01
As the saying goes: "Bear with the wind and waves for a while, take a step back from the sea and the sky." ”
From the traditional concept, as long as we know how to be patient and give in, we will definitely exchange the understanding of others and have the result of the sea and the sky. Reality, is this really the case?
The most idealized state is that the tolerance is to the extreme, and others also find out in conscience. However, if you want others to find out in their conscience, it is simply impossible to do.
Just think, who would give up their own interests and understand your difficulties?
As long as there is humanity in this world, then everyone will fight with each other, calculate each other, and finally die endlessly, so that everyone will live unhappily.
Especially honest people, they always feel that being kind must have good rewards, and always think that their concessions can be exchanged for the compromise of others. As everyone knows, the more you give in, the more others step on you.
To be a person, you can be appropriate and honest, but you must not be weak. The result of weakness can only be bullied, calculated, and suppressed, and there will be no good end at all.
In today's extremely complex society, no matter how kind honest people are, they should not show weakness to these people, and they will be treated as cowards.
02
No matter how kind you are, you can't show weakness to people who are "inching forward".
We all feel that you give way, I also give a step, both sides compromise together, and finally win-win, in exchange for better results.
As everyone knows, this is just our fantasy. The more we give in, the more others gain. Our compromises, in the eyes of others, can only be weak and deceitful.
It is not that there is no win-win situation in this world, but that few people can achieve a win-win situation. In the jianghu, you lose and I win, you die and I live, zero-sum game, that is the norm.
Just like in the workplace, do you dare to relax? Can't. Because you are afraid that your colleagues will target you, you are also afraid that your boss will deceive you, and you are even more afraid that you will be caught by others and will not be able to turn over.
Honest people are even more miserable, not only helping others carry the black pot, but also thankless, like sheep, being bullied by others, and not daring to squeak. This is not that good people have good rewards, but that people are good and are deceived, and horses are ridden.
In the face of other people's gains, we do not need to be too tolerant, timely refusal, timely rebuttal, timely counterattack, that can be. No one dares to bully tough people, and others bully them, just cowards.
03
No matter how kind you are, you can't show weakness to people who are "deliberately provoking".
A famous person has said that people do not offend me, I do not offend. If anyone offends me, I will sin against them.
If others do not infringe on us, then we do not infringe on others. If others come to us and dare to deliberately provoke, then we cannot be polite to them.
Politeness should always be left to the right people, to those who love us, to those who respect us, and not to those who feed the white-eyed wolves who are not familiar.
For example, if your colleague dares to ride on your head, it is bullying that you dare not "resist" him, so how will you choose?
Is it to choose to admit your fate, show weakness in front of others, and do not want to cause too much trouble, or choose to be cruel, shake your teeth, explain your bottom line to the other party, and make it clear that you are not afraid of things, nor are you afraid of fighting?
I think it would be better to choose the latter. The result of concessions is never to reduce trouble, but to add more trouble for no reason. Only by stopping the loss in time and letting others stop the pace of bullying in time will the trouble continue to decrease.
It should still be said that when it comes to their own interests, no matter how kind they are, they cannot bow their heads. This is the self-esteem that a person should have.
04
No matter how kind you are, you will not please your relatives who are "not good to others".
For relatives, people have such an idea - to please and greet, do not dare to easily offend.
Is this practice really necessary? Not necessarily. Just because you don't sin against others doesn't mean that others don't sin against you. Using your own hot face to stick to someone else's cold ass is the most stupid act.
Your warm heart and true feelings should not be pinned on relatives who do not see you well and look down on you.
For relatives, just keep these two attitudes. If both parties have real feelings and know how to respect each other, it is still okay to maintain a close attitude. On the other hand, if neither side has real feelings, I respect you, but you don't respect me, then you may as well shoot and scatter.
The attitude of one shot and two scatters is not for everyone. It is because people are bound by the original concept of family affection and morality, so they will be bullied and cannot fight back at all.
Only by getting rid of the old ideas and knowing how to turn the other cheek can we have good fruit to eat.
05
No matter how kind you are, you must remember those who "fell into the well".
Human beings always have such a flaw - once the wound is healed, they forget the scar.
I have seen such people, after being bullied by others, although angry, but still did not get a lesson. When the anger subsides, these people will still bow to each other and forget the harm that others have done to them.
Is this behavior really correct?
As the saying goes, those who are spineless and forget their pain at will are really not worthy of respect.
No matter how honest you are, you can't forget the pain. Whoever has bullied us and who has fallen for us, we must not forget, but we must always remember it in our hearts.
"Smiling and giving vengeance" treats those who are like enemies and confidants, just like Zhuge Liang and Sima Yi. And for those who bully the soft and fear the hard, and fall into the well, then we don't need to "laugh and hate", we should be cruel.
Being tough enough is cowardice. More fierceness and King Kong wrist, that is the posture that a person should have.
Wen/Shushan has deer