Editor's Note:
They were not born demons, but they had never seen the appearance of angels. Poverty, hunger, gunfights, prisons, refugee camps, racial vendettas... In the endless darkness, it is a blessing to live in peace, where is the leisure to talk about school?
She came from a middle-class white family, which could have obtained a brighter future and a good income, but she devoted herself to the apricot altar with enthusiasm. The three-foot podium, painstakingly lonely, the "degenerate school" where others see "it is best to wear body armor to class", but it is the place where her dream began...
This is a true story. When I first came to Canada to study teacher training, the teacher who taught international education recommended it to us, and everyone around me was shocked.
01. Where the smoke of gunfire is lit
“...... I thought about going to law school until I realized that when you defend a child in court, it's too late, and the first smoke of war is lit up in the classroom..." Allen, a new teacher at Wilson High School, passionately explained his ambitions.
Ms. Campbell, the head of the department, only squeezed out a helpless smile: "Alan, you are kind and smart, you should know the current situation facing our school..."
Ellen still responded with a bright smile: "I'm ready, I want to stay here!" “
Campbell's eyes widened, as if surprised by the innocence of the young man, and she looked at the moist necklace around her neck and boasted, "This string of pearls is so beautiful." ”
"Thanks, my father sent it!" Alan stroked the necklace flattered, not expecting the second half of the supervisor's words in his mouth: "But I wouldn't wear them to class." “
02. Respect
On the first day of school, she solemnly walked into the campus in a crisp red dress.
The supervisor's "advice" had long been forgotten by her. That exquisite accessory, in her opinion, is the finishing touch of professional clothing, which can give people a dignified and stable impression, and can make her more convinced that she is worthy of the title of "teacher". And, from the day she put it on, she never seemed to have any intention of taking it off.
The prep bell rang, and she was greeted only by graffiti spreading freely in the empty classroom and desks. But she still carried the anxiety and joy characteristic of the newcomers in the workplace, and wrote down her surname on the blackboard one by one, waiting for the arrival of the freshmen of high school.
Without a greeting or the uneasiness of being late, a group of "scattered soldiers" broke into the 203 classroom with a big wave. They threw down their school bags and began chatting in groups of three or five.
The first lesson ended in a fight between two boys. They call each other "stupid" because only the "stupidest students" get assigned to this class.
The young female teacher watched the boys wrestling together, anxious, while the classmates around them only indifferently removed their tables and chairs, as if they were not only accustomed to this, but also happy to make room for the "gladiators".
If the first lesson was just an unpleasant vignette, what awaited her was a nightmare.
A brief alarm bell suddenly shattered the calm of the classroom. The whole class scattered, completely ignoring the teacher's stop. The whole campus has become a mess, and in the open space downstairs, young people of different ethnic groups are forming gangs and using violence to vent their grievances.
Alan kept dodging the chaotic crowd. At the beginning, she insisted on going her own way, precisely because she knew that "there are tigers in this mountain." Now I can really glimpse the true appearance of the "tiger", but I find that its viciousness and horror have completely exceeded my imagination.
Worse than that was the discouragement of the family: the group fight quickly made the news, attracting questions from the father.
His question was simple: "How much do you earn by doing this job?" Is it worth wasting your talents on a bunch of 'criminals' who have no intention of learning at all..."
Allen disagreed: he chose this job himself, never "for the sake of rice beams." Ideals cannot be measured in money, but can be achieved with actions.
She dried her tears, regrouped, and returned to the battlefield with a spring breeze on her face.
Soon, a shooting case once again made the school leaders sad, and Alan's classmates in Eva's class were also involved.
The leaders asked the teachers to keep quiet about the matter.
At first, Allen did return to class casually and continued to talk about grammar.
Classroom discipline is still as bad as ever. The black boy Jimmer is holding a spoof portrait with a look of indignation on his face: the exaggerated thick lips and the short curled hair depict who he is? Behind him, the "mastermind" and "accessory" had already laughed.
Alan grabbed the painting from his hand and finally decided not to be silent: "You know, I saw a painting in the museum that is very similar to this..."
She thus linked the nazi holocaust in history— the consequences of racial hatred to the extreme.
But everyone was dismissive of her teachings: most of the time the classmates were like water and fire, but they were all minorities at the bottom of society, living a life unimaginable to the well-treated white teacher in front of them. Therefore, they hated her friendly smile, hated her for ignoring them and struggling in desperate situations, and only blindly teaching useless grammar, and even more disgusted by her sad and compassionate appearance, as if she could save the whole world.
Marco said: "We fight and die like soldiers, just to gain respect!" “
Alan replied with a loud voice: "In order to gain respect, you should give respect." ”
"This is nonsense," interrupted Andorra, who was wearing a hoodie, "if you are a teacher, will I respect you?" I don't know you at all, how do I know you're not a deceitful liar? I don't respect you just because you're called a 'teacher'! ”
Alan looked directly at the confused teenagers who thought that a reckless life could be exchanged for "respect" and asked, "If you die senselessly, can you get respect?" She held up the portrait again, "After you die, you will only rot in the ground, and the lives of others will continue, because all you have left in the world is such a thing!" ”
The children finally bowed their heads in despair, while someone in the corner of the classroom silently raised their hands — probably for the first time since the beginning of school: "What is genocide?" ”
The bell rang at the end of class, and Alan looked sadly at the silhouettes of the students hurrying away, falling into contemplation.
03. They can't read
In the library, Campbell was busy sorting books into categories.
Alan picked up a copy of Anne Frank's Diary and asked excitedly, "Can this be borrowed for students?" “
Campbell only glanced at the cover and asserted, "They can't read it." ”
Alan wasn't dead yet: "We can try it, anyway, these books are usually just idle here..."
Unmoved, Campbell picked up a stack of broken books and said, "Look at how they used to treat these simplified versions of the books, I don't want to waste resources!" ”
They couldn't read, she said. Just like when she first advised Alan not to wear a pearl necklace to class. Perhaps in her eyes, Classroom 203 has nothing to do with any beauty in the world.
04. Change
On a new day, Alan appeared in the classroom on time with the rising sun, and she took out a few stacks of brand-new notebooks and began to announce her plan with interest:
"Everyone has their own story, and it's important to tell your own story. From today onwards, please write down anything you want to write in your notebook every day, I will not rate them, I will not read them, my only request is to keep writing..."
"But," Alan said, opening a locked cupboard in the classroom, "I open this cabinet every day, and if you want me to read it, please put your notebook in..."
She saw that everyone was just standing in the same place in a wait-and-see posture, and she was not eager to get a response, but just smiled and said, "Everyone is ready to come at any time", and then pulled over the chair next to her and sat quietly at the podium and waited quietly.
The first person to take to the podium was a normally taciturn black girl. She picked up the book and a smile flashed on her face.
The next day was theoretically a "parent-teacher meeting" in Classroom 203. Alan waited alone from dusk until dark, and in the empty classroom, the sign with the welcome sign was particularly glaring. She was about to reach out and pick it up when she suddenly remembered something and turned to the locked cabinet. She opened the cupboard and was pleasantly surprised to find that many notebooks were lying there neatly arranged, waiting for her to read.
She eagerly picked up a stack, and a shocking picture of life unfolded——
Marco: "In childhood, we played happily, like brothers. Until one day, on a park bench, he showed me a real pistol. After an inexplicable loud noise, the bullet came out, and he was killed on the spot, while I just sat where I was. It wasn't until the police arrived and I was put in a juvenile detention center that our childhood was over..."
Andorra: "... In the eyes of the world, he was just an unnamed corpse on the street. No one knew that he had been my friend. ”
A small diary opens a window for the mind to breathe freely and spit out pain, fear and sadness.
05. Receptionist English teacher selling bras
When everyone in Classroom 203 received an intact copy of Anne Frank's Diary, they couldn't believe their eyes: Was this beautifully bound book really prepared for themselves?
Unbeknownst to them, in order to raise money, Allen went to the mall to sell bras and work as a receptionist in an inn in his spare time. Little did they know that Alan had worked hard and traveled around just to prepare more surprises for them.
In the office of the Education Bureau, Allen made up her mind: she not only had to let the children read books outside the syllabus, but also organized a short trip.
Dr. Coren listened quietly, but he couldn't help it: although he was in a high position, he had no right to interfere in the internal affairs of the campus: "I have no way, you should obey the system." ”
"I don't obey." Alan replied politely and firmly, "If these kids know that we are just wasting their time teaching them, then why are they wasting their time going to school?" ”
It had been a few days since Allen's request had been granted. The letter, sent directly from the Education Bureau, inevitably disturbed the school leadership. Campbell immediately ran to the teacher to ask about the guilt, and before Alan could finish explaining, he brushed his sleeves away.
It was a particularly sunny day, and Alan and his father drove each other in and out of the slums, carrying every classmate from house to house.
She showed them to the Holocaust Memorial, where they could touch the real history and savor the fate of the little people who had perished; she invited them to dinner at the hotel where she worked, where they met for the first time in the sumptuous dining room with crystal chandeliers; she invited Holocaust survivors to sit at the same table and talk about life with them... Later, through the documentary she played, they also met James Zweig, a white volunteer who was seriously injured for fighting for the rights of black people.
She did what she said, crossing their souls with courage and respect; she made them understand that words are stronger than fists—even when they are in the mud, they can look up at the stars.
So, on the bus home from school, in the bridge hole by the water, under the lights at night, they couldn't get their hands on the scroll—it was Alan's carefully selected bibliography, and the characters in the book were either persecuted or imprisoned, and they had many similarities. At the same time, they have not put aside the pen in their hands, and they have paved their minds on the notebook anytime and anywhere.
People who have not seen the light do not desire the light, and birds born in cages do not desire to fly. But now they began to yearn for tomorrow, because someone had raised a torch in front of them and given them hope.
Even the original most stubborn Eva would ask the teacher after class: "What happened to Anne (in the book)?" ”
Alan just smiled and said, "Keep reading and you'll know." ”
The ending of the story is not good, Anne is captured, the diary is forced to be interrupted, and reality is not a fairy tale after all.
But Mark said, "Anne is dead, but she's still alive!" And, I love the Ms. Maple Guise who risked her life to cover Up Anne! ”
Inspired by Marco, Allen assigned an after-school assignment to write a Letter to Ms. Maple Gies.
But this time, the classmates were more "ambitious" than Allen: they not only wanted to send the letter to the lady herself, but also wanted to invite her to dinner.
"But....." Alan was embarrassed, "It takes a lot of money... At the same time, the lady is old and wonders if she can travel a long way..."
"We can find a way to raise money!" When it comes to imitation, children are always self-taught.
Marco couldn't help but ask, "Teacher, if Ms. Guise comes, can I escort her?" ”
06. Small lights in the darkroom
Flags are unfurled in the bright sunshine. Teachers and students at 203 are in full swing selling food to customers.
With funding from local restaurants, the bazaar fundraiser finally made the dream of Class 203 come true.
The letters of the classmates flew across the Atlantic Ocean from Long Island to Amsterdam, and Ms. Mapp Guise, who was deeply moved, planned to visit in person.
Marco never dreamed that the noble hero in his mind was such a thin old man.
He stretched out his arms and gently took her arm: "You are my hero. “
The old man shook his head: "I'm just an ordinary person, and I did what I had to do." It's like everyone can light a little light in a dark room..."
07. Excuses
This year, Allen worked three jobs at the same time, planning wonderful activities and leading students to continue to improve academically.
However, there is no unbroken feast in the world, and according to the regulations, she can only teach the first grade with her qualifications.
The students refused to be bound by rules and regulations, and they just wanted to go down with Alan and everyone in Room 203 because "this is the only place in the world where they can 'be themselves.'"
"I've tried my best." A few days later, Alan announced helplessly but firmly, "But in any case, please don't use me as an excuse for you to stop ..."
The children bowed their heads in disappointment, as if they understood something, but were unwilling to face the harsh reality.
08. Forever 203
In front of dozens of computers, people sometimes flipped through diaries and sometimes tapped on keyboards—they were completing Allen's last idea: turning their stories into lead letters, like The Diary of Anne Frank.
In the quiet of the classroom, Alan personally drew up the title for the whole class's collection of stories: The Freelance Writer's Diary.
From now on, their voices will be heard by the world, and their stories will be passed on behind them!
When Campbell came to Alan again, Alan was still reading the students' work.
"Did you know that the education bureau leaders are talking to us again?!" Campbell asked.
"I don't know." Alan was dazed.
At sunset, a group of teenagers sat on the grass and looked forward to it. Seeing that the journey of a hundred miles is about to be half over ninety, can their guides continue to take them to the Promised Land? Will the future run to the light or return to Purgatory?
Qianying, who was wearing a pearl necklace, finally approached them, and everyone came forward to ask, "So, will we be together next year?!" “
"No." Alan frowned deeply.
Seeing everyone's disappointed looks, she turned sharply: "We will be together next year and the year after!" “
The breeze brushed everyone's cheeks, cheers echoed in the sky, and Alan and the children hugged each other tightly.
postscript:
The film has two translations: "Freelance Writer" and "Street Diary". The former is a literal translation, but I personally think the latter is more frank.
Compared with our traditional ethic of "respecting the teacher and valuing the Tao", the "respect" in the story is more rational, and it is based on an existence based on equality: teachers and students respect each other, and it is unfair to simply emphasize that one party is not fair.
There is no condescending, only lead by example, and she earns respect by giving it. Spring weathering and rain, the results are outstanding.
("Freelance Writers" twenty years later)