Editor's note: Many parents, both at home and abroad, are accustomed to viewing video games as a flood beast, fearing that playing them will cause their children to develop violent tendencies, refuse to socialize, or become contaminated with various bad habits. On the other hand, with the progress of society and the rise of public awareness, it has been found that in the process of adolescent growth, games can play a series of positive roles, which may not be easily achieved by other means. The author of this article is a mother who tells the story of how games helped her child with ADHD stay away from bullying.
My husband and I couldn't understand why our son, Luke, was being bullied. Could it be related to his ADHD, or because he is our adopted child? Or did he stand up against the bully who called his black friend a "slave"? Luke confronted racism at a very young age: a drunken white man asked Luke's 6-year-old sister to return to China, where we adopted her. At the time, Luke also bravely stepped forward to protect her.
It's more important to talk about how Luke got out of the shadows of this state than to explore why he was bullied.
In a child's world, stories like those in Looney the Bully aren't all fiction
Let him play the game
Luke started playing LEGO Star Wars when he was 5 years old, and I was against violence, but when there was an explosion in the game, my husband said it was just a small Lego fragment flying. A few years later, Luke became obsessed with Halo and I was disturbed by the realistic images of characters being shot in the game, but the music was better than I'd heard in other games.
As a professional musician, I applaud the music of Halo. Since Luke is musically gifted, I think listening to well-choreographed game music might inspire him to play. I want him to spend less time playing games and practicing the violin more – after all, there's plenty of evidence that learning music is good for the brain.
But what upset me was that whether Luke played games or practiced the violin, he was bullied almost every day. In reality, he is often beaten by classmates, who pulls his backpack off his shoulder, or who insults all kinds of nasty words... Only in the game world does Luke have a little control. We let him play games and also let him learn taekwondo.
Luke's father began taking him to pax East, where Luke met some indie developers and participated in game testing. Noverlline.net Company (formerly Tenwall Creatives) is so grateful for our enthusiasm and help that luke was even added as an Easter egg to the new game Bleak. Players can find his name on a monument: "For Luke." A young wizard who has inspired the world with bright eyes and unwavering support. This made Luke very excited.
"I was really encouraged when I learned that they carved my name into a monument that everyone can see and will never disappear." "During the beta testing of the beta version of Bleak, I learned a lot about the creative design process and the different elements of game development," Luke says. It made me think, 'This could be something I really want to do in my life'. ”
A small Easter egg specially designed for Luke in Bleak
After getting the taekwondo black belt, one day, Luke finally couldn't restrain the anger in his heart and kicked the bully who bullied him to the ground with a roundabout kick. After that incident, Luke, who was in the sixth grade of elementary school, dropped out of school and returned home, never to set foot in the school again. "If I have to compromise for the sake of schooling, I don't want to accept it." Luke said at the time. We agreed with the decision to let him study at home in the last 6 weeks of that school year. In seventh grade, we transferred Luke to a private school with zero tolerance for bullying in school, but he was not used to wearing a jacket and tie on campus, so we transferred him back to another public school. After the eighth grade, Luke attended a local high school, which was his fourth school.
"As far as social is concerned, it feels like I don't have a home... Honestly, I was lonely. "I go home every day, but I always see new classmates at school, but I don't have my own circle of friends." The environment is changing all the time. It's not easy to get rid of bullying, as long as you study in school, you will definitely meet bullying people, and you don't have a choice. After entering high school, I have grown to 1 meter 9 and am no longer bullied, but my past experiences will still have an impact on me. Everyone has their own social circles, and I'm marginalized. Other students have established a social position, but I am the representative of being bullied. ”
"Through private communication, my classmates have heard my story, and I feel like I have been put on an isolated iceberg. I wanted to start from scratch after every school transfer, but ADHD caused me huge social difficulties. In addition, because he was often bullied as a child and did not learn the social skills that most of his peers have, it is easy to be considered strange, noisy, and annoying by other classmates. ”
"In my junior year of high school, I met my friend Matt from France in biology class, and he didn't know my past of being bullied. But a few years later, when we got into college, Matt told me, 'Yeah, I used to think you were annoying and always nagging. But eventually I realized that this guy had something interesting to say. My friendship with Matt continues to this day. ”
Luke poses with the developers of Bleak
Let him play more games
Luke is muscular and responsive, excelling in taekwondo, playing the violin and playing games. A child with ADHD has a hard time concentrating, but he can play Lego Star Wars or the "Papier-mâché Mario" series for hours on end, never leaving the handle with both hands and always focusing on the TV screen.
As he got older, Luke began playing games with strangers online. This worries me. My husband and I both hoped Luke would make more friends in real life, but the bullying past was like a lingering shadow that made it difficult for him to fit into the social circle of other children. Like offline bullying, cyberbullying is devastating. I saw a 16-year-old player online say, "If you're being bullied at school, then you might want to come home and play games to escape reality." However, if you are abused more online, you may be reluctant to participate in any social activities. As far as I know, many people, including me, have encountered this situation. ”
It turns out I was overthinking, and Luke's online gaming experience was the exact opposite of what he had in real life. Luke meets friends who don't have any preconceived notions about him, and his online social circle continues to expand. My husband Case said: "In real life, you can only make friends with locals, so it's hard for Luke to get rid of the image of being bullied while he's studying... But online, you have the ability to build your own world and make friends with players from all over the world. Even if you encounter bullies online, it's easy to stay away from them and start over. ”
The use of play to treat children with ADHD has become an approved therapy abroad
When Luke played online, we found that he often laughed and sprayed garbage, and seemed to be very happy. Therefore, we support him in playing games. "In the online gaming space, I'm 100 percent convinced I'm more popular." Luke said, "Other players don't care about your looks, race or body shape, only about your game level, which is limited to competitive games." In co-op games like Worlds Adrift, Destiny 2, VR Chat, and Dungeons & Dragons, many people warmly welcome newbies and invite them to join the community. In addition to playing games, you can also chat with friends you meet online or develop offline gatherings. ”
Luke started streaming live on Twitch and playing online games with local high school boys. A couple of boys used to come to my house because Luke had a VR headset and they all wanted to try it. Luke gets excited about this and teaches his friends to play Rhythm Lightsaber.
Out of his love of games, Luke wanted to choose a university related to game design. We sent him to a summer gaming class at George Mason University, where he developed his first game and quickly developed friendships with other student developers. When Luke returned to his junior year of high school, he founded the school's first e-sports club. A year later, we sent Luke to Rochester Institute of Technology, a university with a game development major and a great orchestra. The freshman year was shortened by the sudden outbreak of the pandemic, and Luke returned home to take the remaining courses online.
In the game you can also make lifelong friends
Luke seems to be well adjusted to staying at home, he meets a lot of new friends in the game and starts doing live broadcasting again... As a mother, I used to worry that games and online dating would kill my son, but it turned out to be a big mistake. Sure, troll players are everywhere, but Luke knows how to deal with it. "The internet trolls can't do anything." "They're just a bunch of kids who like to swear, can't find anywhere else to vent their frustrations, and can only get psychological satisfaction by belittling others," Luke said. To be honest, I feel sorry for them. ”
Luke returned to college campus with social confidence — a confidence that many of his college classmates lost during the pandemic. Luke hopes to complete his studies in game design and development and then realize his lifelong dream. "Creating a game that would change the way people look at life, I realized it was a big dream, but I thought it would one day become a reality."
The game I was most afraid of ever gave Luke the most help. The game not only frees Luke from the shadow of being bullied in his childhood, but also helps him find his dream in life and try to chase it.
This article is compiled from: wired.com
原文标题：《Video Games Offered My Son a Haven From Bullying》
Originally written by Linda Katherine Cutting