Last month, the full list of 2022 Oscar winners was released, and "Hearing Girl" won best picture. The title CODA means Children of Deaf Adults, the auditory generation raised by deaf and mutes. Several of the hearing-impaired characters in the film are played by real hearing-impaired actors.
At the Academy Awards, there was a scene that was touching - the hearing-impaired actor Troy Cortsoul won the Oscar for best supporting actor for the film "Hearing Girls", and he was also the first hearing-impaired actor to win this award, and the award guest Yin Ruzhen conveyed the award message to him in sign language.
The film is adapted from the French film "The Belliers" released in 2014, which is very classic. "Listening Girl" is undoubtedly a successful adaptation, Douban score 8.6, warm and humorous, delicate but not pretentious.
Around the deaf-mute family that makes a living from fishing, it tells an inspirational story: the only girl in the family with normal hearing, swinging left and right between family and dreams, and finally "reconciling" with her deaf-mute parents and being admitted to the music hall of dreams.
A family of four, except for the youngest daughter who is deaf and mute, what kind of life will she experience?
When ridicule and deception attack crippled families, deaf-mute parents do nothing, is this inherently optimistic?
When the daughter pursues her dreams, why does the sunny and enlightened mother not want to be fulfilled and stop it step by step?
……
On the road to happiness, how much suffering and struggle to endure, perhaps from the story of this special family, we can draw some forward strength.
The fisherman's daughter
Is a lone interpreter
Ruby, a high school girl, helps her deaf-mute parents and brother run the fishing business every day, and she must get up at three o'clock in the morning to go out to fish. The family relies on this little girl to help negotiate the daily pricing of fishing goods so as not to be deceived by miserly local buyers.
Ruby had to rush to class after a few hours of busy time for home, because she was so tired, she often slept in class, her grades were very poor, and she never thought about going to college.
She is the "interpreter" of her family's connections to the outside world, and without her, the whole family is a paralyzed machine.
Switching freely between sound and silence, both worlds seem to have an insurmountable barrier with her.
At home, although Mom and Dad and brother love Ruby very much, the deaf-mute group is different from the normal way of life, and friction often occurs. Ruby couldn't stand all the noise her family made and often put on headphones. She was like an outsider, not the same kind of person as her family—only she had normal hearing.
At school, classmates laughed at her for "smelling fishy" and mimicked Ruby's parents' sign language. She was like a clown, with low self-esteem and sensitivity—her parents were strange deaf mutes in the eyes of others.
Luckily, she loved singing, joined the choir with her crush boy Miles, and met Mr.V. Bó Lè, and her singing talent was stimulated little by little. Teachers encouraged her to study at the Berkeley School of Music and offered her free tutoring.
But she was often too late for family chores, and the teacher gradually lost patience, leaving her to choose between family and dreams. Ruby was so entangled in her heart that she said to her teacher, "I've never tried not to do things with my family."
"She never had a baby"
Their parents' fishing business is just starting to pick up, and they need Ruby to continue to be a "translator." While Ruby wanted to go to music school, dreamed of Berkeley in distant Boston.
Reality hinders the yearning in her heart, and Ruby has accumulated a lot of resentment towards the family, and finally breaks out in a quarrel with her parents:
"I've been translating all my life, exhausted. Singing is what I love and everything I have. ”
However, her parents were unsure of their daughter's singing level, did not support her decision, and feared that she would be hurt by failure.
In particular, my mother was always reluctant to let go. She said "she was our baby" and Dad said "She never had a baby."
Yes, their daughter began to act as the "interpreter" of the family from the moment she was able to speak, never stopping.
But Dad thinks Ruby is an opinionated and independent girl, "she knows who she is."
Before going to bed, the mother took the initiative to talk to her daughter and communicate frankly with each other, which also made the daughter understand her mother's "support".
Ruby asked her mother, "Before I was born, did you wish I were deaf and mute too?" ”
Mom replied, "Yes, I used to wish you were deaf and mute." ”
Why?
It turned out that her mother did not want to disappoint Ruby, nor did she want to see Ruby not be close to her.
As a healthy person, her mother did not have the confidence to raise her well, and at the same time, because she loved her daughter too much, she was unwilling to let her leave this home and go to the outside world to accept an uncertain life. But the habit of relying on her daughter, her departure also makes her mother feel marginalized, the whole family loses the "bridge" of contact with the outside world, and loneliness suddenly hits.
But depriving her daughter of her freedom and dreams also made her deeply guilty and guilty, and finally chose to let go and be perfect.
Listen to the girl's song of life
Ruby is happy, even if the surrounding is full of ridicule and debasement, but in the face of the love and support she has received, these are not worth mentioning, but bleak.
When the family attends Ruby High School's singing performance, they unnaturally observe the reactions of those around them, always echoing, clapping, and getting up. In the film, a 1-minute silent mode is specially designed, which is very shocking. It makes us feel the world of the deaf and mute, silent, unable to enjoy beautiful music and people's laughter, helpless and wandering in the face of everything in the outside world.
In fact, this scene also proves once again the significance of Ruby to the family, in order to help the family and the outside world to better communicate, she has paid too much patience and perseverance, she is an extremely loving family, responsible interpreter.
When she returned home from the concert, Ruby stood under the night sky with her father, who asked her to sing the song from the concert again. This time, by touching Ruby's neck and vocal cords, the father felt the ups and downs of her voice when she sang, and also felt her daughter's love for singing. The father and daughter looked at each other affectionately, and the full love intention was flowing.
The father put aside his worries and fully supported his daughter's dream.
In addition to the love of his parents, the brother is also trying to support his sister. As an older brother, he thought that he should have protected his sister, but because of his hearing impairment, he became the one who was taken care of by his sister. But he silently studied and communicated with normal people, and let his sister go abroad to learn singing as soon as possible.
He forced himself to participate in a liquor store that he did not understand at all, knowing that the other party was deducting his fish price, and would rather try to fight in sign language than his sister to help. His stubborn love, seemingly rough, is actually gentle.
On Ruby's dream pursuit, I have to mention the encouragement and companionship of teacher Mr.V, who makes Ruby believe in her musical talent even more.
In order to make Ruby dare to sing in front of people, he asked the whole class to practice puppy vocalization to eliminate Ruby's timidity.
He never laughed at Ruby's pronunciation, but encouraged her to make sounds that she thought were ugly, thereby unleashing her explosive power. Teacher Mr. V didn't give up on her because her family was hearing impaired, overbearing incentives, and unconditional support.
When her family accompanied Ruby to the long-awaited interview at Berkeley College, Ruby performed sign language for the first time, and she hoped that her favorite family members could read the lyrics and feel the love and freedom she expressed.
In the end, Lu Ru, who bravely chased her dreams, was admitted to the Berklee College of Music.
On the day she left home, she ran out of the car and hugged her family. She knows that her departure will face great challenges for her family, but she believes that everything will get better and better. Because parents and brothers have begun to accept their own physical defects, no longer reject normal people, and be ready to get along with the outside world.
An effective parent, first of all, must have the strength to heal their own pain. When we fully accept our own fragility, inferiority, resentment and other emotions, we can accept the child and support her choices and pursuits.
Respecting children as independent individuals is easier said than done. We can only reflect on ourselves in every detail: whether to make any decision in our own interests or from the perspective of our children.
There are countless possibilities for children's growth, discover where their talents are, and infinitely magnified, we will harvest unlimited surprises for raising children. Let children find a sense of value and belonging other than grades, such as enthusiasm and hope for life, support and love from family and friends, which is a great blessing in their lives.
Allowing children to be themselves is the love of parents and the background of children's happy life!
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