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Someone once said: Zhang Ailing has been a mysterious woman all her life.
She wrote novels at the age of 7, published her works in magazines at the age of 12, and became famous in the Chinese literary scene in her 20s.
She chose to go to the United States, where she could have gained fame and fortune at home, and published very few novels in the United States in the next 40 years, and she was ridiculed in the United States.
She was young and beautiful, but she was willing to marry Laiya, who was 29 years older than her, penniless, and even willing to take care of Laiya, who was paralyzed by stroke.
She wrote in a book: Life is a gorgeous robe, crawling with lice.
This sentence became a prophecy of her later life, and the disaster of "lice" accompanied her for more than 20 years.
At the time of her death, only a few dozen words were left, and these dozens of words also had a lot to do with "lice".
This enigmatic woman did not explain to the world until her death, why did she go to the United States? Why marry an old man? What does her death have to do with "lice"?
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Zhang Ailing's experience in the first half of her life in Shanghai had a huge impact on her, and perhaps this is one of the important reasons why she traveled to the United States.
Zhang Ailing's great-grandfather was Li Hongzhang, and her grandfather Zhang Peilun was also a famous courtier at the end of the Qing Dynasty, and the Qing pride of the Wenchen family was inherited by her, but her family did not have the financial resources and capital of the Qing Dynasty nobles.
After her father lost his fortune, he could only find a position as an English secretary in the railway bureau.
Zhang Ailing's mother, a representative of the new type of women, looked down on her father very much, and left Zhang Ailing to study in Europe when she was 4 years old.
Perhaps it is because of her mother's fierce heart that the young Zhang Ailing is not welcomed by her father, which makes the pride in her bones be stimulated, and she often quarrels with her father. When her father was angry, he would keep her at home for a long time.
Zhang Ailing, who has no parental love, can only find solace in books, and at the age of 7, she wrote her first novel, about family tragedy, followed by a second book about a woman who lost love and committed suicide.
Although the writing was still very young at the time, the theme was thought-provoking and did not look like a 7-year-old child could think of.
In 1932, comments written by 12-year-old Zhang Ailing began to appear in newspapers and periodicals such as Guoguang.
In 1939, Zhang Ailing's true debut novel" "Genius Dream" was published in the magazine "West Wind".
Since then, Zhang Ailing has begun to show her talent in the literary world.
The release of novels such as "Agarwood Crumbs", "Jasmine Pieces", and "Love in the City" made Zhang Ailing a new star in the Chinese literary world and created a genre of novels that belonged to her alone.
When countless flashes focused on Zhang Ailing, what she felt was not proud and taken for granted, but overwhelmed.
Always arrogant, she felt "bound" by publicity and reporting, and the flowers and applause made her "feel suffocated".
Zhang Ailing desperately wanted to find a sense of security, and she met Hu Lancheng.
At first, Zhang Ailing could indeed feel a sense of security from this man and resolutely decided to marry him.
However, after a long time, Hu Lancheng was like a leech clinging to Zhang Ailing, and after defeating her writing fee, she turned around and fell in love with the 17-year-old nurse and directly abandoned Zhang Ailing.
The collapse of the "spiritual pillar" and the invisible pressure on her career led Zhang Ailing to subconsciously want to flee Shanghai.
In 1952, she went to Hong Kong first, but the turbulent Hong Kong at that time could not give her the sense of security she wanted, and the news media that followed her could not give her "freedom".
So she set her sights on the United States, the United States with the slogan "Freedom."
In 1955, she boarded the "President Cleveland" cruise ship to the United States, thinking that she was about to embark on her own ideal country.
Fate does not seem to care for this literary genius.
3
Zhang Ailing's life in the United States is not as easy as she dreamed of.
When she first arrived in the United States, she published her own English version of the novel, and she believed that her country could get such a big response in the literary world, and she would certainly be able to achieve success in the United States, but her first novel was "applauded or not."
No contribution means no income, Zhang Ailing's longing life is crushed by money, and in desperation, she applied for assistance in 1956.
Meanwhile, 36-year-old Zhang Ailing met LaiYa, a dramatic writer 29 years her senior.
A few months later, Zhang Ailing decided to marry him.
Many people wonder why Zhang Ailing is in full bloom and why she is willing to marry an old man?
In the eyes of the world's discussion, Zhang Ailing insists on herself and does not make a single defense in the face of gossip.
Later, from her unfinished "Little Reunion", I was able to glimpse some of the ideas at that time.
In this autobiographical novel, borrowing the mouth of the protagonist Sheng Jiuli, Zhang Ailing said: "We are so good." ”
This sentence was said by Sheng Jiuli when she evaluated her second husband, Ru Qiu, and Ru Qiu represented Lai Ya.
Zhang Ailing's friend Yan Ying once said what she thought was the reason:
Because Laiya is obsessed with Zhang Ailing, he is madly in love with this charming oriental woman.
Perhaps Zhang Ailing's reason for marrying Laiya is simple: a talented woman like her will also be touched by the most sincere love.
She also has the freedom to pursue love.
However, Raya was too old, and it didn't take long for him to live happily, and he suffered a stroke and was paralyzed.
Love does not bring bread, and the pressure of life makes Zhang Ailing realize that if she can no longer write works that American readers like, she will starve to death.
However, her work has been repeatedly rejected by publishers, and even editors have become increasingly rude when they refuse.
At this time, the United States was no longer an ideal country for her, and she no longer had the illusion of being able to make a big difference in the United States.
Devastated, Zhang Ailing had to return to China's literary scene and start writing scripts for a film company in Hong Kong.
The salary of writing the script weibo did not maintain Laiya's increasingly high medical expenses, especially after Laiya's second stroke caused complete paralysis.
But Zhang Ailing's love for Laiya is unswerving, and she has always stayed by Laiya's side and never abandoned.
In 1967, in the midst of Zhang Ailing's crying, Laiya died of illness, and this year, she was only 47 years old.
This "long-lasting love" finally ended in a dismal end.
After Laiya's death, Zhang Ailing was deeply affected, her body was losing weight day by day, in order to cheer herself up, Zhang Ailing wanted to find a job.
Later, she was invited by Professor Chen Shijun to the University of California, Berkeley to study "Dream of the Red Chamber".
However, Zhang Ailing was not satisfied with this job, and the overloaded research process and ideas were constantly denied, which made her feel "unfree" again, and two years later, she repeatedly refused Chen Shijun's retention, left the school and began to devote herself to creation.
Not welcomed by American readers, she could not make any money at all, and Zhang Ailing at this time could only rely on low insurance to live.
Saving money and making a meticulous life for money every day made the arrogant Zhang Ailing unable to accept it at all, and she aimed at The country.
In the 1970s, many of Zhang Ailing's works were published or reprinted in China, and gradually, domestic readers re-noticed this talented woman who had long faded from people's vision.
By the year 80
At the beginning of the generation, a wave of admiration for her articles was completely set off in China.
Zhang Ailing finally understood how unrealistic the "freedom" she longed for was, but her arrogance made her refuse to return to China, and she moved to Los Angeles to start seclusion.
Zhang Ailing, whose life was getting better, should have enjoyed her life, but she was forced to move around.
There is a rumor that she has moved nearly 200 times in 3 years, and the reason why she was forced to move is simple - insect plague.
What insect is so powerful that it can torture Zhang Ailing for so long?
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In the letters of Zhang Ailing and her friends, she once described in detail the "insect plague" she encountered, and there are many types of insects, fleas, cockroaches, ants and so on.
However, these bugs are usually seen, in the time of living with Laiya, such bugs must have also appeared, but Zhang Ailing did not move at that time, and now there is a slight sign, Zhang Ailing panicked, why is this?
In 1985, an article titled "Zhang Ailing is Sick" appeared in the eyes of the world, which was written by crystal, a Taiwanese writer who was in the United States at the time.
In this article, Crystal claimed that Zhang Ailing initially moved because of lice, but then Zhang Ailing felt that every time she moved, there would be traces of bugs, and the situation became more and more serious, Zhang Ailing even wore only disposable plastic clothes, and had to move once in 3 days.
Zhang Ailing's good friend Song Qi and his wife took her to the hospital for examination after hearing that she had been plagued by "bugs" for so long, but the doctor said that Zhang Ailing's skin did have traces of insect bites, but they were relatively long wounds, and the back may be psychological hallucinations.
Zhang Ailing did not believe the doctor's words at all, insisting that she had been suffering from "insect plagues".
Song Qi and his wife spent a lot of effort to help Zhang Ailing do psychological rehabilitation treatment, and slowly had an effect, Zhang Ailing will only occasionally feel that there are "bugs" in the home biting her, and will not want to change her residence frequently.
However, before Zhang Ailing died in 1995, she wrote an inexplicable letter to Song Qi and his wife.
In the letter, Zhang Ailing said that another lice bit her, causing her to have a very serious skin disease now, not only can not wear clothes, but also have to shine more than ten hours a day fluorescent lamps to feel better.
At that time, Song Qi and his wife were participating in activities in other places, and after receiving the letter, they could not go to Zhang Ailing.
When they were finished, they learned the news of their friend's death.
Because Zhang Ailing lived in simplicity, she was only discovered by the landlord a week after her death, and hurriedly told Zhang Ailing's relatives and friends.
In her suicide note, The Song Qi couple noticed a very strange place:
Zhang Ailing did not want anyone to see her body.
Mr. and Mrs. Song Qi remembered the skin disease mentioned in the letter, and they suspected that it might be a good friend who was afraid of being seen in her body.
However, after their examination, Zhang Ailing did not have any scars on her body.
"Maybe she's hysterical again."
Song Qi and his wife finally sighed and could only come to this conclusion.
On September 30, 1995, Zhang Ailing's ashes were sprinkled into the sea according to her wishes during her lifetime.
Until this moment, Zhang Ailing was still pursuing the freedom she wanted.