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Today I even turned over this text, and my long-term memory ------ swallow language
I always hope to find a time, a space, a reason, a gap, and let the dusty memory trickle down in the depths of my heart like that soothing music. In fact, the separation is because of my feelings that there is a problem, in my heart, the love I want is no longer the original, the person I want makes me so alienated, anyway, everything is no longer the way I want it.
Maybe, I myself have a problem, I am no longer the same me I used to be, because of time, because of distance, let me be so sensitive and worried, let me have so many grudges against you, in fact, I know that one person will be so tired of another person's heart, but maybe there is unspeakable pain in the depths of love, maybe because of that pain I am so and so, maybe this kind of I am also the most favorite performance.
Perhaps, there is no longer a possible, just close yourself, away from you. Maybe you think that I am still as calm, rational, thinking of you, and will return to your side as before, but why don't I feel like I used to? It turned out that no matter what, I felt that I was just gambling with you and being willful, and my heart was still together, but I clearly realized that this time was a real separation.
When does the memory begin? Time goes back to 2000, which was my most painful moment, so painful that I sometimes sat in class and tears would roll down. At that time, my heart was like falling into an ice cellar, without a trace of anger. The pain in my heart has never been told to anyone, even if it is my brother and mother, just like that in the thick midnight crying, sometimes waking up with a sobbing sound. Sometimes it hurts and I'm really depressed, and the best way to decompress is to keep a diary, and now I don't dare to touch those diaries anymore.
Depressed, depressed, helpless, wandering, helpless, struggling, but in any case I could not struggle out of the dark bottom of the well, and I could only warn myself that my own path, no matter what, I had to grit my teeth and go down. At that time, how much I wanted someone to hurt, how much I wanted someone to understand, how much I wanted someone to love, how much I wanted someone to take me out of this prison of the soul? The heart is longing, suffering, hurting is still continuing------ at such a moment, I really met you, and I got to know you in this state of mind.
From an early age, he longs to be loved, to be hurt, to be known, to be understood, to be cared for, to be relied upon, to be cared for-------- and from an early age he longs for a person who is generous, tolerant, wise, humble, introverted, rational, and successful in his career. Such a person should have appeared in my sleep, should have been a dream of my life, but I still met and got it. You gave me this feeling, I am glad, God can't bear the pain of my heart to send you to save me, right? The first time you met me, I don't know why? Just so determined, so from the bottom of my heart to care, care for me, at that time my heart was frozen, so just moved, no other than him.
In an icy and snowy place, there was a small rabbit with frozen limbs, and there was no heat on his body. There was a passerby who accidentally touched it, and he loved it so much, so he took him in his arms, took him home, and warmed it with his own body temperature little by little. Slowly, the little rabbit opened his eyes, and he looked happily at the kind man. I am that little rabbit, just like this, from the initial touch, to feel all your good, my heart is warmed like this, and the pain is no longer felt. Since then, my heart has been saved by you, and since then I have had the happiness of my own heart, but my heart has never easily accepted others, unless he let me love in my heart.
Someone said that a man has loved deeply when a woman has not yet felt it. At that time, you were so attentive, so that you created the happiness of the heart for me. I am at home or at work you want me to give you a ring phone to determine my location, so that you can rest assured that every time the phone rings, your heart is already happy. So so cared for, so so concerned, so so concerned, so so surrounded by love, at that time, I was fighting with pain in such love, and at that time I often laughed at myself that I was in pain and happy!
In this way, your love slowly soaked into the bottom of my heart, and in this way I began to fully accept you from the heart, and to be happy and happy with your love, without pain, I felt that I was the happiest little woman in the world, because of you, with your love. That's why there is that "You Say": You say / You have worked hard to find me / Will never let go easily / You say / The pain in my heart is too much / You must nourish me with the love of your heart / You say / Love me / Never allow me to be sad again / You say / Your heart has never been so shocked / Only because of me / You say / Every word you have said / Floating in my heart / I am the woman you have saved with love.
In your heart, I never defended, and I restored my truth: love to cry, love to laugh, love a lot, dream a lot, you are so aware of me, I understand, I love me, I love me, we are so harmonious and tacit. Sometimes you don't need words, just give you a symbol and you understand my intentions, and then the corners of my mouth swing the sweetness of being loved.
Your heart is the sea, carrying me so much, in your heart, I am the fish, such a wide space makes me insist. I like the feeling of being willful to you, I like to think of you and cry at you, I like to gamble with you willfully, I like to bully you so much in my heart, but you never care, you are so tolerant, so pampered, and the heart is so dependent on you. I even wonder how I can sustain without you? I once cried and said to you, I am so afraid that one day we will not feel it, so afraid that one day we will not find the way home.
Your heart gave me a home, a warm and open home. In this home of the heart, I am so content, so quiet, so happy and happy! Because of your love, I love others more, because of your love, I love everything, because of your love, I am so guarding myself.
From the very beginning of our time, I will keep a diary for you, record the bits and pieces of our mental journey, I am not familiar with poetry, and now in this book of poems, when others praise my literary style, I never think of my own strength, because it is just the real self. The original you were so pleased with my words, so attentive to read the trajectory of the heart, the bits and pieces of love.
There are too many memories, and it is difficult to tell them all in words. Eight years, we, eight years we have never been together, but in the heart is a familiarity like a loved one; eight years, perhaps the heart is tired, separating some distance of the heart, so that distance produces beauty; eight years, you have never quarreled with me, when I am really in trouble with you, you remain silent. You said that I am not calm and rational with such a mentality, and after that, I always laugh at you, and I can't argue with you. You always say a word; what is yours is yours, not your compulsion not to come. Who are we and who are we? Only in the heart, sometimes, have to separate, have to give up. Giving up, perhaps another better way to get, deep in the heart or even a lifetime of memories.
I always thought that I could not bear such an ending, but now my own mentality is so peaceful and so talkative. Perhaps, the original I really grew up, really sensible, really mature, it turns out that you often say that I simply grew up! That's why I let you run through your heart like that. This afternoon, after listening to your songs for a long time and feeling your voice, I am afraid that is the only way I think of you at all times.
We are emotional people, everyone has their own emotional story, in such a night, the emotional bits, quiet memories, faintly thinking of you, dreaming of you are not inductive? Is it touching my silent heart?
February 23, 2008
Author: Swallow, a little girl who is low to the dust.
One-point swallow literature