Knowing the weakness

Look for ant holes in the mountains in the afternoon. It was strange that the weather was so hot that the ants did not come out. The ants in the north are too lazy, and half of the spring has passed, and they still hide in the nest and sleep. I originally wanted to talk to the ants, but it seems that the time is not ripe. The real reason is that I wrote an article about insects, which I intend to submit to the Forest newspaper for the ant editor to see first. If that doesn't work, just send it out.

Knowing the weakness

One day, representatives of the insect world in the great forest held a large event to identify a recognized happiest member of the insect life (due to the influence of various talent shows on the TV station, insects also began to play this gimmick), and loaded it into the encyclopedia of insect records.

The name of the event is "Very Insect", which is a good thing in history, so the insects are enthusiastically participating. However, at the beginning of the event, everyone found that this seemingly easy topic was actually quite difficult. Because the understanding of happiness is inherently different, each with its own reasoning (this is no different from our human world). And the worms all think that their lives are the happiest, and no one can convince anyone. There were a lot of bugs that introduced themselves, but they were quickly eliminated.

Take ants, for example. The slogan of ant's candidacy is both simple and sensational: "Is there anything happier than labor?" "Obviously, he is presenting himself as a model worker in the insect world. However, most insects are dismissive of this, and the lifestyle of running around all day for a bite of food does not resonate at this stage. "No taste", which is a common reflection of insects. Alas, values have changed.

Next up is spiders. A large group of spiders held a placard and swayed from side to side, which read: "Nanyang Zhuge Liang, sit firmly in the Chinese military tent." Weave out the sky net, and catch the flying general. "Living like Zhuge Liang, who can still come up with such a wise and poetic metaphor?" However, after the discussion of the expert group (composed of authoritative insects such as the big scarab beetle, the green-headed fly, and the big-bellied grasshopper), it was pointed out: First, what kind of insect Zhuge Liang is, it is still inconclusive. Therefore, the competition slogan of spiders is easy to cause disputes, which is not conducive to the stability and unity of the insect world; second and most importantly, spiders are arthropods and do not belong to the insect world at all, so they are not eligible to participate. At this moment, the spiders spit silk and left, planning to go and climb relatives with crabs. However, there are a few aggressive red spiders who plan to seek a lawyer to fight a lawsuit and vow to restore the bug status, which is a later story.

A large praying mantis rushed up to the draft, scaring the judges straight back. The mantis swung a large knife, and on the big knife were written two words: "Cool Clan". Some judges timidly asked what this meant, and the praying mantis said that it was still necessary to ask, who in the insect world has me cool? Triangle face, triangle eye, catching insects only in an instant, the insect world is all over, cool, is my way of life. The key is that the mantis also has tattoos on its large knife, which shows that it is the big brother of the insect world. The judges did not dare to speak, and the vast number of insects were unwilling, is this not the same as the United States fighting Iraq? Bullying, fighting, killing, and killing is also called happiness? Everyone was booing, and the praying mantis had to step down, and did not forget to dance a knife flower before stepping down.

Such self-recommendation is obviously not OK, too delayed time, the key is the lack of legal basis. And in the process, various black-box operations have begun to appear. For example, some insects brought fresh to the judges, the scarab beetle, which was still rare; immediately other insects presented the green-headed flies with highly decaying stinky fish. Careful insect reporters found that the big-bellied grasshopper was chewing on the heart of the delicious cabbage. And according to the actual income level of the grasshopper, it simply cannot afford to eat this kind of anti-seasonal delicacy, which is something that the earth worms know.

What to do? The bugs had no idea and had to consult the respected owl. The idea of choosing the happiest of the different species of insects, the owl says, is itself wrong because there is no uniform standard. All the insects suddenly realized that this was the case. The owl also said that in fact, it is better to show off their own hands, show their unique skills, and reflect the spirit of entertainment. This time it was the prostration worm that frequently nodded in approval. Finally, the owl said in a serious tone that the draft is risky, and it is necessary to be cautious and remember to play. It should be said that the old birds have their own experience and experience, and they are afraid that insects will not understand.

In any case, the worms were busy preparing for their own unique work, and the last sentence was not heard clearly. The fleas appeared first, performed the high jump extinction, drilled out from the back of the old cattle that lived in the house, and jumped more than 2 feet high in the dry land, and hated the old scalpers watching the performance to bite their teeth.

Suddenly out of the cow dung pile came out a group of cockroaches, together a group of ah, in the blink of an eye cow dung turned into a round ball, ke mantis rushed to roll the dung ball and walked away, saying that it was to prepare for the Qatar World Cup.

The farting insect's performance was even more extraordinary, turning its ass to the bullseye and slamming several loud noises, flying a yellow smoke, a large piece of dandelion was knocked down, and the onlookers were startled into a cold sweat.

The most ridiculous thing is that a suspected snail stands in the center of the stage and says that it is going to perform a difficult shelling stunt. It caused a sensation in the audience, and everyone wanted to see if the snail could still shell it. This guy was really naked and crawled out of his shell. But the dragonfly told the truth, and the dragonfly said that you are obviously a slug (slug kuoyu enclosed), where did you pick up an empty snail shell to deceive us. So all the bugs laughed, and the slugs slipped away with their big snot.

In short, all the insects took turns to show their skills, and they had enough desire to perform. The finale was the famous insect singer Zhi Yi. Wearing a sparkling ruby laurel crown, draped in a cicada wing-like light yarn or a light yarn-like cicada wing, he let go of the super heavy speaker on his abdomen and sang a "Song of Insects", with round words and a loud voice, which attracted thunderous applause. Immediately, many ladybugs came to find the signature of zhi, and the signature pen of zhizhi was ready-made, that is, the straw in the mouth. Knowing that he wrote his name directly on the back of the ladybug flower, he was busy when the frustrated mantis sneaked over. It is said that during the insect assembly, there is a tacit law of truce. But the praying mantis, hey, the praying mantis that no one can control, the praying mantis that believes in the truth within the scope of the big knife, catches the knowledge and eats it as a snack. Later, many insects sighed and said that the weakness of knowing was that they cared too much about their false name.

Written on April 21, 2022 under a large locust tree

Postscript: The editorial board of The Forest newspaper replied to me, saying that the article was generally OK, but there were some details worth further discussion. I said yes, if it can be published, how to calculate the manuscript fee. The editorial board said that the normal standard is to give a small mouthful of honey every thousand words, serious locust nectar, "flower blossom" brand, sponsored by the bee company. I think it is worth it, and then work hard, and strive to mix a career editor in the "Forest Newspaper", and life is guaranteed.