Many families of children will listen to the arrangements of their parents, a sentence "I have eaten more salt than you, you do not understand anything, I and your father have arranged for you, everything is for your own good" What a nice word, dispelling the children's own life they should have is arranged by their parents' ideas and practices, they do not want their parents to worry about themselves, can only obey them to compromise them, and even affect the newly formed family.
For example, my family is such a family, my life is dominated by my parents, I grew up in a controlled life, under their oppression, I do what they do they do not support me, or I do not do a good job when they all kinds of sarcastic me, look, what to say at the beginning, do not listen to the old man, suffer losses in front of me, because I am particularly inferior, sensitive, flattering personality, afraid that my parents because of my angry illness, want to stay away, can not stay away. It was my biological parents, and it wasn't easy for them to raise me, and in the end I had to compromise with them, and in the end, because of a little thing, I didn't satisfy my parents.
"Learning to be selfish" is not necessarily a bad thing, and it does not mean that you are a cold-blooded and impersonal person who ignores your parents.
But the parents are not in control of their own lives, in many things in order to take into account the feelings of their parents, and against their own will to decide, can only heal themselves, and this is not the life of their parents, they will not feel empathy for your things, they will not feel that it is their fault, they will not feel sorry for you, they will only feel that it is for your own good.
Life is only once, grasp your own life. Don't feel that your parents are only you, they have their own lives, they are also adults, and they should not tie you to their side like their "appendages" and let you live like they are.
Learn to be selfish as soon as possible, manage your emotional relationship with your parents, make up your mind for a long time, ruin yourself, and finally become the same person as your parents and affect the next generation.
It's a new era, not that old age!