Many times we can't know ourselves, and we can't know where our positioning is very clearly, but we know very clearly whether our current mentality is good or not.
Where does one's mindset come from? It comes from how and how you think about a thing. There are good and bad mentalities, and no matter which kind of mentality appears, it will affect their own behavioral state.
When our mentality is not good, we will be easily angry, and it will be easy to lose control of our emotions, and even let ourselves doubt ourselves. Especially when one thing is not done well.
Life is not smooth sailing, everyone's life state is different, some people's life state is positive, some people's life state is a pool of stagnant water. No matter what kind of life state, the pace of life needs to continue to move forward.
I remember once counseling a client, in the process of doing counseling, I found that I had more than enough and insufficient strength, and I felt that the ability at that time was not good, it was impossible to solve the psychological problems of the client, and I did not know what to do. But at that time, when I was young, I felt that I could do it, and I felt that I could help my client solve problems.
So I chose to brace myself, and finally I held it up for an hour, and the visitor's problem was not alleviated, but became more serious. When the visitor left, he said to me: Everyone has his ability limitations, when he feels that he can't do it, don't hold it up, this kind of hard brace not only brings harm to himself, but also brings harm to the other party.
At that moment, sending off the visitor, I closed the door of the counseling room, and the tears suddenly flowed down, and at that moment I felt that I had failed, that I had studied psychology in vain. My mind broke down, and I didn't go to counseling for the next week, but adjusted my state.
In fact, I am also very clear that this kind of frustration is inevitable to experience, and not experiencing it is not enough to talk about life. But at that moment, your own mentality is negative, your own mentality is broken, and you didn't think about thinking about it with a growth mindset.
Psychologist Carol Dweck, as a pioneer of mentality, has a passage in her book "Mentality Wins" that describes it this way: Many of the things we do are driven by fear. This fearful mentality has led people to focus too much on the end result and see failure as a doomsday. But growth-minded people don't stigmatize failures as a necessary part of progress. This allows them to proactively seek positive outcomes regardless of the challenges they face, which in turn helps build resilience.
In fact, at that time, my mentality was a kind of fear, afraid of case failure, and over-focusing on the results of counseling. In fact, as long as you go all out and devote yourself wholeheartedly, you don't have to think too much about what the result is. If it really fails, there's no need to be sad, it's part of my progress.
With the adjustment of my own mentality, I was helpless in the face of many cases, and I learned to supervise and refer matching psychological counselors in a timely manner. At that moment, I learned the tools and methods, and did not dwell on the results of the case, in fact, the feeling in the consultation was very good, and the experience brought to the client was also very good.
Life is multifaceted, work is also multifaceted, and every dimension needs to be considered and reviewed for oneself. Why I like to review, because each review can make me find a more convenient and concise thinking logic in the past detours, which helps me to get more efficiency and experience in the next life and work.
Once a person's mentality is adjusted, a feeling of happiness will follow. The experience of happiness every day is self-contained, not the evaluation of others, but one's own evaluation of oneself.