ups and downs, help each other, do not ask for returns, on call!
Do not look at the status, no matter the money and power, like brothers and sisters, poor and not abandoned, rich do not stutter, like family care, no matter when and where, no matter how long the interval, feelings are unchanged!
Probably the best friendship is: "When you are happy, I will add icing on the cake; when you are frustrated, I will send charcoal in the snow."
Treat acquaintances as relatives, treat them with heart, be happy with your happiness, and grieve your sorrows, which are naturally long-lasting.
Many of people's troubles actually come from interpersonal relationships.
The best interpersonal relationship is that relatives are born in three points, rely on each other and have distance, and people who are three points familiar with each other and treat them kindly will benefit endlessly, and acquaintances will benefit from three points of affinity, snuggle with each other, and help each other.
For the rest of your life, may you cherish the fate of this life, tolerate your relatives, trust your acquaintances, and treat your living people kindly.